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Stephanie, looking, um, curvy we'll say, is pacing in the GM office apparently waiting to deliver this message to us: "Tonight marks the very special edition of SmackDown! Because tonight, one of the greatest superstars in WWE History returns to SmackDown. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the Phenom, the Undertaker! But that's not all - Eric Bischoff wants to drop a bombshell and invite Stone Cold Steve Austin to RAW? Well tonight, I have a bombshell of my own. Ladies and Gentleman, stay tuned for a big surprise."

open, no fireworks. Pepsi Arena, Albany, NY.

Chris Benoit (Edmonton, Alberta, 229 pounds) vs Charlie Haas (Edmund, OK, 242 pounds, w/Shelton Benjamin) - Announcers talk about the standing ovation at Rumble. Charlie and Shelton have new matching Team Angle outer wear. Circle, Benoit stopping to stare at Shelton. Lockup, Benoit with a quick armdrag. Lockup again, Benoit with an armbar, twist, Haas tries to reverse and does, Benoit with a single leg, toe hold, Haas with a spin into a leg scissors, into a front facelock, Benoit reverses to a hammerlock. Both up, Haas reverses, Beniot with a big back elbow to get out. Armdrag, and Haas rolls away for a break. Lockup, Benoit back to the hammerlock, Haas gain with the leg scissors trip, tying up one leg but Benoit switching to a headlock. Shortening up to a hammerlock - looked like he was going to go for the Crossface there but backed off. Up, Benoit still with the armbar, Haas with an armdrag right and a leg pick. Benoit spins, but Haas holds on to the leg and tries to turn him for a half crab, Benoit grabs one of Haas' leg to take him down, then switches to a side headlock. Getting to their feet, shot in the ropes, back with a shoulderblock. Benoit stares at Haas as he recovers in the corner. Circle. Lockup. Armbar, now into more of an elbow lock, Haas reverses to to the hammerlock, Benoit trying to turn it but Haas turns with him. Benoit looking for a way out but can't find it. Haas with a whip, no Benoit with a quick reverse into a clotheslines. Haas out to break now, but Benoit follows with a forearm. Shelton tries to come over, but Choida blocks of his path from reaching Benoit. Benoit's attention is diverted, and Charlie quickly recovers to attack Benoit from behind. Benoit's hand is smashed into the steps and he's thrown back in. Smashing the arm into the mat. Knee into the left hand. Another. Wristlock - Tazz says keylock, that's good enough for me. We see a replay of the hand smash. Unusual that he's working a hand instead of the shoulder, but it seems to be working. Haas uses some arm cranks over his shoulder, with the pressure on the wrist and the elbow. And another. Tazz sees this as a way to stop the Crossface from being used - if Benoit's arm is weakened, it'll be tough for him to get on and maintain the hold. Ben out trying to escape with forearms to the back, inside cradle with the right arm one two kicked out. Haas quickly up with a dropkick to the left arm/elbow. Knees driven into the elbow and wrist. Haas with a short armbar - putting all the pressure on the elbow. Benoit trying to break free but Haas gets in more shots to the elbow and cranks the arm. Benoit blocks when he tries to go back to the armbar - armdrag! But Haas is right back up with a boot to the arm. Step over armbar by Haas, now letting go to run Benoit elbow first into the corner. The stretching the arm around the ropes bit almost seems painful with this attack! Benoit coming back now - kick kick kick chop chop chop no arm is caught and whipped to the mat. Haas back to a wristlock, trying to hyperextend the joint. There's a nice shot of "Russ" written on Charlie's wristband here. Benoit screaming in pain - Haas turns him and covers one two no. Knee driven into the elbow. Going back to the over the shoulder arm crank, but Benoit working Charlie's back with knees and forearms to get free. Benoit's too hurt to immediately follow up for a moment, but manages a kick and a DDT! Both men down, Shelton yelling at his partner to get back up. Here's another shot of Charlie's wristbands. Both getting up - Benoit needs the ropes to do so. Running back elbow, running back elbow, one arm backdrop! GERMAN! No bridge, because he couldn't keep the hands locked. Benoit standing back up - yep, thumb across throat. Benoit not affecting climbing, nor flying. Swandive Headbutt connects, but Shelton is up on the apron trying to make sure there's no count. Benoit after him with a right hand, Shelton drops to the floor, Charlie charges, CROSSFACE but Haas breaks it because the arm is hurt! Haas overhead belly to belly suplex. German? No, Benoit with a bodyscissors takedown into a pin one two three! (8:58) Haas can't believe he lost, because that was one unusual pin. Shelton can't believe it either. The story is that Benoit doesn't need the Crossface to wins - although it would've been nicer if the ending pin looked better. A win is a win, I guess.

Backstage, Undertaker rides his bike. That's somewhat less exciting than that last match

JVC DeMott beats Rikishi

Rikishi (350 pounds) vs Bill DeMott (280 pounds) - Cole's not very specific on which WWE shows he's hyping are RAW and which are SmackDown! - I think I'd want to know before going. Tough Enough finale is NEXT. I'd call Bill's left arm "heavily taped.", though Cole says later that it's a cast. He hurt in the Rumble, between the canes and getting it twisted in the ropes on the way out. Yelling at each other, and wasting no time. Lockup, break. Lockup, DeMott with a knee. Rikishi turns it around in the corner, right, right, right, right, DeMott with an eye poke. Shoulders to the gut. Choke in the corner, DeMott's warned but takes the four count. Kick. Kick. "That wasn't enough!" Choke for another 4. Rikishi with a kick out of the corner, smashing Bill's arm in the turnbuckle but somehow Rikishi gets hurt on this, I watched this three times and I still don't know how. He does manage to smash Bill in the opposite corner anyway. Smashing the arm on the ropes. Stomping on the arm. More stomps. Armbar, with the focus on the shoulder rather than the elbow of the last match. DeMott getting back to his feet, breaking loose with rights hands. Kick, forearm. Rikishi back with a right hand. Arm wringer, then throwing the arm down on the mat. And another. Legdrop on the arm! "oh my god. oh my god." DeMott headbutting his way back up, right hands, whip,  no Rikishi smashes the arm. Clothesline. Rikishi is pretty much picking DeMott apart here. Rikishi very slow to follow up - off the ropes, into a spinebuster by DeMott but he strained his arm doing it. Both slow up - Rikishi with right hands, corner whip, corner smash. DeMott with a kick to the midsection, corner whip, charge but no one's home. DeMott banged his arm again - then turned right into the superkick. Rikishi drags DeMott by his bad arm in the corner, put the bad over DeMott's chest and there's the Rump Shaker on the bad arm. One two three. (4:12) Replay of the Rump Shaker. Cole blah blah blahs about Rikishi treating DeMott like DeMott's been treating other people, though Bill put up a good effort for an evil dude.

Nathan Jones vignette (:47)

Your announcers are Tazz (what's with the purple?) and Cole. Coming up later, Undertaker and Stephanie's surprise.

RAW Live
Monday - Chicago, IL [RAW]
Next Friday - Minneapolis, MN
Next Saturday - New York, NY
Next Sunday - Binghamton, NY
Next Monday - Washington, DC [RAW]

Backstage, Tough Enough 1's Josh Matthews tries to get a word with the Big Show. Well he would if Show wasn't on the phone. I wouldn't bug people who are on the phone if I were you, Josh. What does Show think about the Undertaker's return on SmackDown, after throwing him off the stage and all. Show responds with a choke, and a touching face rub. Nose to nose? I think this is supposed to be scary but it's more disturbing.

Elsewhere backstage, Matt Hardy (version one) is walking and talking to Shannon Moore. "You know Shannon, you keep screwing up again and again and again. But if there's one thing I have to remember. This past Sunday, at the Royal Rumble, I actually saw a little bit of hope in you - I actually saw a glimpse of Mattitude within you. You know, you put your body on the line whenever I was in trouble in the Royal Rumble. You actually kicked me back in when I was about to fall out. You did everything right, except for one crucial thing - where were you when Brock Lesnar F5 me out of the ring and to the floor? You were supposed to catch me, and because you you didn't, it's your loss that I lost the Royal Rumble. What do you have to say for yourself? [Shannon says nothing, but shrugs.] Exactly! It's still painfully obvious that you have a lot of lessons left to learn in Mattitude. So tonight I want you to get start by getting jakked, by getting amped, and nothing would make me happier than you giving Nunzio a Mattitude Adjustment! So go get ready for your match, go on. [Shannon walks in the door Matt was pointing to without really looking at where he's going - the Women's bathroom. A scream can be heard as Matt walks down the hallway - where Nunzio is working out.] "Hey, Nunzio, I want to ask a little favor. You know my Mattiude follower, my little MFer, Shannon Moore?" "You want me to teach him a lesson?" [Nunzio tells this long boring story to establish that he's still Italian - about how he had a cousin that kept screwing up - shoplifting - and after Nunzio got sick of bailing him up, he took him in the back yard and deal with him "the family way."] "I guarantee you one thing, he never shoplifted again!" "That's a great story. So you thing you can teach Shannon a lesson?" "Pfft." "Great, because nothing would make me happier than if you would give Shannon a Mattiude Adjustment." "My pleasure." Matt makes the hand signal and leaves.

Tony Chimel reminds us about the surprise to come and a new match for tonight: Kurt Angle vs Rey Mysterio Jr.

Dead Man Walking - I don't think the Undertaker here is to wrestle. Did they retool the lyrics? I don't remember. Probably not. He's taking his time with the posing, this being his return at all. Cole says he's here for serious business, must be serious posing business! Or maybe not. You want talk? "It's been a while. I'm not gonna waste a lot of your time by me standing out here talking, because in my opinion, there's way too much talking and not enough ass-kicking. I've been siting at home the last three months thinking about nothing besides ass-kicking. I've got one thing on my mind tonight, and it's revenge. I'm here tonight with nothing but bad intentions. There's one guy - you know who it is - and believe me, I'm gonna get me some. Those of you who don't remember what happened, I'm gonna roll some footage and refresh everyone memory." 3 Months Ago, Show throws Undertaker off the stage. "Now there's an old saying that what does not kill you makes your stronger. Big Show, I'm gonna give you the opportunity you didn't give me. I'm gonna let you walk down face to face to get your ass kicked. And I suggest you make that walk, because if I've got to come back there, son, you won't walk out tonight." Waiting. "I got nothing but time, boy." Still nothing. Here we go - it's the Big Show, but he seems too well dressed to fight. "Look, I could come down this ramp, and the beating I threw on you three months will be nothing compared to the beating I throw on you tonight. Now you know if I walk down this ramp, one of us isn't coming back up. Now just in case that one of us not king it back up the ramp happens to me, see I have what my agent likes to call 'a contingency plan'. So you know what? I'll come down to this ring [takes off his sport coat], right now, right here, in Albany, NY. But, oh, no, it's not going to be me. Your challenge, Mr. Undertaker, is going to be answered all right, your challenge is going to be answered by the A-TRAIN!" Show did a dramatic yell and point but no one really cared. Hmm, I guess this is a match?

Undertaker vs A-Train - Brian Hebner must've been hanging out with Chimel, because he's here all of the sudden. There's the bell. A-Train's BaldoBomb is the Derailer, okay. A-Train is awful oily. Lockup. Undertaker with a side headlock, Albert tries to power out, shoots him in the ropes and charges him with a shoulderblock. Talking trash but Undertaker punches him from the mat. Corner whip, reveres, A-Train choo choo corner splash, clothesline as Undertaker stumbles out one two NO. Rubbing a forearm in the face. Kick. Whip, elevated bearhug, actually lifting Undertaker up in the air. Undertaker does manage to slip back down to his feet quickly, then starts punching his way out. Punches to the midsection, punches to the head, off the ropes and right into an A-Train knee. Forearm to the back. Undertaker with a right. A-Train with a right. Taker with more rights. A-Train with a right. Whip, A-Train right hand misses, Undertaker with the jumping clothesline. Big boot. One two no. A-Train rolls out, Show follows with punches. Smash into the desk. Thrown in. Undertaker drags A-Train's head out over the apron. Running apron elbow smash to the head. Elbow to the head. Undertaker going to the apron - legdrop on the apron! A-Train grabs his throat and rolls away in lots of pain. Undertaker with a corner clothesline. Replay of that legdrop. A-Train corner whip, corner clothesline. Armbar. Old School. Calling for it - goozle, chokeslam! One two NO. Announcers are surprised but it's not the Last Ride. When did Big Show stop watching this? He's not on the stage now. Oh, speaking of the Last Ride, it's apparently time - no, backdrop. Off the ropes, A-Train splash misses. Taker up with rights. Whip, clothesline misses, A-Train stops and turns, Derailer one two NO! That's probably not a good sign. Right. Right. Corner whip, A-Train catches him on his shoulder off the rebound, Undertaker slips behind - hey, it's the Taker Care Of Business. A-Train gives. (5:40) Guess he probably could Last Ride him? Maybe it's a January thing

Later - Rey vs Angle. Next, Edge vs Shelton Benjamin.

Tough Enough finale 3 commercial.

Sean O'Haire lost the coat, so I don't care about this. (:44)

Shelton Benjamin (already in the ring, w/Charlie Haas) vs you think you know Edge (T dot O, 241 pounds) - Edge's theme song was nominated for a Grammy, but Tazz don't care. Circle. Lockup. Shelton with a waistlock, takedown, into a front facelock and cranking it in. Edge back to his feet, turning it, into an armbar. Twist by Edge. Waistlock now, Shelton with that quickly becoming a Team Angle trademark leg scissors trip (I guess I'm supposed to call it a drop toe hold but I'm just used to only saying that on a whip), Floatover into a front facelock, around into a side headlock as he steps to his feet, side headlock. Shelton was an all-American in wrestling and track - maybe he'll go really fast on a plancha one day to make use of that, I dunno. Back to a hammerlock by Shelton. Edge looking for the way out, and finds it with a back elbow. Whip, wheel kick. I think our story here is that Edge probably can't keep on the mat stuff (or at least not as good as Benoit did) and needs to get this match moving if he'll succeed. Kick, off the ropes, swinging neckbreaker. One two no! Edge is no Torrie. Working Shel in the corner with boots and right hands. Tazz sees the same thing I did, story wise, that's neat. Edge with a corner whip, but Shelton reverses quick to a German Suplex! No bridge. Cole puts over Team Angle by noting how they were faring well against Goldust/Booker T, a nice bit of inter-brand gamesmanship that could've been on purpose, who knows. Bow and Arrow around the ring post! That's nice, though illegal. Butterfly suplex one two no. Shelton waiting for Edge to get up - double leg takedown, but no follow up. Waiting again, this time a fireman's carry but something goes wrong, Shelton quickly covering with a waistlock takedown before it sticks out. Again, Shelton's using the mat to his advantage, he's just not following up. Leg trip this time and this time spinning around on Edge's back. Waiting a fourth time for him to get up - he's just trying to have something backfire on him. Shelton goes for the Olympic Slam, Edge slips out and hits the Edge-O-Matic (ah, I bet this is what was supposed to happen before.) Haas yells to his partner, but it may be too late for him. Kick, Edgecuti-no, Shelton spins out and hits a clothesline. Reeling from his own move but then covering one two no. Straight jacket camel clutch! Shelton ran a 4.2 40, that's pretty good. Tazz runs a 4.3, but that's in minutes. Edge is in pain and not moving, which Shelton rocking him a little bit. Edge is trying to stand up out of it, and he's to one knee, up on both feet, and armdragging out. Overhead belly to belly suplex by Edge! Both slow up - Edge with rights, whip, reverse, Shelton misses the clothesline and Edge with the jumping forearm. Clothesline. Faceplant! One two NO. Corner whip, Shelton rebounds out into the flapjack. Edge setting up for the Spear. Edge charges, Shelton with a nice leapfrog and Edge pulls up short in the other corner. Haas up on the apron but Edge quickly drops him. Turning around - superkick is caught, spun around and Shelton heel kicks him with the other leg! One two NO! That was neat. Shelton grabbing Edge by the hair and yelling at him. Corner whip, reversed, Shelton jumps to the top rope and out over a charging Edge, but Edge turns - SPEAR one two three. (5:40) Bad night for Team Angle, as both guys get beat. They look good, though. Replay of that nice heel kick and the Spear.

Cole starts talking about Austin's return announcement on RAW, and being named the Superstar of the Decade from last week. So we get clips - RAW X and the beer truck, though nothing from RAW (1:55)

the TV PG DLV box and Kurt Angle yell at Team Angle. "Do you realize what you've done? Huh? Do you understand that you represent me, the WWE champion, every time you walk through that curtain? I mean, I'm an Olympic gold medalist, for crying out loud! Gentlemen, being a member of Team Angle requires a certain number of responsibilities. And none of those responsibilities include losing! Do you understand - do you even know what Team Angle stands for, do you? [to Shelton] Put your freaking head down! It stands for the three Is - Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence! Cripes! Charlie, you had no Intensity whatsoever out there tonight, against Chris Benoit. What the heck were you thinking? Cripes on Friday. And YOU - how intelligent was it for you to let Edge his you with the Spear? Come on guys, wake up and smell the freaking coffee! It's a simple equation, all you have to do is win! You know something, Team Angle is not going 0-3 tonight! We are not going 0-3 tonight! As a matter of fact, I want you guys to sit right here and watch how I get the job done! That's right, I don't want you to move a freaking muscle. You sit here and you watch exactly an Olympic ch-an Olympic and WWE champion gets the job done! You know something quite frankly, I'm embarrassed and ashamed of the both of you! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! I mean, do you know how embarrassing it would be for me to lose to Rey Freaking Mysterio?"

Shannon Moore (no entrance, w/Matt Hardy (version one)) vs Nunzio (no entrance) - we come in a couple seconds pre-bell. Circle. Lockup, Shannon with a waistlock, standing switch, Shannon with a reverse wristlock takedown (I'll make it up) and version one. He looks for congratulations from Mat but Matt is less than reactive. Circle. Lockup, Single leg by Nunzio, zero. Shannon single leg for zero. VERSION ONE. Another look at Matt (who answers back with VERSION ONE) leaves him open for a kick. Forearm, forearm, corner whip, Kip up but caught and face first powerbomb for Nunzio. Armsmash into the post! Arm smash into the post. What does Shannon have written on his tights. Snap more one two no. Armbar. Shannon manages to get to the ropes. Nunzio with forearms. Shannon breaks free, misses a clothesline, kick, reversed, Shannon charges in to a knee. Nunzio to the second rope - second rope Fameasser is the Sicilian Slicer, apparently. One two no. Armbar, with Shannon again reaching for the ropes. Snap mare. Headscissors sleeper by Nunzio. Cole emphases with Shannon and Tazz makes fun of him for it. Crowd giving this match the reaction you might expect from a match featuring two unestablished undercard heels. Shannon escapes and gets stomped for his trouble. Corner whip, Nunzio charges into a boot. Second rope side kick! Both slow up - Shannon with one arm. Nunzio blocks the right hand and gets in forearms. Whip, clothesline misses, Shannon with the jumping forearm. Jumping leg leg lariat! Jumping spinning neckbreaker one two no. Shannon is pumped. ECW chant is loudest here. Corner whip, Nunzio is backdropped to the apron, Shannon pulls him down by the face, going up - HALO hits! one no he goes to talk to Matt (who's moved to the bottom of the ramp for some reason.) "Alright Matt, Version One! Twist of Fate! AAAAH!" but of course Nunzio reverses - there's the second rope springboard spinning armbar one two three. (3:39) That's the arrivederci and it's gonna be a pain to spell. This would be a better story if people besides me, Matt and Shannon knew that was Shannon's psuedo-finisher he decided not to go for a pin on. Tazz and Cole are not in that select group, apparently. Matt stresses out in the ring. Shannon's new red/black tights are awesome, by the way. Shannon gets up, sees Matt staring at him, begs off, and runs for the hills! Matt is no Shelton Benjamin and gives up the chase rather quick. Back in to state and Nunzio - handshake? Nunzio tentatively reaches it out, and Matt forces it on him. Matt walks away and I don't know what that was about.

Royal Rumble stills: Brock's win (:19)

Sit down interview with Brock Lesnar: "I've accomplished a lot here in the WWE. Anybody that knows me, knows I'm goal oriented. My goal was to become an NCAA champion (thumb raised on fist.) My goal was to make an impact debut the day after WM (first finger - and the second finger a second later.) My goal was to become the King of the Ring. My goal was to beat Rock (footage of him holding the title here) at SummerSlam for the WWE title. (Back with him, he has all five fingers up.) My goal was to beat the Undertaker in HitC. I accomplished all those goals. Then, at Survivor Series, I as betrayed and screwed for my WWE championship by Paul Heyman and then beat by the Big Show. (Deep breath.) Since then, I had two more goals I wanted to accomplish. Hell, I have a lot of goals I want to accomplish here in the WWE. But for now, those goals were - to beat the Big Show, and win the Royal Rumble, which I did. (Deep breath.) I had two other goals I wanted to accomplish. To F5 Paul Heyman, and then, beat Kurt Angle. To beat Kurt Angle for the WWE Title (pause) to beat Kurt Angle for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania."

Backstage, we see Rey putting on his mask - from the back, of course. He walks - and almost gets run over by Shannon Moore, running by and hiding in an equipment turn. He closes the lid just as Matt arrives - who looks for him, then sits down on and pounds the trunk Shannon is in, without realizing. "Shannon! I know you are in one of these rooms, and running is only going make it worse! Shannon, where are you, little MFer!"

SmackDown! Live
Saturday - Saskatoon, SK
Sunday - Regina, SK
Monday, Milwaukee, WI
Tuesday, Green Bay, WI [SmackDown]

War of the Monsters Angle yells at Team Angle earlier tonight 

Rey Mysterio Jr. (San Diego, CA, 175 pounds) vs Kurt Angle (Pittsburgh, PA, 237 pounds, w/Paul Heyman) in a non-title match - Cole wonders why Paul isn't wearing a warm up suit. Heyman was focusing on the Rumble match and Lesnar, but since that's over he's spending more time with Kurt now, Cole tells us. Circle. Lockup, Angle right to the front facelock, Rey with an armbar, Angle quickly reverses and hits a knee lift. Whip, Rey back with the spinning headscissors. Forearm, corner whip, Rey hits a wheel kick on the rebound. Angle charges Rey but gets a drop toe hold. Angle clothesline misses and Rey hits a dropkick. Forearm, whip, reversed, Rey with climbing 'rana but Angle hits a big powerbomb. Angle slow to be able to cover, one two no. Back suplex works. One two no. Knee choke on the ropes. Right. Angle taking his time now - pick up for a short clothesline. One two no. Rey with right hands but Angle pounding him back down. Setting Rey up on the apron and out for an apron elbow smash. Back in, and a vicious looking German Suplex one two NO. Here's another angle as Angle goes back to a chinlock - oh wow, he really did land right on his head! That's scary looking. Front row getting on Paul. Slow up - probably giving time to see if Rey can still move here. Getting back up by very slowly, still in the hold. Rey can't get out, though. Angle tries for the front suplex, but Rey blocks halfway up and uses the momentum to Northern Lights Suplex (release) Angle! Rey gets the better of punches, whip, reversed, Rey with a second rope cross body. Cole talking about the match from SummerSlam. Angle misses a clothesline, Rey hits another wheel kick. Right, corner whip, reversed, Angle charges into a boot. Rey slides out under Angle's legs and boots him in the corner. Rey's kick is caught, Angle quickly throws the leg down but Rey manages a dropkick anyway. Rey is a little dizzy but Angle is more out of it. Rey waiting for Angle to get up - charge, thrown up in the air but he lands on the second rope (edit here?) and Rey jumps back off to his an overhead headscissors. Angle rolls all the away out to the floor, so Rey's gonna fly- but Brian Hebner blocks his path! They never do this to him in CMLL! Hebner leans out of the ring to check on Angle, so Rey gets an idea - off the ropes, over Brian and a nice slingshot somersault plancha! Tazz: "Who's that jumping out of the sky? It's Rey Mysterio!" Here's a replay. Back live, Angle is in the ring and Rey is setting up - springboard legdrop one two NO! Rey can't believe it. Angle pulls himself in the corner, Rey on him with a right, corner whip, reversed, Rey pulls himself up on the corner and Angle charges into the post shoulder first! Rey looks at him, points up, and gets to the top rope - ropeflip moonsault comes up empty! ANKLELOCK! Rey turns and kicks him away. Both up, Overhead belly to belly suplex! Angle pulls down the straps. This may be it - sizing up  Rey as Rey pulls himself up using the ropes. Olympic Slam no-armdrag out! Angle charges Rey, drop toe hold into the middle rope. Time for a call - 619 is caught by Angle, loading him up over the shoulder, dropping him down but Rey gets free, off the ropes, Angle misses with a clothesline, springboard into the bodyscissors bulldog! one two no! Rey: "WHAT?" Rey points to the sky again, and goes to the apron. West Coast Pop? Caught, Rey blocks the powerbomb and spins around to Victory Roll position, so Angle drops him face first on the corner and falls back into an Electric Chair suplex on the rebound, rolling to a double leg hook cover one two three (7:14) That was pretty good. Angle's not done - stomp, anklelock! I guess he wants to win this match twice to even tonight's record. Edge is out and Angle leaves, but he's still got his belt. Edge checks on his partner as Angle and Paul (yea, he's still here) back up the ramp. Ah, Paul is here to point out there's someone coming down the ramp - it's Chris Benoit and he's after Angle. Forearms and kicks and throwing him back in! Edge ready - clothesline. GERMAN. Edge waiting for Angle to get up - SPEAR! Rey's still down or he'd get something in, I'd guess. Benoit isn't done - how about another German. Benoit gives Edge a look, and they both pick up Angle and put him on the second rope. AH, Rey is back up - 619! Tough being the champ. Tazz is wondering where Haas and Benjamin are but Cole reminds him that they were supposed to stay in the locker room. Play Rey's music as the babyfaces disperse. I smell a six man tag for next week.

Backstage, Stephanie messes with her laptop (sounds like FreeCell) - but all of that comes to a crashing halt when SmackDown #1 Announcer Funaki enters the room. "So, everyone has been waiting all night to find out what Stephanie McMahon ssssssurprise is." "What my what is?" "What is your-" "No, I'm just messing with you, Funaki. My surprise, tonight, next, is not a what, it's whom. But you're gonna have to wait like everyone else. So [backs Funaki to the door]" "Oh." "Okay - but you'll find out next. Next, okay?" "[door closes] Thank you." Stephanie smiles - and the camera pans to show a big poster of Hulk Hogan which Cole goes ape over. That sure is some subtle foreshadowing.

Yep. Hollywood Hulk Hogan returns. This entrance should take a while. Hogan's taking his time posing to the crowd. The fans are into this considerably more than I've ever been. Hogan slams the fans before going into the ring. You know, if this was the Chicago Bulls, they would have turned the lights off for the home entrances by now. I kinda wish it was the Chicago Bulls. I can at least see where they're going with that now. Hogan looks just as we last saw him, minus the blood pouring from the forehead. Loud Hogan chant after the music cuts off. Hogan's not gotten a mic yet so he's gonna milk this a bunch more. We've reached 3 minutes. Hogan chant is louder now. Hogan pretend to Hulk Up to get a longer reaction. So so bored. He takes off his glasses four minutes in, from the time he first appeared to the crowd. The funny thing about that was the crowd wasn't really ecstatic to cheer before he actually appeared, maybe figuring it was a swerve of some kind. Oh wait he's actually got a mic, but I've seen his before and he'll beg off talking a couple more times to get the crowd to cheer again. 5 minutes. I would have liked to see some of this time in other matches, but you probably know that. Tazz: "It's a great experience, man, unbelievable" and I don't know if he's talking about for Hogan or the fans. Cole hypes it must being an important announcement and - sends us to a break? Wow. (5:26) I was wondering how they were going to stretch this for twenty minutes, seeing as we have no main event left.

We're back and he's STILL not talking. Maybe his announcement is that he  lost his voice in a tragic accident. Hogan mimes that he'd like to talk or the WWE is number one. I don't know, that wasn't very good. Hogan chant. It would have been nice to clip some of out during the break. Hogan almost starts talking and doesn't. "SPEECH" chant. Another Hogan chant. I sure have absolutely not missed this, let me tell you. Is he gonna to? "OKAY MANIACS, YOU ARE MY LIFE, I ADMIT IT. You know Hulkamaniacs, I came here tonight to make one announcement. And that announcement is, I just signed a brand new contract!" Oh no he's gonna stall some more. "Hulk Hogan is back jack, and one more time, all over the world, Hulkamania is gonna run wild, brother. But you know something maniacs, I've got a lot of unfinished business in the WWE, and apparently, by the looks of things in the back, I've got a lot of brand new business I'm gonna have to take care of. But this time, I'm gonna do it the right way. This time, with the red and yellow on, I'm gonna do it with each and every one of you. Hulk Hogan and the Hulkamaniacs are gonna march into battle together, damnit! And I don't care how high the deck is stacked against us, I don't care how strong the forces are against us, we're gonna march into battle and fight the forces of evil together, brothers! And I don't care what it takes, one way or another, we're gonna come out victorious, maniacs. But you know something, I'm gonna have to be great honest with you. This just might be our last journey together - but I give you my solemn word - I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN THIS TIME! [cracking up] And if this is our final hour together, let this be the great of them all!" Oh great it's Vince McMahon, looking sorta shocked. I guess he only calls RAW in advance. Tazz doesn't see this as a good thing. Vince is into the ring much quicker, but he seems to surprised to see Hogan there. Staring contest. Familiar chant. Vince is taking his time to talk too, they must've knew they were going short. Oh, he wants his own mic. "I admit, I arrived here a few minutes ago - like all of you, I was curious to what Stephanie's big surprise was going to be, and I know I speak for everyone it this arena when I say - I am terribly disappointed! [crowd goes not agree] Stephanie! Stephanie, I give you the autonomy to run your own show and make your own decisions and you give me - THIS? This not 1985, this is the year 2003! And I don't want to offend you or anything, but I will suggest to you that, uh, Hulkamania and the recently departed Al Wilson have one thing in common - they're both DEAD." [Crowd boos Al's death. There's that chant. Vince seems surprised.] "Well, Mr. McMahon, you've just given me an idea. Seeing as how this might very well be my last comeback in the WWE [boos], I want to make sure I do things the right way. And the first WWE superstar I want to climb in the ring with, the first WWE I want to say nose to nose, and the first WWE superstar that I want to kick to the living hell out of is...YOU!" Vince does need seem to like this idea, and is shocked again. "[growl] Who the hell do you think you are? Let me remind you of who I am - I don't answer to Hulk Hogan, I sure as hell don't answer to any of these people in this arena! Hell, I don't even answer to the man up stairs! I only answer to one supreme being, and his name is VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON." "Well, VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON, maybe this will help you make up your mind -" and a right hand to the head. Tearing off his shirt and throwing it on Vince. Hogan walks up the ramp as Vince tries to recover in the ring. Hogan stops at the stage, turns and smiles, listening to the crowd and posing. Vince looks at the stage in disbelief and anger.

Credits and it's over. Yay.