This feels like the fifteenth time I've watch this show this week. I do not need this much Matt Striker in my life.
Oh no, the ads are back this week. And it's a horrible PSA where you have no idea what they're talking about until it's almost over.
the power is back. open. I don't like the look of that 12:44 segment length, no I do not.
Val Venis (Las Vegas, 244 pounds) vs Johnny Parisi (Long Island, NY, 240 pounds) - your hosts are Todd and a hurting Coach. I'm so happy to have Coach back, a sad disturbing fact. Coach says he's hurting from carrying Goldust and Vader; Coach is awesomer than I thought if he can lift Vader. Coach was totally going to win and become king of the world (not to the mention the road), but gosh darn it, Vader and Goldust distracted him with their suckiness. Next time, Coach is gonna take on Batista all by himself. Good luck on that. Both slobber over the cage match. Tough question of the day: who's doing better, Simon Diamond or Johnny Parisi? Announcers both pick Val; as the favorite. Whatever they're calling Mickey Jay is your ref. Lockup, Parisi with a headlock, off the ropes, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, elbow drop misses, Val gets an armdrag, armbar, knee to the arm. Coach is mad at the 91% of us who voted for a Street Fight in his match. Todd reveals he voted for a verbal debate; didn't sound that way on Tuesday. Armbar. Coach is burying his partners. Shoulder to shoulder. Whip, hiptoss blocked and Val drags Parisi down. Knee to the arm. Armbar to the arm. Parisi punches free. Johnny kicking Val in the corner. Whip, reversed, time for the running knees and Russian Legsweep. No hard cam for this match, which is starting to get on my nerves. Swivel. Mounted punches. Corner whip, reversed, Parisi charges in but no one's home. Slam. Taking his time going up - and Parisi shoves him off the apron with a shoulder to a midsection. Val sells it like a broken rib. Thrown back in, covered, one two no. Three minutes of rib work up. Gutbuster, one two no. Coach is sure we've never had heavier tag team champions; Todd's already brought up the Twin Towers. I'm thinking Undertaker was heavier than Kane is now when Taker and Show won the titles, but I'm not allowed to remember that. Stomp to gut. "OH OH HO HO HO." Stomp. Knee. Knee. Knee. Abdominal stretch - Val fighting it, but it's on. Parisi doesn't think ahead to be close to the ropes - a sign of evil incompetence right there. Todd talks about Parisi working...the lower back. He's totally off my Christmas card list. (Note to self: make Christmas card list.) Coach doesn't know any better, because neither guy has actually been watching the match. Hiptoss, clothesline, back elbow - Val's holding his ribs the whole time, as if giving a hint. Big right hand hurts Val. Chop. Corner whip, corner clothesline. Is he doing ten again? Corner standing clotheslines aren't fun as other things, because you don't get in impact. He does get ten. Half nelson slam is blocked, Parisi slips out, off the ropes, back drop. There's the half nelson slam. Going up. Money Shot. Connects. One two three. (4:41) Look at him grab his ribs. (Note to self: stop hating Christmas.) Ah, I bet the rest of this time is for a pay per view.
TT Recap - well, actually, this is from the pre-show for now. I guess they'll get to the highlights after they repeat the setup. I like the random Todd drop in here; like they wanted to get the line in there but couldn't find someone actually saying it, so they made Todd do it. This is all pre-TT (3:23)
Okay, here's the vote. Kane's number is still kinda high. Tag Team title stills. (:40)
At least they've got different ads this time.
Gregory Helms (Smithfield, NC, 215 pounds) vs Kevin Martinson (already in the ring, Anaheim, CA, 205) - Todd says this is the debut of Gregory Helms, which isn't exactly true but whatever. The real highlight is Helms coming out in a sleeveless robe; he's one hood away from completing the AJ Styles look. New music, of course - they're going to take away everything that made him over and see if he can still be over. Your ref is Jack. Circle. Kevin wants a handshake, because he's still getting used to this Gregory stuff. He gets a slap instead. Fireman's carry, some pounding, and Kevin is thrown out hard. Chest slap. Forearms to the back. Check out those empty seats. Kevin beat down on the outside. Gregory back in to break the count. You might be surprised, but Coach likes the change in Helms. Kevin crawls back and tries to punch is way in control, but his whip is reversed, and Helms gets in something like a drop kick (tilted a bit) one two no. Whip, back elbow. Smashing Kevin's face into the mat. Turning him over to press the point of his elbow into Gregory's head. Knees. Whip, sunset flip, Helms blocks it and punches him. Helms looks around, perhaps distracted by a non-existent Hurricane chant, and Kevin completes the sunset flip on the second try. One two no. Helms is back on Kevin and choking. Coach is not a fan of Joey Styles, but seems to be talking as Coach is going to be part of a three man booth with him. Huh. Helms suplex. Chinlock. Kevin battling his way up. Elbows. Whip, dropkick, but Kevin's got the ropes. Kevin punching again. European Uppercut! Whip, backdrop. Corner whip, Kevin tries a monkey flip but gets shoved off. Discus clothesline! Eye of the Helms? One two NO he pulled him up! Huh. Oh, let's do a reverse DDT headcrusher, and then into a cross armbreaker. That's it. (4:34)
Triple H/Flair lead up video package (3:08)
Black and white highlights (1:26)
Kerwin White (Palm Beach, CA, 220 pounds, w/Nick Nemeth) vs Mike Wellington (Hollywood, CA, 210 pounds, already in the ring) - Coach sings! Your ref is Mike. Circle. He's not Chavo. Announcers discuss Wellington's outfit - they're not high on it. Kerwin with punches and forearms. European uppercut. Kick to the ribs. Choke on the ropes. Kicks. European Uppercut. Turnbuckle smash. Elbows. European uppercuts. You've gotten the idea, right? Back suplex for two. Coach: "Certainly, there are some farmers in Nebraska." Don't ask. Short clothesline. Blowing kisses. Man, Christian is gone for hours and they're already ripping him off. Harsh. Turnbuckle smash. Choke. Followed by a choke. We've gone back to the not-fun Kerwin, haven't we? Maybe he's just not turning it on for a squash match. Nemeth and Kerwin debate which club to use. Announcers: "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mike tries a waistlock rollup, but Kerwin blocks it. Kerwin pick sup Mike - no, Wellington with a small package for two. Kicks and European Uppercut. That loses it's impact when he does it every other move. He's still not Chavo, thanks for asking. Wellington trying to fight up, and doing it with punches. Whip, back elbow. Whip, reverse, dropkick. Suplex. One two three. (4:16) Coach called him Beef Wellington at the end there.
TT Main Event recap in stills (2:03)
Shelton Benjamin (Orangeburg, SC, 248 pounds) vs Matt Striker (New York, NY, 237 pounds) - Recap of Striker getting the questionable pin before Taboo Tuesday. Your ref is Chad. Coach lauds Striker's change. Striker looking for a takedown, but no, Shelton gets him with a waistlock takedown. Boot to the face! Striker knocked out of the ring. Striker thrown back first into the barricade. Striker back in, and grounding Striker's face into the mat. Kick. Right. Whip, back elbow. Striker tries to punch out, but he goes stopped by a knee. Corner whip, Striker moves out of the way of the splash, Shelton jumps to the top rope instead, and Striker shoves him out of the ring, all the way to the floor. Striker's happy with himself. Kick. Right. Head into the barricade. Forearms to the back. Apron smash. Choke. Choke again. Shelton looking out of it. Choke on the ropes. Kick. Choke sleeper - I guess they're not ruling a choke. Striker jumps on Shelton's back and takes him all the way don, but Shelton's still alive. This is obviously a choke as much as the other chokes, but they're letting it go. Shelton rolls towards the ropes, then rolls the other way. Not so smart. One arm - no, it's up. Shelton drawing from the crowd, getting back to his feet, with Striker on his back. Up to his knees. Up to his feet, and ramming Striker into the corner backwards. Striker hanging on, so Shelton does twice more to finally get loose. Shelton tyring to get air, Striker tries to ram him into the corner buckle, but Striker takes it instead. Clothesline by Shelton. Both slow up. Shelton gets the better of the punches. Clothesline. Clothesline. Whip, lift into a big inverted atomic drop. Shelton is pumped. Whip, Samoan Drop. Shelton enthused. Striker leans on the ropes, so Shelton slides out and uppercuts him form there. Shelton up, top rope clothesline. Striker hides in the ropes, so Shelton boots him while he's there, and Striker goes tumbling out. Shelton climbing up, but Striker's crawling up the ropes away form here. Is this how it's going to end? Yea, Striker is leaving and Shelton isn't going after him. (CO 6:05)
That's it.