for scorekeeping purposes: they've started releasing Heat and Velocity simultaneously the last couple weeks, but I haven't been tracking the WWE website often enough if that means they're both coming out on Friday or Saturday. One of these recaps is listed off by a day or so - not that it much matters, or will be lasting that way much longer.  

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Rob Conway (Atlantic City, NJ, 230 pounds) vs Charlie Haas (Dallas, TX, 249 pounds) - Todd is still alone for this #413 and now even he doesn't care about it any more. Conway, on the other hand, hasn't given up - he's singing the song and pantomiming along at an excellent rate. Todd brings up the 98% Fat Free line ("Is it true? No." well then!), and speaking of things making surprising  comebacks, Conway's hair is no longer blond. According to a graphic, you can buy Haas' theme music, "Pay the Price" by Eric & the Hostiles, exclusively on iTunes. Check yourself - you sorta can't, you need to buy the whole album to get it. Your ref is Jack. Todd non-segues into a Triple H discussion so abruptly, it makes you miss Coach. Haas gets a quick two count off the lockup. I'm guessing someone has a sign they're not supposed to have opposite the hard camera, because we're treated to ringside cameras to start this match (and they did a super zoom in on Conway during his entrance - to crop something out?) Lockup again, around and around they go, into the ropes, who know. Shove. SHOVE. Conway gets a headlock, back with a shoulderblock. Conway takes a leisurely path to following up and gets kicked away. Todd is hot for these guys bodies. (Wrestling is gay.) Haas with an armbar - nah, I guess that's a wristlock. No one here is in any position to inform us. Conway tries to get the ropes, get stopped short, and comes back with a back elbow. Forearm. Kick. Whip, hiptoss is blocked, Haas does one of his own, armdrags, dropkick, and Conway's going to think this over. From that angle, Conway's hair is still blond. Maybe he darkened it? Maybe I'm just getting tired of looking at a 4 inch by 4 inch screen where things look bad. Haas chases Conway back in, Haas misses the clothesline, Haas misses the dropkick (Conway has the ropes). Conway takes his time following up - kick to the back. Conway lifts Haas up, and Haas breaks free with a jumping knee which really could use a shaper angle. Conway backs in to the corner, and Haas rushes into the back elbow. Todd notes that this is the fourth time we've seen that spot this match, which tells you what kind of time filing he's doing. Crowd is chasing Charlie. Conway answers this by back suplexing Charlie on top of the top rope, causing him (if you'll make believe for a second) to bounce face first into the mat. Conway tells the crowd to shut up, and they kinda do. Spine kick. One two NO. Kick to the spine. Hard corner whip. Chinlock. Crowd chanting for Charlie again? Charlie elbows and headbutts free. Whip, punch misses, Conway kicks him and there's the swinging neckbreaker. One two no. Conway wants 3 to be 2, but no. Hey, how about another spine kick. Choke on the mat. Kneeling surfboard. Todd needs to keep talking here, unless he really wants us to hear Conway and Haas call spots and get time cues. (Wrestling is fake.) Haas fights up, Conway fights the other way, but Haas' new punching skills give him the edge - till they don't, and then he boots Conway. Clothesline. Back elbow. Whip, backdrop. Haas returns the spine kick. And another. And another. Okay, now you're about even. Kick to the chest to balance it out. Scoop, layout, slop drop one two three. (5:50)

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Victoria (Los Angeles, CA) vs (Cheerleader) Melissa Anderson (Las Vegas, NV, already in the ring) - She still has the slowed down heel music, but Todd's doing the "whether you love her or hate her" bit they do when someone's turning face. Then again, they announced Melissa as a hometown person, telling the people who to cheer for. If you want to over think it (yes), the young woman across the ring is a younger, better (and less knee damage-d) version of her. Your ref is Mickie J. Lockup, and Victoria shoves Melissa away. Lockup, Victoria backs Melissa in the corner. Break - no, Victoria will slap here. Okay, never mind about that face stuff. Lockup, Melissa with an armbar, cranking the arm, flipping Victoria over on her back, and falling to the mat to crank it once more. Melissa clips and gets the crowd cheering - though she gets some boos? _ Melissa off the ropes, into a huge powerslam, one two NO. Victoria kicks her in the head. That's just not nice at all. Victoria with a hair pull Gory Stretch sorta move. Victoria drops Melissa hard, and kicks her over. Hanging suplex? Yea, though it doesn't last for long. One two NO. Melissa is screaming on every kick out. Victoria with a bodyscissors choke? Well, I guess they're not calling it a choke, but it sure looks like one to me. Vic lets go off the bodyscissors, switching to a chinlock, and Melissa draws from the crowd to get back up. Elbows, but Victoria throws her down by her hair.  Victoria grabs Melissa by her hair, Melissa punches her away, and Victoria kicks her down. Your ref is Mickie. Setting her up - Widow's Peak. One two three. (3:20) So the new tweaked gimmick is "Victoria, a good wrestler who wins matches?" That'd be fine.

Eugene (Louisville, KY, 242 pounds) vs Devin Nickelson (Saskatchewan, Canada, 285 pounds, already in the ring) - Todd talks to the UK fans - did they forget to over dub a WWE.com plug? Your ref is Mike. As with every Eugene match since the beginning of time (or maybe it just feels that way), Eugene wants a handshake, and gets it from the ref, but not the opposing wrestler. I feel like I could make a list of Eugene bits and string them together to describe any match, but then he may gone tomorrow for all I know. Lockup - crowd chanting for Eugene? - armbar reversals back and forth. Eugene gets forced in the corner, but ducks under a punch and crawls away. Eugene balls up in the middle of the ring, Devin tries a elbow drop, and Eugene moves. JYD headbutts and a peeing, what wackiness. Drop toe hold, and riding him around like a horse. Silly dance. Devin gets mad and then claps. Here's the "heel tricks Eugene into dumbly checking his gear and then jumps him with a clothesline) bit. Choke on the ropes. A variety of chokes. Slam. One two no. Turnbuckle smash bit, YOU, punches, airplane spin makes both dizzy. Whip, head down too soon, Eugene gets kicked, Devin off the ropes one more time, kick, Stunner. (3:26) How does Stone Cold feel about Eugene using that move?

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RAW highlights (2:52)

Lance Cade (Nashville, TN, 282 pounds) vs Carlito (Caribbean, 230 pounds) - See, I think Todd is wrong; Lance doesn't hate women, he hates ring announcers. I think Justin Roberts is with me on this, from the way he gets Cade's jacket thrown in his face and all. Is this another 'rare' appearance of Carlito on Heat? Todd is all over the crowd support for Carlito. Your ref is Chad. CARLITO chant to start the match. Circle. Carlito headlock, shot off, back into a Cade back elbow. Crowd is either really into every match today or being dubbed in. Cade doesn't follow up, and they circle again. Lockup, Cade gets in a knee lift. Back suplex, Carlito lands on his feet, Carlito waistlock, Cade gets the ropes, Carlito bounced back, Cade comes at him with a clothesline, Carlito ducks under, off the ropes, and into a backdrop. Cade pointing at something in the crowd? Let's assume it's a Carlito sign. Cade talking instead of following up. Carlito wants a timeout to recover. Relax. Now they're taking. Carlito slaps Cade in the face, and now they're chasing each other outside the ring. Carlito in, and dropkicking Cade as he comes in. Carlito pescado is caught, and Cade rams him backfirst into the post. Back in for a back breaker one two no. One two no. CARLITO.  Cade trying to fight up, but Cade stops him with a knee. whip, reversed, Cade puts his head down too soon, and Carlito kicks him. Carlito left hand punches, but Cade drops him with a slow discus clothesline. One two NO. Abdominal stretch - he's close to the ropes, but Cade is just working on stretching it out. Crowd chanting for Carlito again. Carlito escapes the hold, and more left handed punches. Carlito ducks a punch, kick to the midsection, running high knee, running clothesline. Another clothesline. Whip, reversed, Cade ducks under the clothesline - reverse tope! (I guess it's a back elbow.) One two no. Whip, head down too soon , and Cade kicks it. Cade forces Carlito in the corner with knees and punches. Cade gets warned out of the corner, and while he's arguing with the ref, Carlito takes a bite of his apple. Chewing it up good. Cade's back over, and picking Carlito up. Carlito rolls the apple to distract the ref, and spits the rest of it in Cade's face. Back cracker, one two three. (4:57)

That be it.