Maybe the plan is to show every different show possible before Heat, so maybe you'll find something you actually don't hate. Or monkeys run the network on the weekend.

I guess Al's softening his comments by saying he doesn't blame Coach make sense now. Either that, or Coach and Al were doing an act just to fool me (like if they pretended they were at ringside talking about matches when they're really in a production studio somewhere.) I was kinda hoping that we'd find out that this was all a plan of StevieCorp, but maybe later.

TV PG DV [Captioning - "Wrestling is made possible by World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc."] CC entertainment open fireworks

Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 243 pounds) vs Slater Vain (225 pounds, already in the week) - Al and Coach are in exceptionally happy moods. And not just because Val is here. Your announcers are Al and Coach (wearing a Texas basketball jersey - you'd think he'd be a KSU guy). Coach gives full credit for the plan working to Al. Al: "I would like thank the academy. I would like to thank my partner Coach for supporting me through the hard times..." I'll only call this match if Val realizes Slater has stole his tights. Otherwise, we'll see it again in three weeks, I guess. Hand slap? I'll have none of that. Let's transcribe again Coach: "So many people have come up to me this week, and they said 'Coach, what was Al doing?' I said 'Did you not watch Heat last week?' We pulled the snow over everybody's eyes!" Al: "That's what we call the snow job" Coach: "Yes!" They're not being interesting anymore, but do figure they need a plan for Coach vs JR. Did Val train Slater or something? We're doing the mirror standoff, and Slater wants a handshake - there's the short clothesline. Al and Coach approve the bad sportsmanship. Al: "The ends justify the means!" He's been hanging out with O'Haire. They're sticking together because they're Heat buddies. Well, it worked for Tazz and Cole. Al: "You know, HBO!" Coach: "I didn't even know you knew what that meant." Al: "I know a lot." Coach: "This is all about opportunities. I mean, let's face it, I mean, we're younger, we're hipper, and quite frankly, we're just better period than JR and the King." Al: "Oh, without a doubt." Al and Coach were never going to get that opportunity with Austin (what? to wrestle Lawler? they mean to announce but they didn't actually do that), but there's a light at the end of the tunnel, Eric. Al and Coach debate who was scared about Eric on Monday. Val goes for the fisherman's suplex, but he can't use it because he hasn't done it and month and Slater has been working over his back all match. Val can hit a spinebuster moments later. And then he looks wacky in the eyes and goes up. Money Shot hits one two three (3:57) So Val's a face and they still like him. Please don't make us stick around for the towel. Al: "You love the Money Shot!" Coach: "I do! Always have"

Backstage, La Resistance check out RAW magazine – they’re angry that the Dudleyz made the cover and they didn't. Rene dares to ask where Dudleyville is, but Greiner doesn't know either. Rob Conway - has purple tights? Eh. Oh, he's wrestling next.

Let's back to RAW, for the huge opening match. Al and Coach note how Coach was in complete control when Al showed up. Hey, this is how it looks with out satellite problems. I guess Coach's finisher is the elbow drop. I've wondered all week how Coach has theme music. No one saw it coming. Al: "I was so good!" (1:27)

Unforgiven: Coach vs Good Ol' JR - Coach thanks Stone Cold for this match. "One step closer to what we want!"

Spike Dudley (150 pounds) vs Rob Conway (226 pounds, w/World Tag Team Champions, La Resistance) - Rob gets hugs from the champs on the stage - are they not going to stick around for this match? I guess not. Spike meets Rob (and his awful haircut) at the bottom of the stage, Rob misses a punch, Spike does not miss many. Rob thrown into the apron, run into the barricade. Spike off the top rope with a falling plancha on Rob. Spike with a dropkick, running stomps in the corner. Spike clichés by the announcer. Whip, reversed, Spike with the kip up headscissors, Rob blocks and throws him onto the apron. Coach is taking Rob's side? Rob with a punch, but Spike with a shoulder to the midsection. Suplex to the floor? No, it's blocked. Rob lifts Spike up, pulls him over so Spike's ankles are resting on the top rope, and drills him with a swinging neckbreaker. Rob works a boot choke. Whip, back elbow. Turnbuckle smash, right, right, left, right, warned about the closed fists. Al says it's a good to take an opportunity, but with La Resistance? Rob back to try another punch, but Spike ducks it. Spike right, right, right, corner whip, reversed and Spike goes down hard. Rolling over Spike and covering one two no. Whip, Rob puts his head down too soon, Spike kicks it. Spike off the roes, Rob kicks him, elbow driver into a facecrusher? Close enough. Rob poses angrily. Spike pulling himself up using Rob, right from Rob. Rob talks trash as Spike uses him as a climbing post again, and knocks Spike down again. WM XX. Rob picks Spike up, Spike breaks free, Rob kicks him away. Corner whip, Rob charges in, Spike leaps up and catches him in a headscissors, taking him down into the buckle. Spike inverted atomic drop, clothesline one two no. Theodore Long later. Spike going up, but is slow and kinda slipping before Rob crotches him. Superplex is blocked - facebite and a push takes care of Rob. Welcome to the WWE, Rob, here's the top rope double stomp one two NO. Spike with a corner jumping hipcheck. Off the ropes, battering ram one two no. Spike with a choke on the middle rope, but he's forced to back up. Spike gets back on Rob, but Rob catches him and drops him on the top rope with a flapjack. Rob with a slam, Spike slips behind, kick, Dudley - no, before he even gets running, Rob reverses to a somewhat spinning reverse neckbreaker one two three (3:11) He did it without help, wow. He's okay. He's not good enough to be posing like that after the match.

Tonight: Rodney Mack & Mark Henry vs Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade (first one to use a wrestling move wins)

Next: Shane says Bring It On. Because he's the Rock.

Hey, ad for Rock's movie, whaddayaknow. Hey, he's funny. I hate how those holes in his shirt are so perfectly even.

Kane and Shane, Two Weeks Ago, in tintvision. (1:06)
And then on Monday (5:05)

Next: Tommy Dreamer! Wait, why did I put that exclamation point here.

You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that we get no Stevie this week.

Lugz Multicultural Tag Team of Monday

Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, NY, 252 pounds, w/cane) vs [AJPW's] Jimmy Yang (Seoul, South Korea, 200 pounds) - Seoul? Did Yang flee the country? I guess he's got time if he's not back till the October tour. Shopzone ad. Lockup, Tommy backs Yang in the corner. Clean break, till Yang pushes. Dreamer pushes back. Yang is wearing MMA gloves because Japan is such a screwed up place right now. Yang tries a kick, but Dreamer catches it. Yang tries to punch, but Dreamer's head is out of his reach. Dreamer has no problem punching Yang. Whip, clothesline misses, Dreamer just lets him run by on the second pass, cross body is easily caught. Fallaway slam. Al: "Tommy Dreamer with the SOS - I won't explain what those letters mean." I know! But I'm not telling you. Coach: "Like a sack of potatoes". Al: "That'd be SOP." Dreamer with a suplex. Al likes Yang's pants. Dreamer charges, and gets a drop toe hold into the middle buckle. Yang with the pointless flip up, charge into the corner - corner wheel kick! Didn't Chris called that the SuperKwang? Yang grabs the top rope on his way out and pulls himself back in. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Choke on the bottom rope. Yang with an elbow. Turnbuckle smash. Yang up to the top rope, headscissors locked on, and he hangs backwards over the top rope to choke out Dreamer. Neat - kinda in the Tarantula family of moves. Yang lets go, as Dreamer stumbles around the ring. Stomping. Chinlock. Dreamer trying to rally back, getting some support from the fans. Dreamer elbow out, Yang stops it with a forearm. Dropkick. Yang stands around instead of posing. Stomp. Yang going - for the cane? HE BROKE THE CAN OVER THE ROPES! Someone doesn't value their life much. Yang follows up with the Tiger Mask flip, but Dreamer comes out of the corner to clothesline him. Al rightly points out how little helpful the Tiger Mask flip is. Dreamer off the ropes, swinging neckbreaker one two no. Al: "You don't break a man's stick! You don't put your hands on a man's stick!" Whip, reversed, Yang misses a short clothesline, and Dreamer hits the TD Bomb. Corner whip, kip up but no one's home. Yang realizes no one came with him, looks for Dreamer, and finds him - waiting for hi. Dreamer with a fireman's carry, but Yang reverses into an inverted DDT! Yang doesn't cover, instead calling for his move. To the top (duh!), corkscrew moonsault comes up empty! That's Yang Time, right? Dreamer DDT, Yang doing his version of Val's headstand sell one two three (3:29) Replay of the missed top rope move, and the DDT. Back to live time, Yang is recovering on the ropes, and Dreamer nails him in the butt with the remains of the cane. Coach: "Well, that's how Dreamer normally uses his stick." Al can barely keep from cracking up

Later: Rodney Mack and Mark Henry vs Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade
Next: Goldberg and Triple H

RAW Live
Monday - Huntsville, AL [RAW]
Friday - Nashville, TN
Saturday - Knoxville, TN
Sunday - Ashville, NC
Next Monday - Columbia, SC [RAW]

SummerSlam highlights - World Title Match (1:43)
Triple H/Goldberg was a big main event, but Al likes Maven being involved even more (3:40)

SummerSlam: Triple H vs Goldberg for the WWE Title
SummerSlam: Shawn Michaels vs Randy Orton

Next: Rodney Mack and Mark Henry vs Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade

One Day In Mexico We Had This Match Already

Rodney Mack & Mark Henry (w/Theodore Long, 636 pounds) vs - Mack is look a lot more excitable than before. Maybe you can't have two brooders in the group. Coach and Al are hyped for Coach/JR. It's been a while for this show, but Theodore Long still wants to talk. "Let me holla at you playa. You know the last time you people saw this man here Mark Henry The World's Strongest Man. Take a look at Rodney Mack, the master of Thuggin' and Buggin'. Now, the last time you saw them, they're giving two white boys the baddest beatdown that they ever had, you feel me. Now, I've been informed that these same two white boys say the Thuggin' and Buggin' was a fluke, that they can stand up to the Thuggin' and Buggin' if they got another chance. So the white boys are going to find out tonight that Theodore Long has got the Magic Stick. Now, we've already hit them once, and I guess we've got hit them twice, so, whether the same white boys, or whether they're someone else, because all you white people look just alike to me, get them out there, it's Thuggin' and Buggin' time." I thought Shaniqua had the Magic Stick? It must cross over. Coach sings a little bit.

Rodney Mack & Mark Henry (w/Theodore Long) vs Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak (532 pounds) - Garrison is in quick with Rodney Mack. Lockup, Rodney with a knee, right. Rodney working him over the corner. Al says the boys nickname for Garrison is "G Unit", but he has no idea why. Garrison battling back with punches of his own. Whip, reversed, back elbow, one two no. Forearm. Tag to Mark. Lockup, tag to Jindrak. Kick. Right. Armbar, Mack forearms out of it. Mack stomping. Whip, Mack misses a clothesline, Jindrak hits a jumping clothesline. Clothesline. Dropkick. Coach: "Maybe the best dropkick in the business - no offense to Hardcore Holly." Bob's gonna have to beat down Jindrak on principle when he comes back, and then he's going after Coach. There may be a line there. Jindrak tries a corner splash, but Mack drops down and Mark his the corner buckle. Al spends 30 seconds defending Holly's dropkick so he's obviously heard this argument before (from Bob.) Mack brings Jindrak in, elbow to the head, diving ax-handle. One two on. Coach thinks about calling Hardcore for advice on this match. I guess he likes being hung up on. Mack with a whip, head down too soon, Jindrak kicks it. Jindrak charges right into a powerslam, too close to the ropes and Nick Patrick won't count it. Mack with right. Al wonders if Bob would teach Coach the Alabama Slam, but Coach prefers to be taught that move from Gail Kim. Chinlock with forearms. Jindrak with elbows out, right, corner whip, reversed, Jindrak leaps to the top and back with a clothesline. Both slow up - Mark wants in but he hasn't been yet. Jindrak crawling for a tag, Mack gets a leg but not enough, tag to Cade. Cade with aright, left, left, left. Kick, off the ropes, knee lift. Corner whip, calling for the forearm and hitting it (though they show it at a weird cut so something must've not worked right.) Cade off the ropes, but Mark knocks him down from the outside. Mack finally makes the tag to Henry. Mark in and tossing Cade. Corner charge for Cade. Throwing Cade down into the mat. Jindrak in and he's clotheslined. Randy in to throw Jindrak out. Henry with a scoop - front slam, one two three (3:58) That was over pretty quick when Mark got in.

RAW: RVD vs Kane in a steel cage match - 1st Match On Raw!

Unforgiven in two weeks - they're out.