the power is back

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Gene Snitsky (i'mnotspellingit, PA, 300 pounds) vs Johnny Parisi (Long Island, 230 pounds) - what wasn't his fault now? SIT DOWN SIGN GUY. 300 on the button? What are the odds! Coach thanks God he's still here and he knows we're thanking God he's still here. The ace in this match is - I don't want to think about it. Parisi is a beat or two late on entrance, and the announcers are all over it. Worse for Johnny, Snitsky is all over him as he enters. Slam. Yell. Off the ropes, elbow drop. Off the ropes, elbow drop. One two NO. Your ref is Chad. Right. Suplex, dropping him onto the top rope. Stomping him out of the ring. Showing everyone his tongue piercing. Snitsky out to collect Johnny's carcass. Smash into the apron. Thrown in. Johnny going to do much? Nah. Stomp. One no. Elbowlock. We talk about toe sucking. Crowd chanting for Big Show? Guess so. Johnny trying to fight out, off the ropes, under the boot, cross body is caught. Fallaway slam. No hurry. Picking him back up. Johnny shoved into the corner to get kicked down. Yelling. One kid is getting on Snitsky. Todd, in the context of Snitsky's look: "A lot of fans have turned around. Because they know what's going down." Loud five person YOU SUCK chant. Corner whip, charge in, Johnny moves, inside cradle one two no. Johnny jawbreaker. Right hands. Jumping on Snitsky's back for a sleeper, but he's pulled off hard. Running boot kills him. Kane back on RAW on Monday. Scoped up. Swinging slam. one two three. (3:23)

Still to Come: Sudden Death Triple Threat Match for the World Tag Team Championships

WWE Rewind: Trish b Viscera on RAW - in a strange twist, the mystery woman ATTACKS Victoria. I guess it's a new person and all.

Viscera (Harlem, NY, 487 pounds) vs Jason Bates (Minneapolis, MN, 244 pounds, already in the ring) - Announcers discuss Coach on Byte This. Viscera is still getting undressed after the bell rings. Bates: "WHO'S THE BEST?" Coach: "Not you." Lockup, Jason thrown down. Circle. Jason in no hurry to lockup. Dodging the lockups. Right hands. Knee, headlock. "WHAT DO TO YOU THINK OF VIS NOW?" Back suplex. Slam. Tree of Woe. Running butt smash. Clothesline. Elbow drop. Suplex, Bates drops behind, forearms to the back aren't working. Kicks, chest slaps, off the ropes, into the Viscera wheel kick. Time to finish this? Oh no, I forget the Visagra. Running corner splash to the back. Off the ropes, splash. Todd: "It's the VD - the Viscera Drop!" One two three. (3:05) Don't dance. Don't dance. Wave to the crowd, that's fine.

Still to come: Shelton Benjamin vs Kerwin White
Later: the firing

the Heat Throbs (Panama City, FL, 445 pounds) vs the Hurricane & Rosey (590 pounds) vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (501 pounds) in a Sudden Death Triple Threat match for the World Tag Team Championship - I think Sudden Death indicates "one fall", but it seems new. Todd backs me up on most of that. Justin Roberts is ring announcing tonight, by the way. Coach explains the tag team champions lack of appearances lately as Murdoch being drunk and missing. SIT DOWN SIGN GUY. Your ref is Mickie Jay. Hurricane talking trash at Murdoch, when he should be worrying about Romeo. Romeo doesn't get a shot in then, but does get the first kick in. Announcers focused on Hurricane wearing a top - he's apparently wearing extra padding underneath to protect the arm. Hurricane sneaks in a dropkick on Romero, and scares Antonio as he tries to sneak in. Whip, leg lariat. Armbar, tag to Rosey. Headbutt to the arm. Armbar. Twist. Romeo in a lot of pain, stopping it for a moment with a knee, but still getting slammed. Rosey ff the ropes, headbutt drop. Crowd loud for Rosey. Corner whip, Romeo rebounds out, so Rosey whips him back in again. Corner charge, Romeo moves, Rosey hits corner. Tag to Antonio, who rushes right into a fireman's carry lift. Antonio slips free, kick is caught, Rosey drops it and headbutts him. Coach is making a point about how no one should tag in the champions (they can't win on the apron), but when Antonio does just that, Cade and Murdoch drop off the apron so they can't pin, and the announcers are confused. There's that fireman's carry slam, one two Murdoch and Cade break it up. Both Throbs in. Double whip, double head down too soon, double head smashed into the mat. Rosey fixes his pony tail, then charges the Throbs near the ropes, and eats boots. Throbs throw Rosey to the floor. Antonio, recovering, stumbles around the ring, and gets tagged out by Murdoch. Antonio protests, but he's being forced out. Murdoch knocks Hurricane off the apron while he's waiting. On the outside, Rosey's reversed a whip by Romeo, sending him into the steps, but Rosey is jumped by Cade. This is breaking down completely. Rosey thrown in by Cade, and Murdoch's back in, so we've got the right guys there. Murdoch drops the hammer once, twice, three times! He does not check his watch. Mounted punches. Crossface forearms. One two NO. One two NO. One two NO. ROSEY ROSEY ROSEY. Tag to Cade. Forearm. Whip, double spinebustear, one two NO. Front facelock. ROSE E ROSE E ROSE E. Rosey trying to lift Cade off his feet and move towards his corner. He's done it once, but he can't get any momentum. Cade holding it in for a while. Lifting Cade up, but not going anywhere. One more time - and this time, Murdoch punches in the midsection to make sure Rosey doesn't get a suplex. He's warned to leave, but Hurricane's aiming for revenge - top rope double axhandle to Cade's back. That'll give Rosey a chance. He's crawling the wrong way, now he's got it. Tag to Hurricane. Cade's crawled over to the one corner where there aren't people, so he's stuck. Hurricane with a shot for Murdoch, rights to Cade, corner whip, reversed, corner headscissors. Murdoch on him and punching. Corner whip, charge, into a the bollo upeprcut. Middle rope missile dropkick! Hurricane pumped up. Going all the way up. Overcast - is ducked under by Cade. Hurricane's flanked by both champs - there's the running clothesline/chop block combo. Is that it? One two three. (5:38) Antonio runs in late, Cade clotheslines him and Murdoch covers, but that's not going to do much. Oh well, they're still your winners. Coach says the finish is called "the Sweet and the Sour." Murdoch drops the hammer on Antonio for fun. Here's DDT too. Done now? Sure. Both groups of challengers recover

Next: firing.

I really didn't want to watch this. It has nothing to do with JR, I'm just bred with this whole thing. At least it's shorter. HAHA they still can't show the Linda thing. Way to edit to make it look like Lawler actually apologized. Unless he's physically unable to do it, JR is calling the main event of WrestleMania - everything that happened here just made it more certain. What an awful line, what an awful kick. (2:00) 

"I'm Back." Kane Returns on Monday. The laws of continuity prevent Kane and Matt from existing at the same time. (:42)

Kerwin White (Palm Springs, CA, 220 pounds, w/Nick Nemeth) vs Shelton Benjamin (Orangeburg, SC, 248 pounds) - Coach SINGS. Todd things Kerwin may be LYING because Palm Springs is upper class. This is a PPV Match! Oh, Shelton's going to talk. "Hold on. I finally figured out why you got this so called caddy out here for - it's not to help you with your golf game, it's to hit people in the back. [!!!!] But you know what, I had a little conversation with your girlfriend. And according to her, the problem with your golf game is that you're playing with a little putter." Oh my, I think he had a double meaning there, as indicated by his fingers. Well I'll be. Kerwin is enraged and must attack, as soon as he takes off his sweater vest. Kerwin's kick is caught, Shelton headlock, off the ropes, quick stop, armdrag, armdrag. Kerwin sneaks in a knee, armbar, shots t the shoulder. CHAVO SUCKS. Shelton with a ropeflip escape. Whip, head down too soon, Kerwin tries a bodyscissors bulldog, but Shelton reverses it to a back suplex. One two no. Kerwin tries up Shelton into the corner buckle. Stomps. Boots to the head. Kerwin argues with the ref, and Nemeth gets in a cheap shot. Kerwin with a choke on the ropes. Wave to his peer group. Turnbuckle smash. Uppermiddlecuts. Armbar. Your ref is Chad. Crowd rallying for Shelton. Shelton battling up. Whip, clothesline misses, crazy spinning headscissors by Kerwin! Stomps. Turnbuckle smash. Kicks. Punch - is locked. And again. Kerwin rallying back with rights. Kick, kick, kick, whip, right NAILED Kerwin in the face. Corner whip, springboard fivearm by Shelton.  Shelton with a knee, powerbomb lift, Kerwin slips behind, off the ropes, into a massive flapjack. Nemeth up on the apron Nemeth off the apron, but Kerwin gets an inside cradle out of it, one two no. Kerwin with a right, Shelton blocks it and turns it into a hammerlock, Kerwin reverses, Shelton shoots him off, T-Bone one Nemeth breaks it up (DQ 3:54) Kerwin going after Shelton with an eye gouge. Forearms. Kerwin recovering and calling for his club. Back to the nine iron - Coach relates a story about how it got fixed. Kerwin's setting up for a swing on Shelton, but the club is pulled away by - Matt Striker? Bad tag team match ahoy! I guess he has to be on Heat every week, but this was pushing it. Striker swings, doesn't actually hit, but clears the ring. Now how are they going to golf without the a full set of clubs? Striker helps up Shelton as Kerwin and Nemeth argue.

That's it.