TV PG V cc entertainment open fireworks 

Spike Dudley (150 pounds) vs Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 207 pounds) - your announcers are Bill and Josh on this 107th Velocity and I have so many questions like "What did Bill do to his hair?" and "Why is Josh wearing a jacket?" that I should just keep to myself. I guess Shannon's a heel this week. For some reason, I find it hard to believe that Shannon has 57 pounds on Spike. Lockup, Spike's new more powerful abs force Shannon into the corner. Clean break. Circle. Lockup, armbar by Shannon. Bill: "Whoever thought it'd come back to Paul Heyman making ultimatums?" Twisting it, but Spike rolls into a reversal, headlock takeover. Back up to their feet, Shannon puts a foot in the back of Spike's knee to escape into an armbar. Into a waistlock, hey back suplex one two no. "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!" Unfortunately for Shannon, the announcers are pushing a new "Spike wrestles into something causes him to snap and brawl" theory, so it's really not about him. Kneeling surfboard. Spike will not give up to the rest hold. Back to his feet, turning, it, right to the head, right, right, corner whip, reverses, Shannon charges in, Spike gets the boot up, Spike charges out, Shannon drops him with a leg lariat. One two no. Reverse neckbreaker. One two no. One two NO. Suplex. Chinlock. Josh: "I'm gonna get a championship, then I'm going get the girls! And then I'm going to get the khakis!" Okay. Bill, oddly being PC, tells Josh they're only "girls" from 8-18. "They weren't in that category. They were...they were...Elderly Women! Not girls. You could get girls. Chavo Classic has mature women." Spike's battling up. Bill: "Oh, so you've never paid a woman?" I'm begging the match to pick up. Shannon stops Spike with a knee. For what it's worth, Josh didn't say "No" and Bill laughs, so we're obviously missing out on a good joke. Shannon with a whip, clothesline misses, Spike's battering ram takes Shannon out of the ring. Josh tries a Bam Magera line again, and again Bill doesn't get it. Hilarity fails to ensue, but a PLANCHA does. Replay, as Spike brings Shannon back in. Shannon tries a kick on Spike, Spike catches it, Shannon hops on his other foot for a bit but doesn't throw the enziguri, Spike spins him around, inverted atomic drop, clothesline one two NO. Bill: "The biggest question in sports entertainment today? Why do you look at the referee when your opponent kicks out at two?" Slam. Going up. Top rope double boot, but Shannon gets his boot up too, catching Spike on the chin. Shannon Northern Lights suplex one two NO. Waistlock is blocked, Spike with a standing switch, Shannon turns around and rams Spike into the corner. Shannon gathers himself and backs up, charging splash but no one's home. Spike grabs him, Dudley Dog. One two three. (4:42) Josh thinks Chavo Classic should be worried.

Tonight: Rico & Charlie Haas (c, w/Miss Jackie) vs Akio & Sakoda for the WWE Tag Team Championship

JBL picks his stipulation. So they're actually doing a four corners touch style match, and Eddie (lies) cheats (steals), isn't the safe money on one of those deals where Bradshaw touches the corners without realizing Eddie is too, and Eddie beats him to the fourth one? Which is a dumb finish for a World Title match so I hope I'm wrong. (3:06)
GAB: Eddie Guerrero (c) vs John Bradshaw Layfield for the WWE Championship in a Texas Bull Rope Match

Still To Come: Booker T vs the Undertaker

N-Gage Prayer of Thursday

Josh says we've got a Velocity Exclusive From SmackDown! 

Hardcore Holly & Billy Gunn (503 pounds) vs the FBI (451 pounds) - Although we get a "Velocity Exclusive From SmackDown!" graphic, it's the usual SmackDown! chyron and your usual announcers: Cole and Tazz, though we don't see them. That means I should be able to take this segment off and someone else comes in here and types, right? No? Oh. Announcers play hot potato on who gets to make up something to say about the faces. Holly and Nunzio to start - no, Nunzio doesn't like this idea, so it'll be Johnny. Since we've gone a couple minutes without talking about Booker T vs Undertaker being later, I think they had Cole and Tazz redo the voice track, which makes you wonder why they didn't just have Bill and Josh do it. Lockup, Johnny with a headlock, shot off, Johnny back with a shoulderblock. Bicep flex, off the ropes, under, into a powerslam, kickout at zero. Johnny back into the corner, Holly kicks him, chop, chop, Nunzio charges into a chop. Johnny makes the mistake of relaxing on the ropes, so Super Low Blow Kick for him. Whip, reversed, Johnny with a slam, Holly lands behind with a waistlock, Johnny rushes to the ropes, and Nunzio decks Holly. Charles Robinson was telling Billy Gunn to stay on the tag ropes. Big spinebuster by Johnny. Tag to Nunzio, punches to the head by Nunzio. Kick to the back. Forearm to the back. Forearm to the back. Choke. One two no. Tazz says Queens is full of royalty (I think that's what he meant) and Nunzio's from North Brooklyn, which isn't as tough as South Brooklyn. Tag to to Johnny, Nunzio lifts up Holly's arm so so Johnny can punch his side. Forearm to the back. Holly battles back with punches. Whip, reversed, into a Johnny press slam. One two no and then Billy breaks it up way later. Announcers debate if Billy's won the tag titles 10 or 5.2 million times. Johnny with a chinlock on Holly. Holy getting up, armdrag takedown, but Johnny gets up and clothesline shim back down. Tag to Nunzio. Whip, double head down too soon, Holly kicks Nunzio over, but Johnny punches him anyway. Whip, reversed, there'd the dropkick. Can he make the tag? Gunn trying to get the tag and fire up the crowd. Crowd quiet. Tazz: "Referee Charles Robinson, if that is his real name, also is a very shady looking blond individual, I have to point out." Tazz's mind wanders when he has nothing to hype. Tag to Gunn. Right for Nunzio, right for Johnny, right for Nunzio, right for Johnny, Whip for Nunzio, backdrop. Kick, fameasser for Johnny, Billy too hyped about the height he got on that one to cover. Nunzio tries to flee for safety, but Billy grabs him and feeds him to Holly. Powerbomb/Diamond Cutter combo, one two three (4:16) Tazz and Cole seem oblivious to any name being attached to that move, so maybe someone rethought wacky move names. This match probably should've been on Velocity to begin with.

SmackDown! Live
06/08 - Long Island, NY [SD!]
06/13 - St. Louis, MO [SmackDown and Red, White and Bruised Tour]
06/14 - Springfield, IL [SmackDown and Red, White and Bruised Tour]
06/15 - Chicago, IL [SD!]
06/22 - Orlando, FL [SmackDown and Red, White and Bruised Tour]

"Reflection of Perfection" Mark Jindrak (Atlanta, GA, 263 pounds, w/Theodore R. Long) vs thug life Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds) - The cape is now "the Cape of Conceit." I think I was supposed to call the mirror "Adacus" but my education has completely failed me here. Teddy thinks we're familiar with the line by now! Theodore wants a sneak peak inside the cape, ew. This gimmick makes Rico seem straight, you know? "Let the mirror tell you what it's all abut." Long line of the week: "He looks so good, he makes you want to slap your momma." Bill points out that Jindrak is everything Mordecai hates, which is a scary direction to be hinting at. 

Josh: "Theodore Long is more in love with Mark Jindrak then you are with me, Bill!" 
Bill: "What? I'll slap your momma! [pause] It's the hair, isn't it?"
Josh: "Who's hair?"
Bill: "C'mon-"
Josh: "What about your hair?"
Bill: "You find me attractive with the hair style!"
Josh: "I do not find you attractive!"
Bill: "Well then you better change the subject"

Circle. Lockup, Billy thrown down. Mark explains how perfect he is to everyone. Free shot to the abs time. Billy loads up, and gives Jindrak a slap on the chest. That hurts, forearm to the head, slap to the back, more forearms. Corner whip, Kidman follows in for some corner punches, one two three four five six and shoved away. Kidman charges back at him, Jindrak flips him to the apron, left hand punch of stone. Jindrak goes to the floor to collect Kidman and bring him in for stomping. Jindrak is upset about his chest being slapped like that. Suplex. One two no. Face smushed into the mat. One two no. Chinlock. Kidman battles up with elbows, Jindrak forearms him in the back. Dropkick, push ups, sit ups, kip up. And Kidman dropkicks him. Jindrak misses a clothesline, Kidman does not miss a fivearm. Clothesline, kick, corner whip, reversed, Jindrak charges into a boot. Kidman to the second rope, missile dropkick one two no. Kick, whip, reversed, Jindrak puts his head down too soon and Kidman kicks it. Kidman charges and takes a back elbow. Jindrak hops to the top rope and back with a top rope clothesline, one two NO. Slam, no Kidman slips free, kick catch enziguri. Kidman dragging Jindrak into the corner, but now Theodore Long's on the apron and Kidman's distracted by him. Back to Jindrak, but Jindrak grabs him - Kidman slips out of the back suplex before Jindrak can plant him, kick, springboard bulldog is countered into the Mark of Excellence one two three (3:07) The Turning Point is of course Long distracting Kidman.

Next: Booker T vs Undertaker

We skip to the end of the match, as best to highlight Heyman and the Dudleyz' involvement. And Booker T's voodoo powers to vanish with a simple camera angle switch. (3:58)

Tonight: Rico & Charlie Haas (c, w/Miss Jackie) vs Akio & Sakoda for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Maxim Eddie win of Thursday

Rico & Charlie Haas (469 pounds, w/Miss Jackie, c) vs Akio & Sakoda (437 pounds) - Charlie gives a lot of through to going on the runway. He's going up. He's he's stopping from putting his foot on the top. Josh: "Do Rico and Miss Jackie have the same gear?" Bill's mind goes straight to the double meaning. Haas gets the naval kiss without any shenanigans. Akio and Sakoda are getting this title match by virtue of their ability to buy wrestling pants! They don't use the runway. Josh says Akio walks down a lot of runways because he's a movie star in Korea and Bill has many logical issues with that. "The Rock never walked down a runway!" "You don't know that." "I do!" Rico and Charlie are both wearing blue, although vastly different shades (Charlie: aquamarine, Rico: royal) 

Josh: "And Bill, you mentioned to me before that Charlie and Rico would be wearing similar colors. And they are! That's very metrosexual of you to know that." 
Bill (defensive): "I didn't mean that in that way! I just meant as a tag team unit"
Josh: "Bill, you just said 'unit'!"
Bill: "No, I said 'tag team'"
Josh: "And hey, Sakoda and Akio are wearing the same colors too, black and red"
Bill: "What are you getting at? There's a theme to this whole conversation that I don't like."
Josh: "I'm just saying you're in touch...with your metro sexual side."
Bill: "I haven't touched anything. Right now Charlie Haas is working on the left arm of Sakoda. That's the end of it!"
Josh: "That's the first action you've called in six months!"
Bill: "That's the first action I've had in six months."
Josh: "And Rico just slapped Sakoda on the bootie!"
Bill: "On the what?"
Josh: "Ahahahaha" 

Next floor show at 8! Enjoy the veal.

Anyway, the match. Sakoda and Charlie to start. Circle. Lockup, Haas with a headlock, shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, Sakoda's attempt at a hiptoss is turned into an armdrag, armdrag, armbar. Haas is awful ecstatic to be armdragging Sakoda. Sakoda into the ropes for a break, but Rico slips in the previously mentioned slap to the bootie. Haas is happy it didn't happen to him, and ends up getting slapped for it. Haas responds with a dropkick, and this time Jackie slaps Sakoda in the bootie. Sakoda is very angry when he thinks Rico did it, and less so when he thinks Jackie did it. Sakoda asks Haas to take a step back so he can converse with Jackie. Wait, no, so he can have Jackie rub his bootie. Rico and Jackie make the switch, and Sakoda is slow to figure things out. Bill: "What does this have to do with wrestling?" Sakoda turns around to yell at Rico and Haas sneaks in an inside cradle one two NO. So all the gay fun was for naught. Flapjack. Haas asks us if we want Rico. People seem okay with the idea. Tag to Rico, so he can ride Sakoda. Sakoda crawls over to makes a tag to Akio, who charges into a drop toe hold, and now he's riding Akio. Bill: "All my years in wrestling, this was not how we were taught to ride an opponent." Akio escapes and tries a clothesline, but Rico ducks and gives him an atomic drop. Tag to Haas. Double whip, double hiptoss. Haas WOOOs and covers, one two Sakoda breaks it up, and Haas forearms Sakoda out. Haas has a few parting words for him, and so gets ambushed by Akio's jumping spin kick. One two no. One two no. Stomp. Stomp. Whip, sleeper as the crowd chants for Charlie. Charlie elbow s out rather quick, corner whip, charge into a back elbow. Akio hooks on his hanging headscissors choke for a four count. "Rainbow" joke appears to go over Bill's head. Akio covers, one two no. Tag to Sakoda. Haas is loaded in the Tree of Woe so Sakoda can do some kickery, and then distract so Akio can do some chokery. Bill remembers that Heyman was drafted by RAW! Sakoda covers, one two no. Sakoda with a neck vice. Haas elbows out, back suplex. Both crawling for a tag, tag to Akio, tag to Rico. Rico clothesline, clothesline, high kick to Sakoda, backdrop for Akio. Standing spin kick to the midsection for Sakoda, pumphandle fun by Rico, but Akio breaks that up with a kick. Double kick to the head, Sakoda with one to the back and Akio hits the one to front. Akio covers, one two NO. Akio with a kick, whip, Haas slips in a blind tag, Akio puts his head down too soon, Rico kicks him, Akio tries a clothesline, Rico ducks and kisses, Haas adds the German suplex one two three (5:02) Rico kicked Sakoda away at the end there too. "Akio lost to a kiss!" I wonder if we should note Charlie and Jackie celebrating a lot together and away from Rico? Hmmm.

SmackDown: Undertaker's decision.
That's it.