TV 14 DLV cc entertainment open Torrie/Dawn video package, from pre-Rumble (2:20) open (it only took 10 days for Hogan to get back in) fireworks

TONIGHT: Torrie Wilson vs Dawn Marie - but now

Jamie Noble (Hanover, WV, 200 pounds, w/Nidia) vs Mike Bucci (205 pounds, already in the ring) vs Earlier Today - THREE WAY DANCE

SmackDown #1 Announcer Funaki interviewed Nidia. Well, sorta. "I'm here with the lovely Nidia." "Hi Funaki." "Hi Nidia - you look very nice, nice." "Funaki, see something you like?" "Yes - yes." "Hey, what's going on here boy - hey baby - you like looking at my girl, Funaki? You like these? Let me help you out, Funaki. Take a look at this, huh? You like that, boy? Go ahead and get you a little touch. Yea yea go ahead - [Funaki reaches - Noble grabs his hand away] Right here is where you he better be looking, all right. You see this look, Funaki? I ever catch you eying my girl again, you're going to find out what this look means." Gee, it seems not long ago that Noble was giving free touches to anyone - must be NUNZIO'S influence. We can only ponder what question Funaki meant to ask Nidia.

Jamie Noble vs Mike Bucci - Josh: "Hey, I think you and Funaki have the same voice coach." Funaki remembers his lines better, tho'. Circle. Lockup. Josh works in Jamie By God Noble. Armbar by Noble. 

Digression: Josh wins my admiration by wondering if Bucci (who is a slightly small and blond) might be the guy we keep seeing in the mask each week. I mean, not only does that show that sometime in the last week Josh put it together and realized the guy in the mask and pajama pants each week was the same guy, but the mystery of who that person might be actually weighs on his mind, like he really wants to figure this out. The C-level Velocity-exclusive storyline that I kinda figured was dropped on Thursday still MEANS SOMETHING TO HIM. Maybe I'm not doing a good job of explaining how awesome that is (every time I bring it up about some announcer type), but let me assure you, it is very awesome. For all his faults (and they are there, even if I don't spend as much time mentioning 'em), Josh Matthews is my favorite announcer because he comes across as actually caring about this stuff as much as a person at home - as much as ME when I actually can find something to care. He does his homework, he takes care of the details, he puts up with the Cat - what's not to love?

Next time he calls a drop toe hold "a step toe hold" I take all of this back, of course. Back to the match:

Bucci rolls into a reverse of the armbar as Josh and Cat decide that Bucci is a little bigger than the masked guy, and no pajama pants. Also a different hairstyle. Bucci with a wristlock, Noble tries to roll and reverse, but Bucci rolls with him. Noble tries to Russian Legsweep out of it but he's pushed down. Noble manages to kip up and use the momentum to reverse to a hammerlock, though.  Bucci reverses to his own and pins Noble to the mat, rolling over his back and extending the arm for pressure. Bucci with an armbar, Noble wit ha knee lift. Whip on Bucci, Bucci goes over and into a kneelift. Adjusts his elbow pad, then covers one two kickout. Whip, hiptoss is blocked, Bucci hits his own. Scoop and a slam. Off the ropes, back elbow. Whip, Nidia trips Noble and pulls him out. Odd - Bucci responds by hitting a nice baseball dropkick to Noble's back, knocking him hard into the barricade. "C'mon Ho!" Cat: "What did he call her?" "A garden tool of some sort. Bucci throws Jamie in and goes for a slingshot move, but Nidia grabs the leg and Noble shoulderblocks him. Noble ties him in the bottom rope for stomps to the neck. Second rope guillotine legdrop. One two NO. Reverse neckbreaker. One two no. One two no. Chinlock. That must be some good gum. Bucci back to his feet but not getting free - ah, an inverted atomic drop will do it. Off the re ropes, nice big boot to the head. Bucci with a left knee, right knee, left knee, right knee, jumping corner left knee. Setting up for something as Nobel gets back up - jumping enziguri one two NO. Corner whip, Bucci charges in but Noble takes him down with a drop toe hold into the middle turnbuckle. Exploder one two NO. Exploder - no, it's blocked, but Noble works over the back with forearms. German - no, Bucci with a bodyscissors cradle one two no. Noble back up first, kick, forearm to the neck, forearm, off the ropes, swinging - no Bucci spins and tries a backslide but Noble gets free, double underhook swinging neckbreaker (ah, I get the difference now!) is the Sling Blade one two three (4:46) Noble and Nidia celebrate. Josh: "I'm sure there's enough of Nidia to go around for everyone."

Later: Torrie vs Dawn! Now: Cat reads a line he was fed really obviously!

Still to come: the Rock returns!

SmackDown! Live
Monday - White Plains, NY
Tuesday - Philadelphia, PA [SmackDown!] - the accompanying shot of Hogan ripping his shirt from two SmackDown's ago make him look so incredibly old I can't help but mention it. 
Next Sunday - Boise, OH
Next Monday - Davis, CA
Next Sunday - Bakersfield, CA [SmackDown!]

Chuck Palumbo (280 pounds) vs Nunzio (Queen, NY, 201 pounds) - Cat says "Snickers" so it sounds like "Sneakers". Lockup. Chuck pushes Nunzio in the corner, Nunzio turns it around, Chuck pushes him down. Slap. Forearm to the back. Nunzio ahs no chance, according to the announcers. Nunzio off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, dropkick to the knee, dropkick to the knee, slinger leg takedown, punches to the head. Chuck pushes him off, Nunzio off the ropes and Chuck throw shim out. Chuck brings him back in - Nunzio with a kick, Chuck catches it and clotheslines him. Stomp. Dangerous corner powerbomb is well short of the corner this week and Nunzio leg awkwardly hits the bottom rope on the way down -  Chuck flattens him with a big boot. One two no. Chuck picks up Nunzio and runs him back first in the corner. Shoulders in the corner. Right right. Nunzio sneaks in a right, tries crawling through Chuck's legs for a bit but ends up walking into the overhead belly to belly suplex. Slam. Off the ropes, elbow drop. Cat is actually saying Nunzio doesn't have a chance. One two kickout. Chuck with a right, discus right get the double boot. Nunzio goes to the second rope as Chuck loads up again - Nunzio jumps right into the discus punch one two NO. Corner whip, Nunzio goes to the second rope and tries to dropkick Chuck as he comes in, but the dropkick is awkward and Nunzio nearly lands right on his head. Nunzio charges Chuck, Chuck catches him but Nunzio hits a big spinning DDT one two Chuck has an arm on the ropes. Chuck with an eye poke, telling Choida to get out of his way, Nunzio's thrown in the corner, Chuck charges in, Nunzio kip up and over, inside cradle one two three. (3:29) Chuck complains to Choida, wondering where his help would be? Josh: "I have no idea what the Cat just said." If my TV card was still working, I'd save that soundbite forever and ever. Chuck - stops Nunzio as he's leaving. Nunzio is ready to throw a punch, but Chuck just says good job, I guess. Okay, whatever. 

How We Got Here: Torrie and Dawn in a hotel room. This is more than they showed on free-TV previously - I didn't see the PPV, but I assume this is just all of what was seen there. (:44)

SmackDown #1 Contenders Match (3:17) Team Angle vs Los Guerreros, this Thursday.

Later: Torrie Wilson vs Dawn Marie. Cat reads his line with all the passion of a dead fish.

JVC Eddie beats Cena

WWE Tag Team Champion Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 213 pounds) vs Red Dog (265 pounds) - No seconds for either person, though Chavo has his new shirt. No funky spelling? Odd. Cat barks during Red Dog's entrance, and I wish he'd stop. Lockup - no, Chavo ducks and Cat is in left field. Chavo ends up knocking Dog into the ropes, then hitting a forearm and  a pair of European uppercuts. Shoulders in the corner. European uppercut. Turnbuckle smash - no, blocked and Red Dog with an elbow. Charge, drop toe hold (stop calling it a step toe hold Josh) into the middle rope but Red Dog misses the landing slightly and ends up just scraping his face on the ropes. Back suplex. One two NO. Off the ropes, shoulderblock by Chavo actually works one two no. Announcers aren't making the same big deal bout the size difference as they did in the last match so far. Forearms by Chavo. Corner whip, charge into a boot, no Chavo catches it, throws it down, Dog charges out with a clothesline, Chavo ducks it and gets a waistlock, and Dog runs him back first into the corner. Stomping. Whip, powerslam one two no. Stop barking Cat. Stomp. Elbow drop. Josh: "Red Dog of course trained by the late Junk Yard Dog - I wonder if they're related, they have the same last name, Dog." Bearhug. Cat: "Kid, my producer told me to call you an idiot." "They have the same last name!" Anyway, as Josh mentions Chavo's victory over Funaki last week, Cat starts singing to himself. Some how this gets into a discussion about Nat King Cole - Josh: "I know Nat King Cole." "No you don't, don't even try it." "He's got a daughter." "What's the daughter's name?" "I have no idea." "Michael Cole hahahaha" Anyway, corner whip, corner clothesline. Dog with another corner charge, but runs into a knee. Chavo to the second rope - misled dropkick hits. Both men down. Josh lets us know that Cat's wanted to work that joke in for a month. Dog with a right, Chavo blocks and hits his own. Right. European uppercut. Whip, dropkick connects. Off the ropes, dropkick to the head. One two NO. Dog up with a clothesline but, Chavo ducks it, hooks the arm and hits a DDT one two NO. Chavo with a kick, right, brainbuster no I don't think so, Dog escapes and goes for a clothesline, Chavo ducks and hits a knee, going for a powerbomb (this probably wasn't the best sequence for Josh and Cat to talk about Chavo being a great ring technician, you think?), Dog backdrops and stays bridged over for a pin while grabbing Chavo's arms, I guess. One two three. (3:29) That looks less that convincing, to be generous. Chavo doesn't like that much - kick, stomp, STF is now the Lowrider. John Cena is in to break it up, but Eddie Guerrero is not far behind - right hands to Cena, kick, right, right, calling Chavo over to clothesline him up. Eddie waits for Dog to get up, kick and they both pounds him out of the ring. Guerreros celebrate holding the ring. Play Eddie's music. I guess it isn't over between these four?

Backstage, Dawn Marie loosens up. Wedding recap (:20)

Starburst challenge for match I have no interest in of 2 Weeks Ago

Your announcers are the Cat and Josh, who recap that and send us to Vince's speech on SmackDown. (9:22) Just using stills from their most recent interviews for this graphic is awful weak. 

Backstage, Torrie is walking to the ring.

Funeral footage. (:29)

Dawn Marie (Wilson) vs Torrie Wilson - the graphics, here and all night, have just said Dawn Marie, but Chimel adds on the Wilson. Torrie is SO ANGRY, she takes out time to pose on the apron - and gets shoved off to the floor. Dawn gives her a smash into the apron and throws her in. Jumping axhandle to the back. Kick to the ribs. Knee choke on the bottom rope. Choke on the middle rope. Dawn's really showing her move set here. Slam, one two no. Corner whip, charging into a boot, Torrie charges into a clothesline. Here's that "standing on her hair and and pulling her up by her arms" spot that never looks like anything more than an excuse for Torrie to arch her back. Twice. Torrie kicks her lamely on the third time. Headscissors from the mat is actually good, though. Spear, and now Torrie is using right hands in the general vacantly of Dawn's head. "Stiff right heads to the side of the head!" "Hahahaha" Hair beal. Hair beal. Dawn begs off. Torrie - dropkicks her. One two no Dawn gets an arm on the ropes. Torrie jumps into a rope gutbuster (Dawn theoretically lifted her.) Dawn with a "kick" to the midsection, inverted atomic drop, low blow headbutt. One two no. Cat asks for an instant replay. Torrie chant. Corner whip, Dawn charges in with shoulder and a boot. Turnbuckle smash, corner kicks. Corner whip, Dawn charges in, Torrie kips up, passé, inside cradle one two no. Clothesline are low but they are two. Kick, snap suplex. One two no. Whip, reversed, Dawn puts her head down too soon and gets it kicked, swinging neckbreaker one two NO! That's her move! Torrie with chops. Slam - no Dawn is able to counter into a roll up one two no.  Torrie with a "kick", DDT one two three. (4:03) Cat wants a replay of the whole match - or at least a tape to take with him.

Confidential is next.