You know, I'll really miss watching the last five seconds of Fletch Lives every month.

Oh, one last random playing of the Hardy Boyz theme, that's perfect.

TV PG LV CC entertainment - Homecoming Hype (2:03) - open

the Heat Throbs (Panama City, Florida, 445 pounds) vs Eugene & Tajiri (448 pounds) - Coach: "It's time to Throb it! [beat] Did I just say that?" Coach assures us Coach will be at Homecoming. Eugene and Tajiri, out to Eugene's music, hug on the apron. Coach: "These two have a lot in common - Tajiri can't speak English, and Eugene can't understand it!" Hug for Jack Doan. Hug for Tajiri again - did he lick his face. Out to - grab a boa to parade around with. The Heart Throbs are aghast! He's doing the dance! He's wiping it with his butt. Jack takes it away, and Antonio is on him immediately to start the match. Kick, right, right, boot choke. Eugene slips thru Antonio's legs and there's the butt bite. Romeo in, he takes a drop toe hold and Eugene rides him. Back to Antonio, rights, tag to Tajiri. Eugene hangs Antonio in the three of woe and stands on the ropes to keep him there as Tajiri ads the sliding dropkick to the face one two NO. Slam, standing moonsault one two no. Whip, reversed, Tajiri takes a kick to the back, Tajiri reverse thrust kicks Romeo off the apron, Antonio nails him with a clothesline. Front facelock, tag to Romero, double back Russian legsweep. One two no. As Todd talks up both of these teams as top contenders, Coach says Hurricane and Rosey had a mandatory rematch clause. Romero with a jab, jab, discus punch. One two no. Romeo runs Tajiri back first into the corner and tags Antonio. Tajiri is rammed into the corner, then brought out for a double clothesline. Crowd chanting for Eugene. One two no. Front facelock. Back up, Tajiri relieving and moving the hold towards Eugene. Lifting Antonio up, and moving a few steps, but Antonio finally stops him with a knee. Forearm to knock Eugene off the apron, making sure there's no tag. Headlock on Tajiri, Antonio bringing him back towards the HT corner. Tajiri tries a back suplex, Antonio lands on his feet and grabs him, Tajiri "kicks" him away (exposed by the camera), Antonio ends up in his corner and tags in Romeo, who stops Tajiri from crawling. Tajiri kicks him away as Eugene rallies the crowd. Now each Heart Throb grabs a leg, and Tajiri kicks both of them - there's tag. Romeo clothesline misses, Eugene with a right for Romero, right for Antonio, Romeo, Antonio, windup punch for Romeo, big punch for Antonio! Kickwhamshoved off by Romeo, right into a Antonio spinebuster lift. Romeo off the ropes - Hart Attack! One two Tajiri breaks it up! Throbs work him over, whip, Tajiri back with a handspring double back elbow. All four up and fighting now. Throbs whipped into each other, but they stop short, turn, charge, and run right into dual Tarantulas! Tajiri kicks Antonio out of the ring, while Romeo and Eugene (legal men, though the announcers aren't sure) fight - kickwhamstunner. One two three. (4:36) I guess Panama City wasn't a stop on Tajiri's World Tour.

Coach is mad Eugene won. Your announcers are Coach and Todd. Coach encourages Todd to say focused on Heat and RAW and not skip ahead to Homecoming, like they will all night.

Abruptly, we go to footage apparently courtesy of WWE.com: Chavo and his caddy out to find a golf ball. Don't look directly at the orange pants. "Hi. As a member of upper middle class society, it's no secret I love a good game golf. And with each round of golf I play, my handicap gets lower, and lower, and lower. And it's only going to get better, because I'd like you all to meet my new friend, my caddy, Mr. Nick Nemeth."
"That's right Mr. White teeing off, chipping one up, or tapping one in on the green, I'll always be right here, by your side."
"By my side, that's beautiful, that's great. And remember, if it's not Kerwin White "
"it's not right!"
"Hahaha. I'll see YOU on the links. [swing] Another beautiful shot. That's nice, that's really nice."
"Got it."
So, Nick's playing the role of (not that) Steve Williams? Cameras beware!

RAW Homecoming Mick Foley commercial here.
UFC Ultimate Fight Night commercial here.
TNA ad a bit later.

Todd runs down the final results from WWE Fantasy. I didn't win (mostly because I forget about my team by week three), so I'm not writing these down.

Unforgiven (stills): Flair b Carlito. We transition into moving pictures for the post match. (:57)
RAW: rematch. And the interview. Wouldn't it be great if they didn't give Masters the IC title because everyone's seen it coming? That'd be great. (3:26)

RAW Homecoming Hulk Hogan commercial here

WWE Rewind, sponsored by Snickers: Cade and Murdoch win the titles at Unforgiven, a lot due to a hangsman DDT to the floor.

Kerwin White (Palm Springs, CA, 220 pounds, w/Nick Nemeth) vs I Hate Matt Striker (New York City, 237 pounds) - Notice how he changed his catchphrase? Yes, Nemeth is bigger than him. Caddy doesn't ride with Kerwin, but walks out behind him - and doesn't get his name on the graphic, so I have to go the website for spelling - except they don't even mention his name there. I'll go with the obvious and be wrong. Coach says Todd is his caddy. SWING. I've never been more of a Kerwin White fan than I am at this very moment. Caddy is now on hanger duty. Your ref is Chris Kay. Lockup, Striker with an armdrag. Lockup. Kerwin with a hammerlock, Matt trying get out but Kerwin has him in a wristlock. Coach: "These are two guys, very polished, very good" - who, Chavo and Chris Kay? Striker with a reversal and an armdrag. Kerwin is frustrated. The polo shirt is off! Kerwin gives it to Chris and surprises Striker with punches. European Upper(middle)cut. And one more. They've standardized the reactions; Coach is supporting him, and Todd is occasionally calling him Chavo as JR does. Whip, Striker shoulderblock. Striker off the ropes, under, armdrag. Striker with (crappy) strikes to the shoulder. Whip, quick reverse into a dropkick to the knee. Nick approves. Stomps to the knee. Striker trying to pull himself up, and knocked down. Nick and the crowd getting on each other. Kerwin stomping the knee some more. Striker in the corner, knee bent around the middle rope. Todd: "Why does Kerwin White need a caddie when he drives around in a golf cart?" Coach: "You don't need to know the answer to that!" Kerwin kicking the knee. This is better than the choking and cheap stuff previously, but I wish we could do more than have Chavo kick the knee in many ways, like he's doing now. Todd and Coach compare their golf games. Chavo charges into a Striker back elbow, backs up, he's supposed to charge into a boot but polished Matt Striker threw it hilariously too soon and Chavo is smart enough to pretend that's what was supposed to happen. Kerwin drops it down, and Matt clotheslines him. Kerwin's right elbow is bleeding. Striker clothesline, armdrag, stupid sub-Charlie Haas pumped bit - oh, his knee hurts. Striker does a reverse Stunner, where all of his impact is on his knees, which would seem to cause enormous pain to a man with a hurt knee, but Striker's about as hurt as he was before. One two no. Nick is giving him the golf clap. Kerwin misses a corner charge, Striker with a rolling armbar takedown into a fujiwara armbar. He's no Birchill, though, and Kerwin crawls to the ropes and gets a foot on the ropes. Both up in the middle of the ring. Right. Crowd chanting CHAVO SUCKS. Whip, quick reverse into a drop toe hold, right into the half crab. That's IT. (4:09) No one says Whiteout. I can't believe Nick didn't interfere; that's not gonna happen too often. Nick shines up a club for Kerwin. Got his golf gloves on. Nick checks the shift. SWWING.

Tonight: Rob Conway vs Shelton Benjamin
Next: the eight man tag. Good week for eight man tags!

RAW Live
Monday: Heart O' Texas Coliseum, Waco, TX [RAW]
Friday: Don Haskins Center, El Paso, TX [RAW Live]
Saturday: Ector County Coliseum, Odessa, TX [RAW Live]
Sunday: Taylor County Coliseum, Abilene, TX [RAW Live]
Next Monday: American Airlines Center, Dallas, TX [RAW]
I completely forget they didn't one for SD! till now. Must have thought it wasn't worth the effort with so few shows the next couple weeks.

The Biggest Main Event In The History Of RAW! Bigger than Rock vs Shane? Bigger than the 10 Man Tag? Bigger than World Title matches and changes? I think actually they're using a valid definition of 'big' (so many different feuds wrapped up into one eight man tag), but it's not the traditional way it's used, so they come off as if they're ludicrously exaggerating. I love it when the Big Show steals Giant Silva spots. (4:39)

RAW Homecoming Triple H commercial here

Juicy Drop Pop Slam of the Week: Matt Hardy top of the cage legdrop. And to think, he used to yell at Jeff for doing insane stuff exactly like this. (I guess it's all good if they win the match.)

Rob Conway (230 pounds) vs Shelton Benjamin (Orangeburg, SC, 248 pounds) - Coach SINGS THE SONG. Heat is sponsored by Bod Man (deodorant), Playstation 2 (video game), Castro GTX (motor oil.) Todd: "And Coach, it's now time for our MAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN event." I think that's all we're getting. We debate which of these guys is the better athlete - you can guess the picks. Did they change the lyrics on Shelton's music? Circle. Your ref is Chad. Lockup. Crank. Crank. Crank. Shelton with a leg trip (glasses stay on!), armbar, standing over him. Hammerlock. Conway looking for an escape, going behind to take over the hammerlock. Headlock. Shelton turning out of it, battling wristlocks, Conway bending Shelton down but Shelton pulling of a great bridge - on his toes, bending all the way down to the back of head. Shelton rallying back, turning it, shoving Conway into the ropes, and hiptosses him, one two no. Standoff. Now the glasses come out! Lockup, Conway with a headlock, shot off, Conway back with a shoulderblock. Conway off the ropes, over, just under the leapfrog , Conway with a hiptoss, blocked, no, I guess it'll work on the second try. Elbow drop, but Shelton's rolled out of the way. You get a good look at the yellow ribbon on the back of Shelton's left boot here. Shelton knocks down Conway, clothesline, backdrop. Conway bailing out, so let's take one last break. (2:35)

RAW Homecoming Steve Austin commercial here

Conway is working over Shelton as we return. Right hands. Shelton fighting back with punches of his own. Whip, reversed, Shelton puts his head down too soon (but almost not) and gets kick to the shoulder. Shelton charges Conway, and tags a hotshot flapjack. Conway choking Shelton - I guess he's trying to neutralize his athleticism by taking his wind. Conway lets go at five, goes back at it, and gets a choke on the ropes. Stomps. Three people chant "Let's Go Benjamin." They can't get people to go with them, but boy are they trying. Reverse neckbreaker one two no. Conway chinlock knee into the back. Conway works out at least 4 hours to day, and up to 7-8 a day. Shelton battling up. Elbows, but Conway stops him with a forearm. Waistlock, Shelton escapes with back elbows, then jumps to the top rope and immediately springs off with a fivearm! He nailed Conway with that. Both guys are down and slow up. Conway up first, his punch is blocked, Shelton's punch is not. Kick, chop, kick, right, whip, back elbow. Corner whip, Conway goes in chest first, Stinger Splash to his back! Conway stumbles out, and gets a side backbreaker - one two NO. Whip, quick reverse into a kick. Conway with a suplex, Shelton stands on his feet, Conway runs into a Samoan Drop. Conway going out to break Shelton's momentum again. Shelton out after him. Conway back in Shelton stops him short. Shelton working him over with punches. Head into the apron. Chad counting at a decent speed here, which is odd - Shelton tries to get in, Rob pulls him out, Rob tries to get in, Shelton stops him, Shelton tries to get in, Rob pulls him back - and that's 10. Conway thinks he made it back in time, but no (DCO 4:08, 6:43 total) Crowd boos. Lillian announces the decision. Coach: "If Lillian Garcia can understand it, so can anybody else!" Rob attacks Shelton as he comes back in the ring, stomping him. Whip, quick reverse into a Shelton clothesline. Rob rolls out one more time - he thinks about coming back in but Chad blocks him. Coach: "I definitely want to see these two get after it again!"

Homecoming hype. "For the Coach, I'm Todd Grisham, thanks for watching Heat!"