WWE SmackDown! - 09/11/03
Taped: 09/09/03
Birmingham, AL

• Cars are set up for the Parking Lot Brawl
  • They're going to be facing the ring in a circle for the brawl.
• WWE Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio (San Diego, CA, 175 pounds) and thug life Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds) vs Tajiri (Japan, 206 pounds) and Nunzio (201 1/4 pounds) 
  • This is set up from Tajiri misting Rey after their title match last week. Nunzio was a recent opponent, so he's a partner here.
  • Tazz's story is that Tajiri has been in a bad mood since he got thrown through the hood by Eddie.
  • Kidman is face in peril. They work his head.
  • Typical Velocity match, shortened for SmackDown!
  • Kidman reverses a seated Tornado DDT into his BK Bomb to make the hot tag.
  • Extended Rey/Tajiri sequence till Nunzio breaks up a near fall, and Kidman get involved.
  • Kidman and Nunzio end up back up, but Tajiri ducks a 619 (having faked being out) and hits the reverse thrust kick for the win. (4:17)
  • Tajiri takes the belt, and smacks Rey with it. 
• Vince, Sable, Stephanie, Big Show and eventually Brock all gab.
  • End result is Stephanie vs Brock is the main event.
  • Unless Stephanie quits. She doesn't, though we have a few more vignettes to tease it.

• Torrie and Nidia talk to Dawn about her challenge to Shaniqua.
  • Torrie and Nidia think it's a bad idea.
  • Dawn just wants to be on TV is standing up for herself
• Shaniqua (no weight, no home town) vs Dawn Marie (no weight, no home town)
  • No Bashams. Shaniqua gets her own music.
  • Dawn's got new music. Still generic.
  • Dawn attacks to start the match, and doesn't fare well.
  • Shaniqua beats Dawn up outside, then throws her in to go get a chair.
  • Torrie and Nidia come in to attack her from behind. (DQ 1:26)
  • They get shoved away, Torrie gets a chair shot and the three get away from the one.

• Chris Benoit (Edmonton, AB, 229 pounds) vs Rhyno (Detroit, MI, 275 pounds)
  • A-Train shows up to run Benoit back first into the post at 1:30. Thrown in, but only a two count.
  • Break with no warning at (2:03)
  • Rhyno works on the back for the whole match. 
  • Rhyno busts out a Rock-level Sharpshooter. 4:30. Ropes.
    • Announcers don't call it right away for the first few seconds.
  • Benoit gets his own at 5:20. Ropes.
  • Benoit gets bused open in the mouth at some point.
  • Benoit sunset powerbomb at 6:47 for 2
  • Rhyno goes for the Gore, and Benoit turns it into the Crossface. That's it. (7:55)
• Backstage, APA are playing poker with random midcarders.
  • Let's see - playing are Matt (Version One), Stamboli, Sean O'Haire), Faarooq, and Bradshaw.
  • Standing around are the Butler, Chuck, and Orlando.
  • Matt complains about the Butler's treatment - turning a little man into a servant.
  • Shannon just returns (from seven stores) with the orange juice that he wants. With no pulp.
  • Matt pounds the table in anger! It was supposed to have EXTRA pulp.
  • "Don't you know that was a Matt Fact a few months ago! 'Matt loves extra juice in his orange juice!'
  • Faarooq does the pot/kettle/black line.
  • Bruce the Butler: "Who's he calling black?"
  • Matt says they're degrading Bruce, while he's upgrading Shannon.
  • He's in a seven step program of Mattitude.
  • "You two ought to think about a twelve step program known as Alcoholics Anoymous!"
  • The heels love that line.
  • Bradshaw: "You need to try a two step program to get him out of your ass."
  • Matt challenges the APA to a match to prove that Shannon's more than a servant.
  • After the brawl, sure.
  • Everyone leaves to go the brawl.
  • Bradshaw reminds Faarooq that it's 9/11
  • They toast.
• John Cena (Brian Urlacher) goes over the rules with Brian Hebner
  • Cena can do anything he wants, and he's happy about it.
  • He's very excited.

• John Cena vs Eddie Guerrero in a Parking Lot Brawl
  • The guys from the last bit, and at least Funaki, are watching from around the cars.
  • Cena does a pre-match rap.
  • Ah, the Bashams are there too. Everyone else is in street clothes, but they're in their normal gear.
    • Doug is at least wearing a shirt. Danny looks like a total goofy with out it.
  • Eddie drives up in a lowrider to complete the circle, and uses the title as a weapon.
  • No opening bell.
  • This match is well covered elsewhere
  • There's a blond guy near Shannon and Matt I can't figure 
    • I think it's Billy Gunn, but I don't get a really good look at him.
    • Wonder why most of the cruiserweights aren't here. 
  • I'm not a blood guy, but you'd think they would've had someone bleed here. 
    • Must've used up their allotment for now with the Zach stuff.
    • Cena does have a trickle of blood coming from his hairline, so maybe they tried and it just didn't work.
  • Frogsplash at (8:10) finishes it.
  • It's funny how all the heels are unhappy and all the faces cheer.
  • Eddie: I got a headache!
  • Chavo puts Eddie in the lowrider truck and drives them off.
  • Cena is bleeding from his left arm, but we don't focus on it.

• the APA (576 pounds) vs Matt Hardy (Version One) & Shannon Moore (436 pounds)
  • APA are dressed in jeans.
  • Matt Facts: Matt rarely uses turn signals. Matt's entertainment system requires five remotes.
  • Tazz loves everyone. Except Cole.
  • Faarooq thinks Shannon is not worth facing, till Shannon attacks him in the back.
  • DOUBLE BICEP POSE. "WHAT? WHAT?"
  • Faarooq still won't. One more shove and that's that.
  • Despite not being dressed to wrestle, APA dominate this match easily.
  • Clothesline from Hell on Shannon for three (3:13)
  • Bruce comes to the ring to deliver the APA a platter of beer.
• Iron Man hype

• Vince is in the ring to welcome Brock for the next match.
  • Brock's fireworks surprise Vince
  • Fans chant You Tapped Out at Brock.
  • Will Stephanie quit? or take the match?
• Brock Lesnar vs Stephanie McMahon
  • She's trying to do "scared by not backing down"
  • I hope she starts the match by giving up.
  • Vince figures Stephanie thinks he won't go through with this.
  • So he has to go through with it. Stephanie deserves it.
  • Slap for Vince. Brock attacks, and gets a low blow.
  • Stephanie tries to make a run for it, and Vince takes her down.
  • Stephanie kicks Vince low and crawls away, but Brock catches up to her.
  • Did this match ever officially start?
  • Stephanie thrown into the barricade.
  • Stephanie gets away and runs to the back. Brock chases.
  • So I guess that's a no to the match.
  • Vince is still down in the ring, but moving and trying to get out of the ring without hurting her groin.
  • Brock comes back with Stephanie on his shoulders.
  • Is he going to do the F5 into the post?
  • Angle finally is out of the save, puling Stephanie from Brock (though she drops to the floor) kinda hard and going to punches.
  • Vince helps Brock turn the tide.
  • Brock goes for the F5 into the post on Angle, but Angle slips away and posts Brock.
  • Angle chases Brock and Vince away with the steps.
  • Angle wants Brock now, but we only 90 minutes - make room for the Mullets