not so subtle indication: you think we're ever going to see a dual brand taping with the SmackDown! set? Me neither.
TV PG V CC entertainment open
From the WWE Excess Studios, your suited hosts are Josh (jack of hearts) and Romero (jack of morons.) This is a Very Special Episode of Velocity (and the 153th one), where we learn nothing. As opposed to normal, I know. They're pitching this as a recap of WM and the events since, giving them three weeks to clip from. Things are good for Cena! Things are bad for JBL!
Cabinet's struggles: Bashams lose to Booker and Big Show two weeks ago and get yelled at. Let's go over the meat guts part even though it has nothing to do with the lead in story. I guess this is about JBL's problems now. On to last Thursday, where OJ pulls rank on the Bashams. (6:08) We have to stay around to see the match. I wouldn't recommend it.
Still to Come: Interbrand battle royal!
WWE Rewind, sponsored by WM21 (don't buy it): stills of Rey vs Eddie from WM21.
Announcers segue from the handshake at the end of that match, and what's happened since.
The slow breakup, all the way to the title change. Anything the Rey/Eddie dynamic touches has been the best parts of this show, best parts of the WWE, by far. Whoever's putting this together needs to get a bonus or a pat on the back, though a lot of credit has to go to Eddie and Rey for playing everything just right. Those shoves had more impact than the typical "him with a clothesline and leave him laying" ever does. (5:46)
Up Next: RAW vs SmackDown! Never before seen!
Unlisted - Milan, Italy [SD! WM Revenge Tour]
Unlisted - Cardiff, Wales [SD! WM Revenge Tour]
Unlisted - Birmingham, England [SD!]
05/03 - Trenton, NJ [SD!]
05/07 - Hartford, CT [SD! WM Revenge Tour]
Prior to WM, there's a battle royale which may not have existed till now. From the WM DVD (out May 10th), where Josh says we can see the whole thing (though the way he's said it makes it look like we're going to see it all now; we're only seeing the end.)
This is really a clip and not a match, right? We join as Chris Masters is press slaming Nunzio out of the ring. As with the lottery, everyone's wearing their brand colors - which makes you wonder where Viscera got a shirt that big. (They cut the sides apart, so he's wearing closer to an apron than a shirt.) A quick check of the ring shows Nunzio should be thrilled with his performance, as he was part of the final four with Viscera, Chris Masters, and Booker T. What an odd selection. Eric and Theodore are both hanging around the outside, as are a bunch of refs. The clips showed people only throwing out people from the opposite brand, and these two keep their unity here as well. Booker whipped into the corner, Viscera whipped into him. Booker may be dead. RAW guys pick up his limp body, but Booker battles out of it. Inverted atomic drop for Masters, but Booker crotches himself on the ropes trying for an axe kick. Booker untangles himself to apron, and Viscera tries to bumrush him out of the match - but Booker drops down, pulling the top rope with him, and causing Viscera to fly out of the ring. Down to the final two, Masters marking the occasion by ripping his shirt to shreds and going for the Masterlock. I don't know if Masters ever got it completely locked on, but Booker did manage to easily back elbow out of it. (Nice of SD! to bury RAW finishes like that!) Masters backs up to recover, Booker approaches him, and Masters lifts him up in a fireman's carry to dump him out, but Booker grabs the top rope and blocks it. Booker slips free, and gives Masters a double leg. Holding on for a slingshot, featuring Masters showing absolutely zero leaping ability on the move. Masters (lamely) teeters on the top rope, trying to regain his balance and stay in, and manages to right himself. Then Booker superkicks him and it's over. (we saw 1:32) but we won't stick around long enough to see him Spinaroonie.
Could this be Booker's time? Could he get the title shot? Setting up the match on SD!
Big Show vs Booker T, for about two seconds. Shouldn't it have been a NC instead of a DDQ there? What's Nick thinking. (3:37) And we have to stick around to see THAT match too. I don't know how compelling that is.
Slam of the Week, presented by Boost Mobile: Angle beats HBK.
Josh and Romero said something here, but I'm fast forwarding.
Tag match. (1:51)
Wow, this is a short segment.
Up Next: WM 21 Recap video
WM 21 Recap video! After finally getting past this, and not picking up the song in GT4 for a while, local radio started playing "Big Time" as a new single of late. So unfair, they're totally no better than my fifth favorite Scandinavian rock band. Cena's number in college was 54, in case you were wondering. I was! Then I remembered I knew how to google. biiiiiigtime, we're all standing in line. I'm glad we need to have the sound clip of JR saying "This is a WrestleMania moment!" because the average WWE fan is braindead. PULL THE TUBE. Can anybody please you? (does anybody have to?) (4:23) Thanks to 3 Doors Down and the Sound Track Of Our Lives, even though Josh blows the CD name (Origin, Vol 1.)
Cena! Coming up!
When they say "[Christy's] dream came true!" was the dream they were talking about spending ten hours in an arena for a five second shot of standing around pretending to a read a magazine followed by a horror movie scream?
Josh cleans off his shoulder. Josh cleans off Romero's shoulder! Romero doesn't react. Romero is probably a broadcast professional here, not letting people doing stupid things distract you, but god bless it, that's all the fun I have with this show. Romero tries to win me back by doing the world's worst "You Can't See Me."
How Cena became champion. Apparently, you will not see "have a good match with OJ", which seems odd given the 100 chances those two have had to make it work. (3:53)
This Cena/OJ match is no different! (2:03)
SmackDown!: Big Show vs Kurt Angle vs Booker T vs JBL for a shot at the WWE Championship in a Fatal Four Way match.
Josh sizes up all the participants chances, and that's it.