TNA Genesis - 11/13/05
by Scott Christ

Eddie Guerrero will forever be one of the best to ever put on a pair of wrestling boots. One of the absolute very best. I'll miss watching him, because he was sensational.

I decided to order this show mostly because I just plain wanted to see some wrestling.

SHARK BOY v. NIGEL MCGUINNESS

Pre-show match. Crowd chanted for Eddie as soon as they went live. Nigel looked good here, and Tenay and West put him over very well. I figure between Heartland and New Breed, these two have surely met several times. They had a really smooth match, which is more than I can usually say for anything that involves Shark Boy. They actually put Shark Boy over here, and I can't figure that one out. There is no upside to Shark Boy. I hate the character, but I can see the point to having him around I guess. He's good fun and is basically the TNA version of Funaki or Scotty 2 Hotty at this point. But having him beat someone you went to the trouble to fly in? What good does that do McGuinness? What good did it do you to bring him in to lose to Shark Boy? Beating Shark Boy wouldn't even be a big deal, but at least he'd have won. I just found the booking here confusing and silly.

SIMON DIAMOND, DAVID YOUNG & ELIX SKIPPER v. THE NATURALS & LANCE HOYT

Second pre-show match. I'm pretty sure Diamond never actually tagged in here. The angle was that Chase Stevens had some injury and he was coming back quickly. I guess it was his neck or head because the heels worked on that after a while. The Naturals/Hoyt team was comical to me because it was like generic action figure Hardy Boyz and Test. The parts with David Young were OK but the rest sucked. Stevens got pinned.

PPV opened proper with Zbyszko and security in the ring to get on Raven's nuts about either signing a release or going through hell, facing someone from his past that hates him. Raven of course wasn't going to sign any release, so instead we got this treat.

RAVEN v. PJ POLACO

Oh this was real bad. For one thing I don't particularly recall any Raven/Justin Credible feud other than maybe by association with Dreamer and the tag title in Raven's second ECW run, but maybe not even then. Having to use the name "PJ Polaco" is pretty bad. And Tenay and West sit there trying to sell the obvious hate between these two men when it looks like a couple of guys that couldn't give a shit less about what they're doing. Was the Sandman busy? At least there's actual history there and the crowd could have popped a little. Who cares about Justin Credible? I don't remember much about this other than Raven's terrible comeback offense and the fact that I was really happy when it was over. Raven won with the DDT after failing to get a submission via anklelock. Zbyszko looked on in his silly shirt and Raven made faces and drooled.

SOME HOCKEY STICK ON POLES BULLSHIT
TEAM CANADA (BOBBY ROODE, ERIC YOUNG & A1) v. 3LK (KONNAN, BG JAMES & RON KILLINGS)

Ron Killings makes me so mad when I watch him dance. I don't know why. It just really bothers me. That and every time he punches someone he has to twist thirty-six times IN MID-AIR!!!!! Ron Killings is God awful. Kip James was ref for this and the story - excruciatingly - is still that Konnan doesn't like or trust him. Eric Young is a lot of fun and Bobby Roode is OK enough, but A1 just looks totally unnatural as a wrestler and someone seriously needs to work with him on how to convey emotion or something that even resembles it. Konnan did the shoe gimmick and that was all I cared about. Wait, no, he also put his shoe on the end of a hockey stick and hit people with it. This match was the usual 3LK crap except for Konnan being awesome. They won and Konnan and Kip James touched knuckles, which caused Mike Tenay to hilariously shriek, "THEY TOUCHED KNUCKLEEEEES!!!!"

TNA HAS A MAJOR ACQUISITION

They did a Jericho-like debut for Christian, and since he seemed to go right out of his way to bury WWE, I'll transcribe for fun:

"So I can, I can guess you can imagine the question that I got asked the most this week. 'Are the rumors that we've been hearing true? Is it true that you're going to TNA? And if so, why?' Well I'll tell you this much - (Christian Cage chant) - I can tell you this much, I didn't come here to see the same guy come out and say the same damn thing week after week after week. And I didn't come here to see a grown man dressed up like a doctor pullin' things out of another man's ass. And you can be damn sure I didn't come here because I got fired. Which brings me to another rumor that I wanna address and put to bed right now, the rumor that I got lowballed in a contract offer. Well that's not true at all, actually I was offered a very hefty sum to stay exactly where I was. But the reason that I came to TNA is the same reason that each and every one of you is in this arena right now. The same reason that everybody's watchin' Genesis live on pay-per-view. And that reason is that I love WRESTLING. Now you know, I've been known to crack a joke or two, say somethin' sarcastic, pull a rib. But I don't want anybody to ever forget the fact that I am without a doubt the greatest all-around performer in this sport today. It's like this - I'm tired of egos and politics, I wanna see guys in this ring bustin' their asses! I wanna see wrestling re-invented. Like last night I turn on SpikeTV, I'm watchin Impact - little plug for ya - and it reminded me of when I broke onto the national wrestling scene eight years ago. There was two companies. One was old, stale and lacking direction. The other one I was a part of, it was young, hungry and cutting-edge. Fast forward eight years to this very moment, and there's still two companies. One is old, boring, and lacking direction. And the other one is T. N. A. And I said, 'This is somethin' that I wanna be a part of. In fact, I wanna be the biggest piece of this puzzle.' Which brings me to Jeff Jarrett. I've got two things to say to you. One, you should never wear white pants after Labor Day. And two, I've come to TNA to take the one thing that's eluded me my entire career. The one thing we both can agree on is the most important and prized possession in this sport, the NWA World Heavyweight Championship! So I want everybody right now to stand up and take notice, that Christian Cage is HERE! And Christian Cage will fulfill his destiny, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL!"

Then Scott D'Amore and Bobby Roode came out to try to talk Christian into aligning with them and Jarrett. He'll decide later.

CONTENDER'S MATCH
JEFF HARDY v. MONTY BROWN

Brown did another one of his horrible promos before this match, and then Hardy came out like he was out of his gourd, crawling all over and doing weird shit. Maybe he just thinks that's charismatic, I dunno. The match had absolutely zero direction, which makes this the third crap match in a row to start this PPV, and without the Christian segment this would seem really horrible, but since they did have a rather major happening go down, it was livable at the time. Hardy was absolutely terrible and Monty Brown just cannot carry a match. They need to put him in with someone that can actually do anything with him because Hardy did him zero favors tonight. Brown won with the pounce after Hardy missed a swanton. They need to decide rapidly whether Brown is heel or face.

ELIMINATION X
MATT BENTLEY (with Traci Brooks), SONJAY DUTT, AUSTIN ARIES & CHRIS SABIN v. SAMOA JOE, ALEX SHELLEY, RODERICK STRONG & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

Exactly what you'd expect, tons of action and a whole lot of fun. Bentley was horribly out of place, not even just by what side he was on, but the fact that he's just not as good as the rest of them. Joe was brutal in this match, in particular knocking the shit out of someone with a running Yakuza kick where he totally left his feet and just sailed into their chest foot-first. I think it was Sonjay. Aries was on, Shelley was on, Strong was on, Sabin was on, Daniels was on, Dutt was on. You can't describe this stuff. It's all spots and stuff, but that doesn't make it less fun to watch for me, because it was all executed quite well. Strong got eliminated first, then moments later Daniels rolled Dutt up. Aries went out third, followed by Shelley to make it Sabin & Bentley v. Joe & Daniels. Doesn't seem fair. Bentley went next (is the order getting predictable to you, too?) after a brutal muscle buster and rear naked choke from Joe. Joe was about to hit Sabin with the muscle buster, but Bentley grabbed his foot. Daniels got the angel's wings for the pin. Joe was pissed off about Daniels taking his pin from him, then snapped and just beat the piss out of Daniels all over the place with chairshots, a muscle buster, and then a muscle buster onto a chair. Daniels bled and got stretchered out. AJ Styles came out to sell the shame of it all. Tenay and West, as usual, went into hyperactive oversell mode, pretending the crowd found it all despicable, when in reality they just chanted JOE IS GONNA KILL YOU and FUCK HIM UP JOE and ONE MORE TIME after the muscle buster onto the chair. This put Joe way over, but it didn't get near the reaction they wanted. It's hard to dislike a guy that runs through the competition.

NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH
ABYSS (with Father Creepy Promo) v. SABU

I liked the angle where Abyss had the tacks so Sabu countered with barbed wire wrapped around his arm and Abyss freaked at the sight of this dangerous lunatic bleeding from his arm for fun. Then Father Creepy Promo made it all about Abyss' past being scarred by barbed wire and oh he's so scared of it because it brings back tortured memories. Go back to 1998, stupid. Go to bed, old maaaaaan. The match was actually pretty good and really brutal as Abyss potatoed Sabu early on right in the nose on what looked to be simple miscommunication coming off the ropes for a clothesline. Sabu bled from the nose area and later gave Abyss a receipt in the form of slamming his foot into Abyss' face on a triple jump moonsault. In response, Abyss cracked the shit out of Sabu's nose again a few minutes later. In between all of that there was plenty of fun Sabu match brawling, plus Sabu telling a camera man to get out of his fucking way. Sabu hit the tacks, and so did Abyss, but Sabu's barbed wire chair ended up costing him as he took the black hole slam onto it for the pin.

X DIVISION TITLE MATCH
PETEY WILLIAMS v. AJ STYLES (champion)

Styles did a dive early where he busted his ass on the top of the railing and flew into the crowd, then just after that Williams hit a German suplex from the apron, sending Styles back-first into the railing again. These two worked their asses off for this match and I'm pretty sure that it was technically decent, but I was bored to tears because that's just what happens to me with Petey Williams matches. What can you do? Some men Petey Williams just can't reach. So you get what we had here tonight, me nearly falling asleep. Styles hit the Styles Clash from the second rope to retain as Joe, with a towel covered in Daniels' blood, looked on.

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED & JEFF JARRETT (with Gail Kim) v. TEAM 3D & RHINO

Really, really, really, really, really fun match. It never was a proper tag match, just a brawl all over the arena, Jarrett paired with Rhino, Bubba with Storm and Harris with D-Von. Everything that someone could be hit with, they were. Rhino took a tumble from a big desk down some bleachers that looked pretty impressive. There was blood from both of AMW and nothing but a damn fight. Is it ridiculous of me to say I really do not mind Jeff Jarrett lately? And I've never liked Jarrett save for that tag run with Owen. They brought out the tables and AMW tried to go for the death sentence through it on D-Von, but that was broken up and Storm ate the 3D. The faces celebrated before Team Canada ran in to attack. Christian then came in, took off his jacket, and had the TNEh! shirt on. So he had broken the hearts of many - OR HAD HE?? No he had not, as he got D'Amore with the unprettier and chased off the rest with a chair. Show ended with both Dudleys lifting Jarrett up into a 3D through the table with Christian in the normal Bubba spot. This was my favorite match of the night.

Not a blowaway show, but I liked elimination X, the Sabu match and the main event, and all's well that ends well. I hope Christian has a great run in TNA, and I hope TNA gets more things right in the near future, because I want them to be an actual challenger to WWE. They aren't close yet, but doing things correctly can change that.

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