the show IS a few days old. open.

Lance Cade (Nashville, TN, 265 pounds) vs Eugene (Louisville, KY, 242 pounds) - your announcers are Todd and Coach, with Todd doing an overdub for no particular reason. Eugene is killing Coach's buzz. Coach thinks he's lit a fire under Lance - Lance is ticked at Coach's recent comments, apparently. Lance doesn't appreciate Eugene's waving. Hug for Mickie Jay. Eugene wants a test of strength? Oh, he's doing the switch hands repeatedly till you dance bit. Lance gets made, charges and - lockup, Cade with a headlock, shot off, and we're doing the "both men run off the ropes forever" bit. Eugene stops Lance, tells him to look up, Lance looks up, and Eugene pokes him in the eye. The minis are barely gone and they're stealing their spots! I want to see a thru the ropes tope con giro next. Lance charges Eugene, Eugene slips thru his legs and Eugene bits him on the butt. Eugene rolls out, stumbles across Lance's entrance wear, and decides the best thing to do is put it on and run around the ring hollering. Coming back in. Cade mockingly claps. Cade raises Eugene's arm up for the crowd and eventually hits the short clothesline already. About time. Cade whips him with his own jacket! Mounted punches by Cade. Cade is angry because Eugene messed with his stuff, he tells the ref. Loud Eugene chant. Whip, head down too soon, and Eugene kicks it. Kick, Stunner - shoved off into the corner, bulldog on  the rebound, one two NO. Todd: "Speaking of Stone Cold Stunners" Coach: "I'm not going to talk about it." [odd silence - I think they're trying to determine if SNME has happened yet.] Side belly to belly by Cade one two no. That's not what he wanted, but that's what he ended up. Cade bulls him into the corner and strikes him down many times. Choke in the corner. Cade's snapped a bit. Boot choke. Cade's forced to break finally. Crowd canting for Eugene again. Cade slaps Eugene and pulls him out of the corner. Reverse neckbreaker - no, Eugene backslide one two three. (3:59) Cade tries to grab Eugene to get revenge, but Eugene slides out in time. Cade can't believe he lost that.

WM22/WWEShop.com

Matt Striker (New York City, NY, 237 pounds) vs Chris Valenzuela (Beaumont, TX, 205 already in the ring) - Todd talks about the McMahon/Shawn video package we just didn't see (slightly more obviously than usual.) The last name gives Justin Roberts for the local is different from what's listed - odd. Coach talks about the greatness of Striker and Striker cuts a promo on the way to the ring; I'm too busy marking out for the much shorter than usual length segment to care. Those are seriously ugly tights. I mean, I'm sorry for whoever made them, but not good. Your ref is Mysterious Brown Haired Kid. Big running boot to the face which everyone sells big but actually doesn't get the pin. This is like every normal match, but sped up for some reason. Yes, he's got the O-Zone! (1:35) A perfectly fitting move.

Rob Conway (Atlantic City, NJ, 230 pounds) vs Viscera (Harlem, NY, 487 pounds) - Coach: "You want to talk about someone who throws the women off with a stick." What? Conway is way into singing his music this week. .com drop-in here, in case you need to know about Cena ring tones. Rob going to start with his glasses again. Or - not - distraction for some punches. Your ref is Chad, by the way. Conway off the ropes for a big punch, but he's scoops and slammed. Conway out, Viscera out after him. Slap to the chest. Charge - but Conway moves and Vis collides with the post. Vis slides in, but Conway's waiting for him - middle rope elbow drop. Elbow drop, elbow drop, bicep pose, elbow drop. Cover one two no. Stomp. Conway poses. Back to Vis, who shoves him down. Conway charges, Vis misses a clothesline, Conway gets him back down with a fivearm. Punches. Walking over Vis. Conway to the middle rope, somehow jumping into a Samoan Drop. That is unpossible! Running smash in the corner. Setting him up. Big splash, tights yank, Visagra? Yep. Let's get this over with. Vis is doing hipswivels while Conway is getting up. Rotation on the Sex Drive one two three. (3:18)

WM22: Triple H vs Cena

RAW contract signing. Interestingly, they completely alter Triple H's message
RAW: you're not worth the time to flip over the table and pull out the sledgehammer like I always do
Heat: I will flip over the table and pull out the sledgehammer like I always do.
They make it like Triple H got the sledge to take on Cena (and not Kane and Show, as it was told on RAW.) Why DID Kane and Show show up? (1:33)

Tyson Tomko (Jacksonville, FL, 285 pounds) vs Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, Texas, 210 pounds) - Coach really likes doing the "Oooooooh, Chavo" line for some reason. Your ref knows Jack, for he is he. Tomko attacks Chavo as he poses in the corner and stomps him down in the corner. EDDIE chant. Chavo thrown out. Tomko out after him after a moment, and Chavo run into the barricade back first. Chavo with right hands. Off the ropes, Chavo slides under, but turns into a kick anyway. Press by Tomko, drop into a fallaway slam. One two no. Again, still Chavo kicks out. Coach wonders outloud if Chavo's sympathy push might be running out after the Hall of Fame. Not exactly in those words. Choke on the middle rope. Choke in the corner. EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE Chavo kips up and out, charge back, Tomko scoops him and shoulder powerslams him one two no. Yanking Chavo's hair. Really loose looking chinlock. Tomko takes it all the way down to make it a bit better. EDDIE chant. Chavo drawing from the crowd, back to his feet, elbows, Tomko stops that with a forearm. Corner whip, Tomko charges into a European Uppercut. Dos! Dropkick. Fired up. Kick, Tres!. Whip, fivearm connects. One two no. Todd points out Tomko looking blown up, and Coach talks about what great shape he's in. Quatro! Whip, reversed, Tomko puts his head too soon, Chavo reveres a suplex into a suplex of his own, hanging on, suplex, hanging on, suplex is blocked! Tomko rams him hard into the corner. Tomko ought to be thinking about his boot here, but he instead pulls up Chavo. Going for another shoulder slam? Chavo reverses it into a spinning DDT. Is he going up? Tomko, having fallen on his stomach and not immediately flipped over, tries to figure out a way of rolling onto his back for no reason without looking like a goof, and is totally screwed. He gets over, Chavo points up, Chavo this the Frog Splash one two three. (4:22) Still no match for WM.

That's it. Come back next week for the big #200 episode (which will probably be a clip show, oops.)