Two Years Ago, Alex Beckers watched from NY - In taped action, Mosh beat Essa Rios by DQ and Ivory and Mideon beat Miss Jackie and Funaki. In No Way Out news, Mark Henry/Viscera and Tazz vs Albert/Bossman were set up, and Terri returned to hire the APA.

One Year Ago, a lot of hype for No Way Out and Rikishi beat Matt Hardy when Team Extreme figured their only chance for even a moral victory was a 3 on 1 beatdown.

Not that it was important or anything: I forget to mention that Heat didn't end with a video package (like every PPV Heat), but a look backstage at the nWo, in the building, talking and heading towards the ring.

Nidia and Maven want me to watch Tough Enough 2. I dunno - if it was someone else asking. That angle makes it look like Nidia got some surgery but it may just be that angle or me not remembering Nidia well.

Open

the Hurricane (w/Mighty Molly) vs Tajiri (w/Torrie Wilson) for the WWF Crusierweight Championship - We start with a match? I guess they're kicked out of WWFNY for some reason. Chimel actually says WWF! Why yes - we look at Tazz and Michael Cole at the desk, I wonder what's up with this. Couldn't be the hockey game, could it? Doesn't seem to match up time wise. They would like to talk about whatever. Holy crap, a graphic (including close up of the J-Mar panel)! It's almost like a real title. What happened to these two guys being partners or something?  Hurricane offers the handshake and Tajiri accepts. Circle, circle, lockup, waistlock by Tajiri, headlock by Hurricane, push in the announce ropes, over, off the ramp ropes, Hurricane rolls under a Tajiri clothesline, Tajiri's whiped to the announce ropes, under, off the ramp ropes, Hurricane goes for a monkey flip but Tajiri dive rolls over. Hurricane charges and gets an armdrag. Tajiri charges and gets an armdrag. Pose off. Lockup, Hurricane with a headlock, off the announce ropes, shoulderblock. Pose, off the far ropes, over, hiptoss blocked, Hurricane with the flip out (it IS a Crusierweight match) and Tajiri nails him with a kick to the head (because it's still an annoying move.) Clapping, stalking Hurricane, chop. Whip to the far ropes, Hurricane ducks a clothesline and whips Tajiri to the near ropes, jumping right. Picking up Tajiri, armbar, right to the arm, right to the arm, right to the arm, kick, choking Tajiri with his own arm and there's a modified Russian Legsweep. Hurricane going up - Tajiri getting back to his feet - flying axhandle but Tajiri is waiting for him, hard kick to the midsection. Hurricane with a right, but it's blocked and Tajiri hits the lighting strikes. Back up to the ropes, whip, reversed, handspring back elbow. One two no. Whip to the announce ropes, (Tazz: "There's Torrie, everyone's favorite flotation device") standing spin kick is ducked and Hurricane gets the goozle. He pauses to thumbs up and that gives Tajiri time to escape and hit a back kick. Corner whip, reversed, Hurricane charges in and the Tarantula is on. Tajiri lets go at three and goes up, but Hurricane catches him with a questionable low punch - Iconclasm (kinda, no sit down, just a modified throw off the top rope.) Cover one two no. Hurricane goes to the second rope - Blockbuster is evaded, Tajiri sets up for the kick - and it's ducked - Eye of the Hurricane! One Tajiri Reverses the roll up One Two Three! (3:29) Hurricane went for the lean back cover, and it cost him. Tajiri just barely wins these matches, but he wins them.

Lillian Garcia talks to William Regal - he thinks his punch can knock out even Rikishi. It did work on Big Show. And it did work on Edge, again. "The Power of the Punch is a match for no man." There's no way William Regal will get the Stinkface tonight.

That's still to come - look at the graphic. Also, a look back at the nWo.

the Godfather (w/four whatevertheyare) vs Test - BUSINESS IS DOWN FOR THE GODFATHER. I wanted you to appreciate the subtly of it. Tazz's advice for the Godfather: "Get some chicks that look good." The "Days Till Test Can Be Fired" count (sponsored by Our So Called Sport) is down to JUST 267 days. Cole yells at Tazz for forgetting the Test hates ref angle. Godfather with a big ol' shoulderblock. Slam. The escorts are over the Rock's death, in case you were wondering. Elbow drop. Whip, side kick is avoided when Test holds the ropes. Godfather charges, misses, and Test clotheslines him out. Stomp. Throw into the steps. Thrown in. Godfather with a kick, Test with a knee. Turnbuckle shot. Right. Back elbow. Boot choke. Corner whip, corner clothesline. Corner whip, Godfather goes down. Suplex, one two no. Choke on the ropes. Godfather fights back with rights, off the ropes, and Test knocks him down with a clothesline. Test sets up for the boot - but Godfather moves out of the way and Test crotches him self on the top rope. Godfather bounces the top rope up and down for effect. Test falls free, and Godfather sets up - clothesline, clothesline, whip, boot the head. Here's the circle legdrop. Fixing his pants. Corner whip, back elbow. Test fights back with the double leg takedown and the double leg on the ropes cover - one No, Brian Hebner (as called by Cole, maybe they're gonna use that name?) notices the ropes. Test stares at the escorts, inside cradle - one two no. Test up, clothesline misses, Godfather kicks, turnbuckle smash, corner whip, it's time for the Escort Train but no one's home. Kick (maybe a knee?) to the back sets up the Last Rites. One two three. (3:59) Tazz has seen other people use that move but he doesn't know what Test is calling it.

This time, we'll promo the nWo first then show the IC graphic. 

Tough Enough 2 - Paint By Numbers doesn't exactly promote this being better.

Lugz Maven eliminating Undertaker of the Royal Rumble. 

Of course that leads in to a TE2 promo. So, I'm gonna do the show but I have this feeling that it's never as good as the first time. I think they've shown this exact video package before - I know I've seen. Maybe on Excess? This time, everyone gets subtitles. There's the "Ivory doesn't have a filter comment." (1:41)

nWo later, but Booker T and Val next.

Val Venis (3:20) vs Booker T - Get this, Val invites a lady in the ring! Booker T gets pyro on Heat, that works. I hope Booker T kills Val. Like the Rock. Still to come, Regal/Rikishi! Do you believe a (real) title would change hands on Heat? Also, an exciting recap. Circle. Booker T talks trash about having his time wasted by Val, I think. Lockup, battle around for leverage with Val getting to a corner first. Clean break by Val, now Booker's pushing Val, now Val's pushing Booker, now Booker's thinking "TELL ME he didn't just do that." Val's telling him he did that! Booker rightly kicks him. Chop. right. Chop. Right, chop, right, chop, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick. Not Evil Nick Patrick tells Booker T to step off, and that allows Val to get up and clothesline him. Hmm, maybe he is evil. Clothesline. Right. Right. Whip, reversed and Val hits a back elbow, elbow drop. Off the ropes, knee drop. One two no. Tazz: "Like you said, it's a battle for the ages! I have no idea what that means, but I've heard people say it." Whip, no Booker T's going to reverse it right into a Harlem Side Kick. Looking at his hand - not yet. Booker T waits for Val to get up - Book End but Val elbows out of it. (Patrick makes a "he's hitting you with the elbow" motion to Booker T, huh?) Tazz: "Are you saying you fantasize about the Rock?" Val off the ropes, Booker T puts his head down too soon and there's a SLOW swinging neckbreaker. Both men slow up. Right by Booker is blocked and Val hits his own. Repeat. Val hits rights, whip, clothesline misses, Val with a diving shoulderblock. Whip, backdrop. Val pulls up Booker, Booker with a fashionable low blow. Right to the head, whip, reversed, Val holds on to hit the knee and go the other way to do it again. Russian legsweep. One two no. Val thought it was three, but it was not. Whip, reversed into a knee lift, off the ropes, Harlem Ax Kick. Looking at the hand - no, jumping Harlem side kick, but Val ducks, spinebuster. Going for the reverse figure four but Booker T's a ring general and knows to get to the ropes before it can be hooked on. Booker T to the floor for a break and Val follows. Val with punches, chops on the outside. Thrown back in. Val with a shoulder to the gut, sunset flip in, but Booker T won't go down - sit down  and holding the ropes one two, Patrick finnaly notices that Booker's got his hands on the ropes and kicks at them.- Val completes it for one two no. Clothesline misses, Val with a kick to the midsection, body slam. Going up - Money Shot gets knees! I think it's finnaly time - SPINAROONIE, Jumping Harlem Side Kick one two three. (5:02) Don't dare try to hold his hand up, Nick! 

Lillian Garcia talks to Rikishi - Rikishi has his own power, but it doesn't come from his hand. 

Next, exciting recaps.

I saw this already. It seemed a lot longer than :35 after the hour when we first saw Hogan - where did they pull these times from? (7:58)

The IC Title match when we return.

Carson Daly is going to tell us how to be men if we watch the next show - when did he learn? Actually, the cheapest line is "What the heck is he trying to grow there?"

Slim Jim Tag Team Title Change of the Night.

William Regal vs Rikishi for the Inter Continetial Champion - That title change was a shocker, apparently - I thought they were the Underdogs? Eh. Your ref is Teddy Long. Rikishi walks slow to the ring.  No slower than usual but still it's slow. I'm just pointing out the obvious, okay? Leave me alone. Lockup, headlock by Rikishi, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Slam. Whip, sunset flip attempt by Regal - you'd think he'd be smarter than that, and he does move out of the way before it's too late. Regal makes Regal faces. Lockup, armbar by Rikishi, reversed by Regal, push into the ropes, back elbow by Rikishi. Whip, Rikishi tries for the belly to belly but Regal breaks it up with forearms to the head. Off the ropes, hiptoss blocked so Regal gets a knee to the midsection, off the ropes again, high knee to the head. One two no. Chinlock. Rikishi up to his feet, forearm by Regal, whip, reversed, Rikishi puts his head down, Regal with a (weak looking) kick to the head, off the ropes and Rikishi clotheslines him. Clothesline. Corner whip, side belly to belly suplex. Off the ropes, legdrop. Regal rolls out to safety. Regal's going for his belt - why'd he grab it if he was going to leave it on the apron? Thrust kick and Regal's down. Rikishi sets up as Regal stumbles into the corner - running butt smash. Regal falls into position - Rikishi sets up for it - Stinkface. 

And since MTV is running a couple minutes late again, that's where my show ends. Probably just missed the finish - reports had Regal going for a belt shot right after, Teddy taking the belt from him and putting it back, so he wasn't in place to see Regal pull the knuckles from his pants (that's why they've stopped checking,) and hit Rikishi in (>2:46) to retain the title.

Pretend they hyped RAW right here, and we're a okay.