Bengali Metal
Televised: 07/14/01
With summer classes finally coming to a close, I feel it's an obligation to continue to write. Or read. Or just something more productive other than chatting for 4 hours. So recap, I must. I've got a couple of Kerouac books that I bought a couple months ago that I haven't read yet - it would be nice to read them.
Just to add my thoughts to those guys in that CZW match Joe recapped - since I went to a UCW show over at the old Elk's Lodge about 3 weeks ago. The SAT are just amazing. Quiet Storm elicited quite a few "YOU'RE NOT BENOIT!" chants from my smart mark section. His match with Brian XL seemed pretty neat - but it was really early on and I was just all "who ARE these guys?" The crowd really liked Red, as he had a pretty kickass match with Minoru Fujita, who is Japanese (!). I really don't know who this Chris Devine feller is, though. I think I was sitting a few seats away from DVDVR Playas - one dude was wearing a Ken The Box tee shirt and another was wearing a WING tee shirt. Hmm. Oh yeah, I got to see Low-Ki TWICE live in one week [his match with Raven on Jakked, and in the UCW main against Xavier]. Missy Hyatt's right - the Backseat Boyz rule!
Bengali Metal
CRASH vs. SOME GUY
See here - I reached the comfort of my television around 11:05, which means I caught myself somewhere in the middle of this match. Crash is on offense with punches, I guess. Some Guy hits a side suplex. Crash hits a suplex, as well, but Some Guy hits an enziguri for 2. I think this is the Inferno Kid. It's the tights and boy, he does look like someone who Mark Henry would throw around across a bar in order to defend his beloved Chyna. Michael Hayes doesn't like ECW much at all. Crash with a rollup for 2.
Some Guy gets a clothesline for 2. Choke. Whip and a back elbow for 2. A punch a boot, as well. Crash with punches, but gets pulled head first onto the second turnbuckle in a nifty way. SPIKE AND HOLLY ON HEAT! Those two are cute together! Some guy with a boot to Crash's throat. There's a back breaker for 2. Ah, the knee to the back while bending the head back, as well. There's yet ANOTHER choke on the ropes. Hooray. There's a cross corner whip, but Some Guy runs into a boot. Crash, up top, hits a missile dropkick for the standard 1 2 and by God three.
Umm…Coach shills WWF live events. I've been to two already!
I check out MTV's Real World X! Boy, that Mike sure is a retard!
Dream's in a Twix commercial! They actually wear clothes! I wear clothes, too! (Shirts, preferably.)
My little brother wants to rob Lil' Bow Wow of his leather jacket. Should I SUPPORT or ADMONISH this type of behavior???
JVC sponsored clips of King Edge The Awesome pulling off tomfoolery - in order for Jeff Hardy to win the Hardcore Title.
HAKU vs. KYLE McNEELY
Kyle's black and NOT Irish. Or he might be Irish, as well. Black Irish, even? He's also ONYX somewhere. And he's also a huge midget. Collar and Elbow tie up to start - dueling waistlocks to start - Haku with the upper hand, with an elbow to the head. Stomp, chop from our Afro-laden friend. Cross corner whip leads to a running clothesline. Punches and and elbow to the back. "HEE YAW!" Suplex for 2, as Haku pulls him up as a way to deal even MORE punishment. That…that…BEAST! Punch to the face, ooh another one, kicks, McNeely's face meets the turnbuckle, there's a chop and again, meeting the turnbuckle. McNeely with an elbow, but HAKUUUUUUU PUNCHES! McNeely with a cross corner whip, reversed, McNeely with a boot to a running Haku. There's a punch. Suplex? Yes. McNeely tries for a splash, but there's Haku with a punch! Cross corner whip, reversed, another boot by McNeely. Uh oh - Haku's getting' angry. The Tongan Death Grip is as inevitable as something inevitable could ever get. Really.
I'm tired, so I'll recap the rest of this oh so exciting syndicated program LIZZATER.
I'm BIZZACK and doin' laundry as we spizzeak. We see a long segment devoted to TOUGH ENOUGH. Bye, Bobbie Joe!
JERRY LYNN vs. JASON SUGARMAN
Sugarman looks tall and really big. Yep. Collar and elbow - headlock by Lynn - shot onto the ropes, Lynn bounces off, but Sugarman hits a shoulder block. We see some stuff in between and Sugarman with another shoulder block. Lynn does cinch in a headlock, but Sugarman soon shoots off a few arm drags and a dropkick for a cover of 2. There's a standing armbar, as well. Lynn punches out and boy, he's pissed. Shoves Sugarman into a corner and places some boots into his abdomen. Cross corner whip leads to Lynn bouncing off onto the canvas. Sugarman with some short shoulder tackles through the second and third ropes, but it gives Lynn the grand opportunity to hit a nice legdrop by lifting himself with the top rope. Cool visual.
Back in, and Lynn with some more offense - including a shin to the throat. Lynn screams out about how he doesn't like RVD. The announcers talk about Lynn and what his involvement with this huge feud will be. But not Hayes - he just doesn't like anybody, it seems. There's a choke on the ropes from Lynn. Sugarman with punches and a cross corner whip. Something happens and Lynn is able to hit a bulldog off the top rope. There's some boots from Lynn, as well. A knee to the head. Snapmare and a legdrop for 2.
Lynn with a headlock, but Sugarman with some bread basket elbows. Lynn with a rake of the eyes. YOU CAD! Nice spot as Lynn tries for a Russian Legsweep, gets that blocked, tries again and works. But you can't exactly tell who got hit worse, cuz Lynn gets up before Sugarman. But Sugarman quickly gets some offense in, regardless. So I guess with 'wrestling logic,' it was Sugarman's move, not Lynn's. Right!
Sugarman with a NICE gorilla press into a powerslam for 2. Lynn with some punches, a cross corner whip, Sugarman tries for a Gorilla press, but Lynn COUNTERS with a Tornado DDT for the win! Nice finish and a fun match to watch altogether.
LITA has a VIDEO out. I'm sure there will be THONG in it.
Lots of great stuff from RAW and SmackDOWN. Oh, man - this was just great stuff. Though, I complete understand WHY someone could hate it.
LUGZ BOOT OF THE WEEK is Spike Dudley running in, leading to the APA becoming the NEW WWF Tag Team Champions.
KAIENTAI vs. ESSA RIOS and K-KWIK [already in the ring]
TAKA says "Eeesa" and "Krick". They're a "great team" and they are "EEEEEEEEEEVIL." Funaki says "inDEED." The new voiceover dude sucks, though. Ah yes, Kaientai waltzes down, stop, says a few things and then CHOP. I LOVE THAT! (You don't get it cuz you suck.) Taka and Essa to start. Essa with a little bow. Collar and Elbow - Taka with a headlock, Essa with his own, pushed into the ropes and Essa hits a shoulder block. Essa with an armdrag, flying headscissors and a dropkick. Taka runs quickly to tag in FUNAKI. YES!
Kwik in, as well. Kwik really knows how to dance. Yeah. Kwik with a QUICK (ha ha) drop toe hold. Some punches and a flying forearm. Flatliner for 2. Boy, Kwik sucks. Tag in to Essa, who stomps and kicks. BOUNCINESS off the top rope leads to a scoop slam. Crowd likes that. Some punches, also.
Taka hits a nice side suplex on uhh…someone. There's a punch! A drop toe hold! A missile dropkick! CHEERS! Chop section ensues - I think it's between Taka and Essa. Taka's getting the brunt of the pain, but RECOVERS SPLENDIDLY with an eyepoke. A slap and a pullin' of the hair. Snapmare by Taka. Tag to Funaki, who goes up to the second ropes and…
…HITS a double stomp. Lovely. Funaki taunts Kwik by DANCIN' LIKE A BLACK MAN. I am shocked and appalled by this mocking of African American culture. (No, I'm not.) Essa fights back kinda - whipping Funaki into the ropes, but Funaki holds on. Essa then tries to hit this running dropkick but he hits the ropes, instead. Funaki capitalizes by hitting a snap suplex for 2.
Tag in to TAKA! Taka with chops to Essa's throat. Three times, in fact! Cover for 2. Snapmare and a diving chop to Essa's throat. Up top, but Essa crotches the Japanese superhero. Essa goes up, but gets shoved off. He tries again and hits an AMAZING GIVE THIS A DOUBLE FEATURE SPRINGBOARD RANA. It was great. PUSH ESSA. (Don't. Ha ha.)
Essa crawls and HOO WAH TAG TO KWIK! Kwik does a lot of stuff, but I totally ignore it cuz I hate K Kwik about as much as I hate all white people. (I kid! Oh ho ho, I kid!) The ending is Kwik hitting a front suplex on Funaki, while Essa hits a moonsault on TAKA. Ref counts the Kwik pinfall for the win.
What I learned.
Absolutely nothing. Other than I can juggle laundry with recapping a syndicated wrestling show that starts at 11pm on a Saturday night. Maybe I should OD on E at Club Exit. Umm…maybe not.
Tanvir
grandhassan@yahoo.com