TV PG V cc entertainment open

Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 213 pounds) vs chief of staff Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 257) - your announcers are still Josh and Steve Romero. I've gotta figure out a nickname for Romero, but the obvious choices ("Steve" and "Romero") are used by wrestlers I did more than him, and things like "moron" and "dummy" doesn't exactly distinguish who's cohosting Velocity that week. Orlando has to walk out here like a normal person. Josh: "Watch out ladies, OJ is loose!" He may still be watching the USC game. Circle. Lockup, Chavo headlock, takedown, back up, into a hammerlock. Josh: "I didn't even know how to tie my shoes when I was nine, and this guy was an amateur boxer!" Snap mare, chinlock. Spine kick. Kick to the side. Armbar, but Orlando kicks out. Right. Right. Whip, clothesline misses, cross body is caught? Wow, everyone in the faction gets to do the fall away slam now. Chavo ends up rolling all the way out. Jimmy Korderas stops OJ from going out, but OJ is pretty happy with posing. Chavo comes into get stomped and choked. Kicking and punching Orlando down. I can't believe Josh is the color guy in this pair. Chavo fights his way out of the corner, leading to the European uppercut. Chavo whip, reverse Chavo slides under, and stands up into a OJ flapjack. Kip up is not blown. Jab jab jab shuffle big right hand. No one says "Johnson Shuffle", so that may be done with. Instead, OJ finger draws "JO" in the sky. Who's JO? Stand over armbar. Josh: "this match, almost over five minutes now..." 2:42, bzzzzzt. It may feel like five minutes. Holding in the armbar. Why am I sorta bemused by OJ boxing at nine, but Chavo being around wrestling at three is fine? LUCHA BIAS. Romero says "humorous" twice with no sense of irony. Chavo punching his way out, off the ropes, kick caught, Orlando throws it down, jab jab jab "ONE MORE TIME!" shuffle load up and big right meets dropkick. Chavo's grabbing his nose and is stumbling as he gets to his feet, but he's in control. Right. Right. Right. Right. European Uppercut, European Uppercut and a tons of kicks. Stomping a mudhole. Chavo backs p, waits for OJ to get up, charges in, and the splash connects. Whip, reversed, fivearm connects one two NO. Chavo waits for OJ - no, he's kicking him. Punching OJ down to one knee, off the ropes, OJ with a kick, off the ropes, swinging neckbreaker reversed by Chavo into a backslide, one two NO. Kick. Right. European Uppercut. Whip, quick reverse into the Flatliner. One two three. (5:27) Was that the Black Ice? I'm not in the mood to check up on my Orlando Jordan continuity, and I bet it doesn't stink either.

Tonight: Booker T vs Spike Dudley
Next: Cena vs Kenzo Suzuki.

SmackDown! Live
01/09 - Orlando, FL [hhh tour]
01/10 - Jacksonville, FL [hhh tour]
01/11 - Tampa, FL [SD!]
01/15 - Kitchener, ON [hhh tour] 
01/16 - Halifax, NS [hhh tour]

This was better when it was Cena and Spanky! Actually no. I keep thinking Kenzo is on stilts because of that outfit. (5:49)
SmackDown!: John Cena (c) vs Kenzo Suzuki for the United States Championship
SmackDown!: RVD & Rey Mysterio (c) vs Booker T & Eddie Guerrero vs the Basham Brothers vs Mark Jindrak & Luther Reigns for the WWE Tag Team Championship in a Fatal Four Way. Someone screwed up - the Bashams should be checking their ear pieces during their video.
Tonight: Booker T vs Spike Dudley

Hardcore Holly (Mobile, Alabama, 242 pounds) vs ROH Pure Wrestling Champion John Walters (210 pounds) - Shockingly, John Walters belt is not announced. Shockingly, I could care less about this match. Shoulder powerslam is a two count here for whatever reason. Half nelson release suplex is a two count here for whatever reason. Is Walters going to get something in here? Not really. Holly's doing the deal where he's only half selling all the other guys offense. Dropkick, check. Rude flapjack to set up the Alabama Crunch. Top rope clothesline. Calling for it. Alabama Slam - no, sunset flip! That would've been the mark out of mark out. He gets it five seconds later anyway. (3:31)

Still To Come: Casket match recap

WWE Slam of the Week, brought to you by Subway: Carlito has a petition.

Rene Dupree (Paris, France, 260 pounds) vs Nunzio (200 pounds) - Romero is going ape about Rene's facial hair. Josh keeps feeding Steve lines, and Steve isn't picking up on them. Also, he calls Nunzio "the Nunz!". Josh: "Two worlds collide, Italy, France, they're both on opposite sides of the world." I know who didn't get a globe for Christmas! Steve says Josh got a "C" in geography - that's a pretty easy scale. Josh: "Okay, Steve. I got a bridge in Brooklyn I want to sell you if you're going to tell me that France and Italy are just a couple hundred miles away." Nunzio with a shove. Rene with a shove back. Nunzio with a shove back. Rene goes for the shove, but Nunzio slips behind, takes him down, and derisively pats the back of his head. Into a headlock. Shot off, Nunzio clothesline is ducked, Nunzio gets the headlock and the takedown. Back to their feet, and Rene rolls backwards to get free, but Nunzio jumps at him and gets the headlock takedown again. Rene battles back up, so Nunzio runs up the ropes to get him back down. Dupree rolls him over to his shoulders, one two no. Rene back up to his feet, back suplex, no Rene reverses to a sunset flip, Rene blocks it, and eventually turns out into a pull up powerbomb, but Nunzio reverses that to a 'rana. Got all that? Nunzio goes for the jumping headlock takedown again, but this time Dupree just shoves Nunzio past, over the top and to the floor. Dupree wanders out to collect Nunzio, and smash him into the apron. Dupree back in, and choking Nunzio on the middle rope. Nunzio trying to battle his way up, but Dupree punches him done. Corner whip, Nunzio goes down. Josh is loyal to Theodore Long, as long as he's not getting spit on. Time to dance? Not yet. Fist drop. One two NO. Nunzio fights up, gets knocked down by a chop. Neck vice. Josh: "I think that everyone should have their name on their pants!" This is a eureka moment for the announce team. Nunzio battles up, and adds a chinbreaker. Spinning DDT. One two NO. Punch battle ends up with Nunzio corner punches, and Nunzio being shoved up at at three. Nunzio ducks a clothesline and dropkicks the knee. Nunzio to the middle rope, Sicilian Slice! Called by Romero! One two NO. Nunzio pauses Dupree with a forearm, WOW crossbody is ducked under. Dupree with a big spinebuster. Time? Yes! French Tickler, strut kneedrop. Josh is now anti-French Tickler, while Romero has no idea what a strut is. Michinoku Driver, one two three. (4:56) We're now calling it the Dupree Driver - from the same people who brought you Batista Bomb.

Up Next: chanting

WrestleMania Recall: Triple H vs Stephanie McMahon for the World Heavyweight Championship, WM XVIII, 2002. Seriously, Jericho is only in this footage as a corpse. 

Casket match stupidness! All you people who wanted the Old Undertaker back should just die about now. (3:13)
Royal Rumble: Undertaker vs Heidenreich in a casket match. 
Heyman is noticeable by his non presence in this graphic. And that they've completely changed the Royal Rumble graphic presentation
Royal Rumble: JBL (c) vs Big Show vs Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship

Up Next: Booker T vs Spike Dudley

WWE Rewind presented by WWE SmackDown! vs RAW: Eddie vs RAW from SmackDown!

Booker T (Houston, TX, 256 pounds) vs - Josh: "My man! My partner!" You notice Josh smartly hasn't been talking up his undefeated record. Josh: "Booker T is electrifying!" Wrong guy!

SmackDown!: RVD & Rey Mysterio (c) vs Booker T & Eddie Guerrero vs the Basham Brothers vs Mark Jindrak & Luther Reigns for the WWE Tag Team Championship in a Fatal Four Way.

Booker T (Houston, TX, 256 pounds) vs Spike Dudley (150 pounds) - Your ref is Nick Patrick. Booker wants a handshake? Spike doesn't think so. Circle. Spike decides he's going to take a break. Josh: "Spike trying to play mind games with Booker - Booker unaffected." What are you trying to say? Spike back in. Circle. Reverse circle. Spike taking a break again, yelling at the fans a bit. Okay, back in. Lockup. Booker backs Spike to the corner. Booker patronizes with a clean break, and Spike kicks him. Eye gouge! Eye rake over ht top rope. "I'M THE BOSS!" Two corner punches, and a facebite. Right. Whip, reversed, battering arm to the midsection. Clumsy cover, one two no. Booker forced into the corner, and Spike out of the ring to smash Booker into it. Booker pulled all the way to run his back into the apron. Spike brings in Booker in for a springboard stomp. Choke. Right. Right. Running in place stomps. Spike backing up and posing, while Boor pulls himself up. Spike turns, and gets clotheslines. Another. Whip, backdrop. Whip, jumping side kick. Booker pumped up. Slam, no Spike slips behind. Kick, Dudley Dog - no, shoved off. Booker catches him on the rebound, and drops him with a 110th Street Slam! Spinebuster, whatever. Spinaroonie, eyes. Kick to the gut, scissors kick, one two three. (3:57) Steve says Booker's "game", but that was pretty one sided once Booker got a move in.

US Title! Tag Titles! That's it.