WWE SmackDown! - 02/27/03
Taped 02/25/03
London, Ontario

• Wow, why'd they put all those clips of Rock in the open if he's not on this show anymore?
• Vince McMahon is out to talk.
  • Rock is not here tonight. (night off)
  • Neither is Hogan. (family emergency/coward)
  • Hogan and Vince, still not friends.
  • Vince recaps the No Way Out finish.
  • We get to see it later.
  • Hulkamania is dead, McMahonamania is running wild.
  • This went about seven minutes.
• Later: Team Angle vs Brock

• Torrie Wilson & Funaki vs Jamie Noble & Nidia
  • I still like Noble's old music better.
  • Announcers hype the announcement of who will be in Playboy, to come later tonight.
    • Tazz is betting the farm on Stephanie
  • Noble tells the announcers that Nidia should be in Playboy.
  • Funaki and Noble try an actual wrestling sequence but it doesn't really matter what they do.
  • Noble's reverse neckbreaker looks very good.
  • This an intergender match
    • remember when only EVIL Eric Bischoff did those.
  • Funaki gets worked over for a long time, but manages to escape the Tiger Bomb and catapult the heels into each other.
  • Bulldog, but Funaki covers instead of making the tag - one two.
    • Crowd is doing the "twooooooooooooooooooo" chant
  • Going for the Rising Sun, but Jamie pushes off. Double clothesline and it's time for a tag.
  • Nidia with a blind tag in, having trouble climbing to the top but eventually gets it - top rope splash comes up empty.
  • Torrie gets the tag and she's Bad Clotheslines A Fire!
    • Cole and Tazz are so interested, they start talking about Vince 4 seconds in.
  • Torrie gives Noble some good and some not so good slaps.
  • Noble throws her down hard.
  • Noble and Torrie chase out the ring, but Funaki ends up hitting a sliding dropkick to stop that.
  • Pescado by Funaki takes both of them out of the picture.
  • Nidia with a good knee lift! but Torrie nicely reverses a whip to a Russian legsweep for two.
  • Obligatory Dawn Marie on the apron spot, obligatory Nidia and Dawn run into each other spot, inside cradle for three. (4:14)
  • Stephanie shows up to talk a bunch
    • She pretends that it's HER that's going to be in the magazine, but it turns a swerve and it's Torrie instead
    • Stephanie acting sexy doesn't really work well.
    • The heat machine is obvious at points here.
    • This takes too long.
    • The real winner is Funaki, who gets multiple hugs after the announcement.

• During the break, Stephanie acted poorly some more
  • Long story short is that Brian Kendrick still wants a job in the WWE, and now that Sean O'Haire has apparently disappeared, he's got to try other ways.
  • He suggests that if he can last in the ring with Kurt Angle for five minutes, he gets a job. Stephanie eventually agrees.
• Nunzio (Queens, NY, 201 pounds, w/the FBI (Stamboli and Palumbo)) vs Eddie Guerrero (w/Chavo Guerrero)
  • Nothing if not creative, this WWE.
    • Tazz: "FBI? Think I heard that somewhere before."
    • The problem here is that Tazz can recall the group, but can't remember that Nunzio was part of it, since Tazz acted like Nunzio was someone he never met before back when the debuted. It's a paradox.
    • Give 'em a month or two and they'll forget that Nunzio's supposed to be a different character, I'm sure. 
  • Lockup, Eddie with the headlock, shot into the ropes, over (with a roll) and back with a shoulderblock one twooooo no.
  • Right hands by Eddie, working Nunzio over by the ramp ropes.
  • Whip, reversed, Nunzio's head down too soon and Eddie rolls over his back (awkwardly)
  • Nunzio off the ropes and into a dropkick.
  • Kick, running up the ropes for the Mexican Armdrag.
  • Nunzio retreats into the opposite corner and ends up tripping Eddie into the middle turnbuckle.
  • Running Eddie into the corner for shoulders and kicks.
  • Eddie manages a single le to get back control. Punches.
  • Johnny makes a move towards the ring, which distracts Chavo and Choida, but nothing seem to come from it.
  • Eddie with a whip, reversed, and about 15 seconds after the distraction started, they get to Chuck tripping up Eddie.
  • Nunzio with kicks to the ribs, cover for one two.
  • Mounted punches.
  • Eddie ends up over the bottom rope in front of the FBI - Nunzio chokes, then distracts so Chuck can get a punch in.
  • Nunzio pulls down his knee pad and hits a knee drop one two no.
    • The announcers sorta try to make the non-padded knee drop seem illegal.
    • But I'm not sure if they actually meant the outside interference before it and weren't clear
  • Nunzio back suplex, but Eddie lands on his feet (well, knees) and hits the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
  • Both men slow up - Nunzio charges Eddie in the corner and missed.
  • Eddie with punches topped with an European Uppercut. Nunzio flop.
  • Whip, Eddie's head down too soon and he gets it kicked just as a chant picks up for him.
  • Nunzio goes for a victory roll but gets an electric chair suplex one two NO.
  • Eddie with a modified belly to belly suplex one two no.
  • Announcers go through great pains to establish these are cheating faces.
  • Eddie going up but probably not fast enough - Nunzio does move, but Eddie rolls out of the Frog Splash in time.
  • Nunzio charges, Eddie goes for another tilt-a-whirl, Nunzio with a small package, Eddie reverses and pulls the tights one two three (3:54)
  • Chuck is quickly in to take down Eddie, Chavo is in after him, but Johnny makes it 3 on 2.
  • Out for the save is Rikishi? Well more that he wants the FBI than to save, I guess.
  • Guerreros and Rikishi quickly clear the ring.
  • Rikishi yells at the FBI and warily talks with Eddie and Chavo -
    • he doesn't seem to totally trust them, and we don't stick around long to get a handshake, though it seems headed that way
  • Six man tag being set up, obviously.

• Paul Heyman and Stephanie waste my time
  • Stephanie decides that since Kurt Angle got to make up stipulations last week, Brock will get to make a stipulation of his own tonight.
  • If he beats Team Angle tonight, he gets to fight whatever Team Angle member he chooses next week in a Steel Cage
    • Why does Stephanie just give the Brock the stipulation now? Why put obstacles in front of him? Never clear.
  • Heyman doesn't like the idea of Kurt/Brock in a cage.
  • Stephanie doesn't care.
• Cole and Tazz discuss.
  • Kurt/Brock probably next week is assumed for the first time but not the last for sure.
• A look back at Edge being taken out at No Way Out.
  • Tazz say he'll be out a year.
• Benoit and Brock discuss this turn of events backstage
  • Benoit figures Team Angle will be coming after them next. So Brock should be careful.
  • Benoit suggests that Brock beat Haas/Benjamin tonight to get his match next week
    • Wow, that's a crazy idea Chris!
  • Brock is gonna win, but shouldn't Chris be worried about Chris?
  • Chris hopes they do! He's got friends, you see.
  • Brock and Chris look inside a dressing room we can't. Brock is impressed.
  • "Like I said, by any means necessary."

• Wrestlemania XIX hype
  • Limp Bizkit will be performing there.
• WWE Cruiserweight Champion Matt Hardy (Version One) & Shannon Moore (415 pounds) vs Chris Benoit (Edmonton, Alberta, 229 pounds)  and ????
  • Matt Fact: Matt's pants are a size 34 in the waist and Matt thinks sweet potatoes are delicious
  • During the Break, Josh Matthews talked to Matt Hardy (Version One) while Shannon Moore helpfully stood around
    • "You see, it wasn't a victory for Matt Hardy though, it was a victory for Mattitude! And tonight, it isn't even about the Cruiserweight Title. And I want to echo the sentiment of our opponent Chris Benoit, I want to be the first one to wish Edge a speedy recover. But you know, come to think of it, if Edge would've known his position, and would've been a Mattitude followed instead of the leader of the Edge Army, he probably wouldn't have suffered such an unfortunate Twist of Fate."
  • Benoit's partner is....Rhyno! He rushes the ring, Matt rushes out, and Shannon is left to get killed.
    • This is Rhyno's first WWE in ring action since the 10/22/01 RAW, where he lost the WCW US Title to Kurt Angle
    • He was "indefinitely suspended" on the following SmackDown!.
    • Neither that nor his cameo on Eric Bischoff's first RAW are mentioned, so forget I said anything.
  • Rhyno works over Shannon in the corner as Benoit is cleared from the ring.
  • Corner whip, corner running shoulder to the midsection. Right hand, tag to Benoit.
  • Whip by Benoit, back elbow connects. Snap suplex, elbow to Matt on the apron.
  • Benoit goes for a rebound clothesline (new for him) but Matt trips him up from the outside.
  • Shannon gets to stomping, then tagging Matt in so they can double team kick him in the corner.
  • Turnbuckle smash by Matt, kicks and rights. Corner whip, charge in to Benoit's back elbow.
  • Benoit out, but right into the Side Effect one two NO.
  • Whip, back elbow/legdrop combo for double impact.
  • No cover, but mounted punches instead.
  • Tag to Shannon, hold for a kick to the ribs.
  • Shannon working forearms to the back of the neck. Back suplex one two NO.
  • Loud Rhyno chant as Shannon works a modified surfboard on Benoit.
  • Benoit with elbows to escape, but Shannon stomps him with a knee, forearm.
  • Tag to Matt, and they both work Chris down in a neutral corner.
  • Just as Cole stumbles and calls Shannon "Hardy" before catching himself, Matt goes to all fours so Shannon can hit Poetry in Motion
  • Unfortunately for them, Benoit saw it coming and moved. Matt right hand misses, and Benoit hits a big German suplex.
  • Benita crawls for a tag - and Rhyno is in. Right hand for Shannon. Right for Shannon, big clothesline for Matt.
  • Whip backdrop for Shannon.
  • Kick, whip, spinebuster for Matt one two Shannon breaks it up.
  • Shannon tries to follow up but ends up getting whipped - leg lariat is caught, and Rhyno hits a corkscrew shoulder powerslam on him.
  • Benoit to the tope - Swandive Headbutt on Shannon!
  • Mat ducks a Rhyno clothesline and forearms Benoit of the ring.
  • He takes his time talking trash though - turn, GORE. One two three. (3:48)
  • Rhyno looked fine, yes, but we're gonna have to wait till match where he actually has to take a bump to really tell.
• Look back to Nathan Jones threat towards the Undertaker last week

• Undertaker is out to make us wonder what happened to his "less talking, more fighting" promise of a few weeks ago.
  • He wants A-Train.
  • A-Train shows up with Paul Heyman and a microphone
    • Both Tazz and myself are appalled by Paul and the microphone.
  • Heyman's now the exclusive agent of A-Train now.
  • Paul ends up introducing Big Show, who's still rubbing his neck from the hold.
  • A-Train and Big Show circle the ring.
  • Taker easily gets the best of them one on one.
  • It's only when Show attacks while A-Train is getting beat that the advantage is turned.
  • Chokeslam. Second rope splash. Elbow on the apron.
  • Show goes for a chair, but Nathan Jones is out to knock Big Show off the apron.
  • Jones throws some kicks that are supposed to look impressive from a guy his size, but don't come close to hitting A-Train
    • They're deliberate misses and sold as such, but seem quite pointless unless this is a planned swerve.
    • They are enough to scare off A-Train.
  • Play Undertaker's music because Nathan apparently has none of his known.
  • Nathan and Undertaker have a little conversation in ring, but we don't see much of it.
    • Like the Guerreros/Rikishi post-match from before

• 3 Weeks Ago, John Cena took the F5 into the ring post
• This week, he raps

  Brock:

  I see hit here glued to the screen, punching these keys,

  watching everything you do on these internet feeds

  I download high speed all the files I need

  To make your hard drive crash, and to make your face bleed

  you can't erase me

  I'm gonna make you taste me

  I'm a virus; I kill you the next time you face me

  I'm jealous, you stole my shot at the brass ring

  Everybody knows I'm the next big thing

  You all bark, and no bite

  you stole my spotlight

  I'm the great white hope

  You're the great white hype

  If you an animal, then I'm going on safari

  I'm rocking PlayStation 2, you can't figure out Atari

  Look at these eyes, Brock, don't think that I won't shoot you

  I'll leave you worthless, like a nerd with no computer

  show the world that you can't even walk in my shoes

  Your finisher's the F5? Well mine's the FU

  • It really bugs me that he said "great white hype" when "great white DOPE" would have worked so well
• Replay of the Kendrick/Stephanie skit from before

• Brian Kendrick (no music, already in the ring, Olympia, WA, 181 pounds) vs WWE Champion Kurt Angle (Pittsburgh, PA, 237 pounds, w/Paul Heyman)
  • Brian has to fill in Chimel about his hometown and weight.
    • Chimel does not go: "Hey, you know, you weight exactly as much as the Jet. And that blond hair's familiar too."
    • I wonder if Josh will notice on Velocity.
    • Brian's not wearing pajama bottoms this week.
  • Kurt is taking this less than seriously.
  • Tazz says "All we know about this kid is that he was trained by Shawn Michaels"
    • Hey Tazz, why don't you try asking Shawn about this kid? C'mon!
  • Brian wants a handshake but he's not getting it.
  • Kurt shuts up the "Angle sucks" chant by showing off his belt.
  • We get an onscreen clock - it's shown on the left SmackDown!Tron
  • Kurt is in no hurry to get started - in fact, he goes to hand and knees to give Brian a free opening.
  • Brian can't break him down - Kurt lets it go for a while then flips Brian on his head before spinning on his back and slapping his head.
  • 4 minutes to go.
  • Kurt offers a free shot to the face. Hands behind his back, but a head fake freaks out Kendrick.
  • Kurt even goes to his knees, hands behind this back, but another head fake scares Brian.
  • Kurt swears he won't do anything, but Brian's spooked out again.
  • Okay, Kurt's eyes are closed, hands are behind his back, and he's on his knees - and Brian kicks him in the side of the head!
  • Jumping forearm on the ropes, forearm, forearm, forearm, forearm, whip, reversed, caught, overhead belly to belly suplex.
  • Kurt is not happy not - right hands as we hit three minutes.
  • Brian lifted to the top rope, and slapped hard to the floor!
  • Gutbuster drop on the barricade.
  • 2:30 as Brian is thrown back in the ring.
  • Kurt is taking his time, Brian's pretty much out.
  • Anklelock in with 2:14 left, but Kurt releases it - he's not done yet, and he points at the clock.
  • Short clothesline
  • Kurt stalks Brian with two minutes left. Straps down.
  • Kurt waits for Brian to get up - Olympic slam lift, no, he sees he's got plenty of time, so he just drops Brian again.
  • Choke on the middle rope by Kurt. Brian manages a back elbow but Angle is back on him with forearms to the neck.
  • Waistlock, but Brian pops out with a back elbow.
  • Kick is caught, Brian is flipped but lands on his feet, ducking a clothesline and using a reverse neckbreaker swung into a face crusher! One NO!
    • Not even a two count, you should note.
  • Kurt charges at Brian but he keeps ducking - vaguely familiar jumping enziguri hits with one minute left!
  • Brian pulls himself up in the corner, Angle charges, Brian jumps out and Angle hits the corner pole.
  • Drop toe hold by Kendrick, and he wait it for Angle to get up.
  • Kick to the midsection, going for Sliced Bread #2 but Angle pushed him off - big clotheslines.
  • Angle looks at the clock and is ticked.
  • Brian is using the ropes to pull himself up as Kurt checks out the clock.
  • Kurt pick up Brian, but Brian is back with forearms smashes a plenty.
  • Angle cuts him off with a knee at 11 seconds - Olympic Slam! One two three. (4:58)
    • Hebner fast counted there, but Angle still would've made it with one to spare.
    • It looked like Angle might have had a view of the time during that last sequence of forearms, so he knew exactly when to go to the finish.
  • Brian breaks down in tears after realizing he was two seconds shorts.
    • Brian truly got squashed for 4:00 of the match
    • It'll be interesting if they focus on that or pump up the other :58
  • Kurt regroups himself, and grabs a microphone to proclaim that Team Angle had nothing to do with Edge's injury - and you can't prove it.
  • Anyway, moving on, he asks Brian to stand up.
    • "Stand up kid. Oh, sorry, you are standing."
  • "Brian, let me tell you something kid. You got guts. You're not gonna make it in this business, but you got guts. And that goes a long way with me. Hey people, give this kid a hand."
  • Kurt raises Brian's arm up and circles around to show the crowd.
  • "And Brock Lesnar, this one's for you!" Big clothesline! And stomping him into the mat.
  • Brian thrown hard through the ropes. Whipped hard into the steps. Hard into the post!
  • Kurt brings Brian back in for a little more - F5!
  • Angle and Heyman walk off as Cole and Tazz are convinced we're getting Angle/Brock for free next week

• The referee from Rock vs Hogan II, Sylvan Gernier is out to introduce the footage from the PPV
  • The footage is from the last People's elbow to the end of the PPV, I believe. (6:49)
• In footage from after the PPV, Hogan tells Stephanie that he's going to beat up Vince one he finds him
  • Which won't be till next week.
  • Also next week - Undertaker vs A-Train.
  • And possibly a Brock vs ??? Cage Match
• In the locker room, Paul Heyman gives Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas a pep speech.
  • Like the announcers, he can't imagine any other possibility than Brock vs Angle next week.
  • Lots of faith in these two guys.

• WWE Tag Team Champions Team Angle (489 pounds, w/Kurt Angle and Paul Heyman) vs Brock Lesnar (Minneapolis, MN, 295 pounds) in a non-title (?) handicap match
  • During Team Angle's introduction, a graphic for Rock/Austin on RAW Monday comes up, but the announcers don't mention it.
  • This match is SO anti-climatic, so unrealistic and so utterly pointless that I think I'm just gonna save time and skip it.
    • I guess, though, last week established a strategy that makes this kinda realistic - all Brock needs is about 4 minutes alone with either guy, and he's got the win. He did it then.
    • Tazz says Haas and Benjamin "aren't ham n' eggers" but they didn't look that way last week.
  • This is a tag rules handicap match.
  • Haas gets a quick start but Brock easily comes back.
  • Shelton only gets in because Brock whips Haas into his own corner, which is sort of stupid.
  • Shelton fairs no better. A few hope spots but mostly one sided.
  • It's only when Haas comes in illegally and ambushes Brock with a clothesline that the advantage is turned.
  • Kurt and Haas distract as Heyman tries stomping.
  • Brock ends up turning it around back in the ring in no time.
  • Kurt trips up Brock, and they have a chase around the ring.
  • Brock catches up to Kurt, only to take a baseball slide dropkick from Shelton.
  • Haas posts Brock, and then Heyman gets in a chair shot to the back while Kurt distracts. 
  • Shelton ends up getting a two count.
  • Haas gets a little run of moves in, but most of his time on offense is spent in a bodyscissors chinlock.
  • Brock stand up out of it, then climbs the ropes while still in it, so he can fall off the second rope and smash Haas.
  • Haas eventually manages a tag to Shelton, but Brock pops right up as Shelton comes in.
  • Shelton gets another offensive run against both members of Team Angle, but Kurt takes some damage as a distraction
  • German suplex/superkick combo hits for one two NO!
  • Double team corner stomping gets pushed off.
  • Near F5 on Haas, but Shelton smartly catches his partner.
  • Brock has no problem knocking them both down. Haas is sent out, F5 on Benjamin. (7:56)
  • Pretty much a long squash.
  • Brock grabs Paul and throws him in the ring - F5? No, Kurt makes the clip save in time.
  • Angle and Paul have a discussion about Paul's near certain death last week.
  • Brock plays with Paul's hat, then gets the microphone.
  • What he says is obviously clipped, but when we get to the point, we find out Brock's choice for next week.
  • Of course, it's not Kurt, since Brock figures he's getting the WM match anyway. It's Paul.
  • Paul is scared stiff. Kurt, not so much unhappy
  • That's it.