Was it just me, or were WWE.com's video's not working right this weekend? No play/stop button and assorted weirdness. Perhaps it was just the assorted weirdness on my computer, but who can say.

corp open. show open. 

Matt Striker (who knows, who cares) vs - because this is a truly weird matchup, I will pay attention to a Striker match for once. Maybe. "Settle down, students, settle. Oh, do you smell that? Does anyone here smell that? I know what the smell is - that smells like the end of summer. It's time to go back to school, young people. The smell of freshly printed textbook, the smell of brown bagged lunches. You know, I'm reminded of the great Roberta Flack, who once sang, [singing] 'The closer I get to school/the feeling comes over me.' As a matter of fact, I smell another lesson coming on right now. Thank you. You see, I am a lot smarter than you-" Ah, now they are, because Rob Conway has jumped him from behind!

Matt Striker vs Rob Conway - you can tell Conway's a face here because they didn't play his music. Also, yet another new low and new tights? Right hands, and Rob seem angry for some reason. Whip, back elbow, and Striker needs a moment to take off his sweater. Rob's not intent on giving him a moment, and chases him around the ring. What's got into Conway? Let's pause to note this is Heat #426, your jokers with microphones are Coach and the Makeout King, and Striker just referenced a #1 hit song...from 1978. Way to go. Back in the action, Striker comes in, goes over Conway, and into a hiptoss. Way to have a plan. Speaking of a plan, Todd remembers that Conway is desperate to have a win, and I've just remembered Striker kept on walking out Conway in tag matches back on RAW (weeks ago - way to be current!) Your ref is Chad, by the by. Conway follows Striker out, but gets an eye poke and windup clothesline. Striker finally takes off his sweater and throws Conway in. One two NO. This is really going to suck when Conway loses. Axhandle drop. Fist drop. Choke on the mid rope. "Is this your hero?" Coach basically says no. Conway bent around the ropes and sent up for a dropkick. He lads up side down, so Conway can add a sliding dropkick. Conway falls to the apron, and luckily not to the floor. Striker pulls Conway over the apron and punches him a bit. Conway slow recovering, and the ref checks on him, so Striker removes - the bottom turnbuckle? Why the bottom turnbuckle? Striker comes over to Conway and ends up getting punched a bunch. Striker is rolled in, but kicks the middle rope as Conway straddles it. With Conway still entangled in the ropes, Striker gives him the Golden Rule (Conway has a hard time selling it from his current position.) One two no, bad time for you finish. Neck vice. Wacky neck vice, even. Conway trying to rally back and the crowd with him. Right hands by Conway. Striker fight back, and it's a punch exchange. Conway goes down to one knee, Striker tries a running kick, Conway catches, spins him, and beats him up with more punches. Whip, reversed, jumping clothesline (should probably stay on the shelf.) Conway to the middle rope, leg lariat one two NO. What's it going to take for Conway to win? He doesn't seem to thrown off by not getting two. Conway with a kick, and corner punches. One two three four - shoved off, Conway back up, one two three four five six (which would be ten, but the fans aren't counting it like that), Striker shoves Conway off, Conway charges again, Striker unconvincingly pulls him all the way down head first into the bottom turnbuckle (why the bottom turnbuckle?), right in front of the ref. Striker puts his feet on the ropes, one two three. (4:25) That's what Conway gets for being a good guy. Why the bottom turnbuckle?

SummerSlam: DX

Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (532 pounds) vs Damien Wayne & Chris Escobar (already in the ring, Charlottesville, WV, 432 pounds) - What an exciting summer it's been for Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch:

06/17: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch beat Scott Fowler & Jonathan McCulley
06/24: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch beat Jeff Star & Dave Danger
07/15: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch beat Preston James & Scott Commodity
07/22: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch beat Jakus Plisken & Cameron Bates
07/29: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch beat Val Venis & Gene Snitsky
08/12: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch beat Val Venis & Gene Snitsky

Truly, memorable days, each and every one. Todd says Cade & Murdoch are feeling disrespected. Cade will start, let's say Wayne. Wayne puts on a headlock, and takes a big back suplex. Cade picks him up, forearms him down. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat! Holy carp, Todd's actually telling which guys is in the ring. Yea for doing what you should be doing. Tag to Murdoch. Whip, inverted atomic drop, hold for Murdoch's really big boot. Murdoch talks trash and slaps Damien Wayne for being there. Murdoch yells at him to get up, and throws him into the corner. Guess Trevor wants the other guy, and Chris Escobar comes in firing with punches. Trevor knocks him down with one of his own. Stomps. Boot choke. Whip, back elbow. Tag to Cade. Jawbreaker, Cade reverse neckbreaker, Cade off the ropes elbow drop. Cade backs up, sets himself, walking elbow drop. Turnbuckle smash. Cade tag in Trevor, and Trevor whips him into Damien in the corner. Trevor with a back suplex into a side slam. Elbow drop one two no. Tag to Cade. Hard chop for Escobar. Whip, Cade's head down too soon, and Chris kicks it. Cade just gets him angry and pounds Escobar in the mat before pounding him with fists. Cade gets in the refs' face for good measure. Tag to Trevor, holding Chris for a Trevor punch. Lots of crossface forearms. Corner whip, Trevor charges into a back elbow. He charges again into a back elbow. And Chris wanders out of the corner into a clothesline. Tag to Cade. Cade taking his time. Suplex. One two - Cade lets go, to watch Damien get run over by Trevor. Sour And Sour one two three. (4:40) 

SummerSlam: SmackDown's Title match. No, really.

Hogan on RAW. You really want to show this? Ah, it's going ot be very edited. Like the crowd reaction, too, they just keep the music playing over the crowd. They sadly do not show the whip.  (1:45)

SummerSlam: hot dog. This is actually semifunny and I haven't seen it; typical. Finally, I know why they threw Coach in the pool! (besides for being Coach.)

Shelton Benjamin (Orangeburg, SC, 248 pounds) vs  Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 234 pounds) - Val throws his towel - and a guy catches it. And is thrilled. Your ref is Jack. Lockup, Both men into the ropes, Shelton demands a break. Circle. Lockup. Val with a headlock, shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, under, Shelton back with a shoulderblock off his own. Shelton over, into a Val hiptoss, Shelton with an armdrags, Val with an armdrags, Shelton with a zero leg trip, Val with  zero leg trip, Shelton sorta kips off and there's a standoff. Shelton claps, Val offers a handshake and gets slapped in the face. Val's dumb! Crowd really gets on Shelton for it. Whip, reversed, running knee by Val, let's get in the other one, Russian legsweep is escaped, and Shelton shoves Val off into the ropes. Shelton misses a clothesline, puts his head down too soon (sort) and Val gives him a Russian legsweep. Mounted punches. Todd and Coach bring up the actual fight between Batista and Booker; very odd for them to mention first on Heat of all places. Shelton escapes to the apron, Val tries to boink him into the post, Shelton puts on the break sand slams Val's arm into the post, and then smashes him into the post for good measures. Shelton back in and working on the left arm. Hammerlock, and the exposed shoulder is rammed in the corner. How about another corner. Armdrag, armbar, Val leans down for a couple of twos. Shelton with a knee drop to the shoulder. Top wristlock. Val Battling back with right hands. Whip, no , Shelton holds on the ropes and Val cranks his arm in the process. Armbar takedown one two NO. Top elbow lock by Shelton. Val leaned down one two no. Val down, one two no. One two no. Val trying to draw from the crowd, and the crowd coming back with him. Val punches free. Shelton stops that with a knee. Whip, reversed into a short kick, swinging neckbreaker by Val. Both men up slow, and Val's left arm is still bugging him. He can still punch with his right, and so he does. Off the ropes, clothesline. Back elbow, running punch. Whip, reversed into a Shelton sleeper, Val of course reverses it right into the back suplex powerbomb one two NO. Shelton backs into the corner, Val goes after him, Shelton takes him down and puts his feet on the middle rope, one two Jack Doan caught it. Shelton argues it, Shelton goes back after Val with a kick. Short clothesline ducked, and Val lands the half nelson slam. Is he going up? I think he's going up. He probably should rethink this. Remember when he had a reverse figure four. He doesn't right now? Shelton up, running to the corner, leaping to the top rope (!) and getting punched right down. Val in position. Top rope, money shot connects, but Val bounces off! His elbow is killing him, and it takes him a moment to crawl over, one two NO! Val's eyes go wide. He can't believe it, but he should probably just give up now. He's not going to, and picking up Shelton with one arm (which isn't easy.) Shelton quick reverse, T-Bone one two three. (7:35) Shelton's the victor, though both guys look dead. Shelton doesn't look like he quite believes how much it took, and keeps looking at Val as he leaves - oh no, he's not leaving without getting in another stomp.

That's it.