Oh YEAH, the brown dude in Sum 41 wears the black Pumas I rock in that MTV at 20 thing, too. I think I’m a fan now!!!

Bengali Metal

I was eating dinner and stuff and couldn’t find my notebook but I found some paper and it took me a long while, you see. But anyway, when I click on the television I see ESSA RIOS missing a pescado on RAVEN so that immediately leads me to believe that there is a match between two competitors. Essa does hit a droptoe hold onto the steps outside, though. Michael Hayes says “pescada?” Essa now on the outer canvas, while Raven inside, but Raven with a shoulder to the stomach, suplexes in Essa, Essa lands on his feet. Essa gets in some offense – including a spear to the back of the knees. Misses the moonsault, though. Why try for that so early in the match? Desperation, perhaps?

Raven with some punches and Essa looks hurt. Raven does stuff with his boot, apparently. “Come on, ESSA!” Essa delivers some boots of his own and hits the awkward bounciness followed by an ugly armdrag. There’s a back kick, as well. Springboard off the second ropes into a crossbody (?). Raven with an irish whip and Essa gets in a catapult and a rollup only for 2. Essa misses a clothesline, as Raven runs up top and sit down. Essa tries for a ‘rana, but Raven blocks it. Top rope double axe handle does NOT hit. Essa counters with a kick. Oh shit, my dad watches me write stuff, so I stop scribbling notes and try to remember what happens next. Oh yeah, Raven hits a DDT for the 1-2-3.

Chris Leary says stuff. So go see the WWF live.

ALBERT [w/x facta music] vs. HUGH MORRUS

Albert is like the King of Workrate or something. Haha. He makes a big X with his hands, as a shout-out to all his niggaz. Or just to X-Pac. They circle and touch hands. Morrus runs in with a few high knees and punches to the back. In the corner, Morrus stomps away at Albert. Yep, just stompin’. A punch to the back, as Morrus and Albert move to another corner. Cross corner whip and a bad looking avalance by Morrus. I say it’s bad looking cuz Morrus started running less than half way across the ring. It just looked awkward is all. Albert gets in his own Irish whip, Morrus bounces off, Albert with a whip to the other corner. Albert with a real avalanche. Albert with a mean catapult thing – Morrus lays his head underneath the 1^st rope, then Albert launches his throat onto the bottom of the 2^nd rope.

Thrown to the outside, Albert with a punch. Morrus lays up against the side of the barrier, as Albert strikes him with knees to the head. Man, this guy is really dominating! Hayes says that Referee Billy Robinson looks like an “anteater.” Uh huh. They go back inside – Albert with a punch to the head. Morrus fights back with a punch, but Albert is able to hit a stalling double underhook powerslam for only a 2 count. Man, this dude has like a million moves! A MILLION! Albert signals for a press slam and THE CROWD IS GOING WILD. Really! He’s up and holy shit he’s pressing him. This is just like the Tenth Wonder of the World, I think. Hugh Morrus is like 300 pounds. :-O

After the slam, a big splash comes up for only 2. Darn. A punch and a whip and something illegible is on my paper. Albert signals for the double choke and here comes Mark Jindrak! HOLY SHIT – A RUN-IN ON METAL! Jesus Christ, storyline development on THIS show? On a tangent, I remember the time I heard that the Meat storyline was going to go somewhere because Terri and Jackie were fighting over Meat once on Shotgun – so that we’d actually GET the idea that he was a sex slave or whatever. Anyway…

This helps Morrus hit a belly to back suplex. Morrus misses an elbowdrop from the top rope. Jindrak runs in the ring and hits a DDT while Morrus keeps the ref occupied. Morrus with a  cover, 2, NO! Morrus with a punch, but Albert ducks and hits a clothesline. Albert runs the ropes, but Jindrak pulls his leg – you can guess what happens here. No, really, guess. Jindrak gets on the apron, Albert moves out of the way, Morrus hits Jindrak. WRESTLING IS FAKE. Hugh runs into the sitdown powerbomb for the win. GO WWF!

Austin, Debra and the cookies. Man, I wish I coulda eaten some! Anyway, guess who just became an INDEPENDENT WOMAN?! THROW YOUR HANDS UP AT ME, girlfriend! Austin does accept Kurt Angle’s challenge for Summerslam.

SCOTTY 2 HOTTY vs. JUSTIN CREDIBLE

Man, this music…it just makes me wanna…dance! They circle and tag hands. Scotty gives us the CLAP! But we also get quite a few ECW chants. Lockup, Scotty pushes towards the corner, Credible pushes out, and Scotty pushes back into the corner. A break, but Credible with a HEELISH punch! HEELISH! Scotty blocks and hits his own punch. A shove by Credible. Scotty hits an atomic drop without a knee for 2. Credible with a knee, but later on, Scotty hits a flying headscissors for 2. And a backdrop off the ropes, as well!

Scotty tries a baseball slide, but Credible slides out of the way. Scotty gets crotched onto the post. Credible comes back into the ring, goes back out and throws Scotty back in. A stomp and a raking of the eyes near the ropes. Credible with a back elbow. A couple of nearfalls do no good for Credible and now, we go to the trusty side headlock and here comes Scotty with the tried and true bread basket elbows. Eventually, Scotty hits some punches and a back suplex. Scotty hits a flying fore arm. Credible gets whipped into the ropes and he lands in an unfamiliar position with his stomach on top of the turnbuckle. A tug of the ropes by Scotty and he gets crotched! Anyway, Scotty runs into a a superkick no less than a minute later! Yeeouch!

THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO THE WWF.

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

Rhyno and Awesome versus Gunn and Show

I decided that I did not want to recap this match, so you’re screwed out of any thoughts from me. Well, no. Show dominates in the start, right. And then, Gunn does some crap with Rhyno and Awesome. And Rhyno was gonna go for a gore, but runs into Gunn’s clothes line. The fans wanted the gore. Awesome didn’t do too much – he might have hit a belly to belly in this match, but I forget! Anyway, Gunn hits the fame asser and we might have new 37 time Jakked Tag Team Champions by next week, folks. See ya.