the cereal is good. open.

Bobby Lashley (Colorado Springs, CO, 273 pounds) vs Brad Attitude (220 pounds, already in the ring) - Lashley has his first name back? Huh. Your ref is Charles. Josh is picking Lashley to win the Rumble? Huh. Circle. Lockup, Brad backed up into the ropes, break, and Brad gets in a cheapshot. Off the ropes, into a boot. Josh talks about recent Royal Rumble winners, mentioning Austin and Lesnar. Corner whip, corner clothesline. Overhead belly to belly suplex. Lashley pulls him up by his tights, Brad elbows free. Brad tries a clothesline, Lashley ducks and catches him, T-Bone suplex. Half hour suplex - one handed at the end. Lashley looks ready to end it - spear. Pounding his chest and calling for his finisher. Dominator. One two three. (1:52) Josh: "Keep your pimp hand strong!"  

Krystal talks to WWE Cruiserweight Champion Kid Kash, who does not appear to be looking at her face. Krystal tells him that he's defending the title in a Cruiserweight Open match, which appears to be the first Kid Kash has heard about it. "What are my thoughts? I'll tell you what my thoughts are, I think I'm going to give you an open invitation right now, yea. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE. [half yelling the rest of the way] You see, it's real simple, people don't like me around here, and I can't say that I blame them. I'm only the Cruiserweight Champion of THE WORLD, and it doesn't matter who my opponents are going to be, I'm still going to walk out with this belt around my waist, the Cruiserweight champion of the world. Those are my thoughts! Get it? Got it? Good!" 

Gymini (507 pounds, w/Simon Dean) vs Jason Jones & Dinti Moore (477 pounds) - Usual "Simon offers Simon System, they say no [Simon hopes that's what they say], they get beat." Your ref is Chris Kay and they still don't have names. Josh reveals he's over the Cruiserweight eligibility - he's been bulking up. "I mean, unless the Invitational was a game of Playstation, then I'm ready to go." Dinti is apparently bleeding, though this screen is too small for me to tell. James reminded me that the Conquistadors didn't have names either, but my thinking is they didn't actually get pushed. They both toss Jones up on the air and let him land on his own; that can't feel particularly good. One two three. (2:33) They get the Cross Trainer on Dinti while they're at it. 

MNM vs Kurt highlights. This video package is quite seizure inducing. (1:13) Followed by a video package for the Henry/Angle match. 

Brian Kendrick & Paul London (369 pounds) vs Jamie Noble & WWE Cruiserweight Champion Kid Kash (403 pounds) - your ref is Korderas. Josh: "I wear a mask around the house all the time." This could be okay; there's either a big bonus video package to end the show, or they've got 12+ minutes. No one knows what the Invitational is, which means no one can remember back to the last time they did one. Kash and Kendrick to start, I think. No, it'll be Noble. Lockup, no. Lockup, Noble gets in a kneelift. Point of the elbow to the head. Brian tries to get in some elbows to the midsection, but Noble stops him with a knee to the head. Chops. Rights. Headlock punch. Corner whip, down goes Brian, tag to Kash while Noble stands on Brian's head. Stomps. Right. Knees to the midsection. Turnbuckle smash. Chest slap. Gut punch, kicks to the side. Kendrick tries to fight his way out of the corner and is pounded down. Tag to Noble. Kash gives forearms to Kendrick's back on his way out. Noble tries to turnbuckle smash Kendrick, but Brian blocks it and gives Jamie one his own. Kendrick with punches. Jamie with a headlock, but Brian is able to sneak in a tag to London. Noble off the ropes, under a double leapfrog, Brian hiptosses him, then hiptosses London on top. Kash in, and he takes a double hiptoss. London boosts Kendrick up for a double dropkick on both of them. Kash and Nobel sent out, London and Kendrick head up - stereo planchas! London's pumped. He throws Noble in, and follows with a slingshot Oklahoma roll - one, no London's accidentally got his arm caught underneath Noble and is keeping him up. Kick to the back. Forearm, chop. Whip, shot to the midsection, off the ropes, knee to the head, one two NO. Josh: "Mr. Wrestling #2 style kneelift." Suplex. One two no. Noble's chest is red. Noble manages to sneak in a knee and forces London in the corner. Hard chop, London fights back, they brawl, and Noble wins with punches. Shoulder to the midsection. Corner whip, charge in, London gets up a back elbow, and Kendrick sneaks in a clothesline from the outside. Korderas argues with Kendrick about cheap shots from the outside while London goes up - and Kash gets in his own cheap shot, knocking London off the top rope and to the floor! Kendrick out checking on him, and Kash is lurking around to take advantage of it. When Korderas orders Kendrick back to his own corner, that's exactly what happens. Stomps, and London thrown back in one two Kendrick breaks it up. Noble yanking London around by his hair. Hard short clothesline. One two no. Chinlock. Crowd clapping loud to rally London. London elbowing and punching out. Off the ropes, into a Noble forearm. Tag to Kash while holding London down. Kash gets in a (drop?)kicks to the head, one two no. Smashing London's face into the mat. Knee to the head, shot for Kendrick to tick him off. Kick to the chest, kick to the back, stomp on the back of the head, one two NO.  London trying to get free, but Kash grabs him by the tights. Kick to the ear, which Romero is oddly quick to notice. London's down and holding it. One no. Yea, he's hurting. Tag to Noble, who takes over with a stomp. Legdrop. Legdrop. One two no. Chinlock. London trying to draw from the crowd, but Noble forcing him down. Now the crowd comes along, and London coming with them. London fights Noble back, but back towards Kash. London punches and elbows his way out of the corner, but Noble drop toe holds him before he can get going. Tag to Kash, who drops a knee on London's head. Yanking London's head around. Forearms to the head. Camel clutch now. London hurting but wont' give. Kendrick trying to rally the crowd, but London forearms him into the mat. Slaps to London face - London slaps back. London gets in another punch, but Kash kicks him in the chest, kick him in the back, and knee drops him on the back of the head. Tag to Noble. Scoop, slam. Elbow drop. One two NO. Front facelock. KID KASH SUCKS. KID KASH SUCKS. That was out of nowhere. London trying to move the hold towards his corner, moving, got the tag rather easy - oh, it's because Korderas missed it, arguing with Kash. Kendrick's angry, but London is getting stomped down by both guys. Kash and Noble make a switch without a tag, which seems awful hypocritical of James Korderas. London trying to wildly swing his way free, but Kash forearms him down. London won't stop swinging, and fights his way to his feet. Corner whip, Kash flips out of the corner, London tries a punch, Kash ducks, and gives him a back suplex into a faceslam. Tag to Noble. Stomp. London rammed into the corner. Corner whip, charge in, London moves out of the way! Can he make finally make the tag? Going the wrong way, so that's a no. Noble tries to kill him with a running kick, but London rolls out of the way and Noble crotches himself in the ropes. Crawling, crawling - GOT IT. Kendrick in with a right for Jamie, right for Kash, back elbow for Jamie, back elbow for Kash, dropkick for Noble, leg lariat for Kash! Kendrick whips Noble, Noble quick reverses into a powerslam one two London dropkicks it up. Kash on him, and throws him out through the ropes. Kash pounds Kendrick, and he and Noble double whip him. Kendrick ducks the double clothesline, and London pulls out Kash while Kendrick tries a crucifix rollup on Noble. Noble won't go down, at least until London comes back in and Dropsault him over, one again the shoulder won't stay down. Kash back in and kicking London in the back, and snaps him over his knee for a backbreaker. Kendrick dropkicks him - he's limping here, and he has since the double whip. Noble gets him off his feet with a leg lariat to the midsection. Korderas checks on him as London comes back in and lights up Noble with kicks. Noble throws him out of the ring by his tights, and we're left with the legal men in again. Kendrick in and limping - charging, and backdropped out the apron. Nobel with right hands, shoulder to the midsection, going back to the far ropes and charging, and Kendrick has enough time to move out of the way. Jamie throws himself through the ropes, as Kendrick flips back in - only for Kash to nail him with the wrist cast we're just now mentioning. Kash sneaks out before he's caught. Kendrick is out on the mat, but Noble is out on the outside. Kash realizes it, and throws his partner back in. Noble in but staggered. Pin - no, Dragon Sleeper! Kendrick is already out, so the ref has to check his arm and stop it. (13:47) That's the longest match on this show in two forevers. Who's facing Kid Kash at the PPV? Who knows. Josh: "Someone's going to WrestleMania!"