CRZ threatened to BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF ME if I didn't do every WWF show this week (hope he didn't notice there was no Metal) either that or I just wanted to do it to see if I could do it and what do you know I DID 

Now if I just updated my site and wrote that paper and get to Heat already

the world leader ATTITUDE

Trish is really excited - Michael Cole is on speed "TRISH TRISH TRISH BACHELORS BACHELORS BACHELORS ONE TWO THREE." Tazz cuts him off and tells Trish the game is all set up and they picked some real winners. Trish is happy about this. Then Cole goes back on speed to talk about the stuff to go on tonight, and we all look at him weird. Someone must have told him that was funny when he did it when Kai En Tai was on, and that person is hurting me. 

Backlash is in Chicago. WWF New York is in...NEW YORK! Tazz and Michael Cole are our announcers, and Trish is going to play the dating game. The contestants are "special" and I know I'm taking that segment off.

K Kwik (w/WWF the Music Volume 5) vs Haku - Okay, he's actually doing it live this time. Lockup, no Haku's just gonna hit him with a right, right, right, whip, clothesline ducked, whip, 'rana no, YES HAKU Take the ran. Splits for no reason and the jumping side kick is caught and thrown down - big clothesline follow up. Push in the corner. Chop and Kwik is in pain. Shot to he back. Stomp, kick. Stomp. Kwik is trying punches and we know how well that works. Pummeling in the corner. "K Kwik pulling his Lennox Lewis!" Gut wrench face first suplex by Haku! Kick. Right. Right, Kwik's firing back but one takes him back to his knees. Whip, clothesline. Legdrop. Think about covering here, Haku? No. "We've got three winners to play this game." Corner whip, follow in splash comes up dry, right by Kwik, right, right, right, backing up off the ropes clothesline is no sold. Clothesline again is no sold. Try three is a flying forearm and he knocks him down that time. Off the ropes, flying headscissors. off the second rope dropkick. Cover one two. Off the ropes, clothesline is ducking, flying cross body connects by Kwik for one two. Going all the way up - missile dropkick connects. Roll over to a cover one two th-shoulder up. Both up, Haku with a punch, but Kwik whips him anyway, whip, reverse, powerslam no Kwik somehow rolls through (huh?) and gets one two three. (4:01) 

Trish. "Let's the games begin."

Elsewhere (at the arena?), Vince is on the phone. "This is going to be the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life." See, you think he's talking about the XFL, but actually, it's bad news for Triple H and Austin. 

Some how, we move from there to Big Show versus Shane McMahon.

Footlocker Big Show Chokeslam on a McMahon (but not Vince) of Smackdown 

We're playing the dating game. Trish explains the rules and uses as many sexual metaphors as she can. The Germ is our MC. I'm on break. Oh, wait, they're going to break before they get to the first commercial.

Vince is still in a bad mood. He's waiting for Triple H and Austin.

We're back and we're playing cheesey music. It's not good when the announcers are saying how bad it is.

X-Factor (w/Albert) vs the Hollys (w/Molly) - Hey, Justin got X-Factor tights! Hardcore and X-Pac will start. No, wait, Crash will. X-Pac sucks. Lockup, headlock by Crash, , X-Pac pushes him into the ropes, off, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, under, and into with a flying headscissors. Armbar by Crash, tag to Hardcore. Kick. Armbar. X-Pac with a right, chop, chop, corner whip, Holly comes out with a clothesline. Hardcore with a facelock - hanging vertical suplex, nice. Cover one two kickout. Tag to Crash, Crash goes up to the top rope and hits a flying punch as Hardcore holds X-Pac. Whip, reversed, Justin gets a host in from the apron and X-Pac hits a spin kick. Tag to to Justin, kicks in the corner. Rights in the corner. Ref pushes Justin off but that allows X-Pac to get a kick. Kicks in another corner Crash grabs the ropes but gets pulled into the powerbomb. One two kickout. Headlock, tag to X-Pac, hold for Justin to kick and he does. Push in the corner, running shoulder to the midsection, choking him down to the bottom rope and the Bronco Buster. It connects, yippe yi ya. Up to the second rope and a sit down splash. Tag to Justin. Double whip, double clothesline misses but Crash's doesn't. Crash is crawling to his corner  can he make it - yes. Right for Justin, right for X-Pac, right for Justin, whip, backdrop for X-Pac. Justin takes the super low kick from Hardcore , drop toe hold and Indian Deathlock? Wow. Right for X-Pac before he can break it up, slam on Justin, tag to Crash - top rope splash connects, but Albert is on the apron, Hardcore tags him out as Crash gets one two. X-Pac clothesline Hardcore out as Crash kicks Justin in the corner, the ref watching the battle on the outside and not seeing Albert coming in to hit the scissors kick. Justin covers - wait, Spike Dudley is in! Clothesline misses, Justin gets Dudley Dog! Crash covers one two three (4:23) That's gotta be pay back for getting put in the table. I guess things aren't over between the Dudleyz and X-Factor. It's easier to just pretend like what the announcers are saying is my own original comments. Crash and Spike high five.

Drink that coffee. Triple H is finnaly here. He's got a bad announcement to make, but he needs Triple H to find Austin first.

Nice Hat Perry Saturn (w/Terri and her large - wait, I forget what I was saying and a HAT) vs Raven (w/WWF the Music Volume 5 and going back to RAW) - the DDT is now the Raven Effect, I guess. Lockup, Saturn pushes raven in the corner, Raven ducks the right and hits his own series. Whip, reversed, head down too soon, Raven with a kick and a clothesline, cover for one two. Knee, whip, back elbow by Saturn. Off the ropes, kick is caught, Raven turns him around and clothesline him. Right, right, right is blocked Saturn's missed and Raven clotheslines him out. Saturn gets up to the apron, shoulder to Raven's gut, Hot shot. Raven is pulled out - Scoop and run into the corner post. Spinebuster pick up again and run hard into the stairs. Roll him in, Saturn to the top as Raven struggles to his feet - flying clothesline connects, one two kick out. He didn't hook the leg. High angle back suplex. Walk to the top rope, flying elbow misses. Push in the corner, Series of rights by Raven, corner whip, slingshot clothesline. Mr. Wrestling #1 High Knee! Bronco Billie Special! Man, I love Raven. Cover for one two. Whip, reversed, Saturn ducks the clothesline but the ref does not - Raven Effect on Saturn. Eddie Guerrero (w/the European Title) is running to the ring but Raven is ready for him, clothesline him out of the ring, and then knocking Saturn out of the ring - but Eddie hits a missile dropkick and that ends that. Eddie tells Saturn to finish him - he wakes the ref and there's the Moss Covered Three Handed Family Grudunza one two three. (3:44) Grudunza's not a word. Eddie comes back in to tell Raven that he'll never EVER get his belt. So don't even think about it.

The Dating Game resumes. The Irish says the food he's most like is Lucky Charms. No one says pie. Anyway, Trish still can't decide so she's going have the fans decide.

Vince is talking to some one on the phone again - he's still waiting. 

Play that music again! The Germ is back. Everyone wins. EXCEPT THE PEOPLE WHO WATCH THIS SHOW.

Speaking of winners, the LA Extreme are. (2:32)

Coming up, that announcement.

Backstage, they're all eating strawberries and cream. Actually, Trish is eating them and teasing the guys.

Cole and Tazz wraps up the Two Man Power Trip's Week - here's a video package to help out. Why is this footage sped up at random parts? (1:55)

Vince is waiting - they're there - the tag match is at Backlash. But that's not the worse thing. The titles are on the line - not just the tag team titles. All the titles. Ah, Linda did it in revenge for that Last Man Standing match Vince booked with Shane and Big Show. All things considered, Triple H and Austin handle it well - they don't kill Vince, you see.

All the titles is on line. "No matter what, one title is guaranteed to change hands!" Oh no, we've been down this road before. What's gonna be on RAW tomorrow night? Tune in to find out.