WWE SmackDown! - 08/28/03
Taped: 08/26/03
El Paso, TX

• What town is it again? Oh, El Paso.
  • US Champion Eddie Guerrero is the first out, to a loud reaction.
  • Tony Chimel makes very big effort to remind us where he's from.
  • We see Eddie pull up in his ride outside. Good thing they had his music in case he showed up in time.
  • He has the valet park the car? Why not come in with it?
  • The guy he gives his keys with walks behind him as security.
  • Eddie walks in through a fan entrance, slapping hands with a kid who has a Latino Heat sign
    • That guy had no idea Eddie was coming and was pretty shocked.
  • Through the crowd to the ring.
  • Lots of security needed.
  • He ends up coming in over the announce desk.
  • Tazz gets a hug.
  • Cole gets brushed off when he wants a hug - he gets a big sombero instead.
  • Eddie finds family to hug.
  • The music is on at least the third repeat, but the fans are thrilled to see him still.
  • I think he's got something to say.
  • Well, the Eddie chant has to die down a bit first.
  • Eddie gives the crowd a big kiss, which the camera half misses.
  • "Odale mi raza! Odale El Paso! [eddie eddie eddie eddie - eddie says something I don't catch] odale! El Paso, man, El Paso, you know homies, this is where it all started, esse. This is where Guerreros started. This is where the first Lie Cheat and Steal started. [Spanish] Homies, let me take you back to some Guerrero history. It all started a long long ago when my great great great - Julita Conchita Guerrero - yea, holmes, she crossed over from [border town], yea, she walking down by Santo Avenue right there, ese. And some honky cop comes up there and goes "uh, excuse me miss? uh?" taping her on the shoulder, and my mamilta was like "Que Quires?" And he goes "Excuse me miss?" Auelita was like "What do you say?" So, office was asking my auelita, my grandmother "Senorita, do you belong here?" [boos] Exactly. My auelita turned around and said [spanish - but it didn't sound friendly - cheers]. And the cop said "What did you say?" and my auelita said "of course I belong here, in the land of the free and the home of the brave." That was the first Guerrero lie ever! I don't know what to say! [eddie eddie eddie]
    
    Check it out holmes, now we got the first time she ever cheated, ese, she went to take her citizenship test, you know, and she got her test, but she couldn't understand it, ese - all the questions were in English! So, she looked over in good Guerrero fashion, when no body was looking, she saw the other Guerrero was looking next to her. And when she no one was looking, and when she saw that happened, SHE BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THE OTHER GRANDMA [cheers], grabbed the test, wrote down all the caopes, and become a U.S. Citizen, odale!
    
    Now holmes, after my Grandmother cheated for the first time, ese, there was stealing. And when she came out, becoming a US citizen, well she didn't have a ride back in to town. So as she she walked out, in the parking lot, there was this nice sweet cut low to the ground lowrider. [cheers] Okay, okay, there weren't lowriders back then, it was burro, a donkey. But anyway, back at the ranch, holmes- [Insert John Cena's music here. He's wearing Dr. J's UMASS jersey.]
  • Yo yo yo kill the beat, kill the beat [massive boos]
    Yo yo, look at all this familiar faces
    Hey man, that's the first boyfriend you cheated on - he let you touch all four of his bases.
    And after you spent the night together, you couldn't walk right
    started with dinner and a movie, ended up watching a cock fight
    Yo, you don't belong here, I heard about that green card that you stole
    You better start heading south before I call border patrol
    You know what, no no no no man, that's cool. I'm looking at this picture and there's something that's not fitting in
    You got the US title, but you not even a citizen
    Go ahead, get deported, for me that's not a setback
    I pin you in the Gulf of Mexico, and leave you with a broken wet back
    I'm about to punk you out, in front of your family here in El Paso
    I break you open like a Pinaka, stick my foot right up your []
    • some sign camera sign must've been very bad, because they blur out everything from the bottom rope down.
  • Eddie says it's one thing to talk him down, but you don't talk about El Paso.
  • Cena must be crazy - Eddie's got 12,000 of his friends and family here
  • But it's not about that, it's about Cena thinking he's more American than Eddie
  • Eddie doesn't belong? Cena thinks he's better?
  • Cena hides in the ropes and tells Eddie to chill.
  • Cena says he'l fight - if the US Title is on the line.
  • Cena taunts him - Eddie says if it's about that, he'd love to beat up Cena here tonight.
  • Cena says oooookay. "It's a damn shame we're in El Paso, because after I take that US Title you got, I'm gonna get your sister, holmes."
  • Eddie "since your taking everything tonight, why don't you take this" irhg to the face.
  • Eddie beats Cena well and good. Clotheslined out of the ring.
  • Eddie takes the jersey, puts it on (backwards), and puts on Cena's visor at a funny angle to mock him.
  • Cena rushes the ring, but he's thrown right out.
  • Cena is upset. Eddie throws out the hat.
  • Eddie has a parting gift
    Odale, Holme
    you're gonna get beat
    you're gonna taste defeat
    because I lie, I steal, I cheat
    because no one can withstand my Latino Heat.
  • Play his music.

• Rey Mysterio Jr. © (Drop the Dime, ~4:50) defeated Nunzio to retain the WWE Cruiserweight Title (3rd Defense)

• Chris Benoit (Crossface, ~4:00) A-Train (for the fourth time [1,2, 3] this year)
• A-Train had his foot under the rope at the finish, and this was one of those weeks where everyone recalled that should cause a break.
• Well, except for the ref, who didn't see it.
• A-Train wasn't happy.
• Eddie was told something happened to his car.

• A-Train told Benoit that he'd beat him. Someday. Over the rainbow. Then Rhyno Gored Benoit.
• Maybe if A-Train had Rhyno do that BEFORE the match, he'd have won. Dope.
• Eddie finds out his car is now missing a tire. He's not happy.
  • APA know nothing.
  • Velocity All-Stars Funaki and Orlando Jordan know nothing.
  • Johnny and Chuck know nothing and laugh. So they get beat up.

• Brock goes to the ring to defend taping out at SummerSlam
• Mostly, he didn't, it was alllll an illusion.
• He's special.
• Kurt appears on the video screen to mock Brock.
• Kurt says he's coming to the ring
• Magically, it's the Undertaker who rides out to the ring.
• Undertaker says Brock tapped out, so Undertaker wants a title shot
• Big Show wanders out because if they're just giving away title shots for no particular reason, he wants one too.
• Kurt shows up now, because he had a long walk.
• Stephanie shows up to end this segment - it'll be a three way for #1 contendership.

• Backstage, John Cena claims he'd never disrespect a car like that
• Eddie Guerrero (DQ - low blow uppercut, 15:00~) John Cena
  • John Cena comes to the ring with the missing tire. Guess he just happened to find it.
  • Eddie punks out Cena from behind, and off we go
  • And we go across one break...

• Eddie goes for the chained vertical suplexes, and John Cena low blows him on the second one to end the match
• Crowd is not happy.
• Eddie ends up taking the FU onto his own tire.

• Undertaker (Last Ride on Brock, 16:28) Brock Lesnar and Big Show to become the #1 contender to the WWE Title
  • Kurt joins to do commentary
  • Entrances only before the break

• And then they wrestle some

• Brock goes for the Superplex Of Death on Big Show, but Undertaker sneaks under and Last Rides him to win the match