to state the obvious: funny how how WWE hypes everything it can think of for the "8 Days A Week" bit, including WWE 24/7 and a random Divas Special on wwe.com (you know, the thing no one watched when it was actually on TV) - but not this show.

corp open

John Cena: "Guys, gals, small woodland creatures who just happen to have internet access, thank you for coming here with me on Heat. I figure, since it's a great week for me - Marine's coming out October 13th, go see it, it'll change your life - but now you're hear with me, and I'm taking this show over because [thinks - does not say 'we didn't tape any matches this week'] maybe I wanted to show some matches, get some match footage, some stuff you haven't seen, some stuff you haven't seen in a while, maybe you want to see it again, to try and swirl around in your head, but most of all, you, the WWE.com patron, are going to see exclusive behind the scene's footage of the Marine. Thank you for turning into WWE.com's Heat.

Heat open. For what it's worth, we hook up the wireless router in the big oak tree.

Your hosts for this #433rd Heat are Todd and - no one? I guess they used up the cohosting budget with Cena's monologue. Coach is still smelling like the trash, which I can't actually smell thru the computer monitor, but wouldn't be fun for the TV crew. Marine Marine Marine Marine - I wonder if Orton will like this movie?

Vengeance 2002: Chris Jericho vs John Cena. Todd says this is "Y2J versus the Dr. of Thuganomics", but this match pre-dates event that, when Cena's just some guy in two toned shorts and Ruthless Aggression was a horrible failure as a catchphrase. Cena was just a guy who almost beat the top guys and this was the rare occasion where they made that work, and since he was working with Jericho and Angle, the wrestling seemed fine. And then they kinda forget about him till he rapped in a bus in England, and things changed. Look, Jericho's beard. We're getting all of the match here, and why not. You know, now that I think about it, I'm kinda hoping this PPV's buy rate will tank (everything seems to get the same number, so I don't know if that's likely), and someone gets the urge to unload the bank account and give Jericho what it'd take to come back. Breakdown is actually called by Michael Cole. He's the King Of The World, you know. Cole gets a cookie every time he refers to Cena as a rookie, I think. If they actually called more of the action, they wouldn't be so annoying when they're pushing the story. This is actually not a bad match. Cena uses an Oklahoma Roll! Why doesn't he do that now? (Because he's not a plucky rookie, I guess.) Whoever was choosing the camera must've not thought Jericho was going to make the Y2Jsault, because they were preemptively hiding it till it actually hit. Y2J passes up a pin and tries for the Walls of Jericho, and Cena surprises him with a rollup. (6:34)

No Mercy: Kennedy vs Undertaker

The Marine behind the scenes: oh my, John Cena's name in the movie is John! How did he remember that. Is Kelly supposed to be throwing punches? I'm not sure what that was. (1:14)

Todd has seen the movie, and it's Great. Shocking. Also Great is John Cena's CD 

Video for Right Now - the kinda song that should be on the 3rd CD when you're looking back, not the second single for the first CD, but whatever. (3:44)

WWE Fantasy: Carlito. Did JR actually say these lines, or did they remix some commentary from a video game? 

The Marine: how awesome is the lead character? Incredibly Awesome. They're really getting their money's worth lots out of DVD extras. (1:46)

Todd segues to WM21

WM21: JBL vs John Cena [WWE], joined in progress: Whoa, they really need to dub in some fake crowd noise here. JBL must've put the sleeper hold on all the fans before he put it on Cena. Actually, Nick Patrick, that looks like a choke. It's so bizarre seeing the crowd completely dead during a John Cena match, considering the last 12 months and all. Things I think about during this match, instead of the match: that's really a clean mat. Do you think they break out a new one for WrestleMania? I guess that makes sense. People start to wake up on the comeback, though he's had better comebacks. Even the backlash is quieter here. They do explode when he gets the FU, and I think that might have as much to do with the end of JBL as anything. (6:07)

WWE Mobile Ringtones.

The Marine: the action. They like the chokeslam. (1:22)

Todd talks about Cena on RAW, beating everyone and defending his title in a Elimination Chamber match - only for Edge to beat him immediately after. And now, they've fought a bunch.

RAW: Edge vs Cena [cage, WWE], highlights. This was pretty good, this feud's been great - maybe feud of the year? It's kinda weird how everyone loves Edge now; I guess his mistake wasn't hooking up with Lita, it was not hooking up with Lita sooner. I hope we've all learned that important lesson. I still don't get why Murdoch and Cade cared if Edge wins. Maybe the International Brotherhood of Bad Guys is back up and running? (4:21)

Todd raps. And gets booed. YAY.

RAW: three hour special Family Reunion
The Marine: Friday, October 13th

The Marine trailer. Will someone please shoot this guy. Please. The bad guys are very much into blowing things up in the movie. (2:18)

That's it.