the video package is repeated. open.

Romeo (Panama City, FL, 220 pounds, w/Antonio) vs patience - Todd said today's co-host was Dreamer and I legitimately screamed "NO!" Is that a bad sign? Not even the Heat Throbs party hats can cheer me up. Todd will not confirm or deny his interest in 80's music. Todd does reveal that we know nothing about what will happen at the Royal Rumble, except Antonio and Romeo won't be present. Romeo is going to wear himself out with all that thrusting. 

Antonio: "Romeo, oh Romeo - wherefore art hot chicks?"

That's it, I'm done. You know they're faces this week because all the women in the crowd are hot. Tommy: "I can't wait to go back to my room tonight!" Leave now. They bust out the Throb-o-Meter, which even Todd is appalled by. Cameramen doing outstanding jobs finding women who find this amusing. Romeo again notes that the two ladies are obvious plants. Todd: "I wish I was a barrier." Again, they have them dance with one another and they have no problem with it. The blond one - she's Beth Phoenix, right? I could check but I don't really care - she's a fine woman but this is not quite the best role for her. They tease HLA and tease it and tease it some more and then finally someone remembers to play Murdoch's music. No one can kiss to that twang!

Romeo (w/Antonio) vs Trevor Murdoch (Waxahachie, TX, 245 pounds) - Todd gets in his own self-pleasure joke, because it's that kind of show. Let's see, Romeo wrestles Trevor, Antonio gets to hang out with the women - I think we know who's the brains of this team. Trevor's gotta make sure his dip cup is carefully taken care of. Tommy says "Skinner". Trevor charges, gets pushed into the corner, armdrags, and pelvic thrust in the face. Todd nearly loses his mind. Romeo and Trevor work together for the slowest "one guy ducks, the other guy throws himself out of the ring" spot possible, and Antonio thrusts. Trevor can't take all of this. Trevor mocks it! Romeo rolls him up, one tow no. Trevor getting out of the ring - Trevor leaving? Antonio can't abide getting a win! He charges out to run into Trevor's first. Back in for kicks and knees to the back. Forearms to the back too. One two no. Elbow to the head. Coach is prepping for the Rumble and that's why he's not here. Slap to the back. Tommy talks about his one time 2 minute Rumble performance: "I busted open Y2J Chris Jericho, I injured Bill DeMott - never to be seen again [I wish!], I took out Christian, I took out everyone, and then was thrown out and broke my own finger." Corner whip, corner clothesline. Slap to the face. Tommy would like to see RVD win the RR. Romeo with blind punches which are strangely effective. Trevor stops that with a kick. Corner whip, charge in, Romeo gets up a boot, Trevor catches it, but doesn't block the elbow. Romeo out of the corner, and into a Trevor big boot. That's not enough for Trevor - there's the bulldog. Way to stand there do nothing, Antonio. One two three. (3:48) Todd: "Arguable, Trevor Murdoch is the single hottest wrestler on the RAW wrestler." I guess you could argue that, if you were a moron. The ladies don't like him, but he gets his chew back. 

Matt Striker didn't even get a shot to be in the Rumble, and he attempts to explain he didn't even want to be in it. Someone's had too much time to decorate his chalkboard. Todd notes his eyes match his shirt. Striker again reacts to crowd reactions which don't actually appear to be happening. Wow, someone making fun of George W. Bush on this show, that's odd. Really trying to get "the pot" over as a line - uh oh, feud with RVD coming up! He stole Mike Tice's pencil. Todd: "Thanks for wasting our time." 

Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 210 pounds) vs Jason Jones (Seattle, WA, 217 pounds, already in the ring) - Your ref is Chad. Do you think Chavo's bitter he's not getting the sympathy push? I think I'd be a little upset. Justin gets to roll some "r"s, so this is a good week for him. Your ref is Chad. EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE. Lockup, Chavo with a headlock, headlock down, headscissors reversal, break, back up, repeating it all again, and then finally Chavo gets the headlock to stick. LET IT BE KNOWN: Dreamer makes the first "the Spirit Squad should sing Mickey to Mickie" joke. Chavo shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Jason takes a break in the corner. Circle. Lockup, Chavo with a hammerlock, down to the mat, into a waistlock. Back up, Jones elbows out, off the ropes, into an armdrag. Into an armbar. Chavo spins him around, picks him up, European Uppercuts (1, 2), turnbuckle smash. Scoop, slam. One two no. Waistlock, Jones backs Chavo into the corner (Chavo doing some obvious help). Jason with right hands. Whip, head down too soon, Chavo kicks it. Todd picks Triple H! Smartest thing Todd's ever done. Clothesline, clothesline, whip, dropkick. Jones misses a punch, Chavo kicks him, DDT. Pointing up. Walking around the ring. Dragging Jones in a position. Going up. Todd: "The Five Star Frog Splash" - the intelligence couldn't last. To be fair, that seems to be catching and I wonder if Chavo will keep doing the tribute next week this time. One two three. (2:53)  

main event tag match from another show (1:38)

Snitsky & Tyson Tomko (585 pounds) vs Val Venis & Viscera (731 pounds) - Sign: "You Suck". How will Viscera be thrown out? The same way he usually is. Your ref is Choida. Val milking out the towel is fine with me. Tommy is incoherently saying we all nakedly thrust around after coming out of the shower - actually, that's not much more coherent. Are these women plants? They knew the towel was coming. Tyson and Snitsky wait till after the bell to fight, and Viscera mocks them. Snitsky and Viscera start slugging, so I guess they're it. Snitsky gets the edge with a knee. Whip, reversed, shoulderblock, Viscera wins that. Slam, no, Snitsky slips behind, forearms to the back, tag to Tomko. Forearms. Whip, blocked, and Tyson goes into the corner. Corner smash to Tomko. Tag to Val. Viscera headbutt, Val atomic drop, Viscera spinebuster. That's not a bad sequence. Val with an elbow drop, one two no. Corner whip, Val charges and lands a clothesline. Chop, whip, reversed, Val gets Snitsky, but Tomko gets Val with a forearm. whip, head down too soon, and Val kicks it. Val charges, and takes something that's probably intended to look like a backdrop but instead just looks horrible to the apron. Val gets in a shoulder to the got, but gets pulled off the apron by Snitsky. Viscera is upset and distracting Choida while Snitsky runs Val back first into the post. Back in. Tomko gives him a flapjack on the post. Tag to Snitsky. Stomp. Bearhug, running Val into the corner. Choke.  Snitsky distracts, Tomko chokes. Snitsky charges, and Val rushes into a kick. And another. Forearm to Tomko, charging to his corner, and charging  and caught by Snitsky. Snitsky rams him into the corner and tags Tomko. Scoop, Val slips behind and crawls for the tag. Crawling - just short, Tomko pulls him by the foot, but Val gets in the enziguri. Val swimming towards his corner - and there's the tag.  Clothesline for Snitsky, clothesline for Tomoko, clothesline for Snitsky, clothesline for Tomko, slam for Snitsky, side slam for Tomko, one two Snitsky breaks it up. Snitsky with some bad forearms. Double while, double clothesline by Viscera. Val back in, everyone fighting, and Snitsky manages to send Viscera out. Tomko with a corner whip for Val, Val gets in a back elbow and tries a WOW crossbody, but Tomko ducks under. Val's in dead center of the ring and Tomko and Snitsky are lining him up. Both try running boots, Val ducks, Tomko doesn't actually kick, but Snitsky gets Tomko in the face! Tomko's out, and now Snitsky's sent out by a clothesline. Val goes with him. Viscera back in, and he's the legal man - Viscera Drop. One two three. (3:53) Val and Viscera celebrate like this match means something. Oh no, not the dancing.

That's it.