so: guess they don't need to come up with a name for Luther Reign's move now.
tv pg v cc entertainment open
Rene Dupree (w/o Fifi, Paris, France, 260 pounds) vs Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 192 pounds) - Your announcers are Josh and Romero, not that we're going to see them this week. They're back to accenting the e's again. You're not allowed to wave a French Flag in an American arena, or you'll tick off Josh. Josh doesn't like French Meatloaf. Romero: "How about the way they kiss?" "Listen, Steve, stop hitting on me, okay?" "Believe me, I'd have to get to the lower rung of the rope to do that." Huh? Dupree says something to referee Korderas - Romero says "he might be bilingual." We have heard Dupree attempt to speak English and French, haven't week? Huh. Lockup. Rene quickly backs Shannon into the corner, only stopped by the USA chants. Rene pats Shannon on the cheek. Shannon sells it like death. Okay, break. Lockup, Shannon inside cradle one two no. Pat for Rene. Rene can't believe someone would do such a thing. Kick, forearm, forearm, stomp stomp stomp stomp and Shannon gets thrown out. I don't think Rene is happy about the pat. Rene out to beat up Shannon some more as Romero becomes the first to say "Snow White", and is happy advances in medicine means Show doesn't have to be kissed by a prince. The Prince of Punk is probably even happier about that. Back in, Shannon getting in some forearms, but runs right into a turning spinebuster. Time to dance. French Tickler, off the ropes, fistdrop. Powerbomb? No, Shannon fights out of it, Dupree falling backwards and Shannon falling on top one two no. Dupree stomps Shannon. Whip, clothesline missed, Shannon back with a clothesline. Clothesline, kick, Shannon Tickler while Dupree is waiting and bent over, Shannon off the ropes, jumping swinging neckbreaker. One two no. Josh says that's the Mooregasm - it kinda is a running version of the same move, but you have to specify that for full credit. Rene rams Shannon in the corner. Setting up Shannon on the top rope, but Shannon kicks him away, off the top rope swinging headscissors one tow NO. Shannon can't believe it. Shannon to the top middle rope, WOW crossbody meets Dupree's knee (camera angle chosen to hide the next move.) Dupree Driver. One two three. (3:15) Seems like the same Dupree as always.
Up Next: Eddie didn't want to do it!
Romero has a lousy scoff.
Judgment Day: Rey Mysterio vs Eddie Guerrero
Eddie tells us what he realized. Just the promo here (3:30)
Tonight: Orlando Jordan vs Scotty 2 Hotty.
05/15 - Redding, CA [SD! WM Revenge]
05/17 - Sioux City, IA [SD!]
05/22 - Minneapolis, MN [Judgment Day]
05/23 - La Crosse, WI [SD! WM Revenge]
05/24 - Milwaukee, WI [SD!]
thug life Billy Kidman and Akio (405 pounds) vs Nunzio & Mark Jindrak (438 pounds) - They have yet to create the Akio/Kidman joint entrance video. Romero says Akio's normal black/white gear is new. I like to pretend Josh leaves him hanging here. Jindrak is wearing green in the name of unity. Announcers act like this is a new tag team, great. You didn't think it was possible for Nunzio to step down in Natural Born Thriller partners. Man, think of all the people who have been cut or left, and Jindrak's still here. Announcers assure us Jindrak is like a cruiserweight, yet awesome. Jindrak and Kidman to start. Kidman backed into the corner, break, Kidman getting in a kick, forearm, forearm, whip, reversed, Jindrak's clothesline is slid under, Jindrak dropkick. Jindrak gets out while the getting is good. Jindrak with a whip, kick, Nunzio adds the swinging neckbreaker one two no. Kidman is able to run Nunzio into Akio's corner and tag in Akio, not that it does much good. Nunzio beats up both of them while in the corner, culminating with a spinning headscissors. One two no. Kidman grabs Nunzio form outside, Akio charges at him, Nunzio moves and Akio gets it. Nunzio inside cradle on two no, small package one two no. Akio out, Nunzio out, Akio turns the corner and Kidman rams Nunzio into the barricade. Kidman throws Nunzio back in, one two NO. Akio with a suplex, one two no. Tag to Kidman. Stomps. Scoop, slam. one two no. Josh is friend with Heidenreich now. I wonder what little Johnny thinks! Kneeling surfboard. Nunzio rallying out - we going to the hot tag already? Elbows, off the ropes, sunset flip, one tow NO. Kidman stops that with a dropkick, one two NO. Now Kidman is encouraging Nunzio to crawl and make the tag - ah, he ducks Jindrak before it gets close. Kidman drags Nunzio back as Jindrak argues with Nick Patrick, distracting him from the double team stomp down. Romero: "You know who doesn't make any friends at all?" Josh: "STEVE ROMERO!" Kidman covering, one two no. Nunzio tires to fight up, but Kidman forearms him. Kidman sets Nunzio up on the top rope, but takes a kick to the midsection. Sicilian Slice! Akio is aghast. Now is the time when we make the tag? Yes and yes. Jindrak doesn't demonstrate his cruiserweight like quickness getting into the ring, but whatever. Clothesline for Akio, clothesline, kick, double underhook gutbuster. Whip, Akio takes a high flap- no, Akio waits to the last second to flip over for a backdrop. Kidman back in, for all the good it'll do - kick, thrown into the corner. Akio's whipped into him, and Jindrak's with the corner cross body on both. AKIO FLOP. Jindrak calling for it - Left Hand Of Stone turns Akio inside out! One two Kidman nails Jindrak with a kick in the back to stop that. Right hands by Kidman. Shoulders, but Nunzio stops that and throws Kidman out. Akio is somehow back up and forearming Nunzio. Jindrak's just standing in the corner because he's waiting for his next spot. Nunzio corner whipped, Akio reversed into Jindrak's back elbow. Nunzio with a sliding dropkick to keep Kidman out, and Jindrak with the turning top rope clothesline, one two three. (5:16) This is what you get for complaining about Haas and Hardcore! Shut up.
Up Next: want to see Bad Bad Man a fifth time?
the Basham Brothers (SOD, 495 pounds) vs Joel and Jose Maximo (390 pounds, already ) - Chimel gets Jose right! Romero gets the mistake wrong! Josh has all the Cena songs in his iPod. Doug, who's not shaving the back of his head close again, locks up with, uh, one of them. Ah, it's Jose, thanks. Doug taking Jose apart with waistlock takedowns. Jose's rolled all the way out. Doug: "Doesn't even belong in here with a six pack like this" - I think. Whatever the case, Doug does a fine job of distracting himself into a Jose top rope plancha. Jose with a headlock and a lot of yelling. Doug runs him into the corner, then falls backwards to get loose. Danny throws Jose down by the stringy hair. Tag to Danny. Kick. Forearm to the back. Standing on him and pulling his hair. Danny allows Joel to tag in, and has no problem taking him down. Rotation back suplex. Off the ropes, elbow drop. Stomp. Stomp. Pose. Joel trying to fight his way up. Slam, Joel slips behind, chop, right, chop, right, chop, whip, reversed, Danny's hiptoss is revered, Joel's is blocked, Joel tries to get free and gets killed by a clothesline. Tag to Doug. Danny holds him for some better Doug chops. Stomp. What is that, a reverse cradle suplex? I forget. Josh opts for cradle back suplex, which is good enough. Jose lured in, so both Bashams can work over Joel - camel clutch and Boston crab combo? Okay. Danny stays in, Doug goes out. Stomps. Tag to Doug. Working him over with crossfaces to the head. Russian legsweep, holding onto a grounded octopus. I call everything an octopus. This one might be wrong. Jose breaks it up. Doug with a running knee to Joel's back as he gets up - Joel was supposed to tumble into his corner and tag Jose, but I think he missed. We pretend he made it anyway. Jose manages to get in a shoulder to Doug and ducks a clothesline before he runs into Danny's fist on the apron. Last Impression! One two three. (4:27)
X-Box Live presents the WWE Rewind: You can say gutterslut (if it's bleeped)
on TV PG
Romero: "the unrepeatable things he said about Booker's wife" - hey, you just repeated them! Oh, he means they thing they didn't repeat, I guess.
Booker T vs Kurt Angle, and backstage. (2:50)
Judgment Day: Kurt Angle vs Booker T
We're supposed to be wondering what Angle did to make Sharmell freak out, according to Romero
Judgment Day: Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio, if Rey is medically cleared
Judgment Day: John Cena vs JBL in an I Quit Match for the WWE Championship
Up Next: Orlando Jordan vs Scotty 2 Hotty
Unleashed presents the WWE Slam of the Week: JBL and Cena are inexplicitly broken up by Velocity. Look at Akio making SmackDown! The best part was when the heel jobbers starting holding back JBL and the same the other way, apparently completely by accident.
United States Champion Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 250 pounds) vs Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, ME, 205 pounds) - OJ has new music. Of course Romero likes it. Romero is giving Josh the business and Josh is giving him the salience of death; this dynamic is all wrong. Your ref is Brian Hebner. I guess this isn't a title match? "The entire Velocity nation on it's feet for Scotty 2 Hotty." Short version of long diatribe: it's a shame they use the cruiserweights as SD!'s version of Raw's wrestling Divas (when they had those on RAW.) Lockup, OJ with a trip. OJ with a bow. "Thank you." You're welcome. Josh explains that saying "I Quit" is the same as cutting off your own penis (but it much different words.) Lockup, no, OJ with a double leg takedown, float around into a - uh, reverse facelock is probably not what you want there OJ, there's the front facelock. Getting back up. Headlock. Shoot him off! Scotty did. Back with the shoulderblock. OJ pose. Off the ropes, over, into the hiptoss. Hiptoss. Scotty makes the OJ pose. Robot, duck the clothesline, kick, whip, superkick is avoided when OJ grabs the ropes. Scotty slides out, and trips up OJ. Scotty back to the apron, shoulder to the gut, roll in over OJ's back, off the ropes, spinning headscissors. Scotty pounds his chest. Corner punches? Not if Scotty spends forever staring at the crowd before punch one. OJ pushes him off, Scotty charges back in, OJ moves and Scotty posts himself. OJ pulls Scotty out of the corner and puts on a hammerlock around the ropes. And another. Noted boxer Orlando is now a submission guy, I guess. Standing armbar. Scotty's in pain, but no so much he can't ask Brian Hebner to take off his slipping elbow pad for him. Scotty trying to rally back. Right. Right. OJ with a knee. OJ walking around aimlessly. Back to Scotty, right, Scotty right. Scotty up, right, pause, OJ's punch is blocked, Scotty's not. Right, right, right, whip, reversed, Scotty with a fivearm. Backdrop. OJ stumbling and having trouble getting his footing. Corner whip, and Scotty charges into the back elbow. Scotty charges out, clothesline misses, there's that superkick. Both men down. I bet Scotty does a kip up at about seven. One two three four five six seven kip up by Scotty. OJ in position, off the ropes, OJ nails Scotty with a clothesline. OJ picks Scotty back up, if OJ goes backwards, it's a Flatliner! One two three. (5:01)
STOP PLAYING HARDCORE HOLLY'S MUSIC. That's it.