You know that thing about "never about .500"

TV 14 LDV attitude open - because they had the time over the holiday break, they changed a lot again. Here's the full thing.

• yellow Jakked screen (the normal background with the sound wave moving around and no "Jakked")
• the Rock asks some one to bring it
• yellow Jakked logo
• IN: Rikishi dances on the second rope pre-Bonzai Drop.
  OUT: Steven Regal, waving to the crowd 
• yellow/red to purple Jakked screen
• IN: Undertaker, being evil.
  OUT: Undertaker, Dead Man Inc
• quick red Jakked logo
• Trish (wearing black)
• (purple to green) Jakked logo
• Triple H spitting water
• IN: Ric Flair woo
  OUT: Rikishi staring angrily at someone coming to the ring  
• purple Jakked screen
• Rock, giving you a People's Eyebrow 
• IN: Kurt Angle, ankle lock on
  OUT: Kurt Angle, arms raised in celebration 
• a color inverted Jakked logo
• Edge sliding into the ring (new shot? I forget.)
• inverted logo again
• Chris Benoit smiles despite a missing tooth 
• Jakked screen 
• Triple H shows off his muscle development 
• Bradshaw
• a moving Jakked logo
• IN: The Dudleyz do a 3D on Kane
  OUT: The Dudleyz do a 3D on Essa Rios 
• Stacy Keibler shakes her, um, shirt.
• Jakked logo
• Rock hitting the elbow of People's Elbow on Triple H
• Jakked moving backwards logo
• Jeff Hardy with a Swanton Bomb
• (red) Jakked Logo
• IN: Chris Jericho, living legend
  OUT: Chris Jericho, good guy
• Triple H giving Test the Pedigree  
• part of a Jakked screen
• Tazz
• (yellow to purple to yellow ) Jakked logo
• Scotty Too Hotty in a pre-match celebration 
• Big Show
• really short (red) Jakked logo
• Kane 
• Undertaker riding his bike to the ring, w/Hardcore Title
• (red) Jakked logo
• D-Von Dudley doing the 3D symbol 
• (purple) Jakked logo
• Edge getting a Rock Bottom
• (red) Jakked logo
• RVD Frogsplash on D-Von
• forward moving Jakked logo
• Chris Benoit with a Swandive Headbutt
• Jeff and Matt Hardy posing to the crowd on the turnbuckles 
• (white) Jakked logo
• Lita with a moonsault on Trish
• closeups of parts of the Jakked logo
• Chris Jericho coming off the top rope with a cross body for someone 
• Albert giving the Baldo Bomb to Spike Dudley off the apron through a table 
• (purple to green) Jakked logo
• the Rock with a Rock Bottom for D-Von
• green Jakked screen
• IN: Steve Austin drinks beer
  OUT: Steve Austin with a sinister look in his eyes.
• (purple to green to red for a frame) Jakked logo
• IN: Steve Austin what
  OUT: Steve Austin angry
• One more Jakked logo

Taking out Essa? That's cruel. TO ME.

Spike Dudley vs Scoot Andrews (already in the ring but WITH graphic) - THANKS! Your announcers are Jonathon "Coach" Coachman and Christopher "O" Leary, and I do believe this and any other match we get were taped at the same time as the two last week. That'd explain why we only got two. Circle, armbar, Scoot flips to the ground and kicks Spike away. Scoot up, but Spike gets a single leg takedown and holds on. While Coach is putting over Scoot (!), Scoot manages to get to his feet, side headlock, foot escaped. Off the ropes, shoulderblock for Spike. Pause, off the ropes, tripped by Spike. Dropkick. Whip, reversed, cross body by Spike, one two no. Forearm, whip, Scott tries a cross body but Spike hits the deck. Inside cradle one two no. Scoot begs off (that's a devastating cradle!) then hits an eye poke. Corner whip, Spike goes in chest first and bounces out to the mat. Another Corner whip, this time Spike going back first and ending up sitting on the mat. Kicks, whips, dropkicks. One two no. I like when they show shots of the desk to show no one there. Double underhook suplex. Chinlock with a knee to the back. Slam, no Spike goes behind, Scott goes to the ropes, Spike knocked in the middle of the ring. Spike up and charging with a forearm, Scoot with a high kick to the face. Cover one two no. Coach says he'd never thought he'd see this matchup! Oh, he's talking about Vince and Ric. Backrake. Choke. Suplex. One two no. The (New) Rings of Saturn! Scoot probably shouldn't be using that. Nor Spike be getting out of it. Oh well. Eyerake. Turnbuckle smash. Right. Right. Right. Slam. Going up. Legdrop misses. Whip, reversed, Spike with the charging head to the gut, weird looking 3D-variation (Coach says "mini-Dudley Dog" one two no. Whip, reversed, tilt-a-whirl into a facefirst powerbomb from Scoot. Covering, one two no. Choke. Corner whip, Scoot charges in, misses, kick, run, Dudley Dog. One Two Three. (5:26) We have a #1 Contender. The Rock! What that has to do with this, only Coach and Leary know.

Coming up, the top 5 put downs of 2000. Saturn. But next, Smackdown clips.

Triple H return promo #1. Actually, they talked about to start off the show, so this is #2.

Smackdown clips - oh, wait, Leary and the producer decided to insert the clip of Coach's singing instead of what we were supposed to see. Coach is not amused. Moving on, there's a #1 contenders match. Or there will be if Leary stops singing.

Another look back later. And Vince and Flair talk. And slaps.

U2/Triple H (#3, :34)

Coach hypes it more. #4. 

Best of the WWF 2001 - the Rock shares with us the top 5 putdowns of the year (from RAW.) (3:17)

Best of the WWF 2001 - Trish Stratus shares with us the LAMEST CATCHPHRASE of the year. Also, the top 5 slaps. (2:05)

Still to come, WHAT. Next, Saturn.

Royal Rumble Replay - It takes a stunner for Stone Cold to win the Royal Rumble in 1998.

Perry Saturn vs Vito Denucci (already in the ring, w/graphic) - #5! Coach does bring up that Jericho was in the ring when Triple H got hurt, in case you're looking for that. Saturn with a headlock. Headbutt. Forearm. Forearm. Forearm. Whip, Coach: "What in the world is that?" Me: "A miscommunicated spot", Perry couldn't decide if he was going for the flapjack or the spinebuster and really did neither. Stomp. Elbow drop. Short clothesline. Knee drop. Push in the ropes, head to the gut. Vito thrown out, back to the apron. Thrown in. Elbow on the apron. Head to the apron. Coach goes from saying Jazz is one person he'd never want to mess with to "she's got some back!" which doesn't seem wise. Whip, knee to the head down too soon, clothesline down, knee lift. Off the ropes and into a Saturn clothesline. Knee. Chinlock. Atomic drop. Springboard dropkick. Legdrop. One two no. Chinlock. Up, and Vito with a jawbreaker. Drop toe hold, Saturn lands on the second rope. Vito sets up, hits the clothesline, but must've got hit also because he takes the bigger bump. Snap mare, kick to the back. Fistdrop. Oh, wait, that's the Rings Of Saturn. Scoot used something else. You don't care. Tape out. (3:30) 

What - nice musical selection. (1:33)

Ugh, I didn't want to see that the first time. Or the second time. Or the third time. And they're promising another recap?

Burger King Ric Flair Challenge Of Two Weeks Ago

Vince likes the Nelly Furtado songs and then Austin talks and you saw this on Smackdown. (3:04)

Lugz Shane falls from large heights from Backlash. Hey, why was he fighting Big Show and why was Test helping him and oh never mind. 

"This is entertainment at it's finest" - skits skits stupid skits, from RAW. They're testing me this week. What does Terri pouring beer on herself have to do with Romance? (4:24)

Best of the WWF 2001 - Rikishi shares with us the top 5 kisses of the year. Is this Enya? Suitable. (1:54)

Triple H on RAW hype #6! (:27)

Terri on Heat! Triple H returns on RAW #7! (not pictured: Austin/Rock vs Bossman/Booker T)

U2/Fans Of The WWF. (1:44) That's it.