Kaientai: Men With Purpose
Posted: 05/08/01
When I watch wrestling nowadays, it's not to think of some really cool idea for a column. It's not to critique the various segments. It's not for any really good reason other than the neverending desire for entertainment. And I know entertainment when I see it.
Entertainment in the WWF needs only one word: KAI-EN-TAI. Yes, KAI-EN-TAI. These evil and cunning warriors strive for supremacy within the WWF. And that strive - that BATTLE - is something that the millions of fans who tune in every week enjoy. Yes, they do.
When Funaki cinches in his customary camel clutch, the crowd launches itself into a frenzy. A frenzy in know that yes, TAKA will hit his dreaded seated dropkick into some do-gooder's face. They recognize that it can only spell doom for whoever decides to cross the paths of these modern day warriors.
Oh, but these men aren't just great fighters, they're quite adept orators, as well. When TAKA grabs his mic and briefly threatens his opponent, the crowd is in a hush, for they know that what TAKA speaks - it is real. Realer than the boasting that hypocrites like "HHH" and "Undertaker" speak of. The crowd knows whose words hold more weight.
And when Funaki grabs the mic, the crowd knows what to expect. Funaki is a quiet man, a man of few words. Actually, a man of one word.
Indeed.
With this word, Funaki concurs with TAKA's bantering. The fans - they respect this mostly silent gladiator. He, who stays quiet in the face of the arrogance that prevails within the WWF, is said to be one of the most respected wrestlers within the company. Funaki knows the truth. The fans bring signs to show their appreciation for the truth. They even have begun to chant along with Funaki - thus showing their absolute respect for both men.
Now, Kaientai has a new tee shirt out. Perhaps, you saw it on RAW. Obviously, the WWF recognizes the immediate drawing power of two of the most dangerous men on the roster. Even Ken Shamrock, supposed "Most Dangerous Man In the World" is afraid? The truth, you may ask. I respond, where is Ken now? Fighting in Japan - against their weaker countrymen. Men who were soundly defeated by the strength, the power, the ability of...Kaientai.
Of course, industry insiders remain skeptical about what path both men will take in the future. Will movies, music, and other forms of entertainment be along the way for two men who have accomplished everything they could throughout various promotions in Japan and WWF? Or will they continue to dominate and maintain their superiority over all challengers? I'm willing to bet TAKA and Funaki will be able to do both. Nevertheless, their future looks bright. About as bright as the rising sun in their homeland. Indeed.
Tanvir, biographer-at-large
grandhassan@yahoo.com