Lucha Va Voom - 05/05/05

What better way to spend Cinco de Mayo than watching lucha libre and half naked women? Far more intoxicating than a case of Corona, and without the nasty hangover.

Lucha Va Voom, a LA based touring promotion featuring Mexican wrestling and burlesque dancers routines, returned to Chicago for a special 05/05/05 show, and was lucky enough to be there. You should've been too - the show was pretty awesome.

When LVV was in Chicago last fall, they did a show at the Park West, one Chicago's many small intimate concert venues. This time around, they moved to the Congress Theatre, the home of a local lucha promotion and a much larger facility. It also meant I was at the Congress for the third time in a month - for a previous lucha show and a Shins concert of all things - which is weird considering I don't live near close to the thing.

Bell time was 8:00, show started at 8:30 and I'll save you my usual rant about not starting at the posted time because even I'm starting to get bored hearing myself talk about it. I may take revenge by neglecting to mention the typically great popcorn, though. Besides the food, they also had a large merchandise stand with a ton of masks. I didn't spend much time near it, due to a lack of immediate funds, but they appeared to do decent business, given the many masks I saw later in the crowd.

The ring was set up a little differently than usual. Congress has a big wooden floor between the stage and the permanent seats, so folding chairs can be set up however. The ring is normally right in the middle of the floor, but they added a stage towards the crowd for the dancers to walk, and left only a tiny space between the ring and the stage. With a lot of people cleared to take photographs, there were a few times where wrestlers couldn't get around the ring that way because it was too packed.

The other detail to set the scene were the ringside seats, and the people in them. On three sides of the ring (but not on the stage), the first two rows were reserved for VIP people - entertainment industry people and friends of the promotion, I presume. Sort of annoying, since they were selling ringside tickets for $25 more than normal tickets ($45 to $25), and they technically weren't ringside. The makeup of the audience - partly because it was 18+ show, partly because of where they advertised, and maybe a bit because of the higher prices - was completely different than the typical Congress lucha show. Instead of Mexican fans of Mexican wrestling, it was more urban white 20-ish people looking for the next big trend. Naturally, it gave it different vibe to the evening, and the amusement of people not realizing that large man running towards them in the ring is about to dive on top of them, which is always great.

The hosts for the show were Blaine Capatch, and Tom Kenny, so we already had SpongeBob SquarePants dropping f-bombs in our favor, a good start. Tom and Blaine crack jokes on the action during the matches, and they seemed a lot more hilarious this time, but maybe it's only because I could actually hear what they were saying. After a discussion of the true meaning of Cinco De Mayo (getting drunk, beating up France) and trying to figure out if Dillinger died in that theater (no - "should've googled that one instead of Cinco De Mayo"), we were off for our first dance of the evening.

The first routine was preformed by Ming Dynatease, and I'm not sure how best to describe these things. All the bits were themed - this one with Ming wearing mini pinatas as a skirt, and ripping them off as he went on - and only little bits of the dancers were covered by the end (pasties and thongs.) Were all the women hot? Yes. Would it help more if I just linked to pictures? Probably. The showed moved on to our first match.

MATCH 1: Payasos Loco, Tyme Page, Mascara de Jade, Latin Terror, Tzuka, El Dorado, Principe Franke, SWAT Kat, Yakuza and in a Get All The Local Guys On The Card 10 Man Battle Royale

One cool thing is they weren't using the typical Congress ring; they were (yea, two lucha promotions in the Chicago area, it's very odd), which hopefully means they'll be working together on things from here on out. Plus, the usual ring moves a lot during the night, and you feel like someone's one time from hitting the ropes hard from collapsing the whole thing.

In both shows, they've had pretty much a three match card, plus a match featuring locals to round it out. Last time, it was a trios match, but here it was an ordinary battle royal. It allowed for a lot of chaos to warm the crowd up, and easy targets for Tom and Blaine to take funny shots at - getting on Yakuza for being the Mexican member of the Japanese Mafia, Tzuka for stealing Santo's mask, Tyme Page for confusing this with the Stone Temple Pilots show, all great and hilarious bits. In the midst of this was an okay battle royal. Tyme Page predictably took a HBK/Hardy-like huge flying elimination, the high spot of those. Mascara de Jade, an Atlantis style tecnico, took the worst elimination, dropping off the apron rather than mounting any offense against top rudo Principe Azteca. Azteca made it to the final two, but submitted to a grounded octopus hold from Principle Franky (top tecnico) to end the match.

We were scheduled to next have a couple more dances, but the music system conked out on the DJ, and they eventually decided to switch around the program a bit. We ended up going to our second match a bit early.

MATCH 2: Chilango vs Kid Durango vs Black Tiger IV

This was a bit of a surprise. Chilango, SoCal tecnico high flier, and Durango, his rudo rival, are regulars who weren't here last time. Black Tiger, on the other hand, is the new version of a New Japan character, now being played by indy wrestler Rocky Romero. He'd worked at least one LVV show in the past, but he wasn't listed on the lineup, and it took me a bit to be certain who it was under the mask, since it's the first time I've seen him with it. Rocky's also one my favorite guys to watch, so getting him completely randomlly was a huge treat.

The match turned into two guys fighting while one guy was knocked out of the ring for the first half, and the second half featured Tiger and Durango beating up Chilango, then turning on each other when it came time for the pin. Chilango got over a lot by the end of the match. The two rudos vs one tecnico dynamic certainly helped out, but he was doing high risk stuff, pulling it off, and looking like a star throughout. He picked up the pin with a 450 Splash onto Durango. If only he had gotten Black Tiger - might he would've won his slot in the Super J!

By the time the match was over, and this was about a ten minute affair, double the opener, the DJ and the sound crew had gotten everything in order; they were able to play Chilango's music after the victory, for one. For another, they ran three straight dance bits to pick up what they had earlier skipped.

First was Summer Peaches, and I honestly don't remember much about this; the next bit destroyed my mind, I guess. I want to say this one of the strip session which felt like a repeat from a previous show. It was Valentine's Day-ish, which is odd for the 5th of May, so I was thinking she probably redid her performance from their show on that holiday. Since none of us were in LA for that show, that was fine.

Following was actually another first; all the strip acts on this show and the last (and maybe from the beginning of time) had been women, so they apparently decided to mix it up by finding some insane guy to do it. His name was Roky Roulette, he had a pogo stick, and it was all very mind blowing. While hopping on the pogo continually, he managed to strip every piece of clothing he was legally allowed to strip, and even dance to the music. No falling over, no tripping of the stage, just bouncing around and taking it off. After he pulled his suit coat, his shirt, and plenty else off, I decided that this man was worthy of my deep respect if he could pull off his pants while still hopping. Tearaways didn't occur to me till too late, but he got make me back when he pulled off his wig. This was all so crazy. I mean, you've got really good for me to like a guy in a thong on a pogo stick, and this was scary good.

We had one more dance before intermission - local burlesque dancer Michelle 'Toots' L'Amour. Even though it was good, it was the same routine as she did last trip thru. It did remind me how much I love scarves, which I don't really get to think about much in May.

Intermission was here. Needed a break. Before the show and during this break, they were playing Spanish covers of US songs; you really haven't lived till you've heard I'm A Believer en Español.

The other interesting part of the intermission was a quick announcement of upcoming lucha cards. Oddly, even though the majority of the crowd were English speakers, they only did it in Spanish. They mentioned next weekend's Cien Caras/Mascara 2K vs Pierroth/El Hijo De Pierroth shows (which is a big main event in Mexico but leaves something to desired if you don't have a big favorite between Mexico and Puerto Rico) and I already knew that. What I didn't piece together till later is they also hyped a June show featuring El Hijo del Santo, La Parka, Dr. Wagner, Canek and others. Pretty huge main event by any standard. Since the last time Santo came to town, a huge blizzard prevented me from going, I expect some sort of monsoon to come.

There was another dance after intermission - having to rearrange things hurt the breaks between the wrestling and the dancing. Urslina did a dance that started in sombero and a poncho and ended with much less, though I can't recall enough to fill out this paragraph. I have a note saying "siesta" on a piece of paper, because they started the bit with her pretending to be asleep or really drunk on tequila, and then springing to life, but that's all I got for you.

MATCH 3: Cassandro & Mascartia Sagrada vs Misterioso & Octagoncito

Cassandro is an exotico, a guy doing a cross dressing character for comedy, with the usual bits in the ring. They take it a step further in Mexico, as tecnico exoticos annoy rudos with kisses. Mascarita Sagrada is the current really small guy in the white outfit. Octagoncito is normally just Ocatgon's mini associate, but the guy wearing the outfit tonight might have been Tzuki, who wrestled in the WWF as Maxi Mini, and was the previous Mascarita. Misterioso is a pre-Rey Jr. Tijuana based flying luchadore, and currently the guy listed as lucha coordinator. His son (at least gimmick wise) wrestles in CMLL.

The match actually doesn't get that far before things break down. Cassandro is laid out, and Octagoncito and Misterioso were holding Mascarita Sagrada down and ripping at his masks. With no else around to help, in came ring girls Fifi and Bebe Poubelle. In previous shows, they'd shown themselves capable of doing some moves, but they were clearly in disagreement in whether to get involved, with Misterioso warning them not to. Misterioso actually settled the thing, by grabbing the twin who wanted to fight, Bebe, pulling out a cat mask, and putting it on her. The power of the evil cat mask turned Bebe rudo. Really! And we got a different match out of it

MATCH 3B: Cassandro & Mascartia Sagrada & Bebe Poubelle vs Misterioso & Octagoncito & Fifi Poubelle

The rudos dominated for a while here, but Fifi (I think) was actually able to turn it around, it was a more a group of a lot one on one counters. This was worked very similar to similar matches in AAA, where they team up different classifications of wrestlers (most commonly a mini, a woman, a exotico and a normal wrestler) and work off the unusual combinations for unlikely battles. The minis worked great here, and Misterioso was awesome as the evil jerk suckering Fifi into cheap attacks. As usual, the Poubelle's stole the match - they bring the crazy 'ranas and other high risk moves with the certainty of broken body parts you get from a Lita match. Some allowance has to be given to them working versus the same people in the same type of matches, but they're still pretty awesome to watch.

After general mayhem, all the tecnicos managed to pin all their rudo counters. Post match, Bebe was freed from the evil cat mask - and was completely confused to what had just happened. Beware evil cat masks!

We had two more dances between this match and the main event, but now that it's taking forever to write this, they're starting to blend together. My notes say Kitten De Ville was first, stripping herself out of plastic wrap, followed by Erochica Bamboo, who actually performed to a melody of songs rather than just one. Her performance was high energy, the opposite of mine at the moment.

MATCH 4: Rey Mysterio Sr & Psicosis (Nicho) vs Blue Demon Jr. & Solar

As you might imagine, a lot of folks in the crowd were semi-surprised at the Rey Mysterio they were getting (this being Rey Jr's uncle) and I detected some who were surprised Nicho came out maskless. Everyone knows about Psicosis' imminent WWE debut; it was mentioned by the announcers and listed in the program. This Blue Demon is the son of the one from the Golden Age of lucha, and arguable has done less adding and more living off his father's legacy than eternal rival Santo. But he was on an episode of Mucha Lucha, so score one for him. Weirdly, I think I've seen him more live than on tape. Solar is not a figure of great importance, but more a figure to round out the tag. I don't even know if this was the real Solar, because I read a report about a Cinco De Mayo show in Hidalgo where Solar was listed as wrestling, and that seems kinda like a tough commute.

Unlike the other matches, which stayed primarily in the ring, this one got crazy out of control around the ring to start. In the opening moments of the match, Psicosis left the ring, grabbed a chair, and starting both tecnicos with it. (The referee, as he did all night, decided to let all of it go.) When the tecnicos brawled back (by getting a chair of their own), Rey and Nicho walked off for a while - only for Nicho to return with a ladder! It wasn't a 'fresh out of Home Depot, shiny and new' one - instead looking like Nicho had just shoved a painter off his old rickety stand so he could use it for violence instead. Nicho, not being completely insane, wasn't flying off the ladder, but just using it as a wedge - chairs shots rammed it into each tecnico's crotch. (And still no DQ!)

The match ended up going all over the place, into the cheap seats, and back in the ring so the tecnicos could return the earlier violence. At one point, Nicho threw the ladder out of the ring while over enthusiastic fans threw chairs into the ring for him to use - luckily, everyone lived. After Blue Demon nailed Mysterio Sr. with a tope - driving him into the third row of my section (and that's why you sit in the fourth!), Solar rolled up Nicho to pick up the win.

After the match, the fight went on for a little bit longer, with the rudos arguging the count was only two, the tecnicos challenging either rudo to put their hair on the line against their masks, the rudos thinking about having a match and then reneging, and on and on with the teases. It seemed like they were going to come back to the ring at a couple different points, and there was apparently an incident involving Psicosis and security, but the rudos eventually left, and Blue Demon talked to the crowd (in English!) thanking the fans for coming out.

I bailed at that point - the last couple late starts had caused me to miss my train out of town, and given me a two hour wait for the next one. This time, I missed the El Train which would've gotten me to home-bound train in time - but the train was delayed, so I made in with two minutes to spare. Minor note in the scheme of things, but it leaves a good taste on the show when the late start is meaningless.

Lucha Va Voom returns to LA with shows on June 29th and June 30th. By the size of the audience, I'm guessing they'll be back in Chicago - maybe in the fall? There are some repetitive elements if you've been to the show before, and the lucha is a a little watered down - all the matches were one fall, and you're not going to get a match over twelve minutes. If you're never seen Mexican wrestling, or just want to have a fun evening, it's definitely worth checking out.