corp open, heat  open

Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 247 pounds) vs Daniel Rodimer Daniel Rodman (Clearwater, FL, 349 pounds) - This is Heat #461, and your announcers are - Josh and Jack Corepello (sp?). Who? What? When did this become Heat? Jack (Chet? Jech? Jet? Jacque? Let's go with Jech because it's least likely) is maybe the artist formerly known as Bruno for all I know, but it doesn't sound like him. Josh says it's his debut. Todd (who's actually ring announcing here) and Coach presumably are hanging out in Europe all week, so I guess they grabbed Josh and the first live body they could find to do voiceovers here. Val chucks his towel in to the crowd. Your ref is Jack. Rodimer has quite the generic music, still no video, and a new name. That's how it's now. Josh notes that Todd's doing the ring announcing, and that we've got this commentating team next week too (unless they totally suck.) Val not really to lockup yet. There we go. Dan shoves him down. Val gets to the ropes, and the ref cuts up Dan before he can follow up. Lockup, Val with a headlock, holding on, shot off, shoulderblock but Rodman wins that. Rodman cut off again as Val goes into the corner. Val acts scared. Lockup, no, Rodman with a kick, forearm to the back, as Josh goes off on the phrase "back to the drawing board." 

Jech: "Your a guy that's been in the ring - what do you do when you realize you're outmatched in power, what can a guy like Val Venis do here?
Josh: "You become an announcer and sit next to a guy named Jech!" 

Right hand to the head, Dan is warned. Whip, reversed, and it's the time on the Heat where Val does running knee, running knee, side legsweep - no! Dan blocks it, Val goes down alone. Rodman off the ropes, elbow drop, no one home. Val with an armbar, twist, shoulder to the shoulder. Josh (and me) is astounded that Jech actually looked up Val Venis facts to prep for this match. Turnbuckle smash. Corner whip, reversed, Dan charges into a back elbow. Chemistry with this duo is still a work in progress. Val goes up to the middle rope, but Rodman forearms him in the back. Rodman throws Val down off the middle rope, and Jech is all over the back attack story. Val rammed back first in the corner. Rights. Fans doing a soccer chant to entertain themselves. BEARHUG. Val trying to forearm out. They're trying to build Rodman as a monster here, which loses something when he's the same height as Val. He's got Brock's body, though. Val with a suplex, no, back hurts too much. Val ducks a clothesline, lands his own. Back elbow, back elbow, kick, reverse neckbreaker one two NO. In the last ten seconds, Jech has brought up Val being 0-2 in his last 2 and name dropped Rick Rude - WHO is this man? Half nelson slam works. Going up? Well, looking around, then going up. This will not work. All the way up. Looking around. Money Shot hits! One two three. (4:11) Rodman was sure down a long time to set up that move, but I forget he still doesn't actually have an entrance so he can't possibly win. Josh talks about everyone being in Milan. Jech notes that Val's still hurting. Jech oversells it somewhat hilariously, and Josh fills time for some reason. Just 10 seconds of random babbling about what they call ladies in Italy (Josh: "Ladies, I guess.")

WWE Uncut [04/21]: SmackDown 400th. We get five seconds of Michael Cole talking about SmackDown, which is plenty of time for him to talk about how it's making Friday Nights special. I hate Michael Cole. 

April 14, 1992 - Munich, Germany - Battle Royale. Well, this is random. Looks like this was a dark match on a Prime Time Wrestling show that ended up on the World Tour '92 video tape. It didn't air complete there, and it's not airing complete here - we pick up just as Bret's eliminated by the Mountie. Your announcers are Lord Alfred Hayes and - I have no idea. Do you care? About any of this? I don't really care. Hey, Repo Man. We've got him, Duggan, Mountie, Slaughter, Col. Mustafa, Hawk, Sags, and Bulldog left - and not so much Hawk, as he misses a running clothesline and throws himself out. They cut ahead because everyone's in a casual not doing anything move - Duggan gets thrown, and Mustafa must've gone in the meantime. Everyone looking dead. Which, in one case, is pretty accurate. Bulldog does the worst ever kick to the head when it's down too soon. Duggan and Slaughter shake hands as the evil guys regroup. The Mountie, Repo Man and Sags are quite the motley crew. They end up working together to get Slaughter over but he hangs on and Bulldog tosses them around one at a time. He even pulls Sarge back in. This is so slow and not so interesting. Lots of hanging on the rope teases. Triple clothesline back fires, and the good guys get a double clothesline. Repo Man checked, but he distracts Slaughter, and the Mounted gets Slaughter. You know, I think I've seen this match. I've seen matches with Bulldog 1 on 2 at the end of a battle royal, I know. I dunno. Mountie gets the shock stick, but accidentally shocks Sags, and it's all down hill from there. Out goes Sags, out goes Mountie. Crowd goes nuts. (6:30)

Next: Bret Hart vs Rick Martel! I don't think that's new.

WWE My Day Off [04/22]: Cena works out with a contest winner.

April 19, 1992 - Sheffield, England - Bret Hart vs Rick Martel - this aired on 3 tapes, including World Tour 1992 and World Tour 1993, which would seem to be mutually exclusive. This one's joined in progress as well, Martel kicking Bret off after a toe hold, but limping. Hey, look, a Hebner. Bret gets knocked own to his knees, so he starts punching the knee, that's neat. Lot of working the leg. Fans enjoy their England chant. Martel sells the leg, even when he takes back control. Your announcers are Monsoon and Heenan, and apparently this is a title match. Bret kicks Martel when he puts his head down too soon, and they take identical bumps. Russian legsweep, check. Suplex, check. Side backbreaker, middle rope elbow drop, check and double check. Bret argues with the ref over the count - which means the sequence is getting broken up, and Martel does just that with punches. Martel ends up leveraging Bret out, and eventually yanks him back in. Suplex, Bert slips behind, reverse rollup shrugged off, and Martel wipes his hand. Martel picks him up - small package, one two three. (6:20)

Up Next: Kenny Dykstra vs Matt Hardy

WWE Ringside Reality [04/26]: more than you ever wanted to know about pyro. Unless you're some sort of maniac.

Kenny Dykstra (Worchester, MA, 236 pounds) vs World Tag Team Champion Matt Hardy (Cameron, NC, 234 pounds, V1) - Josh kills Jech. Jech just reads WWE.com for all his info, no one talks to Jech, Jech's not allowed to make guarantees. I had to look it up to remember if the RAW tags belts were the World or WWE ones right now. Too confusing. Fans do not like Kenny. Lockup, Kenny with an armbar, twist, crank, BOOOO wow they're upset at Kenny, Matt reveres a to a headlock, takedown. Back up, back down. Headscissors reversal, Matt escapes quick, right back to the headlock and the takedown. Jech confuses ref Marty (who's the one here) with ref Mickie - or maybe I do, who's to say. Kenny back up and forcing Matt into the ropes, Matt shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, under, block the hiptoss, gets one of his own. Scoop, slam. V1 Fist Drop. V1! Dykstra taking a break. Dykstra calling for a timeout! Matt takes this as a sign to attack, and pulls Kenny up to the apron. Kenny breaks free and get as in a shoulder the to the midsection. Turnbuckle smash is blocked by Matt, and Kenny takes it instead. Hiptoss into the ring for Kenny. Right. Whip, back elbow, elbow drop. That was Double Impact, right? One two no. Right hand, Matt wiggling his hand after the fact because the impact was so hard. Corner whip, reversed, Kenny charges into a back elbow. Matt to the middle rope - aaaaaaxhandle one two no. Back to the headlock takedown. This going long? This is apparently going long. Kenny backing Matt into the corner and get sin shoulders to the midsection. Matt turns it around and punches Kenny down in the corner. Matt waits for Kenny to get up, and clothesline him down. He's dominated this match. Turnbuckle smash. Right, right misses, Kenny lifts Matt up and sets him down on the corner. Forearms. Back superplex? No, Matt frees himself from that. Matt going for a moonsault? MISS! Commercial break? HUH.

WWE Seeing Stars (no date given): Timberland.

Looks we're picking it up right where the taped stopped. Matt grabs his left knee after landing, and Kenny goes after it with stomps. Smashing it into the apron, smashing it into the mat. Walking over the leg. Bottom rope elbow drop on the knee. Knee snap. Standing toe hold. Matt's got his shoulders down, but gets them up in time. Crowd is loud behind Hardy. Matt cradles Kenny - one two NO. Matt up, Matt down - Kenny killed him in the back of the knee. Stomping on the knee. One two no. Choke on the middle rope. Josh is the master of segues here. Leg stretched around the middle rope. How about the top rope. How about not boring me, how about that? Crappy short clothesline, rolling into another just the same - I think these are on Matt. Toe hold! Yea, I'm really concerned Matt's about to lose a toe hold. The Italian fans are nice for getting into it. Matt kicks Kenny off, and Kenny goes all the way out. Kenny back in, but Matt up and limping. Clothesline, rights, bulldog. Matt rolls over to count, one two no. Side Effect one two NO. Matt uses the ropes to get back to his feet. Is he going up? Middle rope. Downfall Raindrop! One two no. Matt calling for the end. Kick AAAA NO, Kenny single leg takedown into a half crab. Will Matt give? He's in real trouble now, but he's moving. Rope is an arm's reach away - and he's got it. Kenny holds on for a four count, but that won't give him the win. Stomping the knee. Measured right. Now's not the time to stretch Matt's knee around the ropes - oh, Kenny setting him up and going to the ropes. Flying nothing gets a boot,  Matt limping, Twist Of Fate! Hook the leg one two three. (10:02) Matt keeps selling the leg! GIVE HIM THE BELT

That's it.