TV PG V CC entertainment open fireworks

WWE Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley (150 pounds) vs Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 213 pounds) in a non-title match - they give us a long pause before Josh (scratchy voice and all) starts talking. Bill: "I am looking at a dead man!" Josh, not Spike. "What were you thinking? What was going thru your mind? What could possibly go thru your mind right now?" Hey, welcome back to Velocity, Chavo. Didn't take long. Josh did what he had to do and doesn't regret it. "What the HELL were you thinking?" Josh: "It hurts when I sneeze!" "Don't sneeze!" Circle. Lockup, Chavo with an armdrag. Spike argues hair pull, Jimmy Korderas warns Chavo, who doesn't take him seriously. Bill: "There's a spot open on Eddie Guerrero's team. I'm hinting - there's a SPOT OPEN on Eddie Guerrero's team!" Josh tries to play dumb, but DeMott's got him beat there. Lockup, double wristlock, Spike backed into the corner, Chavo forces him down in the corner, Korderas forces a break while Spike gets out of the ring to yell about slow breaks. Spike back in. Circle. Spike backs Chavo into the corner, Spike's right is blocked, Chavo's right is not blocked. European uppercut knocks Spike across the ring. Chavo with a choke on the ropes, forearms, and another European uppercut. Whip, over, Chavo clothesline one two no. Turnbuckle smash. European uppercut. "That's MY championship!" Whip, Spike grabs the ropes, Chavo charges, and Spike throws him out. Spike is thrilled, Chavo grabs his eye socket. Spike out after him, and running him back first into the apron. Josh reminisces about the Over The Top DQ rule. Chavo brought back, in one two no. Spike with a snap mare, bottom rope springboard knee drop. Choke, one two three, break, choke again. Spike beats Chavo down in the corner, and then gives him the running in place stomps. Snap mare, chinlock. Chavo rallying with some help from the crowd, elbowing out, stopped by a forearm. Spike with a whip, hiptoss blocked and Chavo reverses to a backslide one two no. Spike stops this with a clothesline one two no. Spike puts on a chinlock, and yells at the crowd. Chavo tries an eye rake, but then draws from the crowd. Coming back, stopped with a forearm to the back. Spike suplex blocked, and Chavo reverses it. Spike right hand is blocked, Chavo fights back with his own. Whip, backdrop. Clothesline, clothesline, spinebuster, one two no. Bill keeps whispering "josh mathews" to try and get him to be the fourth man on Eddie's team, but Josh wants no part of it. One two NO. Corner whip, Chavo charges into Spike's battering ram. Spike tries Dudley Dog, but Chavo shoves him off. Kick to the midsection, lift up, Gory Bomb! One two three. (6:22) He just pinned the champion! Give him a title shot! Oh, right. Chavo has to be reminded it wasn't a title match. 

Tonight: Rico vs Billy Kidman
Tonight: Eddie Guerrero vs Danny Basham

SmackDown Live
11/07 - Fort Myers, FL [Holla Holla Tour]
11/09 - Corpus Christi, TX [SD!]
11/14 - Cleveland, Ohio [Survivor Series]
11/16 - Dayton, OH [SD!]
11/20 - Washington, DC [Holla Holla Tour] - in the Armory! what a less than promising sign.

Tough Enough Recap. They've sure made this suck! They've really exposed a lot of these people as dorks. (3:31)
$1,000,0000 Tough Enough Torrie Wilson Sex Test This Week - is there any chance this doesn't end involving Moolah and Mae Young? Any chance at all? Right.
SmackDown: Big Show vs Kurt Angle
Next: Rico vs Billy Kidman

SmackDown Your Vote is great! Look at this bar chart! (:15)

Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds) vs Rico (Las Vegas, NV, 228 pounds) - Bill: "I can't wait to vote!" Josh: "What the hell are you going to be voting for?" "I'm going to be voting for which match you're in next!" 228 pounds? Yea right. Josh: "I am 1-0, though." Have we learned nothing from Coach? Bill: "I'm sure everyone across the nation just heard you say that. I'm sure it'll be up in the locker room." Circle. Lockup, Kidman into a hammerlock, Rico with a fireman's carry reversal. Rico celebrates. Circle. Lockup, Rico back Kidman into the corner, Kidman turns it around at the last second. Clean break? No, Kidman with a forearm. Hiptoss, no, Rico reverses it. Kidman misses a clothesline, Rico with a waistlock and he's enjoying it. Kidman back elbow out, gets a waistlock of his own, and Rico enjoys that as well. Kidman off the ropes, into a drop toe hold. Legdrop on the leg! Rico with a crooked figure four. Kidman tries to hairpull his way out, but Rico doesn't have a lot on top. (also, Rico chops him.) Kidman gets to the ropes instead. Rico tries to follow up, but gets a knee. Scoop, no Rico slips behind, double le takedown, spinning around on Kidman' 's back, and riding him from behind. Kidman is confused, and running into a dropkick. Rico drops him with a dropkick, and heads up - but Kidman stops him with a forearm. Rico is knocked to the apron, and rammed into the ring post by Kidman. Kidman out to collect Rico, bringing him back in for one two no. Replay of Rico going hard into the post. Meanwhile, Kidman is doing - what, his Rockettes impersonation? Kidman chokes him over the top rope. Kneeling surfboard. "josh mathews". It's Mathews with ONE T, by the way. It's totally a fake name and only Josh knows why he decided to spell it that way it, but that's how it is. Rico turns around the hold, right, right, off the ropes, sunset flip one two no. Kidman misses the clothesline, nails the dropkick anyway. One two no. Kidman is amazed. Nick Patrick is not. Hard corner whip, Rico going in face first. Bill notes that Kidman tripped Rico on the way in. Kidman drags Rico back towards the center of e ring, one two no. Kneeling chinlock. Rico trying to rally form the crowd, crowd really not as loud as they were for Heat, or will be for Heat, or whatever. Rico punches his way up. Back elbow. Backdrop. Roundhouse kick to the head, one two no. Whip, quick reverses into a Kidman knee. Springboard bulldog is shoved off, Kidman charges into a flapjack. Kneeling reverse neckbreaker? Sure, why not. One two no. Rico picks up Kidman, but gets an eye rake. Rico manages a spinning back kick anyway, step over heel kick - no, Kidman reverses to an inside cradle and grabs the ropes one two three. (5:47) At least they're not breaking out the SSP for Velocity. Kidman comes back in - clothesline to the back of Rico's head! Maybe I spoke too soon. Kidman drags Rico into the corner. Going up. Patrick trying to warn him not to - and Chavo Guerrero is out to stop him. Wow, when Chavo's saving you, maybe you need to leave. Who was Chavo's friend who convinced him to come back, anyway? Hope it wasn't Rico!

Tonight: Eddie Guerrero vs Danny Basham

Wrangler Jeans Co. presents Orlando Jordan and JBL beating down Booker T

Back to SmackDown!, where we learned Josh has a lot of ugly tattoos. We come in just time for Josh's two moves, and the skip past his beatdown to Booker T getting the hot tag. Josh must've done the editing! You don't beat down Josh on Billocity. So, once again, we've found out Booker T really can beat Orlando Jordan. (1:28)
Survivor Series: JBL (c) vs Booker T for the WWE Title
Survivor Series: Jericho/Benoit (with both belts!)/Maven/Orton vs Batista/Sntisky/Edge/Triple H for Control Of RAW
Survivor Series: Shelton Benjamin (c) vs Christian for the IC Title
Survivor Series: Trish (c) vs Lita for the Women's Title
Survivor Series: Eddie's Guerrero Team (check out the ? man) vs Kurt Angle's Team. Big Show is pushing RVD out of the picture.
Survivor Series: Billy Kidman vs Chavo Guerrero vs Spike DUdley (c) vs Rey Mysterio for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship 
Survivor Series: the Undertaker vs Heidenreich (w/Paul Heyman)
Velocity: Eddie Guerrero vs Danny Basham

The Monster Ultimate Job Experience presents the Dudleys trying, and failing, to take out the Big Show last Thursday

Eddie Guerrero (El Paso, Texas, 228 pounds) vs Danny Basham (Columbus, OH, 245 pounds) - "josh mathews." Circle. "josh mathews. fourth man. eddie, pick josh!" Eddie with a hammerlock, into a snap mare, cover for zero, snap mare, cover for zero, snap mare, cover for zero. Eddie is up, relaxed. Danny not so much. Circle. Lockup, Danny with a headlock, Eddie turns out into a double wristlock, but Danny pulls him down by his hair. Eddie doesn't appreciate that, but Danny pretends to be innocent. Circle. Test of strength 

Bill: "josh mathews." 
Josh: "I know Bill is doing all sorts of [Tough Enough] voting. He loves Dan Rodmier." 
Bill: "I like no one!" 
Josh: "You like me." 
Bill: "josh mathews." 
Josh: "Knock it off!" 
Bill: "survivor series" 
Josh: "You drive me crazy!" 
Bill: "eddie guerrero!" 
Josh: "Test of strength here." 
Bill: "torrie wilson. sex test. billocity. hahaha." 

Anyway, Danny kicks his way out of the hold. Danny off the ropes, over, into an Eddie dropkick. Eddie covers, one two no. Eddie chops, Danny chops, Eddie eye poke. Rake over the top rope. Eddie explains to Brian Hebner he was just cleaning off the top rope. Snap mare. Danny: "Hey ref, watch him! He's coming in!" While Brian goes over to check, Eddie gets in a boot scrape to the face. Sitting on his back chin lock. Danny elbows out. Eddie stop shim with a punch. Whip, backdrop. Bill: "What's your slogan on your t-shirt going to be?" Eddie charges Danny, and takes a backdrop all the way to the floor. Doug walks over, but Brian Hebner catches him. Eddie grabs his knee for the benefit of the camera, and that's good enough for a break. (3:56)

Back. Danny got Eddie in a neck vice. Bill points out Doug has not interfered in this match. Eddie escapes with a chinbreaker, but Danny stops him with a clothesline. Danny sits on top for a cover one two no. Danny kicks Eddie, Eddie punches back, and repeat. Danny wins with knees. Pointed elbow to the head. Corner whip, rebound out into a backdrop. Cover, one two no. "Maybe you'll be on the poster for the next pay per view after Survivor Series?" Kneeling surfboard. Eddie rallying back, feeling the Latino Heat. Elbows out, fireman carry with some trouble, but gets Danny all the way out to the floor. Doug checks on his brother, but gets caught again, and can't get involved. Eddie with an inside cradle, one two no. Danny misses punch, Eddie connects on many, big right to knock him down. Bill: "Do you know how many girls you're going to meet now?" "What do you mean, now?" Whip, reversed, Danny tries a flapjack and ends up taking a dropkick. Bill: "Before now, you just met a lot of...men who like wrestling." "What the hell are you insinuating?" "Maybe now, Lindsay Lohan will actually talk to you!" Eddie tries the suplexes, but Danny blocked. Double choke bomb! One two no! "Better yet, maybe Meredith will actually start talking to you!" "I think you've lost it." A distinct possibility. Danny misses a corner splash on Eddie, and now he can kick and get the Three Amigos. Doug is going crazy. Eddie going up, making sure Doug isn't going after him (he's not), and there's the frog splash. Uno dos tres. (4:21, 8:17 total) Eddie is happy. Doug is beside himself? Danny isn't doing much. Doug going in the ring? Eddie backs away and leaves them be. Bill notes Doug has a microphone! And he's talking to Danny without the microphone. "Real nice Danny, real nice. You just got beat by Eddie Guerrero. You know, geeze, how long do I have to carry you as a tag team partner! You know you're the luckiest man in the world, right?, because I'm your brother. Otherwise you'd be SOL. [Bill: "You know what that means" BAAA BAAA BAAA]" Doug helps Danny up, but Danny doesn't want anything to do with him. Doug yells at him off mic some more. They leave, Doug yelling at Danny, and Danny trying to explain that was just Eddie Guerrero the whole way.

That's it.