(I have no idea how to do this, and that's why this is so late - but I can only fail if I try.)

A while ago, I decided to recap a Survivor-ripoff show that featured participants working as a team to conquer challenges to benefit everyone, but then forced to work as individuals and vote others off the show, with the last two people going head to head to win the prize and everyone else going home with just the experience.

But then I realized what a crappy show The Weakest Link was...

Intro: "Boot Camp is a competitive game of elimination. It began with 16 'ordinary' people enduring grueling physical training and learning mental discipline. In 30 days, the recruits are molded into a cohesive unit by four actual marine drill instructors. They are not actors. Each week the recruits elect a leader, who can earn amnesty if the squad successfully completes an elaborate combat mission. In each episode, two contestants are eliminated. One is dismissed by a vote of their peers. That recruit then turns on the squad and takes another from the game. Any recruit, any reason. The ultimate payback. The final two recruits will compete in the gauntlet - 48 straight hours of physical and mental tests culminating with the final vote on dismissal hill. The prize, $500,000. Who will endure?" And the music kicks up and we see everyone's name (but Lemon's), even those who have already left.

Last week on the show: Thomson was medically discharged due to a heart condition, which left Meyer without any friends. Moretti (and other guys) and Brown formed a distrust; the guys are thinking that Brown is the one leading the women to vote off the guys. Despite the forming schism between the sexes, the squad did succeed in their mission and everyone got a personal item from home. Most choose photos and were really happy to have them back. Wolf went a little nutty when he heard that he might get voted off - the women acted offended when he confronted them but were preparing to vote off Wolf anyway. However, the women (Morretty, Brown, Whitlow, Coddington and Hutak) became convinced that Meyer was convinced by the unit of four guys (Morretti/Wolf/Jackson/Lauder) to vote with them against the women, reversing his earlier pattern. The women turned on him in the vote, the men vote against him since they never trusted him (which was right since he ended up voting for Wolf) and Yaney figured out what Meyer couldn't - everyone was against him. Since Thomson was already out, Meyer couldn't take anyone, and the crazy dude was gone. 10 are left

Day 13 (of 30), 6:30a - Fall Out. Drill Instructor Rosenbum starts the day off by pointing out Yaney's mistakes in dressing himself. Earlier in the series, Yaney was referred to as the "Gomer Pile" of this group, so this does not come as unexpected. For his part, Yaney's happy just to be around still - he's in the final ten, he didn't figure to get that far to start, so who knows how far he'll go.

The squad needs to pick a new leader, and they'll think about it while eating breakfast. Jackson tells us that he wants to wait till later to be squad leader - he wants to save that immunity for when he needs it, when "there are no more weak people to vote off." Shots of Yaney (he's goofy), Lauder (he's old) and Brown (she's a lesbian but I guess Jackson wasn't talking about that) as Jackson says there a few more people who aren't really necessary. Jackson says that some off the female recruits are doing the same. Scene of Morretty, Coddington and Brown discussing Whitlow as a candidate, then an interview with Whitlow reiterating that she wants to stay in the background until we get down to the end.

7:15 - New Squad Leader. The squad sits on the porch of the rec room, trying to decide on who it should be. Someone suggests Whitlow. Whitlow suggests Jackson. Jackson suggests Brown, and Morretti tells us in the interview that he got annoyed because he wants to vote Brown off. Some one (Coddington?) suggest Yaney. Yaney gets a deer in the headlights look, and then decides that he has nothing to lose and accepts. But he'll needs a lot of help. Wolf explains to us that everyone's using Yaney as a pawn to further their own agenda, even as they know Yaney has no chance of doing this on his own. He's gonna fail, and he's gonna fail hard. 

The squad assembles to meet DI Taylor, who tells us that she flinched when she saw Yaney in charge. Yaney asks how bad it could be. Yaney forgets what he's supposed to say in his commands in his first address to squads. It's gonna be a long three days.

8:15 - Physical Training. Yaney leads. Yaney is not doing a good job of leading. Jackson: "Yaney leading PT is like a chicken fixing a scrambled eggs." Much like that metaphor, it doesn't make any sense. Taylor winces as Yaney screws up again. DI Rosenbum shows, notices Yaney is in charge, and gets the best line of the series so far: "Hello recruits, what'd you eat for breakfast, crack?" They all say no sir. 

With that settled, we turn to Lauder. His goal was to make it halfway through, as he knows he physically can't keep up with the 20 year old kids. Shots of Lauder exerting himself, while we're reminded that Lauder will push himself far past him limit just to keep up. The 9:30 5 mile run shows that, as Lauder can't keep up with the rest of the squad, and he has to be pushed forward, than stopped to be checked out. Lauder says he feels like he's letting himself down.

Wolf provides the exposition - Lauder has been a fighter throughout his whole life. Lauder wife died 13-14 years ago, and it's been difficult for him. Lauder talks sadly about his wife and takes a shower. Lauder talks about taking good care of his kids, because his wife is taking good care of him, event today.

3:00p - Mission Training: Rappelling (Why don't they use military time?) They get to do it (for the first time) off a 50 foot tower. While they're making the trip, Hutak tells us how motivated she's become since being here. She know wants to be a marine and has no problem with the tower. Coddington tells us that Hutak is too gung ho about this Boot Camp stuff. Lauder and Hutak slap fists after successful rappelling. Hutak tells us that she's gonna contact a recruiter when she goes home. Coddington's turn, and Rosenbum tells us that she's been nicknamed Princess because of her attitude. She has a much harder time - she's scared because it's so high, all she has to catch her if she falls is DI McSweeny, and McSweeny's too busy glaring at her and calling her Cuddleington. The rappelling instructor gets annoyed with Coddington taking so long get started, and then she's very slowly walking down. Coddington says she felt good. Everyone does it again. They all do better. Even Coddington.

8:30p - Spit and Polish. Other wise known as gab fest. Jackson says the rumor is Brown is trying to get rid of the strong guys. Moretti tells us that he, Jackson and Wolf don't want to vote off Brown, because she'd probably take one of them. Moretti tells Lauder that they plan on pulling Brown off if they get voted off, and says that he knows he and Jackson are already targets. Moretti tells us that it's time for Lauder to go home and rest - putting the two together, the plan is to turn on Lauder and hope he follows through on pulling Brown, sacrificing their weakest piece for the woman's strongest. Wolf says Lauder's the weak link but they're not sure who he'll take. Lauder says he's going with Wolf(ie) - whatever Wolf says, he'll go with.

Day 14, 10:45a - Morning tasks. Lauder, working on filling sandbags with Hutak, seems to have realized that Wolf, Moretti and Jackson are going to vote him off, tries to convince her that it might be a good idea to take one of those three out. In his view, Yaney and him aren't real threats, so they should go after the other guys. Lauder tells Hutak that he hears they might have a problem with Brown, but the other four of them, along with Lauder and Yaney if it's in their best interests, are enough to take control. Hutak is non-committal during all of this and the follow-up interview, just pointing out that the trio of guys are strong personalities and the females feel the same way about some of the men. Lauder tells Hutak it all depends on the women.

12:45p - Mission Reward/Punishment. This time, each recruit will draw a picture of a food item they'd like to have. If the other recruits guess the food item correctly, they'll get it on completion of the mission. If no one guesses it, they don't get it. Hutak draws ravioli and Moretti guesses correctly. We get quick shots of the rest because I guess it's not that interesting. Whitlow finishes, and DI McSweeny is annoyed. "I know some of us dainty folks know what that is, don't we Wolf?" "Recruit Wolf knows sir." "What is it, Wolf?" "It is an assortment of Japanese sushi, sir." "An assortment, huh?" "Japanese assortment of sushi, sir." "A plethora?" "(smirking) Myriad, sir." "You're gonna do a myriad of push-ups after chow tonight." Back to drawing. Yaney draws a giant peanut M&M. They went 10 for 10, apparently. If they win, they get their food. If they loose, they eat MRE's, stale and really bad army rations, for the indefinite future.

2:45p - Mission Briefing. The object of this mission is to gain access to an enemy building, get the POW (dummies), rappel down the building and then detonate an enemy watch tower - and they have forty five minutes. As the squad proceeds to the location, Morretty talks about succeeding, if for Yaney's sake if no other reason. DI Francisco hopes he pulls it off as well. Yaney gives a pep speech and they take off. 

As we go over the reward and punishment, the squad looks for an open door. They find it no time and tie the POWs to stretchers. Interview Lauder complains about Hutak being too bossy. Interview Hutak says Lauder sometimes gets too overzealous. Yaney slips but recovers on the way down the wall. Whitlow slips and hits the wall hard. Eventually, they get the POWs down as well. As the POWs are officially rescued, Wolf tells us that Yaney picked team leaders he was sure he could trust - he delegated reasonability instead of having to do everything. 

The squad gets information about how to take wire the explosives, and Wolf, Jackson, and Moretty (the woman, not Morretti) head into a tunnel underneath the watch tower. 22 minutes left, and the three seem to be lost underneath, looking for the tower. Moretty asks Wolf to take her rappelling rope, Wolf grabs it and drops in while they argue about which way to go. Yaney goes in to help them, as they discuss the wiring. Under 15 minutes are left, and the wires are all tangled up. Yaney sets the explosives but there's a connection broken in the tangle of wires and they can't find it. Wolf tells Morretty that they don't need her anymore and she can go and she gives him a look of death and complains about it in an interview. She doesn't leave anyway. Yaney makes it back to the bunker where the rest of the squad is waiting for the explosion and yells for the rest of the team, but they're not hooked up anymore. Yaney ditches his rappelling rope and charges back in to help them finish, with just over four minutes left.

Yaney explains that the wires got kicked loose when they were leaving. The three of them (Morretty apparently having gone back already) quickly fix the problem and take off. Morretti and Whitlow attach the wires to the detonator - I hope they did that in the last twenty minutes when they were all sitting there and not just now. The squad runs out with time running out - Wolf is the last one in, and with seconds left in the mission, they blow up the watch tower. And it's a nice explosion. "I did good - I never thought I'd be a squad leader, and I really never thought I'd complete a squad mission - and I blew something up!" You gotta love Yaney.

Coming up, recruit Yaney gets yelled at by Rosenbum for missing equipment - but it may actually be Wolf's fault.

Night 14: 8:15p - Mission Reward Dinner. They all get the food they want, and it's all really good. They're ordered to relax and they're all happy and who really wants to watch that? Everyone's in awe of Jackson's sundae, but Jackson is in awe of the sushi. Wolf is cut off in mid-metaphor. They're all really happy about blowing something up. And then they're back to work again, marching back to wherever. Lauder looks to be dragging there.

10:30 - Coddington to Medic. She's got swollen ankles, which was the same thing that started with Thomson, so she's worried. She cries about it to Morretty. She seems really worried about being sick.

Day 15: 8:15am - Squad Punishment. Rosenbum yells at Yaney (while he's leading Physical Training) to do push ups right now. He's pissed. Jackson tells us that everyone had ropes, but at the end, Yaney's rope came up empty. Yaney wonders why a rope is worth so much terror. Yaney is about to collapse. Look at ever one else. Shot of Wolf looking nervous for some reason followed by Brown saying that it's all Wolf's fault - he stole Yaney's rope. Brown's mostly mad that since Yaney is getting punished everyone does push ups, rather than just Wolf. Wolf says he what happened happened. Brown points out that push ups aren't a big deal for the athletic Wolf, but very hard for Yaney. Yaney asks Brown if she knows what happened to it - she says someone took it, but she's not gonna say who. Wolf is standing two feet away. But then she tells him anyway. Yaney tells us he knows Brown and Wolf are after each other so he doesn't know if he can believe it. While the rest of the squad goes out on the morning run, Yaney gets yelled at some more. More push ups. Yaney says he can't prove anything, so he's not gonna worry about it.

8:15p - Evening Chow. Morretty tells Yaney that the blame should be on the people in the tunnel, not just Yaney. Yaney says it'd be one thing if he knows who it was, but he doesn't (watch Wolf gulp!) but he knows it wasn't him. But it's his squad so he's gonna take it. Rosenbum tells us that he doesn't really even know who left the equipment behind. Rosenbum asks Yaney who it could have been (Wolf gets yelled at in the process) and Yaney said that it could have been the four people who were in the tunnel. Shot of Wolf gulping again. He has problems. Anyway, I guess the rope was found in the tunnel since it keeps getting mentioned, so it had to be Morretti, Jackson, Yaney or Wolf, since they were the only ones in there. Rosenbum says the rumor is that it's Wolf. The drill instructors grill Wolf, who starts to blabber about integrity and gets a big "SHUT UP!" for his effort. Wolf tells us that it's ridiculous to think "that" and he would have come forward if he did do it. Wolf says he dropped his rope before he went into the tunnel. Jackson tells us the problem wasn't that Wolf didn't admit it, but that he didn't admit that he might have made a mistake. 

While the recruits discuss the situation over a camp fire, the editors pull the pieces together. When Wolf gets the explosive information for the squad, he drops his rope, at the bunker. Yaney took his off before he went back in the second time, at the bunker, because it was bugging him. Morretty says she was doubting herself for a bit, because she thought she never took her harness off, but maybe she did. And as we see here, she does, removing it in the tunnel and handing it to Wolf, who drops it. Another shot shows us Yaney and Wolf coming back to the bunkers, both without their ropes. Coddington tells us that Wolf asked her for a harness that was laying there, and she gave it to him. Back at the fire, Brown suggest that Coddington gave her Yaney's rope. Wolf points out that someone else still must have left there's in the tunnel, since he didn't go in with one. Two more shots: Morretty wearing a rope as the explosion happens, and Morretty's harness still in the tunnel while the explosion happens. 

Break here - the first time I saw this, I was really was impressed with the editing - all those shots of what happened during the mission were shown the first time around, so if you were paying close attention, you could've figured out the mystery before they did. The only problem I have not is that Morretty seems to be saying something as we cut away from the fire to show those last two shots, and it's possible that they did figure it all out themselves, making us think that Wolf might have an extra chance of being gone when they settled it all.     

Night 16, 6:30p - Dismissal Hill. I wonder if they'd just go on like normal if it rained. Time for the vote. Oddly, DI Fransico doesn't say the mission was successful before saying that Yaney cannot be dismissed. Probably because of the rope. Lots of shots of Wolf here as everyone votes. Wolf votes for Lauder. Yaney addresses his squad, and says that even though they might have lost some gear (Wolf gulps again), but they know they accomplished their goals anyway, and they can't take that away.

Time to dismiss the recruit. Rosenbum goes to Lauder, Lauder says he's a huge asset for the missions. Wolf is next, and he says he's continued to be a leader, even it comes back to hurt him. Rosenbum really likes to scare Coddington by starting at her for no real reason. He doesn't have anything to say, he's actually on his way to someone else, but he's gonna freak her out anyway. Lauder is dismissed. Lauder doesn't react to strongly, but you can tell he's disappionted. Lauder takes the front position. Everyone who voted for him steps forward and that's everyone but Yaney (who looks around surprised at the numbers.) Wolf seems surprised as well. Yaney voted for Whitlow (huh?) and Lauder voted for Jackson (huh over again?) Lauder gets his change to address the squad, but doesn't have much to say. He didn't expect to be pushed this hard. He wishes luck to everyone, Wolf epically. Lauder discharges Hutak because he doesn't like pushy women. We don't get to see Hutak's reaction before he said that, so it's tough to say if she was depressed because she knew it was coming or if it came as a shock - like it did to everyone else. (They barely planted that idea before - I wonder if the women not allying with him against the men had something to do with it?) Hutak stares out like she's seen a ghost after taking her place. I don't think she cares as much about losing the game as she does being kicked out of camp. And that's it.

Promo for next week and we're off.