This is how late? And no one cares? Alright!

Not that it matters any, but here's the difference:

Season 1: Josh is talented physically, but small and not great on interviews. Chris No. has got a persona down (on purpose?) but isn't as good in the ring, and also we don't like him and hopes he dies. Maven is the Natural. Nidia and Taylor are kinda close, but most scorecards have Taylor ahead on good attitude and being not as annoying.

Season 2: Everyone is super and has no real faults, though they really don't talk about that Linda much so she's probably not any good, and we like Jackie because she's tough and if she'll do what she did in that hot tub with PETE, we all have a shot.

TV PG L open - various clips and various things we'll see later so why bother recapping them now. And now let's combine the openings for both shows.

Your hosts are Michael Cole and Brian McFayden. You know that episode of the Simpsons, where Shelbyville steals the lemon tree, causing Bart and his friends to go into Shelbyville to try and steal it back? This moment is like when Milhouse meets the other Milhouse. They're even dressed the same. It's kinda creepy. Anyway, we've got people from both seasons, trainers, unseen footage and the usual bad MTV wrestling lines. Michael introduces everyone - the non-winners from Tough Enough 1: Taylor, Shadrick, Jason, Greg, Josh, CK, Victoria, "Chris Harvard", Darryl, and Paulina. And Season 2: Jessie, Hawk, Annie, Danny, Robert, Kenny, Alicia, Pete, Jake, Matt, and Aaron. Cole congratulates them for smiling when their name is read, I guess. As for trainers, we've got Big, Ivory, Al Snow, Hardcore "Bob" Holly and Tazz. Also the champions: Maven, Nidia, Linda and Jackie. 

Brian wastes no time in going after exposed nerves (this was taped either the day after the TE2 finale) by asking Kenny and Jake how it felt to lose to "girls, um, I mean women." Kenny makes a move like he's going to rush Brian, which would make this show for me, but he's just a pretender. Jake (I guess I should note here before we get going that every camera cut they make's it feel like something was clipped out) says he's extremely proud of Jake and Linda, but he did expect one girl and one guy. Cole asks Jackie if she thought she still had a chance when Linda got picked - Jackie says she still believed, and was the one person who actually knew the rules. Kenny says it was kind of a shock, but it's not over for him. Linda's asked how she felt when her name was announced - she says she almost knocked over her mom's boyfriend in her hurry to get to the stage (before they changed their mind?) and was shocked but happy and overwhelmed.

Brian says they all haven't seen each other in a long time - is their anything they want to get off their chest? Alicia takes the initiative, bringing up her argument with Jessie, and Jessie saying in a Confessional that she wanted to slap Alicia. "Well, why don't you slap me now if you're so dead set on it?" Everyone who's not Jessie is amused by this. Jessie tells "AJ" that she needs to learn how to grow up, while shockingly, Alicia thinks the same thing about Jessie. Jessie talks about everyone getting along last night at the World, and Alicia interrupts to say that's only because she wasn't there. (I was right! Go me!) Jessie talks about it being a show and a competition, which I think means she was just acting tough for the sake of the camera, so Alicia is totally in the right when she follows by calling Jessie a drama queen. Jessie (who's twang is a lot more noticeable here for some reason) again tells Alicia that she needs to grow up. 

Brian offers a best of Season 2. And here it is. Bob/Hawk. Jessie smiling. Working out on the beach leads to Aaron going to the hospital. Injuries. Hawk's mental issues. Thongs. Everyone nearly killing each other. Partying. Jackie and Pete dancing. Jackie on the phone. Africa. Hawk getting his head shaved. Jackie's injury. The finals. 

Cole goes back to the wrestling in thongs. Matt: "It was the best part of the show!" Ivory clarifies that it was a jock strap, so you could see everything, but only if you stayed up late enough to watch it. 

Best of Season 1. No idea how tough. First days. Shadrick puking. Back bumps. Tazz tells them to believe in god. Mud wrestling. Running in mud. Victoria isn't sure she likes this. The 10 push up game. Lucky Chengs and Maven cross dressing. Ring work. Scratches from running the ropes. Going on the road. Backstage. Yelling at Darryl again. Moonsaults. Final 5.

Cole gets on Darryl - "Darryl didn't have the heart to make it in this business." Hey, he's in this room - that's not very polities, Michael. Al yells at Darryl for talking when he's walking away from Al. Darryl says that during his audition, they asked him if he wanted to be in the WWF or be on MTV, and he said he wanted to be on MTV. Well then you're a big idiot who got what he deserved. Darryl says he wasn't a wrestling fan and told the rest of his housemates that his favorite match was Hogan vs Slaughter because he didn't know any wrestling matches and he was just making something up. Darryl's wearing a T-Shirt that says "misunderstood" on it. Tazz (who's lucky enough to be sitting right next to Darryl) nutshells it that Darryl has no respect for the wrestling business. Tazz says he didn't make it on Tough Enough because he wasn't Tough Enough. He was on MTV, good for him. But his attitude sucked, he had the heart of a [bleep] and in fact, he is a [bleep]. Tazz, Mr. Manners. Greg's cracking up in front of them, because this is Wrestling Promo 101. "And when the day comes when you drop dead, they're gonna build a pine box big enough to fit your horrible in that, and you will be a dead [bleep]. You know what I'm talking about. Your best bet is to sit their and don't say [bleep] to me!" Darryl must've said something about Tazz but wow. Darryl now opts to walk out. Brian asks where's he going, then calmly segues to the break hype. Cole tries not to crack up on camera.  

We're back, and so is Darryl. JOY. He's shaking his head, mad like. But quiet like. Our next clip montage is dealing with the cameras everywhere - a lot of guys undressing. And some of people running into things. Hawk picks his noise. Darryl picks his noise. Linda falls down stairs with luggage. Pete: "If it makes you feel any better, there are no camera out here." HAHAHA.

Cole: "Pete, I've heard some really bad lines in my day..." Wait, I hope he's the one telling them. Jackie owes it up to being drunk. Brian asks if someone was surprised with the volume of cameras, and Alicia says she hated them. Greg talks about everyone seeing everything he had, when he stripped at Lucky Changs. We see clips, and Brian explains that it's a transvestite strip club. Tazz asks him how he knows that, and Brian mutters something about his mom and then says it's because Tazz took him there. Josh says they knew what they were getting to, and it was worth getting a chance to WWE. Anyway, this whole segment was to really to draw out Kenny's run-in with the camera crew, and since Kenny won't get into it, we'll run the clip first and then ask him. Kenny (Fat Albert T-Shirt) says he was drunk. Brian says that's not the only time he was drunk, and brings up the South African Girl With No Name, so let's see that. Linda claims she wasn't trying to check out Kenny, she was just walking by to see what happened. Pete's version is that he had to go through Kenny's room to get to his, but Linda was standing and gawking for about three minutes before she was finnaly pushed out of there. 

Time for another montage. Chavo says it's probably a good day to know your trainers names - and then Linda calls them "Ivy", "Holiday", and "Chavin, Chavis". Al: "We had two brooms, but Ivory took one out for a ride last night." Jackie telling them to call her Miss Jackie. Tazz being angry. Bob not giving Hawk a handshake. Beating on Hawk. Al as dad. Al cuts a promo about being Dad: "Like I'm Bill Cosby? I don't wear no god[bleep] ugly sweaters!" Al says they're as much Big's kids as his, but he's the man in the relationship and Big is an awfully ugly women. Back in the studio, Brian points out that it seems like the trainers pick out a few people for extra punishment. Bob says he lost his patience with Hawk more than anyone else. He wanted to make sure he stopped Hawk from losing focus. Brian brings up Josh looking like Al - we see it - Al says Josh idolizes him, and he's starting to wonder if Josh is stalking him. Josh says it was an asskissing thing, which obviously didn't work. Al says it was more of a contest to see who could get under who's skin. Brian asks if they got attached to any of the superstars and Al sneaks it that he hated them all before Bob talks about detaching himself from them, and prompting Hawk to talk about what he got out of Tough Enough. Hawk starts to talk about growing up - "that's not what I'm talking about, you moron! Didn't you read for a movie in California?" Hawk says he read for the role of Colossus in X-Men II but hasn't heard anything more about it. Anyway, getting back to the point of the segment, Al says that the business is a tough one, so if they didn't push them, they wouldn't be doing their jobs. Ivory uses this to get back to Darryl, saying that he was much better off with what happened on Tough Enough than what would have happened if he went further, and he should be thankful for that. Darryl says stuff but doesn't make any sense. Break.

Now we're going to learn what happened to everyone who didn't make it - first, we mention Bobby Jo (who's not here so we get a clip instead) - she wanted to be in Playboy, and now she's pregnant. Cole asks who's still pursuing the dream of being a WWE superstar today - besides the kids, Al and Ivory also raise their hands. Paulina says she's at OVW. "What up, OVW" Cole explains what OVW is to those not in the know. I think Josh said something and got clipped, but who knows. CK says he got back into in February (hmm, that would put it right when the new season started) at a place near his home. Pete talks about doing a show - Taylor was there - and got to wrestle Chris Candido. "It was a like a dream come true, wrestling with Skip." Cole asks the opposite question - is there someone who doesn't want anything to do with this business. Victoria laughs - she respects the business, it's just not for her. She got hurt too much. 

Now talking about cuts and injuries. Triple H's speech, leading to Jason going. Bobby Jo and Victoria quitting. Darryl is cut. Shadrick is cut. Miss Jackie cries. Paulina is injured and goes. CK's speech. Wait, we missed Greg. Robert cut. Aaron passes out and gets cut. Danny gets cut and cries. Alicia is gone. Jessie is going home and not happy with it. Hawk has issues. Pete is cut. Anni is cut. All the chairs. Jason is asked why he quit - he was about to be engaged, and he had no idea how much they were on the road, and his feelings took him back to his wife. They're married now. Shadrick says he couldn't deal with the pressure. Why Hawk Why? He had some baggage! No way. He kept it all to himself. Clinically, he has a split personality. The trainers give mock shock. Ivory: "I was wondering why they didn't give you two or three microphones." Did he have an issue with Bob? No, he knew Bob liked him. "I knew he really wants to give me a hug." Bob says that he still doesn't like Hawk, but if he was in Africa, he wouldn't have gone home. Does that mean that he wouldn't have been cut (like everyone assumed, probably Hawk included) or that he wouldn't have let Hawk quit like that? Dunno.

Okay, other people were injured (though probably the same things). People in pain montage. Pauline with a partially turn ligament and partially broken bone. Greg's back. Matt hurting his knee. Jackie's injury. Cole asks Jackie what she thought - she was scared for a day, could she do it, that close to the end? Despite the major injury, nothing but being cut was going to stop her from finishing the show. How did Matt feel that he had the same injury but didn't go on? I'd bet ticked because they didn't let him. He was happy for Jackie, and he moved on. He talks about getting a WWE tryout, and he got a developmental deal. Aaron talks about "quote unquote failed the physical challenge" - Al calls him on that nuttyness - "You got sent to the hospital! Your skin was like ash! I love the way you put a spin on things!" Anyway, we never see where that was going. Cole directs our attention to Maven, and his leg injury. Here's the clips. But he finished the match! Greg's back is A-Okay, and he's back in the ring and wrestling. Cole asks if Jake's shape helped him for the ring - he says there's no real preparation for what you're doing. Break.

How was it like living today. Kenny says he tries to avoid conflict, and then we see him and Jake swearing at each other. Chris and Darryl argue. Alicia is in a bad mood. Paulina calls Taylor a suck-up. more Jake and Kenny. Chris gets mean to Josh. Alicia and Jessie argue. Victoria calls Bobbie Jo an airhead. Pete and Linda argue. Darryl acts dumb. Victoria yells at him. Alicia is annoyed with the guys. Chris and Darryl talk. Jake and Kenny continue their promo contest. Cole asks Chris if he's really "arrogant, a brown noser, stuck up and a pompous ass" like people said? Chris says he's a confident person, as he should be. It's their problem. Did Josh and Chris iron out their differences? "I hate him...a lot!" Actually they're fine now - in fact, they worked a show together last week in LA with Taylor (though Josh forgets Taylor's name for a second there) and it's just they don't live well together. Taylor disputes the notion that she was a suckup, and doesn't know where they got that. She doesn't believe she came off like that, but Josh disputes that. Taylor says he was worse with Al. Josh has no comeback. Victoria softens her Bobbie Jo comment, though she doesn't actually take it back. "I think Darryl is an ass[bleep] and I still think he is." Brian asks if Darryl is now surprised with the way the cast members treated him after he watched the show. "Yes, I-" Victoria: "WHY?" I notice that Big is now sitting between Tazz and Darryl - maybe they changed that when he came back. Darryl whines. Chris talks about talking with Darryl, and says that Darryl never changed after. Darryl whines more. We some how segue to Anni and it's boring. Al eggs Alicia on to yell at Pete and Kenny, about the whole talking behind the back. They argue and Alicia calls Jessie Drama Queen again.

Clips of sex related activities. We get a lot of previously unseen Linda/Jake footage, because apparently there was something there that we didn't get on TV. As well as the expected. Also Taylor's blurred behind on Maven's bed, and then two people moving around under covers after the lights are out. Brian outs Maven and Nidia (who's name is even more misspelled at Nydia) as the two people under the sheets - Nidia says it was her bed, but she wasn't there, and Maven says it wasn't his room. Jackie regrets her fling with Pete "a 100% yea." Here's the phone call about the kiss and footage. Pete says he regrets ever ever ever trying to hook up with her - "I thought you were falling in love with me?" Hahaha. Pete denies, and here's the proof! Lovely. Pete says all his friends told him that he did the wrong thing, that Jackie's really not that good looking and all. Tazz: "Do you smooth talk all the girls that way?" Time for a break.

Superstars montage. Show. Triple H. Regal. Jericho. Edge. Mick Foley. Team Xtreme. Dudley Boyz. Stacy and Torrie. Pat Patterson. Stephanie. Kurt Angle. Steve Austin. Cole asks if the life is as tough as Triple H said - Nidia says a lot and agrees. She didn't think it'd be that hard and was overwhelmed the first week. Robert didn't think it would be as much cardio. Jessie talks about having a lot of respect for wrestlers, but knows she can't be one of them. She got farther than she thought she would. She's now part of the WWE Production Department.

Which Tough Enough was tougher? Pete says 2 was tougher because people thought 1 was too easy, so they made it rougher with Optimum Fitness. They also working on their vacation, unlike 1. Chris No. says that they had no idea what was going on, and it was mentally stressful. His favorite part of season 2 was when they went to the pre-tape room and were surprised that they were going to be cutting promos - that's the same thing they did on season 1, so they should've seen what was coming. They didn't, but they had those kind of opportunities. 

So then, for no reason but it's MTV (oh and Cole says some line about Tough Enough not being complete without a physical challenge, whatever) there's a arm wrestling match between Jason and Matt to see which season is the best. They totally shift the table and cheat and Matt wins.

Season 3 will be soon! Thanks for watching. That's it.