TV 14 DLV CC entertainment open

thug life Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds) vs Sakoda (233 pounds) - your announcers are Bill and Josh. Bill's shirt is hypnotic. Back to Last Thursday, where Rey beat Akio despite Sakoda. Which really has little to do with the match, but it's a nice thought. Circle. Lockup, Kidman ducks under to a waistlock, switch, Kidman breaks out of it with back elbows. Off the ropes, Sakoda hiptoss reversed into a monkey flip! Wow, a new Kidman spot! Whip, Sakoda grabs the ropes and holds on, Kidman charges and slides, Sakoda starts as if he's ready to backdrop Kidman out before realizing Kidman's is actually sliding and lifting a leg so Kidman can go under him, but now Sakoda doesn't know where Kidman is and Kidman trips him up. Kidman up on the apron, slingshot headscissors looks rough, Sakoda rolls out. DeMott pegs Kidman as a future #1 contender, sure. Kidman pulls Sakoda up to the apron, but Sakoda snaps Kidman's arm over the top rope and drops to the floor. Sakoda back in and working to the arm. Hammerlock around the middle rope. Another arm wrench over the to rope. Kick to the arm. Kick to the arm. Kneeling armbar. Big Show is 7'4" now? Must've had another growth spurt. Kidman trying to rally out but crowd not really into it. Knee. Knee. Now they're into it a little. Knee out, off the ropes, kick to the midsection. Kidman is a one armed man, and it taunts him on the BK Bomb, because Sakoda is easily able to get free and start hammering the bad shoulder again. Kidman run into the corner shoulder first, one two no. Stomp to the left shoulder. Kneeling armbar. Kidman trying to rally back again, and crowd more with him this time. So Sakoda hammers him down. Off the ropes, right into a Kidman dropkick. Both are down and slow to follow up -  here's a (not-mentioned but there's the logo) PS2 replay of the dropkick. Both up - Sakoda tries punches, but Kidman stops him short with kicks. Sakoda tries a clothesline, ducked, Kidman jumping forearm, clothesline, springboard bulldog. One two NO. Corner whip, short reverse into an armbar takedown! One two NO. I'm begging Sakoda to put a submission on that arm now. Slam? NO, Kidman lands behind, kick to the midsection, charge into a boot. Sakoda to the second rope, somersault into an armdrag into a cross armbreaker! Josh calls it a Fujiwara armbar because no one's taught him about armbars yet. This should be a tap but sometimes this show really lets me down and it's just a battle to the ropes. What's the point in doing body part damage matches if the body part never matters in the result? Sakoda pulling Kidman back towards the middle by the leg so Kidman can kick him. Well, the kip up he does before the enziguri is impressive, I'll give it that. Close enough to position? Kidman does move Sakoda over a little bit, up top, Shooting Star Press (5:54) So we've learned today that working over a body part for 4 minutes is absolutely of no importance, no matter how much Bill loves it. That's great. Don't listen to me, this wasn't bad. Yay, turning point is now so I don't have to see it later. Bill thinks Kidman getting his foot on the ropes to break the cross armbreaker was a big thing. Actually, the whole last half minute of the match was a Point, I guess.

Still to come: Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin vs Spanky and Paul London. oooooo.
Up Next: Shannon Moore vs Matt Morgan. booooooo

Torque Rey Mysterio save of Nidia, which Jamie Noble doesn't approve of Thursday. Hey Josh, you ever think that maybe Tajiri was helping? He could've kicked the sight back into her.

Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 209 pounds) vs Matt Morgan (Fairfield, CT, 340 pounds) - They did change Shannon's video, that sucks. It makes sense, but it's so sad. Shannon evaluates the situation, and decides that a kick to the gut and running for his life is the best plan. Morgan out, Shannon in, Morgan in, Shannon out, Shannon tries a tripe but that's not going to work. Matt pulls him up to to the apron, Shannon tries the stunner over the top rope, but Matt's still on his feet. He grabs Shannon again as he stands up, and Shannon is able to kick him away, but again Matt is only momentary phased, and this time Morgan throws Shannon hard off the apron into the ring barrier. Morgan out to press Shannon throws the ropes and into the ring. Headbutt. Corner whip, Shannon goes down. Boot choke. Back breaker. Straight jacket chinlock. Bill guesses that if Nidia has won that match, she would have been #1 contender. Mat with a corner whip, Shannon goes in chest first, and this time Matt hits the gut buster I think he was trying for preciously. Standing on his chest. No one's mentioned it so far, but it seems as though Shannon's ribs are going to be a continuing point of emphases. Shannon trying to fight to his feet, but takes a facecrusher and that' s done with. Bearhug. Matt is tossing him around in the bearhug for no reason. Josh gets so bored with Bill's heel act, he starts ignoring him. Just like me! Bill only calls Josh on it. Meanwhile, Shannon battles out of the bearhug but a knee to the midsection. Shannon's wrist tape says "Moore" now, in case you were wondering. Corner whip, Matt misses the corner clothesline when Shannon dusk out of the corner, Shannon kick, right, right, Matt with a knee. Corner whip, Shannon tries the WOW crossbody but he's caught and dropped on the top rope. Matt tries another charge, but Shannon moves and Morgan posts himself. Inside cradle with pulled tights one two NO. Matt misses a right hand that would have killed Shannon, Shannon goes to the corner, Matt charges into double boots. Shannon to the top - Halo! One two NO! Dropkick to the face. At this time, I'd like to apologize for whining about how little talk the Cruiserweight title change got last week, because Bill won't stop yipping about how right Jamie was this week and how wrong Nidia was and how fair Paul was and SHUT UP ALREADY I DON'T CARE. Matt with a big boot as Shannon charges at him. Chokelift into a - well, an opportunity for Shannon to act like he's going to do a 'rana, but really so Matt can do the sit down powerbomb. One two three. (5:33) Josh: "Matt Morgan, call him the Blueprint, call him whatever you want". That took longer than I though it would.

Tonight: Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin vs Spanky and Paul London. oooooo.
Up Next: Would Eddie shake that hand?

You can tell the voiceover chick doesn't even buy the "one of the Hottest New CDs of 2004" line.

Two Weeks ago, in moving pictures. (1:42)
And then, Kurt tries to patch up things this week. And a match that doesn't turn out well. Over. (7:59)

Tonight: Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin vs Spanky and Paul London. oooooo.

SmackDown!
01/11 - Cadillac, MI
01/12 - Saginaw, MI
01/13 - Uncasville, CT [SD!]
01/19 - Duluth, MN
01/20 - Minneapolis, MN [SD!]

XL-PR1 Benoit wins the non-Royal Rumble of Last Thursday

Rhyno (Detroit, MI, 275 pounds) vs Funaki (Japan, 208 pounds) - Bill: "What do you think would've happened if Rhyno joined the FBI....against Benoit?" He should've stuck with his initial thought. Bill: "So now you have to be Italian to be in the Royal Rumble?" ANYWAY, it's like I just did this match. Rhyno does more heel stalling, though. And a bodyscissors as a chinlock, that's new. There's the bulldog. Bill actually proposes the "Kurt is trying to get Eddie out of the Rumble so it's one less to worry about). He follows that up by saying that Los Guerreros aren't American, so he's in no danger being right and/or interesting consistently. Josh: "I'm not ignoring you on purpose, Bill." LIAR. Even Funaki gets to sidestep the first Gore attempt nowadays. Rising Sun is pushed off, and we do missed clothesline spots until Rhyno hits the spinebuster (Josh: "Concrete Crunch" !!!!!!) This time for real. Gore. One two three. (5:01)

Up Next, Street Fight.

Cleaning out the garbage can. They're not building up a DQ finish at the Rumble, are they? That'd be something. NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO THAT TO ME AT THE RUMBLE. (2:52)

Royal Rumble: Brock Lesnar (c) vs Hardcore Holly for the WWE Title (not a street fight)
"Nothing Left To Lose" by Puddle of Mudd is the Official theme song of the Rumble

Subway WM Rewind: TLC sings, LT vs Bam Bam.

Self Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team (489 pounds) vs Spanky and Paul London (393 pounds) - Slide in? Yes. Josh loves their music. Josh: "Do you realize that Royal Rumble match itself is going to be longer than Britney Spears' marriage?" Bill: "Who?" "Never mind. Sorry, I know it's Elvis Presley's birthday this week and I know you're all excited." "There you go." "Guy's been dead for 4fourty five years, I'm talking about Britney Spears, who got married last week and you ask me who. Nice." "Who she married?" "Some guy." "The guy from Seinfeld! I know, I watch TV!" This goes on. In the match, Shelton and Paul start, though Shelton is not so impressed about Paul London. Lockup? Sure, as long as Shelton can get in a knee. Forearm, knee, knee, thrown down by his hair. London picked up by his hair so Shelton can talk trash to him, but London is aware enough to stomp on Shelton's foot to get loose, big dropkick. Crucifix rollup one two no. Paul with a kick, reversed into a nice powerslam. Josh thinks exploder, and there was some weird motion to it so it could've started that way but I suppose it don't matter. Cover, one two no. Shelton has a handful of hair and reaches out of the the tag, but he's still a little short. London fights back with forearms before Shelton can get to the corner. Shelton stops that with a knee, headlock, shot off by London, Haas makes the blind tag, London misses a clothesline and Haas knees London from behind. Haas is thrilled with himself. Stomp. Standing top wristlock. London getting back up to his feet, punching, grabbing the ropes to flip out of that into a armdrag. Normal armdrag, armbar on. Haas trying to stand up from it, so London backs into his corner for the tag. Double whip, double hiptoss, elbow/fistdrop combo, Spanky covers one two no. Haas up first and kneeing. Corner whip, Pres slam on the rebound but Spanky slips behind, inside cradle one two no. Haas misses the clothesline, Spanky with forearms, whip, reversed, slide under Haas and up to hit a dropkick. Haas tops him again with a knee and Spanky's thrown out through the ropes. Shelton drops to the floor to take him out, but Spanky meets him with a forearm and climbs back up to the apron. Shoulder for Haas, slingshot sunset flip for Haas, Haas blocks it long enough tag to Benjamin, so Spanky's got a cradle on the illegal man, and Shelton can come into break it up. Slam by Shelton, tag to Haas. Almost tag to Patrick if he wouldn't get out of the way. Double backbreaker, nice one two London breaks it up. Haas with forearms, and now an abdominal stretch. Elbow to the midsection for a moment to grind it in. Crowd rallying for Spanky. Wow, we never get the crane shot on this show. Must have a decent crowd! Spanky fights it with elbows, and now reverse to his own abdominal stretch. Haas managed to make at again the process, and Shelton is in to break it up again. Shelton applying a straight jacket - whoa, straight jacket tapita! That's one of those Mexican Surfboard type things, you know? London also thinks it's Death, so he runs into to break it up with a dropkick again. Patrick warns him as Shelton and Haas make the non tag switch. Haas with a modified Dragon Sleeper, trapping Spanky's right in the hold as well. Spanky manages to kick he is way out, but still can't make the tag. Has can, and Shelton back in. Stomp. Whip (looked like London might have made the blind tag their but it's ignored), Spanky short reverses it to a big boot but collapses in the process. Both getting back up, Spanky on the wrong side of the ring. Charge, rolling under a Shelton clothesline, tag to London. London ducks under a clothesline, fivearm. Haas and London kinda sorta collide (which looks neat, if messed up), and London lands the spinning leg lariat more effectively on Shelton. London misses a clothesline on Haas, Haas ducks and tries a back suplex, London lands on his feet, Dropsault for Haas. 'rana for Shelton, no hold for cradle but covering one two no. London with a whip for Benjamin, corner whip, reversed, London kips to the apron and snaps Shelton's neck over the top rope. Slingshot into a Quebrada one two Haas breaks it up. Haas drops London chest first on the top rope, and he and Shelton hit the Broken Arrow one two Spanky breaks it up! Haas was too busy celebrating to notice, but now he's on Spanky with kicks and forearm. Shelton rolls out, so London is free to forearm Haas in the back to help his partner out. Double whip, double clothesline is ducked, Shelton pulls Spanky out, Haas tries a kick for London, London catches it, drops it, ducks the clothesline but takes an inverted atomic drop anyway. Shelton in, there's the superkick. One two three (6:28) That was fun. Did Bill just do the Hugh Morrus laugh? I'm confused, but not as much as Josh is.

Hmm, everything over 5 minutes - even the probably should've been shorter Morgan/Moore match. I wonder if that was a resolution?

I didn't mention this then, but somewhere up there Josh was pretty sure they'd try Tajiri vs Noble for #1 Contendership again on SmackDown!, so I think you start penciling a title match for the Rumble. We'll see.