WWE SmackDown! - 11/06/03
Taped: 11/04/03
Buffalo, NY

• Tonight: Basham Brothers vs Eddie Guerrero
• Rey Mysterio (San Diego, CA, 175 pounds) vs John Cena (West Newbury, MA, 248 pounds, Dick Butkus, non-official jersey)
  • You can't see John Cena, but rumors have him on Brock's team.
  • Cena has less of a chance losing to Rey as Big Show only eating a Cheerio at a buffet 
  • Cena also notes that Rey is short.
  • Remember when these two and Edge were "the Future of SmackDown!(!!!)"
  • Talking points
    • Speed vs Power
    • Cena's style is "Pound and Ground"
    • Cena is not a nice guy.
    • Cena would be a great fit for Brock's team.
  • Tazz points
    • "If you control the man's head, you control the body. The head follows the body. If you look at any horse or cow or farm animal, you'd know that, Cole."
  • Cena mocks Rey by going to his knees
    • Rey has suggestions for what Cena can do down there, which Cena does not appreciate.
  • At 3:00, Cena gives Rey a hanging suplex, and manages to "can't see me" while he's up there.
  • The set up for the bodyscissors bulldog looks more staged than usual
    • there's a notable pause that Tazz sells as a temporary block
  • Cena slightly hurts his knee at 4:50, but it's a slight momentary limp.
  • 619 at 5:15 features a completely unbelievable ref bump 
    • Cena throws himself backwards into Hebner who throws himself backwards.
  • Cena blocks the WCP with a low blow
    • Don't know why they needed to do the ref bump
    • Low blows DQs don't appear to be called that much now a days, and it fits Cena to get DQed like that.
  • FU. One two three. (5:48)
  • Paul Heyman leads Team Lesnar to the ring post match.
    • Heyman doesn't have his cap!
    • And a brown leather jacket instead of black suit!
    • Cena's all "what? (brush my shoulder)"
    • Paul talks up Cena and pushes the crowd chant.
    • Paul says Cena takes what he want, but tonight, he's going to give Cena something.
    • Not the US title. He has to earn that like Big Show.
    • Not the WWE Title. He has to earn that like Brock Lesnar.
    • Cena's experience points did earn him something. 
    • With Brock's blessing, Cena is the 5th member of Team Lesnar.
    • Cena asks for Clair faction. 
    • Give it, he's got a problem. No one tells him what to do.
    • Besides, he's not going to fit in on "Team Sasquatch"
      • I spelled that right on the first try! Go me
    • Cena gets in three more words before A-Train shows up out of the crowd to club him.
    • Cena gets the corner squash.
    • Morgan and Jones come in to double boot...Cena.
    • Show in for a chokeslam.
    • Lesnar throws in a chair. Morgan and Jones hold Cena.
    • (Unprotected) chair shot for Cena.
    • Play Brock's music.
    • A-Train wandered off here - the other four pose in the ring.
    • Ah, there he is - watching from the stage.

• WM Moment - Bret Hart beats Yokozuna at WMXX
• In the back, Team Lesnar catches up to A-Train
  • A-Train says he wasn't out there to mess up their plans, just to settle the score with Cena.
  • Paul likes the initiative, and gives A-Train the fifth spot at Survivor Series.
  • Handshakes all the way around.
    • Brock and A-Train have slight tension before their handshake, but do shake.
      • I imagine they remember when Brock dropped A-Train right on his head
      • And A-Train wanting to kill him after.
      • Cena even told him about that! Oh, if the shows were any memorable any longer.
• Tazz and Cole discuss the largeness of Team Lesnar.
  • Moving on, a recap of Eddie's recent bad luck
    • Eddie gets destroyed on the truck by Big Show three weeks ago
    • Eddie loses the US Title at No Mercy
    • Eddie loses the tag team titles to the Basham Brothers two weeks ago
    • Eddie apologizes and still gets beat down last week
• Chavo gives Eddie a pep speech
  • Except Eddie doesn't seem to need pep.
  • Chavo's banned from ringside.
  • Chavo: "You need to do this for Chavo!"
  • Eddie reminds him that it's a tag team.
  • Chavo reminds him that Eddie was the one who lost the tag team titles.
  • Chavo lays on the drug guilt trip
  • Eddie needs to make it right for Chavo.

• Subway Faarooq beatdown of last Thursday
  • Announcers say Faarooq's status for the Survivor Series match is up in the air.
• US Champion Big Show (500 pounds) vs Bradshaw (297 pounds) in a non-title match
  • Bradshaw isn't announced from Texas? SACRILEGE
  • Bradshaw attacks before the bell so he can get any offense.
  • Announcers try to push the idea that Bradshaw could possibly win this match.
  • Bradshaw actually hits a top rope shoulderblock. 
  • Tazz has flashbacks to Velocity, discussing "Irish" whips
    • Tazz: "If I wasn't from Brooklyn, I'd be like Bradshaw and be from Texas."
  • Bradshaw's offense consists of lots of strikes, especially punches.
  • They do give Bradshaw plenty of offense here.
  • Clothesline from Hell reversed into Chokeslam, one two three (3:49)
    • You know, next time Bradshaw turns evil, I could call that Clothesline from Heel! 
    • Best typo possible.
    • I'll forget it by then, I promise
• Paul harasses Torrie
  • What a snappy hat on Torrie.
  • We tease that Paul is asking Torrie to do him.

• Angle has cell phone calls to answer
  • Benoit wanders over to eavesdrop, I guess.
  • Faarooq is out for Survivor Series.
  • Angle's all pissy because they're down a man, but Benoit wants him to calm down.
  • Torrie rushes in - the thing Paul wanted her to do is actually inform them of their match tonight.
  • Benoit/Angle vs Brock Lesnar/A-Train (dramatic pause to confuse Benoit)/Matt Morgan/Nathan Jones.
  • Torrie rushes out while Angle and Benoit react.
• To the announcers, speculating about the death for Team Angle.
• Survivor Series
  • Undertaker vs Mr. McMahon, buried alive with CGI
• Sit down interview with the Undertaker
  • He doesn't like Vince is the general point.
  • Undertaker compares his current feud with Vince to Bret Hart's and Steve Austin
    • but he does not say it like "Compared to Vince's feud with Bret Hart and Steve Austin, this is has little build up and sucks."
    • Anyway, he's getting revenge for all those people. 
    • And Stephanie too.

• They filmed a SECOND vignette for the Cat?
  • Oh, I hope they're not setting up him having an entourage with all these people here.
  • He's definitely being set up as a heel here.
  • And they have some guy spend the whole thing talking him up. 
• Eddie Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 228 pounds) vs WWE Tag Team Champions Los Bashams (Columbus, OH, 495 pounds, w/Shanquia) in a non-title match where Eddie receives a tag team title shot when he wins the match
  • Cole: "The long road back to respectability" - what, did he lose to Funaki?
  • New music and seizure inducing entrance and video for Bashams.
  • Shaniqua has a nice new red outfit.
  • VIVA LA RAZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Cole tells me this is a longshot
    • On the other hand, I have watched wrestling before.
  • Cole: "If you're the Bashams, what's your strategy in this match?"
  • Tazz: "Probably buy a new nipple after that last chop."
  • Tazz: "What is Doug's obsession with the crotch area of Eddie Guerrero?"
  • Bashams are gay or are playing gay this week.
  • Tazz says "springboard pescado"
    • That's like saying "jumping dropkick"
  • Eddie moves out of the way of the Ohio Jam.
  • No one to tag, so Eddie has to go hot tag by his own.
  • Except it's not really hot.
  • Eventually he gets into it, though.
  • Frog Splash attempt at 6:49 is delayed to a Shaniqua distraction.
  • Bashams pull a switch while Eddie takes care of her.
  • Eddie goes up, but is unsure - the fans are totally warning him NOOOOO.
  • Eddie listens to them and aborts the move!
  • Instead, he hops down and grabs the Magic Stick from Shaniqua as she's arguing with Nick Patrick.
  • Shot for Danny, shot to Nick's butt, toss the Magic Stick to Danny, Nick turns around and puts two and two together.
  • Nick is always good in his "What's that in your hand there?" gesturing.
  • Eddie sneaks in for an inside cradle one two three. (7:28)
  • Chavo is out and pumped for his uncle.

• Main Event Hype.
• Recap of the end of the match we just saw
• During the Break: Eddie and Chavo are pumped and driving out of the building.
  • I hope they had their luggage in the car!
• Vince is out to talk and talk and talk
  • Vince is playing calm to start. He needs to build.
  • After some setting up, Vince goes to one knee and we go to one spotlight.
  • He says a prayer for himself.
    • He wants understanding and forgiveness not for what he's done, but for what he's about to do.
    • "For you see, I've been chosen. Yes, I've been chosen. I've been chosen by a higher authority, a greater power, I've been chosen! I've been chosen, I've been chosen to take this glorious quest, I've been chosen to take the Final Ride, I've been chosen to vanquish my foes, I've been chosen to slaughter the infidel! Yes, by god, I've been chosen to bury the Undertaker alive. Amen and AMEN."
  • Lots of Vince scary face close ups.
  • 4:43

• Angle, Benoit, Rhyno, Big Show, Cena talk about Hardcore Holly
• WWE Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri (w/Posse, abbreviated entrance) and Nunzio (201 1/4 pounds, w/o FBI) vs Ultimo Dragon (Nagoya, Japan, 185 pounds) and Jamie Noble (Hanover, WV, 200 pounds, w/o Nidia)
  • Recap of last week's antics.
    • Tazz: "They're Japanese, they should all be friends."
  • Noble being Ultimo's Dragon is a surprise
    • Hahaha, Noble and Ultimo. Funny awesome.
    • Noble's left elbow is taped and braced.
    • Noble charges Tajiri, Nunzio attacks him, and we're off.
  • There's something awesome about Noble yelling "c'mon DRAGON! c'mon Ultimo!"
  • Velocity level match. That'd I'd recap on that show.
  • Nunzio with the Sicilian Slice at 4:35
    • Tazz actually calls it!
    • Noble breaks up the pin.
  • Tajiri grabs Ultimo's arm and waves it at Noble at one point, mocking him.
  • Dragon blocks a superplex into a second rope front suplex for the turning point.
  • Tag to Tajiri, tag to Noble at 5:57. He waits for Tajiri to come over to belt him.
    • Crowd not particularly hot for it
  • Nunzio sneaks in the arrivederci on Noble at 6:25.
  • Ultimo with the handspring elbow on Nunzio, followed by the Asai Moonsault.
  • Tajiri and noble battle in the ring. 
  • Series of reversals lead to a Noble La Majistral cradle one two three (6:57)
  • Jamie ducks charging attacks by the Posse and flees the ring.

• Survivor Series
  • Undertaker vs Vince, Buried Alive
  • Tajiri (c) vs Jamie Noble for the Cruiserweight Title
    • They say "made by Paul Heyman" but why would HE?
  • Team Angle vs Team Lesnar
    • They stamp an "OUT" graphic, and he fades away into a ??? spot
    • Earlier tonight, how Cena didn't get a spot and A-Train did.
• WWE Champion Brock Lesnar (Minneapolis, MN, 295 pounds), Nathan Jones (Australia, 340 pounds), Matt Morgan (Fairfield, CT, 320 pounds) and A-Train (Boston, MA, 350 pounds) vs
  • We still don't know Matt was on Tough Enough. Sad.
  • Total weight of Team Angle is 1805.
    • Cole keeps shortening them 5 pounds.

• Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan and A-Train vs Kurt Angle (Pittsburgh, PA, 237 pounds) and Chris Benoit (Edmonton, AB, 229 pounds) in a 4 on 2 handicap match
  • Brock opts to join commentary for the time being.
  • Brock: "All my guys have their teeth"
  • Brock: "The guy was in prison! Did you know that?"
  • Brock: "I know how to pick guys. I should be a recruiter."
  • Brock: "Knock another tooth out, Nathan!"
  • Debate over whether Matt is a farmboy, and if they have farms in Fairfield.
  • Brock: "I don't care about the statistics, Tazz. I just know I'm around big guys."
  • Brock: "[A-Train] is six feet seven feet tall."
    • Tazz: "He's got me by an inch."
  • Break at 4:59

• Brock is still sitting at ringside. Wait, no, he's going to beat Benoit up since he's right in front of the desk.
• Hot tag to Angle at 9:49
• They don't trust Nathan to do anything.
• Angle Slam, Anklelock on Brock at 10:29
• Crossface on A-Train at 10:31
• Big Show in to break them up (DQ 10:45)
• Chokeslam for Angle.
• Chokeslam for Benoit - no, he slips out for the Crossface, but can't get it on.
• He does stall Show long enough for the Clothesline from Hell from Bradshaw
• Nathan Jones in to do his one move (high boot)
• Morgan with hit sit down powerbomb on Bradshaw.
• In comes John Cena with a chair - chair shot to Morgan, chair shot to Jones.
• Show blocks a chair shot with a punch - A-Train over for a Derailer.
• Brock up and with the chair - shot for Angle, for Benoit, for Cena.
• Play his music, we've run out of things to do.
• Everyone on Team Brock pose.
• Replay, because we're apparently a half a minute early.