TV PG V CC entertainment open no fireworks

Bubba Ray Dudley (New York City, 310 pounds) vs Rico (Las Vegas, NV, 228 pounds) - Since we're still in the UK (the first Velocity ever in the UK! eh), I got a feeling we won't be seeing our announcers, Josh and Bill. Rico takes a moment to kiss a hand of a fan, which annoys Bubba. Speaking of Rico annoying Bubba, we go back to No Mercy, where Rico kissed Bubba. Josh: "Bill, what's it like being kissed by Rico?" "I'm speechless. [slight pause] What the hell do you mean, 'what's it like being kissed by Rico?'" Bill: "Froot booty." Bell rings, but Bubba is too busy yelling at Brian Hebner to notice. Rico cops a feel of Bubba. Bubba turn around and charges into a drop toe hold. Bubba, yelling at Hebner some more: "You don't grab another guy's bum!" Hebner tries to calm down Bubba, and he gets goosed by Rico as well. Lockup, Bubba with a slam. Pose. Circle. Lockup, Bubba with a headlock, shot off, Bubba back with a shoulderblock. Bubba calling Rico a little girl. Lockup. Bill: "Metrosexual." Bubba slam, no, Rico goes behind, double leg takedown, Rico riding around on Bubba's back. Bubba: "What the hell is wrong with you?" Circle. Bubba wants a test of strength. Rico teases and wants the other hand. Bubba reaches up, and Rico switched again, and on and on and on until they're dancing. Rico ducks a clothesline and hits a roundhouse kick, one two no. Right, kick, right, corner whip, reversed, Bubba charges into a back elbow. Bubba grabs his face and backs away, drawing Brian Hebner away, and D-Von proves he's here by tripping up Rico and crotching him in the corner. Bubba with a boot to the back of the head. Headscissors crank. Snap mare. Neck vice. Bill: "Someone needs to tell Rico this is a wrestling match and not a square dance!" Rico elbows out of the hold, off the ropes, sunset flip, Bubba blocks, but Bubba misses the sit down. Bubba with a suplex. One two no. Rico kick, DDT. Both guys down, and Bubba's untying his right wrist tape. Bubba's punch is blocked, Rico's punch hits, right, right, off the ropes, clothesline, clothesline, dropkick, one two no. Superkick, and going up. The High Hard One connects, but D-Von's quickly up on the apron to argue with Brian Hebner. Rico lets go of the pin, goes to D-Von, D-Von swings and misses, and Rico kisses him. D-Von is out of his mind and then dropped when Rico moves and Bubba accidentally clotheslines his partner. Rico inside cradle on the rebound, one two NO. Rico off the ropes, D-Von trips him up again, Rico stumbles up to his feet, and into the Bubba Bomb. One two three. (6:29) I guess either Bubba was going to load his fist (with tape!) or he just wanted the wrist tape out. Turning point is D-Von tripping up Rico. Let's watch Bubba walk away and fix his pants. Yay.

UK Fans (:42)

Tonight: Spike Dudley (c) vs Scotty 2 Hotty for the Cruiserweight Title
Next: Carlito vs Rey

Day of Reckoning presents Rey Mysterio winning the SmackDown! #1 Contender to US Title Battle Royal of Thursday
Rey vs Carlito (3:20) Josh points out Carlito is 2-0

Still To Come: JBL vs Hardcore Holly

Saw presents Heidenreich's apology and non-apology.

Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 257 pounds) vs SmackDown! #1 Announcer Funaki (Japan, 208 pounds) - Bill lets us know this show is called Billocity in the UK. Funaki is apparently loved all over the world, except in Texas. This leads into a discussion about whether Bradshaw likes or dislikes Josh. Funaki gets a FUNAKI chant going. Crowd's a little too hyped. Lockup, Funaki with a waistlock, switch, and Orlando shoves Funaki away. Orlando doesn't want no trouble. Lockup, Funaki backed into the corner, Orlando pats him on the cheek and walks away. "C'mon! He's a little guy." Circle. Lockup, Orlando headlock, elbows by Funaki, Orlando shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, elbow drop and no one's home. Armdrag, armdrag, dropkick and out goes Orlando. Funaki's a little too pumped. Funaki off the ropes, sliding dropkick is side stepped, Orlando's right is blocked, Funaki's is not. Orlando brought back in, Funaki after him, but Orlando stops him with a back elbow. Forearm, whip, head down too soon (and Funaki is slow for some reason), Funaki kicks Orlando. Off the ropes, into a crazy legs dropkick. There was almost some scissoring action on that one. Stomps. Boot choke, using the ropes. If you're going cheat, you might as well go all the way. Funaki trying to climb to his feet, so Orlando helps him up and helps him down. Kick to the ribs. Snap mare, spine kick. Orlando hopping. Jab jab jab shuffle big right. Orlando's happy with all of this. One two no. Snap mare, knee to the back, and a standing neck vice. Josh thinks Funaki might have broken ribs right this very moment, which leads into a discussion about Bill's past rib injuries. Funaki tries to elbow back up, but gets forearmed down. Corner whip, change in but Funaki's moved out of the way - trademark bulldog! One two NO. Funaki jumping angrily, right, right, Orlando stops him with a knee. Jab jab jab shuffle right misses (what's he thinking doing that twice!) Funaki kick catch (more hops than usual because Orlando warns him not to do it) enziguri one two no. Funaki going up, cross body, Orlando rolls thru and pulls the tights, one two NO. Funaki with a kick to the midsection, right, whip, quick reverse to the inverted DDT into a neckbreaker move. One two three. (5:04) Josh seemed surprised that was the finish.

$1,000,000 Tough Enough Video Montage. (1:14)

Tonight: Spike Dudley (c) vs Scotty 2 Hotty for the Cruiserweight Title

JBL vs Hardcore Holly in the 1st Ever Hardcore for the WWE Title (2:58)

Up Next: Luther vs Eddie

SmackDown! Live
10/17 - Rockford, IL
10/18 - Minneapolis, MN [SD!]
10/23 - Ottawa, ON
10/24 - Montreal, QC
10/26 - Omaha, NE [SD!]

Revenge Match (3:27)

Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, ME, 217 pounds) vs Spike Dudley (150 pounds, c) for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship of the WORLD (6th defense) - for whatever reason this week (uh, UK), they seem intent on pointing out it's not just the Cruiserweight championship of Bangor. Your ref is Charles Robinson. Most Disappointing Thing About Velocity in the UK: weights are not announced in Stones. Wait, Spike by himself? Josh is thrilled we might get a one on one match involving Spike. I like Spike's new pants, by the way, not to mention the overgrown goatee. Scotty with his wacky circle strut. Lockup - wait, no. Scotty's got to start the clap. Circle. Lockup, Spike with an armbar, twist, Scotty rolls forward out of it, reverse into an armbar, full nelson, Spike climbs the ropes and leans on the top rope, demanding a break. So Scotty drops him all the way to the mat. Spike's ticked. Spike yelling at Scotty, and lures him into a knee lift. Right. Right. Right. Armbar, into a hammerlock. Scotty looking for a way out, can't find it yet, turning turning turning and sending Spike out of the ring. Spike charges back in, and gets hiptosses. Corner punchers, one two three four five six seven eight nine, off the corner, wait for it, dance move, ten. One two NO. Spike needs a moment to check his face on the outside. Spike spits at Scotty, Scotty comes out, Spike comes in, Scotty comes in and get an axhandle to the back. Jumping knee to the back. Choke on the ropes. Snap mare. Choke. Chinlock. Scotty with elbows to escape, off the ropes, sunset flip one two no. Spike with a turnbuckle smash, right, right, right, right, right, running stomps in the corner. Pose. Snap mare, chinlock. SCOTTY SCOTTY SCOTTY. Scotty rallying back, elbow, elbow, Spike stops him with a forearm to the back. Off the ropes, clothesline misses, Scotty hits the superkick. Both men down. One two three four five six Spike climbs up, Scotty kips up. Spike's punch is blocked, Scotty's is not. Right. Right. Whip, reversed Scotty ducks the clothesline and drops Spike with a back suplex, one two no. Corner whip, reverses, Spike charges into a back elbow. Scotty think it's time. Off the ropes, two handed bulldog is ducked, Spike with a waistlock rollup and grabbing the middle rope one two three (5:42)

That's it.