the time is killing. open.
Trevor Murdoch (Waxahachie, TX, 240 pounds) vs Gene Snitsky (Nesquehoning, PA, 300 pounds) in a winner gets to keep his hard to spell hometown match - your hosts are Coach and the magically reappearing Todd. Your ref is Mickie Jay, who seems to have lost some weight. So I guess the face thing is sticking for Gene? I guess this creates all sorts of new horrible matches. Trevor with a headlock to start, shot off, back with a shoulderblock, and down goes Trevor. Lockup, Snitsky forces Trevor in the corner and feels him up a bit. Trevor protests, and then punches Snitsky. Snitsky punches him down, and Trevor rolls out to throw a fit. Trevor tries to sneak up on Snitsky, but Snitsky catches him and puts him in a bearhug. Todd notes that we're only a few weeks away from a Trevor/Kane feud when Trevor has harsh words for Kane's movie. That'll be something. Trevor elbows out of the bearhug, and gives Trevor a running knee to the back. Trevor working Gene with a variety of strikes, but gets a one count on him. Forearms to the chest, Snitsky elbows him away, but Trevor comes back with a bulldog one two no. Trevor's stomp is blocked (!), Snitsky holds onto the boot as he stands back up, spins Trevor around, and gives him a bad atomic drop. Much better clothesline. Slam. Snitsky fired up. Whip, backdrop. Snitsky rallying the crowd. Whip, big boot, but Trevor grabs the ropes and rolls out. Snitsky reaches out after him but get poked in the eyes and pulled backwards over the top rope. Trevor in with a deep leg hook and feet on the ropes, one two three. (3:02) Yay, that was quick.
Eugene (Louisville, KY, 242 pounds) vs Matt Longtime (Chicago, IL, 203, already in the ring) - Matt doesn't look quite as much like Christian here as he usually does. Your ref is Jack. Matt fakes out the handshake. Coach goes for the obvious: "I like to call him 'Matt love you Longtime'." Test of strength? No, it's the test of strength dance. And now Eugene puts it on and hurts Matt and flips him over with an armdrags. Farmer's Roll, check. Noted wrestling expert Coach: "What is this?" One two no. Matt misses a clothesline, and Eugene folds into a ball. Matt elbowdrop nothing when Eugene moves. Horse ride. Bite the butt. Hogan posing. Matt: "YOUR BOOT IS UNTIED!" Eugene falls for it and gets a boot in the head. Armbar. Shoulder first into the corner, out into an armbar takedown. One two NO. Matt not happy with the count. Knees to the left shoulder. Eugene rallying back up from an armbar. Punches. Are we doing the turnbuckle spot? We are doing the turnbuckle spot. Eugene-ing up. YOU. Block punch, punches of his own, big windup punch. Airplane spin. Both men dizzy, Matt swinging like a drunk. Stunner, one two three. (4:21) Eugene lifts up Jack in celebration.
Backlash generic promo.
Viscera (Harlem, NY, 487 pounds) vs Adrian Lynch (Green Bay, WI, 252 pounds) - Coach and Todd talk about the Kane/Show highlights we just didn't see. Your ref is Chad. Lynch looks tiny next to Viscera - Viscera holds back with one arm to the head to start the match. Lynch wises up and tries turning that arm into an armbar, but Vis turns it into a short clothesline. Lynch manages a kick and a headlock, but Vis sets him up on the top rope and pats him on the behind. Hip swivel. Lynch figures he might as well dive while he's there, but Vis catches him and slams him. Chest slap. And another. Chop. Corner whip, Lynch hung in the Tree of Woe for another chest slap and a running hipcheck. Lynch is freed, but still in the corner for Vis to corner smash. Lynch flops out of the corner. Vis picks Lynch up, and Lynch tries to fight, but runs into a side slam. Vis teasing it. Splash, into the Visagra. VD. One two three. (2:41) I approve of all these short matches.
Edge in RAW Magazine
Triple H, Cena and Edge. They edit out the "old man" line; I can't figure if they assume everyone knows Triple H and Stephanie are married or if they're building a storyline for the reveal. (2:05)
Lance Cade (Nashville, TN, 265 pounds) vs Goldust (Hollywood, CA, 260 pounds) - Is that a new outfit for Lance? Huh. Your ref is Chad. Lance wants to follow last week's example and punk out Goldust, but he's cut off. Cade starts the match by threatening to leave. Goldust stands to start the match! Lockup, Goldust gets Cade in the corner, clean break? Yes, so Goldust can feel himself up and spit air at Cade. Cade rushes out of the corner and kicks Goldust. Headlock, shot off, back with a big shoulderblock. Goldust is down, so Cade stomps him. Whip, reversed, into a jumping butt bump from Goldust. European Uppercut. Corner whip, backdrop out. Goldust mocks him, smacks him in the behind, and clotheslines him out. Goldust slides out after Cade, but Cade bull rushes him into the barricade near the ramp. Goldust thrown back in, Cade quickly in after him and clobbering him with an axhandle. Right hands to the head. Cade yelling at the ref for yelling at him. Kicking Goldust down in the corner. Boot choke. Goldust trying to fight up, but Cade stops him with a knee before picking him up anyway. Whip, back elbow, one two no. Neck crank, then a chinlock by Cade. Coach refers to Cade and Murdoch as "getting back together as a team"; they broke up off screen and now they're back together off screen. There must be some magical C-show where all the big Cade & Murdoch angles go down. Goldust pounding the mat and trying to rally. Slowly back up. Coach: "There's a lot of people who say Vince thinks he's the Almighty"; that'd be a swerve! Goldust elbowing free, off the ropes, Cade hiptoss blocked, reversed into a Goldust backslide one two no. Rights by Goldust, whip, reversed, Goldust ducks the clothesline, and they both clothesline each other on the next pass. Chavo/JR talk - I wonder if they'll say the words "Kerwin White" in this interview? Cade up first, at 8, but Goldust gets in right hands. Whip, reversed, Cade puts his head down too soon and Goldust gets in his uppercut. Inverted atomic drop, clothesline, clothesline. Corner punching time: one two three four five six seven eight nine feeling himself up ten. Trevor Murdoch, not content with just one appearance on Heat this week, has made his way for the apron. Don't think he'll be getting a tag. Goldust setting Cade up for Shattered Dreams, although he has trouble getting Cade's right leg hooked in the the ropes. Goldust finally sees Trevor, - and Cade inside cradles him one two three. (5:39) The band is back together! Actually, it looks like Cade has no freaking clue why Trevor's out there, so I think the announcers might be a couple pages ahead of the wrestlers at this point. Alas.
That's it.