WWE SmackDown! - 07/01/04
by Tom Feely

So, GAB thoughts. Rey/Chavo ***3/4, Bullrope ***1/2. As for the title switch, well...I don't really mind it. It's better than Eddie/Mordecai. Plus I like JBL, and the two have chemistry together. This is all assuming JBL will drop the title back to Eddy soon enough, however. Plus it's not like the champion's been the focus of the show since JD. Really, all this stupid Undertaker shit offends me more than Bradshaw winning the belt. Especially since he has "transitional champ", whoever he loses it to, written all over him.

Last week, WWE won some awards or some crap.

TV PG D L V W W E

No intro again this week, as we get MR. KURT ANGLE in his office, crippled. "Good evening. Last Sunday, at the Great American Bash, a great American injustice occurred in the WWE Championship match between John Bradshaw Layfield and Eddy Guerrero. Referee Nick Patrick proclaimed Eddy Guerrero the winner of the match. Well, referee Nick Patrick was wrong. I proved he was wrong by showing him the following footage."

The following footage (from the GAB)

"I'm proud of myself for having the guts to allow justice to prevail. This was not an act of malice. I do not hold a grudge against Eddy Guerrero. And I hope Eddy Guerrero does not hold a grudge against me. However, lying, cheating and stealing was never a match for intensity, integrity, and intelligence. Eddy Guerrero is no longer the WWE Champion. There is a new sheriff in town. A new WWE Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD."

Angle applauds dingdingdingdingding moooo and here's JBL's limo, now also adorned in American flags and red white and blue bunting on the hood. Oh, and below the windows. And here's the champ, belt in one hand, cowboy hat in the other, smile on his face. And cut on his forehead. Hahaha shaking the hand of everyone along the aisle. YES kissing a baby. Hey the ring has a red carpet, red white and blue bunting along the ropes, and hahaha "CONGRATULATIONS JBL" banner on the side. Awesome. Oh man, and balloons ties to two of the turnbuckles. JBL has a mic: "Thank you. Thank you very much. As our late, great former President Ronald Reagan once said, IT'S MORNING AGAIN IN AMERICA. It's the dawn of a new era, the John Bradshaw Layfield era. And I promise ya this, to all of our fans, I will become the most popular WWE Champion of all time. I know, I know how America loves a winner. And America, I will give you that love back. I will shake hands with you, America. All of my fans. Of course, I prefer a nod of recognition, for no other reasons than sanitary reasons, of course, I mean, shaking hands you can get germs, and honestly, you don't want your champion gettin' sick now, do you? And for those of you who insist on shaking my hand, I wanna tell ya, don't be offended by the fact that I will take out a little hand sanitizer." hahaha he does so and cleans his hands. Eddy chants begin. "Because I want you to know, folks, it's not personal. It's just personal hygiene." hahahaha big smile, awesome "Because I will kiss your babies, as long as, of course, they don't smell bad, they don't spit up, or they don't have runny noses. And I want you fans to get to know me, okay? I prefer to be called Mr. Bradshaw. But if you wanna be familiar with me, you can call me Champion. Or Champ! Because I am the WWE Champion. Y'see, after Ronald Reagan passed away, and John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King were taken from us at such an early age, what you needed, America, is a champion. I am proud. I am proud to be your champion. So I don't mind you sayin' it, you can say it now if you want. J-B-L. J-B-L. C'mon. J-B-L. J-B-L. J-B-L." This, surprisingly, fails to work. "Because that will inspire me. That will inspire me to be the fighting champion that I will be, unlike Eddy Guerrero. Y'see I went into Kurt Angle's office, and I looked him in the eye, and I said 'Mr. Angle, I wanna fight tonight. I don't wanna rest on my laurels as champion, I wanna defend this WWE Championship, and not just against anybody, but against somebody who was at the Great American Bash. And I plan on defending this tonight, right here, right here in--, right here in--" hahahaha he ducks his head out of the ring and consults Tony Chimel, awesome "Right here in FAYETTEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA! And Mr. Angle told me that I could choose the person that I wanna defend my championship against. As long as that person was not Eddy Guerrero. Because, quite honestly, I felt like Eddy's fallen off the wagon. Right now, Eddy's not here. If he were here, he'd walk in this ring like a man, shake my hand, and tell me the better man won last Sunday. But he won't do that. Because Eddy Guerrero right now, I'm sad to say, is probably knee deep in a bottle of pills or knee deep in a bottle of vodka." Tequila was RIGHT THERE "And it hurts me very very badly, it PAINS me to know that you had a champion that you people were ashamed of. BE ASHAMED NO MORE, because the era of John Bradshaw Layfield has arrived. And I promise you this, I vow, no wait, I guarantee. I guaranteed victory at Judgment Day, and I guaranteed I would be the new WWE Champion at the Great American Bash. So I'm now guaranteeing you, my fellow Americans, that I will be a champion that you can be proud of. Thank you, and GOD BLESS AMERICA!"

TONIGHT!: A revisitation of the Undertaker killing Paul Bearer!

UP NEXT!: RVD vs. Booker vs. Dupree for #1 contendership for the U.S. title!

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ROB VAN DAM (230, Battle Creek, MI) vs. RENE DUPREE (w/Fifi, 260, Paris, France) vs. BOOKER T (256, Houston, TX) in a Triple Threat Match to determine the #1 contender to the WWE United States Championship
Booker tries to punch RVD right away, it gets blocked and RVD punches him back. Dupree kick caught, RVD "hits" that spinkick counter. Clothesline on Booker, now Dupree, here's Booker with a right. Right, irish whip to the corner, Dupree charges and gets back bodydropped to the floor. Booker in the corner with a right, right, right. Up by the hair, chop against the ropes, right. Irish whip, spinkick ducked and RVD hits one of his own. Standing moonsault for two. Up, right, but Booker kicks RVD in the gut. Right in the corner, right, right, stomp. Again up by the hair, to the other corner. RVD blocks a head to the turnbuckle, then kicks Booker in the face. Up top, thrust kick to the face. 1, 2, broken up by Dupree. Booker rolls out as Dupree stomps away on RVD. Head to the turnbuckle, to the center of the ring, jab, jab, jab knocks RVD down. Stomp, irish whip to the corner, charge meets elbow. RVD leaps onto the second rope and bounces back with a thrust kick to Dupree's face. Dupree up, right, right, spinkick ducked, Dupree gets a right to the gut. Powerbomb blocked, so Dupree tries a sunset flip, but RVD rolls through and dropkicks him in the face. Rolling thunder for two, broken up by Booker. Booker rights on RVD as Dupree gets the occasional kick in. Dupree choking RVD against the bottom rope. Booker with the arm wringer into a superkick. Dupree gets a forearm drop, picks RVD up, then holds him. Booker superkick, RVD dodges and it "hits" Dupree. RVD with a right to Booker, right, irish whip, Booker holds on but gets clotheslined out. RVD dropkicks Dupree, who gets hung up in the ropes. Off the ropes, dropkick to the chest. Booker has a chair, chairshot ducked, Van Daminator! R-V-D. RVD off the ropes as Dupree gets loose, telegraphs the back body drop so RVD backflips off him. Dupree turns around, and RVD slingshots him to the outside. Up top, crossbody takes Dupree out. And at (04'55") we go to

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We come back with Booker T giving RVD a sidewalk slam, then Dupree coming off the second rope with the Bret Hart elbowdrop. Booker covers for two, since Dupree pulls him off. Booker up, shoves Dupree, who shoves him back. RVD schoolboys Booker, but Dupree breaks that up at one. Stomp, now Booker and Dupree back RVD into the corner and alternate kicks. Dupree chokes RVD with his boot. Crowd chanting for RVD. Booker picks RVD up, suplex. Dupree off the ropes, elbowdrop, cover broken up by Booker. Booker throws RVD out, and Dupree takes over with a right, right, right. So Booker comes back with a knee, right, chop, right, chop, right, chop, right, right, irish whip reversed, Dupree powerslam. And now the French Tickler. Off the ropes, forearm drop misses. Booker tries to pick him up and gets low blowed. Booker in the corner, stomp, stomp, stomp, choking him with his boot. RVD has a chair set up between the ropes in the opposite corner. Behind Dupree with a right, right, irish whip reversed and RVD goes headfirst into the chair, ow. Backs into a german suplex for two. Booker kicks Dupree, fisherman suplex (!) for two. Booker picks him up, but Dupree punches him in the gut. Dupree off the ropes and...into a spinebuster. Booker pops up, staring at the hand. THE FIRST EVER SMACKDOWN SPINAROONIE! And there's a spinkick by RVD to take Booker out. RVD up top, ***** frog splash onto Booker, who rolls out of the ring. Dupree cradles RVD in the meantime, but only gets two. Dupree picks RVD up by the hair and punches him in the face. Picks him up again, jab, jab, jab, off the ropes, big right ducked, inverted atomic drop by RVD. Followed with a spinkick. Up top again, another ***** frog splash! Covers, one, two, Booker pulls him out and slides back in. He covers Dupree, hooks Dupree's leg with his own so he can't be pulled out, and gets the three at (05'09", 10'04" total aired). Hahahaha. The leg hooking was a nice touch. RVD is suitably anguished. When was the last time Dupree actually won a match?

Backstage, SOME GUY knocks on JBL's door. He answers. "Yes sir, how ya doin', John Bradshaw Layfield, you new WWE Champion, how's your family?" "Good, thank you." "Good, good." "Mr. Bradshaw, the candidates that you requested are in the locker room and wanna know when they can expect you." "Haha, outstanding, I'll be right there." And there he goes.

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We get an extreme close-up of LUTHER REIGNS. "This is the footage Mr. Angle wanted you to see." As the camera pans out, we see the you is referee CHARLES ROBINSON. "Footage from the Great American Bash. From the match you refereed, Torrie vs. Sable." Footage of Torrie being pinned without her shoulders down. "You saw the same thing I did, right?" "Yeah." "Torrie Wilson's shoulders weren't even down when you counted three. Now Mr. Angle has no love lost for Torrie Wilson, that's for sure. But he does demand perfection, and he WON'T tolerate mistakes." "I understand." "Listen. You damn right you understand. But you're gonna get a chance to make it up tonight. Because tonight you've been assigned to referee the rematch, Torrie Wilson vs. Sable." "I can do that." "Charles, make no mistake about it. You screw this up, and the consequences will be severe." Reigns leaves, and Charles looks worried.

Now, some other locker room, where Booker T and JOHN CENA are arguing indecipherably. Looking on are REY MYSTERIO, HARDCORE HOLLY, and THE DUDLEY BOYZ. And here's JBL "Guys guys guys guys, listen, listen." Bubba: "What's happenin', champ?" "AMERICA. America's the land of opportunity. And like I said, I wanna give somebody that was at the Great American Bash an opportunity to become--[displays belt] the WWE Champion. The question is-- who's it gonna be? Is it gonna be the five-time, five-time, five-time champion, Booker T? Or will it be, 619? Haha, I love you people. Or is it gonna be the hardcore legend, Bob Holly?" Uh, no. JBL moves down the line to Cena, who cuts him off: "The champ is HERE." "Hahaha, yes there is, thanks. Or is it gonna be the rapster, John Cena? Word, dog! Hahaha. Or, a Dudley?" Bubba: "I'll shake your hand, champ. Congratulations." He does so. "But I've already made up my mind. I've already chosen who it's gonna be! And the person that I choose to fight tonight for the WWE Championship is none other than...A DUDLEY." The Dudleyz are happy and taunt Cena and Rey as JBL speaks. "Can you just imagine, tonight, right here, the WWE Championship, John Bradshaw Layfield versus...a Dudley. SPIKE Dudley." Cena: "A-haaaaaaaaaa." Rey: "WHAAAAAAT" Everyone rags on the Dudleyz as we cut out.

TONIGHT!: Torrie Wilson vs. Sable, the rematch everyone demanded

TONIGHT!: Paul Bearer has one last chance to make us miss him, and does so by yelling "I'M DYING!"

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EARLIER TONIGHT!: Booker T becomes #1 contender to the U.S. Title

They announce that Cena-Booker will take place next week from Winnipeg.

REY MYSTERIO (175, San Diego, CA) vs. MORDECAI (270, I dunno Hell or something)
Mordecai is undefeated! Circle, lockup, Mordecai pushes Rey into the corner. Knee, big right misses, Rey kicks Mordecai in the back of the leg and bolts. Mordecai with a kick to the gut and a big right. Irish whip, Rey slides through the legs. Rey tries a drop toe hold but Mordecai stomps him. Off the ropes, legdrop misses, Rey dropkicks Mordecai in the head. Right, right, picks him up, kick to the leg. Irish whip doesn't work, again, Mordecai whips Rey into the corner. Charge misses, Rey tries the ocean cyclone bulldog but gets caught in a full nelson and dropped onto the top turnbuckle. Mordecai grabs Rey's arms from the outside and pulls back, with Rey's neck also pressed up against the post. Mordecai back in and covers for two. Double sledge, another, half straightjacket hold. Rey elbows out but gets clubbed in the back. Irish whip, back body drop telegraphed, Rey kicks him in the head. Rey leaps onto the second rope, but Mordecai grabs him in a hangman or whatever you call it. Like the crucifix in crucifix bomb but grabbing him by the neck. Rey kicks Mordecai in the back three times, which is enough to break it. Rey in the corner, charge hits boot. Again. Rey onto the second rope, missile dropkick. Clothesline ducked, kick to the leg, right, right, right. Off the ropes, clothesline ducked, Rey off the second rope with a springboard crossbody for two. Both men up, Mordecai gets a thrust to Rey's throat. Up on one shoulder, Rey slips out and shoves him into the corner. Kick to the leg, irish whip reversed, but Rey leaps off the second rope with a springboard DDT. Mordecai climbing up the ropes, 619! Off the rope, West Coast Pop caught. Rey dropped into the ropes and gets a big boot into the jaw. Mordecai picks him up, crucifix bomb gets reversed into a rana for three! (04'20" WEEEEEED). Mordecai is shocked and upset. And perhaps damning this audience to Hell.

UP NEXT!: Paul Bearer dies

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Paul Bearer has severe respiratory injuries. Okay. Wait, here's PAUL HEYMAN. They don't really show the TitanTron so it remains to be seen if it still says SmackDown GM. Wait there we go, they got rid of it. "Ladies and gentlemen (1), I am the single most impactful power broker in all of World Wrestling Entertainment." Wow, way to beat out..."Mr. Dot-Com" Paul Ellering? "You see, it was I, Paul Heyman, who forced the Undertaker, against his own will, to accept the fact that his human emotions from Paul Bearer was the only thing stopping the Phenom from inflicting a reign of terror the likes of which none of you have ever seen before. It was I, Paul Heyman, who compelled the Undertaker to face his only weakness. And it was I, Paul Heyman, who showed the Undertaker the way at the Great American Bash, to do the right thing. But even I, Paul Heyman, hadda be surprised at the Great American Bash when the Undertaker made the conscious decision to do the right thing. Oh, ladies and gentlemen (2), I call your attention to the screen where history demands your attention."

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"Ladies and gentlemen (3), now, now the Undertaker is truly unstoppable. Because now the Undertaker has no conscience. Now the Undertaker has no restraints. There is NOTHING stopping the Undertaker from being more dangerous than he has ever been before. And let's face facts: the Undertaker has no one to thank but Paul Heyman. The Undertaker owes me a debt of gratitude. And I intend on collecting that debt with interest, because I, Paul Heyman--" HEY here's lightning hitting the ring posts. DONG here's THE UNDERTAKER on the TitanTron. "Heyman, you showed me that I had a weakness. That weakness was Paul Bearer. I had no other choice than to get rid of him. But if I would do that to the one person that mattered to me, the only living soul that I cared for, can you imagine what I'm gonna do to you? Paul Heyman, REST...IN...PEACE." Heyman stands there stunned and worried. I sit here sick of this shit. And we go to

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Shot of the beautiful...whatever arena, I fast-forwarded past the name.

TONIGHT! JBL vs. Spike Dudley!

SABLE (no weight, no home) vs. TORRIE WILSON (no weight, no home)
Your referee is the worried Charles Robinson. Sable takes over with a spear and...assorted clawing? Sable tries to run but gets thrown back over the guardrail. And thrown back in. Torrie with a slingshot as Tazz rags on Charles Robinson's roots showing. Chop, kick, kick, whip (kind of) by the hair. Stomp, stomp, picks her up. Irish whip reversed, Torrie rebounds off the second rope, gets thrown onto the apron and then forearmed off. Sable with a kick to the ribs outside, another, throws Torrie back into the ring. Cover for two. Drags her to the corner by her hair. Picks her up, knee, knee, knee, snapmare. Sits her up, kick to the back. Another. Throws her to the ground, brushes the hair out of her eyes. And pulls the wedgie out of her ass. Choking Torrie with her boot against the bottom rope. Again. Slamming her face into the mat. Again. Blatant choke. Sable going for...something and gets backslid for two. Clothesline ducked, DDT. That's enough to finish it at (03'16"). That sucked. Replay of the DDT.

Wait, here's Mr. Angle on the big screen. "Charles! Charles? Congratulations, Charles. You managed to officiate a match without incident. Unfortunately, that's not good enough. I've decided I can't let the infraction you committed at the Great American Bash go unpunished. You need to be taught a lesson, Charles. In order for you to see how your decisions affect the Superstars, you need to become one yourself. So take off your shirt, Charles. I SAID TAKE IT OFF." He does so. "That's better, because I'm putting you in a match, Charles. A match you WILL compete in. Unless, of course, you wanna quit your job. I thought so. So get ready, because I'm gonna be sending out your opponent...Luther Reigns." Charles is distressed as we go to

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CHARLES ROBINSON (no weight, no home) vs. LUTHER REIGNS (nothing announced)
Robinson is arguing with one of his peers as Luther comes down.. Bell rings and Robinson runs, but gets caught outside. Knee to the gut. Picked up, thrown back in. And at (00'18"), here's CHARLIE HAAS with a right, right, right, right. Off the ropes, big forearm knocks Luther out. He takes his fellow Charles and takes him to the back as Luther is very very angry.

RAW Rebound: A bunch of crap with a retard. And some more crap with Kane, which is close enough.

SPIKE DUDLEY is taping his wrists, and here are his (half-)brothers. "What's up, Spike?" "D-Von." "How's things?" "Things are good." "What'd ya do, hit the lottery?" "Whaddya mean?" "Don't play stupid with me, brother. You know exactly what I mean. JBL wins the WWE Championship, and YOU? You're the Dudley he's talking about? YOU'RE the one who gets the first opportunity at his title? Something's up, what gives?" "You think I control what JBL does?" "Spike, that's...that's amazing, it really is. Bubba, lemme ask you a question. We've been here a few years now, and I don't ever recall getting a WWE title match, do you?" "Never, ever, have we ever gotten an opportunity like this. But you know what, you're gonna make this family proud. We're your brothers, and we got your back. Anything goes wrong in that ring, we'll be the first ones there. You know why?" "Why?" "You're good with gold around your waist, Spike. After you go in that ring and defeat JBL, we know that me and D-Von will be the first ones in line for an opportunity at the NEW WWE Championship." "It's a golden opportunity." "Isn't that right, little brother? Isn't that right?" "You know what? Yeah, we're family. But if I'm gonna beat JBL in the ring tonight, I'd just as soon do it on my own. Thanks for your offer to help, thank you. But no thanks." Spike leaves, and we go to

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And here's KENZO SUZUKI. Tazz says "Hiroko"! Out for...an interview? He goes on in Japanese. Okay. And here's John Cena. Throwback of the week: Natrone Means, #20, UNC Tar Heels. "Yo yo yo yo yo yo, Kenzo Suzuki! EVERY WEEK he comes out here. MAD as a MOTHER. Boy's angry. But hey, we got a problem. Nobody understands a damn thing you sayin'! Y'all gotta recognize, you up in North Caroliiiiiina! You in OUR hood, now. But don't get me wrong, these people are cultured up in hurr. They understand BASIC Japanese, you know, like...sushi. Aw trust me, I tried it all, I even go to the Red Snapper every once a month. They know about...SAKI! Ah, ah, this one time I got a lil bit TOO crunked up offa saki, it was weird, ended up with a can of mayonnaise and a sandwich, but thas cool, thas cool. YO, GODZILLA!" Insert bad Godzilla impression here "And we know, we know about the happy ending. Y'all TRY to keep it secret, but we know about it. AND I LOVE YA FOR IT! But I'm out here...for you, man. Whoa whoa don't bicker between you, we don't need Jerry Springer up in here. I'm out here for you. I'm your boy. I'M FLUENT IN JAPANESE! So what we gon do, is I'm gonna get that promo back up on the screen, and John Cena gon tell everybody in the building and the whole world why in the hell you so angry and what the hell you're about! Let's get that up on the screen, c'mon now."

Segment one: Words in English: "Kenzo Suzuki"
"Alright, alright, I'm a little rusty, gimme a few, chill, chill. Ladies and gentlemen, I make these horribly ugly faces because I am violently constipated. And my name is KENZO SUZUKI. Yo yo, that was it, right, that was good?" Kenzo consults with Hiroko. "NAW, keep goin', keep goin', c'mon, c'mon"

Segment two: Words in English: "United States of America"
"Okay, chill chill chill chill I'm gettin' confused. It's somethin' like ohhhh the poopoo the poopoo the poopoo is HORRIBLE. It's like, like trying to stuff a loaf of french bread through a keyhole. That's why I need to be escorted on my own personal toilet all the way to the ring. Here in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!" Hiroko seems shocked and outraged. "Let your boy know we're good, we're good, these people understand now. Keep goin, keep goin'."

Segment three: Word in English: "Hiroko"
"Y'all are freaks! Check this out, check this out here. This is my hermaphrodite proctologist Hiroko. Tonight, we will go on a date. Maybe we will see the movie 'White Chicks'. I think she will like it. She gets her face painted white eeeeeevery night." She is shocked and disgusted. "Yoooouuu, HEY. No banter out of you, you little freak he-she. C'mon, c'mon, what else we got?"

Segment four: Word in English: "Kenzo Suzuki"
"Okayokayokay, you can catch my horrible Japanese mullet on your local gay naked beach. And if you have problems with your poop, you too can be KENZO SUZUKI. That's, that's hey hey hey, don't go thankin' me all at once, man, this is crazy, I just taught everyone in here Japanese, y'all wit me? Okay, okay, so now we're gonna return the favor to you. Cuz mahself and alllll North Carolina gonna teach you some English. Ready? YOU CAN'T SEE ME."

John Cena leaves as Suzuki acts confused and outraged. Hiroko explains and he gets even angrier.

JBL is WALKING! And stopping to shake hands and ask people about their families. Awesome. And he passes a car with fuzzy dice on it. He asks whose it is, and it is in fact Eddy Guerrero's. JBL seems worried, then laughs it off and leaves.

UP NEXT!: JBL vs Spike Dudley!

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NEXT WEEK!: John Cena vs. Booker T for the U.S. Title

SPIKE DUDLEY (150, no home) vs. the NEW WWE Champion JOHN BRAD$HAW LAYFIELD (297, New York, NY) for the WWE Championship
JBL pops out of the top of his limo with his hat and belt. Shaking hands down the aisle again. Circle, lockup, Spike gets shoved to the corner. Clean break! Spike tries to go for the legs but misses. Lockup, Spike shoved into the corner. Another lockup, pushed into the corner, no clean break this time as JBL forearms Spike. Kick to the gut, clubbing right across the back. Picks Spike up and throws his head into the mat. Again, ow. Right, Spike falls into the corner. Pulled out, another right to the head. Bradshaw sucks chants. Off the ropes, clothesline ducked, kick to the leg, kick to the leg, kick to the leg, dropkick. Spike goes crazy with punches then steps on him repeatedly in the corner. Then runs into a big boot. JBL throws Spike out towards the entranceway. Irish whip into the barricade. Big chop brings Spike to his knees. Throws him back in and follows. Spike rolls out, but JBL follows him and clubs him in the back. Irish whip into the steps. Throws Spike back in and rolls in himself. Eddy chants start. Spike grabs JBL's leg but gets clubbed down. Picks him up, headbutt. TORTURE RACK! Spike eventually slips out but gets shoulderblocked down. Spike using the ropes to climb up, he shoulders JBL in the gut. Again, forearm. Off the ropes, forearm knocks JBL into the corner. Mounting, up to 9 punches, but JBL grabs Spike and spinebusters him down. Quite viciously at that. Elbowdrop. Again. Irish whip to the corner. Charging clothesline. Off the ropes, clothesline ducked, Spike with the battering ram to the gut. Dudley Dog! 1, 2, awww kickout. Spike is fucked. Just punching the fallen JBL in the head now. JBL eventually gets up, however, and Spike runs off the ropes right into a spinebuster. Hook 'Em Horns. Short arm clothesline. Picks him up, ANOTHER. Ow, that one hurt. Picking the limp Spike up, powerbomb. And that's that. (07'28") VIVA LA RASA, what, that's the music of...yes, it's EDDY GUERRERO in street clothes. He charges the ring, JBL's punches have no effect, right, right, right, right knocks JBL down. Kick to the nuts, DDT. Up top, but JBL rolls out before Eddy can give him the Frog Splash. Eddy has a mic: "Hey, HEYHEYHEYHEYHEY take it easy, homes, where are you goin'? Don't you wanna hear what I have to say, esse? Okay, champ, enjoy your reign as long as you can, esse, 'cuz it's not gonna last too much longer, see let me enlighten you on something. Way before Kurt Angle became General Manager, when I won the WWE Championship, see I made sure I put a return match clause in my contract. And this clause says, esse, that Eddy Guerrero gets to choose the type of match that HE wants. So two weeks from now, RIGHT HERE ON SMACKDOWN, it's not just gonna be John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddy Guerrero for the WWE Championship, AW NO homes, it's gonna be JBL vs. Latino Heat in a STEEL CAGE MATCH! ORALE VIVA VI RASA!" JBL is angry, Eddy is pumped. And we fade to black.

Well, that wasn't good. Despite JBL's attempts to single-handedly save it. Til next week.

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