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Tyson Tomko (Jacksonville, FL, 285 pounds) vs Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 224 pounds) - not only are Tyson's trunks distressingly tiny, their shinyness draws your attention to one area you don't really want to be looking at. Well, I don't want to be looking at, anyway. Justin drew the short straw this week. Val has words for Coach, but Coach is too wound up in his Greatest WrestleMania In The History Of Time speech to really notice. Every time they say "48 states", don't you really want to know which two were missing? I'm figuring Wyoming and Vermont. For no particular reason except it plays into the next spot, Val decides to do his disrobe on the apron. Tyson shoves him off, and Val ends up on the floor and limping. Nice towel toss to a guy way too happy to have it. Val gingerly walks up the steps and comes back into the ring. Mike Choida is the ref. Lockup. Tomko with a kick to the knee to stop that. Stomp to the knee. Coach: "It was absolutely one of the greatest weeks in my life, and I know everyone in the WWE will say the same thing." I guess that's why they had to fire Rhyno. Elbow to the knee, toe hold, stomp. Tyson simply walks around enough to let Val rally back. Chops, and Tyson rolls out, trips Val and rams his knee into the post. Todd: "Christian certainly has looking very good in the ring, and he hasn't been able to pull out the victories. Why is that?" He is still new here. Val fights his way out of the corner with punches, and trips Tomko into a turnbuckle. Kick. Kick, reverse neckbreaker one two no. Both up, Tomko with the big boot, which would seem to be his finisher, but no one reacts and Tomko doesn't go for the pin. HALF CRAB. Tyson's smarter than half the guys on this show. Too bad Val's going to crawl to the ropes anyway. Yea, crawling, there. Val is able to kick Tyson away enough to get up, and gets back to the punching and chopping. Knee by Tomko stops that. Kneebreaker is escaped by Val as he punches Tomko in the head. Val tumbles away, and Tomko walks into the half nelson slam. Pause to grab the knee. Val pumped but hobbling ever so slowly. Tomko's getting up to, and punching Val as he gets to the top rope. Big toss off the top - no, Val reverse to a small package one two three. (3:46) Once again, working a body part gets you nowhere.
Your announcers are Coach and Todd.
Tonight: William Regal and Tajiri (c) vs Hurricane & Rosey vs La
Resistance for the World Tag Team Titles ina three team elimination match.
Next: Austin on RAW
Boot of the Week: Shelton T-Bones Edge off the ladder
HOF Highlights (2:45)
Some guy not yet in the HOF has issues with Maven and Simon. (6:41) I don't think we needed all of that.
Monday - Moline, IL [RAW]
Next Monday - Madison Square Garden [RAW & SD! Supershow]
Next Wednesday - Berlin, Germany [RAW WM Revenge Tour]
Next Thursday - Aberdeen, Scotland [RAW WM Revenge Tour]
Next Friday - Ediburgh, Scotland [RAW WM Revenge Tour]
Chris Masters (Los Angles, CA, 275 pounds) vs Sean Evans (Pittsburgh, PA, 237 pounds, already in the ring) - Clip 'N Save the Coach: "I can guarantee you this - this man, the Masterpiece, will be a huge part of WM22." Crowd pops for the LA hometown. Are they showing him breaking Stevie's face again? Oh, no, this is just a montage of Masterlock victims. You notice Heat's cliff dived since that Polish Hammer? Without the steady head of StevieCorp, we are all so lost. I was hoping he wasn't going to talk since the other guy was already out here but: "Look at you, you're scared. Yea, you should be. 'cause in case you haven't noticed, no one has broken out of my Masterlock submission. The most dominant submission in WWE. I'm sure you've also seen what I've done to all my opponents every week. So, hey, I'm in my home town, I'm feeling generous tonight. So what I'm going to do is save you the punishment and embarrassment, and give you the night off. Go ahead and walk to the back. Hey, I'll even open the ropes for you, come on. Everybody in this arena would do the same thing. What's it going to be." Sean wants to wrestle. "You just made the worst decision of your life." Todd tries to keep us paying attention by immediately promising WM21 highlights if we'll only stay tuned during this match. Todd also tells us this will be more of a challenge for Chris Masters because Evans is slightly larger than his previous opponents. Coach: "This is just a joy to watch, poetry in motion." Masterlock. Todd: "The beginning of the end." Coincidentally, it's also the end of the end. (1:14) Masters waits for Jack Doan to get to 4 after the match to let go.
WM21 rewind. How many times more awesome Austin's Gladiator bit would've been if he there wasn't a pointless press conference to talk about stupid movies no one's going to care about and it was the first time we knew he was back? I'm thinking infinite. (4:15)
Orton vs Batista on RAW. To me, it seemed like Orton was more comfortable doing his promo than he had be in a while; I don't know if I was seeing something not there, or if was a Last Day Of School vibe. This shoulder injury might be more damaging to Orton's career than the last eight months of booking; even if he did get it all together talking and wrestler wise, he's a guy who's had three long absences due to injury - can you count on him being around long enough to build around? (2:45)
Slam of the Week, sponsored by Elektra: Benoit beats Edge, but Edge beats up Benoit
World Tag Team Champions William Regal & Tajiri (446 pounds) vs La Resistance (477 pounds) vs Hurricane & Rosey (590 pounds) for the World Tag Team Championship in a three team elimination match - Regal's got his own cheering section in the front row. Coach loves that this week is going to end with Regal and Tajiri losing he titles. Coach is also hurt La Resistance didn't ask him to be their backup. Various people who sang various songs they didn't bother acknowledging till after WM are thanked. Mask given. We'll start with Hurricane and Conway. Lockup, Hurricane slips behind for an inside cradle, one two no. Standoff. Lockup, Conway with a headlock, shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Grenier celebrates with some flagwaving. Crowd responds with USA. Lockup, no, Conway kick, right (sorta ducked), right actually ducked, Hurricane slips in the thumb to the eye. Off the ropes, cross body, zero, pose. Conway backs away, and we're looking at Hurricane when the tag is made by Regal - no idea which side started it. Circle, Regal tags in Grenier. Isn't tagging without having done some fighting first against the rules? Apparently not this match. Grenier tries to tag back Tajiri, but he slips away. Grenier tries to charge Hurricane, and gets the back elbow. Coach: "As I was from my suite, right next to Ice Cube..." Right hands, whip, Conway holds onto his partner, Hurricane's dropkick comes up short. Grenier covers one two no. Slam. Off the ropes, funny walking knee drop misses. Hurricane can't get up before he's forearmed anyway. Hurricane sent into the corner headfirst, and Grenier tags his partner and they take turns kicking Hurricane down. Punches. Kicks. Tag to Grenier. Back suplex. One two no. Double whip, back elbow, walking over his chest. Conway salutes the crowd. Back to Hurricane, Conway reaches down and is pulled into a small package one two THREE (3:24) Upset, Conway stomps Hurricane, Regal comes in to get him, and soon all six guys are in. Good guys throw out La Resistance, and the two guys left square off - as we go to break. (3:49)
Hurricane still in as we return, escaping a Tajiri hammerlock and taking him over with a fireman's carry. Tajiri reverses an armbar, flips Hurricane to the mat, and kicks him in the back. One two NO. Tajiri kicks Hurricane, corner whip, Hurricane kips up and headscissors out. Whip, Tajiri back with a spinning headscissors of his own. Tajiri waiting for Hurricane to get up, open hand slap. Heritance is sent into the corner, but turns around with one his own. Slap battle is lost by Tajiri when Hurricane starts using both hands, what an idea. Off the ropes, under, a clothesline, and nailing Tajiri with a clothesline of his own. Finally, the tag to Rosey, but not a particular hot one. Headbutt for Tajiri. Right. Whip, head down too soon, Tajiri tries sunset flip, Rosey tries a sit, Tajiri scoots out and tags Regal. Regal not quite on fire, but kicking and European Uppercutting Rosey. Headlocks shot off, Rosey wins that one. off the ropes, splash, no one home. Tag back to Tajiri, kick, kick, kick, Rosey gets sick of that and shoves him down, but right in potion for another tag to Regal. Regal with a punch to the gut, knee to the gut, knee to the gut. Whip, I think even Regal was surprised that wasn't reversed, head to the gut. Knee, knee, European Uppercut. Regal backing Rosey in the corner, right, right, right, why am I calling them rights when he's using left hands? Corner whip, reversed, Regal rebounds back into a backdrop. Regal tags back to Tajiri, who ducks the grab and nails Rosey with the reverse thrust kick. Rosey still on his feet, but Tajiri takes him down with the wheel kick. One two NO. Tajiri grabs Rosey and gets punched for it. Whip, Tajiri ducks the clothesline, Regal makes the blind tag, Hurricane and Rosey do the fireman's carry/reverse neckbreaker combo, but on the illegal man. Rosey covers, but no count and Regal attacks him. Off the ropes, into a Rosey spinebuster, so that didn't work so well. Tag to Hurricane, but they're both going up first. Rosey sits on the top rope, Hurricane starts to climb his shoulders - and Grenier runs out, breaking his flagpole over Hurricane's back. Conway in and they're hitting both teams with the flagpole. That's it for the match (DQ on the champs, 3:15, 7:04 total) but La Resistance is far from done, choking out Regal and Rosey with the flags. Wave the flag.