Experience: I forgot. Eh.

TV PG DV cc entertainment open fireworks - "Life is back to normal!" I assume he means Justin's back at WO.

Heat GM Steven Richards (Philadelphia, PA, 230 pounds) vs Garrison Cade (Austin, TX, 265 pounds) - Steven is calm? downcast? on different meds? Your announcers are once again Al and Coach. Al notes this is the 300th Heat, and in celebration, we get an IC Title match and Coach and Al will make fun of each other's shirts. Coach is so unhappy about what happened on RAW, he orders a clip to be shown of the head kickery. "Just for the record, Tajiri doesn't want to mess with myself and Garrison Cade any more." Steven is sedate? That seems accurate. Coach: "That kick didn't hurt that much." Al: "Because he kicked you in the head." Lockup, Steven forced into the corner, clean break? Yea, huh. Who's the face here anyway. Garrison's all smiley but I don't think that counts. Steven seems to be thinking over things. Coach: "This is like a two month struggle with Steven Richards." Not the veiled references again. Coach is never going to shut up about Cade. Lockup, no Cade ducks under, shove to Steven's back. Steven doesn't react much. Is he doing his Raven impersonation? You know he'd have to do a good one. Circle. Lockup, Garrison scoop, holding it holding it holding it slam. Maybe that was only two holding it. Al: "It's like ever since he lost You Know Who, he's You Know What?" What? It's like there's this show everyone in the world missed - except Coach and Al - where Steven and Victoria broke up. Steven's back really hurts. Garrison imploring Steven to hit him, but Steven won't. Garrison gets annoyed and punches Steven in the jaw. Right. Coach says Cade is wearing $1000 boots, but I see no picture of Grover Cleveland. Off the ropes, elbow drop. Off the ropes, elbow drop. Al says they're Stan Hansen-esque, and Coach pretends he knows who Stan Hansen is. Garrison walks over Steven as he wanders around. Whip, shoulderblock by Cade. One two no. Coach complains that Steven is being fed to Cade - it's so unfair for Steven to be destroyed by such a talent as Cade. Stomp. Turnbuckle smash hurts Steven a bunch. Forearm. Garrison is smiley. :-) Garrison goes to pickup Steven, but Steven knocks him down (!) on his way to get away. Cade is on him, stomping and choking. Right. Steven run into the corner, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder, right hand. Cade: "C'MON ON STEVIE? HEY, WHERE'S VICTORIA? WHERE'S VICTORIA, STEVIE? YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS? SHE'S IN MY HOTEL ROOM [crotch thrust], WAITING FOR ME!" Steven with a right, right, right, right, right, right, right, choke takedown! Punches on the mat and lots of mounted punches. Cade tries to cover up, and Steven stops to yell (and pose.) Kick for Cade, and - he's setting up for the Shattered Dreams? Psycho facial expression. Loading up the boot. Coach: "We need that tonight!" Okay. Steven charging, but the ref gets in the way. Steven argues while Cade frees himself. Steven charges, but Cade catches him and drops him with a spinebuster. (Al: "sidewalk slam" - huh?) Cade going up, top rope elbow, one two three (5:05)

Tonight: Randy Orton (c) vs Val Venis for the IC Title
Next: Kane wants a kiss

Two Weeks Ago: Victoria (there she is!) gets a great photo op with Hillary Clinton, and vice versa. "This isn't just another meeting." 

Segue into the post match of Lita/Victoria vs Gail/Molly. I would've liked if Lita and Matt addressed what had happened before with them but then I bet Matt would've liked if Lita could've given him more than a yell as warning about Kane. Since when does JR have a lot of respect for Matt Hardy? Am I confusing him with bizarro JR who was making fun of the Matt Facts two weeks ago? I guess. (5:17)

the Hurricane and Rosey (565 pounds) vs Jason Bates and Brandon Groom (428, already in the ring) - Announcers talk over the local guys names,  but Brandon has his name on his trunks which helps. Rosey and Jason to start, lockup, Rosey forces Jason into the corner. Break, and Jason works in a punch that gets him choked in the corner. Beal into the ring. Armbar, Jason flipped over on to his back, Rosey poses on him, then walks over his chest. Off the ropes, falling headbutt drop. Tag to Hurricane, double leg on Jason and holding on, Hurricane second rope legdrop. Hurricane covers one two no. Jason picked up but gets in a knee, and walks over to tag Brandon. Brandon charges in, armdrag, armdrag, armbar. Hurricane whipped, roll under the clothesline, armdrag of his own. Top wristlock by Hurricane. Armbar, whip, reversed, Hurricane shoulderblock. Off the ropes, no Jason gets in a shot to the back. Hurricane is hurt, but not hurt enough to avoid taunting. Brandon uses the distraction to run Hurricane back first into the corner. And again. And again. Brandon distracts while Jason chokes Hurricane on the top rope. Brandon runs Hurricane into the corner for a fourth time. Shoulders in the corner. Tag to Jason. Stomp. Side back breaker. One two no. Choke. Front facelock, tag to Brandon, hold him for a second rope axhandle. Rights and lefts from Brandon. Armbar, corner whip, charge in to a big elbow. Tag to Rosey, clothesline blocked, and Rosey murders Brandon with a clothesline to the neck. Back elbow to Jason as he comes in, another big clothesline to Brandon. Whip, backdrop, Jason tries to get in a forearm to the back, Rosey of the ropes, clothesline. Slam for Brandon, Rosey calls for it, off the ropes, big splash. One two Jason breaks it up. Coach says "King Kong Bundy-esque", that's odd. That he knows a name. Hurricane with a kick and Bates is thrown out. Brandon's dealing with a two on one and he doesn't know it yet. Hurricane getting the crowd pumped up, Samoan Drop/reverse neckbreaker combo one two three (4:18) Rosey almost made it the whole match with his mask on, but it must've moved on the finish because he rips it off as he stops the cover.

Tonight: Randy Orton (c) vs Val Venis for the IC Title
Next: Edge/Benoit vs Flair/Batista

RAW Live
Monday - Phoenix, AZ [RAW]
Friday - New Orleans, LO [WMRevenge]
Saturday - Lafayette, LA [WMRevenge]
Sunday - Fresno, CA [WMRevenge]
Monday - San Jose, CA [RAW] 

End of the title match. Did Flair go to Tazz's tanning salon? Johnny Nitro and Edge have the same hair with a different color. (4:20)
RAW: World Tag Team Champion Chris Benoit (c) vs Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Title
Next: Randy Orton (c) vs Val Venis for the IC Title. Al: "inDEED"

Godsend Shelton is respectful all the sudden

Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 242 pounds) vs Randy Orton (St. Louis, MO, 240 pounds) for the Intercontinental championship - Announcers complain about ugly chicks. How did Evolution end up with Christian's old fireworks? The pretty decent match they had previously on this show you're thinking about is the 01/11 Heat; I wonder if they'll mention it? Circle. Lockup, Val with a waistlock, waistlock takedown, into a front facelock. Randy out into a hammerlock. Both up to their feet, Val reversing via drop toe hold into a side headlock. Up to their feet again, Randy trying to turn out of it  but Val battling. Looks like Randy is going to win this as it turns into a top wristlock battle, and all the way into his own side headlock. Shot off, Randy shoulderblock and pose. Randy points at Val, as if to say "Hey, there's Val." Circle. Circle. Lockup, Randy with a headlock. Val trying to power out of it like Randy did, but it's not going to work. Instead, punch to the ribs, Randy shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Randy off the ropes, over, into Val's hiptoss. Randy wriggles away as his back hurts him, and Val is content with giving him a hip swivel. Circle. Lockup, no Val with a single leg, elbow drop to the inside of the leg, elbow drop to the inside of the leg. Val applies a toe hold, and drives a knee into Randy's leg to use as a fulcrum as he pulls Randy's foot upwards. Al wisely notes this is setup for the reverse figure four.  Randy tries to get loose, then tries to kick Val away with his feet leg butt Val hangs on. Randy starts crawling towards the ropes, but can't get going. Val switches to a kneeling toe hold, and Randy still can't get to the ropes. Now a more standing standing toe hold. Randy back to trying to kick Val away, but now getting the flat of his foot in Val's face, and that'll work. Randy up, but stumbling and limping right into a scoop and slam. Reverse figure four? Maybe yelling about isn't a good idea, because Randy is crawling away before h can get it applied, and gets to the ropes. Val backed away by Choida, and Orton uses leverage to take Val out of the ring. Randy decides not to rest in the ring, rolling out and immediately getting punched. Chop. Val's really hanging out of his trunks. Right. Right. Whip, reversed, and Val goes into the steps. Randy is able to roll in and rest now, and while both recover, we take our final break. (4:40)

Randy drops an elbow on Val's back as we return. Point of the elbow to the back. And again. One two no. Randy still limping a bit as he stomps Val in the corner. Val lays on his side next to the post, so Randy goes on and created a bow and arrow effect around the post. Holding it on for a four count, pose, and back in. Off the ropes, driving punch to the ribs, one two no. Val set up on the top rope, and Randy weakens him with a punch before going up. Superplex? Blocked. Blocked. Val fighting back with punches to the midsection and Randy is knocked off. Randy's to his feet as Val slowly gets to a standing position, and barely gets there before Randy is over and crotching him. Randy with more punches. Superplex? Yes! Al mentions that this was a finisher of Randy's dad, and it might be one for him here - one two NO. One two no. Randy thinks he got a three somewhere in there, but no. Val retreats to the corner, and Randy wanders over into a back elbow. Randy comes back again, and gets a boot this time. Val staggers out of the corner, and takes a punch from Randy. Randy off the ropes, and Val beheads him with a clothesline. Drop toe hold, keeping the leg scissors on to chain it into his knee snap move. Randy's in a lot of pain again. Val is too tired and hurt to follow up, though, and Randy's actually the first one up. Walking over on leg, but Val sees him come and manages a double leg takedown while looking the other way. The huge advantage there is that leaves Val in perfect position - reverse figure four! Randy's in the center of the ring! Randy crawling for the ropes but he's got a way to go . He's trying to grab the ropes! He's trying to grab Choida! Choida moves out of the way! Randy's got a little farther to go, he's almost there, he's tapping the ropes but apparently that doesn't, now he grabs them with both hands. Val's back is hurting, and his nose is bleeding (Randy's last punch? - and if Val still is in those movies, doesn't everyone want to stop the match now till he gets that under control?). Whip - no, Randy can't even take a step without collapsed. Randy's down and grabbing his leg. He's taking off his elastic knee brace as Choida keeps Val away. Randy wants a break to check his leg, and Choida's talking with him which is basically giving it. Choida's stepped out of his way, so Val comes over to follow up, and Randy jumps up and drops him with a RKO. One two three. (4:22, 9:02) Hey, I know which road agent booked this match. Randy limps out, but he's still go this belt.

RAW: World Tag Team Champion Chris Benoit (c) vs Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Title

That's it.

If it wasn't the faked injury bit, I would say this was better Rey/Jamie, but they saved me from that.