why this was a week late: I leave my laptop on all the time, but typically it doesn't make a high pitched whine to wake me up. A couple days of trying to figure out why my BIOS wasn't finding my hard drive and why upsetting spinning noises were coming from my computer led me into sending the thing in. Bye bye hard drive for the second time in 15 months. No I don't make backups, why do you ask.

why am I bothering: gosh if I know. A dedication to more complete archives? the hope Tazz says something funny? A too obvious lack of life?

tv 14 entertainment

Coach voice over promises to get us thru the tough one hour until WM. Tough is right.

CC open

Your hosts are Coach (black suit, salmon shirt) and Tazz (black suit, orange shirt.) Coach is unbuttoned, too. Coach does that annoying thing where you say a person "needs no introduction" and proceed to give him one. Tazz claims a pothole for the height difference. Someone get him a box.

WM21: Triple H (c) vs Batista for World Heavyweight Championship
WM21: JBL (c) vs John Cena for the WWE Championship
WM21: Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle
WM21: Undertaker vs Randy Orton
and video package for that one. (3:00)

Tazz says "I don't roll like that" to save this segment. Undertaker couldn't get up! Randy's cagy strategy - leave Undertaker laying on his chest to prevent sit up. You may be annoyed history has been rewritten to Orton having singlehandly beat the Rock and Mick Foley last year but I'm more annoyed no one remembers Randy Orton used to be Charlie Haas.

Boot of the Week, presented by Birdman Lugz: arm wrestling

Tazz: "Michael Cole's favorite superhero is Mickey Mouse!" Moving on, talk about the Woman's Title.
WM21: Trish Stratus (c) vs Christy Hemme for the Women's Championship
WM21: Jericho vs Benoit vs Christian vs Edge vs Benjamin vs Kane in a Money in the Bank (Ladder) Match for a World Heavyweight Title
and into clips of the six man from RAW. Kane gets all metaphorical on us. (2:55)
WM21: When Kurt met Christy

WM Week highlights. Amazing how they invade LA by sending Big Show to NY. Who won the SD tournament, anyway? (1:47)
Tazz and Coach suck up to each other without having an actual punch line - but they do have a segue:
HOF highlights (1:37)

Slam of the week, presented by Elektra: Akebono beats some guy who never saw him coming. (The lamest, jokes are the best.)

WM21: Akebono vs Big Show in a Sumo Match
WM21: Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle
and video package (2:41)
Tazz and Coach have differing views on the winner, breaking down on party lines.

RAW Live
Monday - Los Angeles, CA [RAW]
Thursday - Brisbane, Australia [RAW WM Revenge Tour]
Friday - Newcastle, Australia [RAW WM Revenge Tour]
Saturday - Sydney, Australia [RAW WM Revenge Tour]
Next Monday - Moline, IL [RAW]

Stone Cold Stunner (sponsored by 24/7): Beer truck, 1999

the song with the chorus they won't stop playing is "Big Time" by the Sound Track of Our Lives

ONE LAST TIME
WM21: Triple H (c) vs Batista for World Heavyweight Championship
WM21: Undertaker vs Randy Orton
WM21: Rowdy Roddy Piper vs Stone Cold Steve Austin in Piper's Pit
WM21: Jericho vs Benoit vs Christian vs Edge vs Benjamin vs Kane in a Money in the Bank (Ladder) Match for a World Heavyweight Title
WM21: WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero vs WWE Tag Team Champion Rey Mysterio
WM21: Trish Stratus (c) vs Christy Hemme for the Women's Championship
WM21: Akebono vs Big Show in a Sumo Match
WM21: Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle
WM21: JBL (c) vs John Cena for the WWE Championship
and video package (3:30)

WM Recall: Morton Downey Jr. and Roddy Piper take turns blowing smoke, 1989. As people all over go "wait, who was Morton Downey now?"

Tazz is thrilled to be taller than R2D2. Without a segue:
WM21: Rowdy Roddy Piper vs Stone Cold Steve Austin in Piper's Pit
WM21: Triple H (c) vs Batista for World Heavyweight Championship
and video package (3:00)
Coach picks Triple H. Tazz picks Cena and JBL, sorta.

That's it.