Road Report
IWA Mid-South
No Blood, No Guts, No Glory
07/02/05, Valparaiso, IN
by Scott Christ

This show has been over a year in the making, really. Ian Rotten's IWA team, the Fannin Family and Team NWA, five guys apiece, were to meet up in War Games to finally decide who controls IWA Mid-South. Truthfully, I was most happy that the storyline was ending. It's just been so in-and-out with so many twists and turns. Two rings were set up, which meant Valpo held only 300 people. Since it was reported on the IWA board that 200 tickets had been sold, and we were not any of them, we went really early just to make sure we'd get tickets.

We did that and hung out outside for, jeez, a couple hours, just bullshitting in the parking lot and all, when a limo arrived outside. I was talking to Larry Sternshein of Chicago Wrestling and we discussed it had to be the Fannin Family or Jimmy Jacobs, which would be awesome. It was both, so I guess that means it was doubly awesome? Anyway, they jumped Brandon Thomaselli, part of Team IWA, and left him loopy. Once we finally got in, as the show was about 40 minutes late starting, Ian said Brandon was out with a concussion, and since that happened, he would work with the broken wrist he received at the hands of Mark Wolf and Fannin's crew at the show the night before in Salem, and instead of replacing him in the match, Corporal Robinson would replace Brandon. I love Brandon and all, but Corp was definitely the better fit. If I'm looking for a dude to watch my back in a cage and fight for me, I'll take Corp over Brandon any day. No offense to Brandon.

The two-ring setup was weird at first, just hard to get used to. But the crowd was big and energetic so it was an easy show to just dive into and have fun with. The ropes were bad on one ring, then they got bad on the other. All night they kept tightening the ropes. It wasn't a big deal or anything, just a sidenote.

CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI v. TJ DALTON

Had never seen Dalton, so when he came out to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" I just made the diamond cutter sign and shit. Turns out he's perfectly competent and the match was a solid opener and allowed me some quality Claudio time. Claudio has become one of my favorite wrestlers, just with the way he really takes his shit seriously while at the same time not being afraid to loosen up and do some comedy because, well, he's a Swede in a goofy suit. I remember very little about the match as it's 5:30am while I'm writing this and this match took place about 8:20pm, but Claudio won as expected, and the finish was on that armbar in the air thing. Fuck man I don't know move names anymore. Too old for that shit. Used to have a spreadsheet.

IWA MS WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH
RAIN v. DAIZEE HAZE v. MICKIE KNUCKLES (champion)

I kind of hoped to get Rain/Mickie IV or whatever it would be because it's my feud of the year thus far, but I haven't seen Daizee in months and it was cool to have her back. I've gotten to the point where I legitimately really enjoy the women's division in IWA Mid-South, which makes it sound like I'm really sexist or something, but I'm not, it's just that most women's wrestling I'd ever seen was, well, shitty. But all these girls work their asses off and I've become a fan of just about all of them. It's hard for me to boo Rain because I really like her. Whenever Mickie's music goes long enough to ask the redneck girls to give a big hell yeah, I like to be the only person going HELL YEAH, and this time it did, so I was thrilled with that. Match was kind of a standard three-way affair, two fighting and one not, with some pretty good action. Again I remember little of the match itself. I know Rain didn't want in at first but of course came in at an opportune time. Daizee nailed Mickie by accident a couple times, but Mickie eventually pinned Rain with the shining kick to the face. Mickie has also become one of my favorite wrestlers. However, I want to point out that Rain's arm was well under the rope during the pin. Hell, her hand wasn't even technically in the ring anymore. It was pointed out to Bryce, and like a goddamn champion and the best referee in America (which he is, easily), Bryce actually sold the complaints and made like he wasn't sure if he'd made the right call, but it was final. A fun match, as is becoming the norm for all the women's matches.

CONRAD KENNEDY III (w/Jim Fannin, Jr.) v. DANNY DANIELS

CK3's manager was Alexander Caine or whatever. Dressed like Fannin, had hair like Fannin, had a little goatee like Fannin. Not near as good of a manager, and Fannin ain't Bobby Heenan or nothin'. The dude was just sort of distracting. Also CK3's "bunch of nicknames" gimmick sucks - there's already Eric Priest doing the same schtick here. And the lame thing is, the guy can fucking work, so why he needs all that is beyond me. This was a decent match and I was wholly entertained by it, but it did run right into the territory of Daniels matches where people are kicking out of a bunch of big moves, which is the one thing I don't like about Danny's matches sometimes. But whatever, it wasn't like I turned my back on it to give it the business or anything, they threw some good chops and hit some big moves and Danny finished him off with a piledriver and that was that. I actually hope CK3 becomes an IWA regular, just without that manager and the bunch of nicknames.

WINNER'S TEAM GETS WAR GAMES ADVANTAGE
TANK (w/Ed Chuman) v. EDDIE KINGSTON (w/Jim Fannin) v. CHRIS HERO (w/nobody)

Any time I can get two Hero matches on the same card, I'm happy. For that matter any time I can get two Eddie Kingston matches I'm happy. Shit, for that matter, I really like Tank, so bring on two Tank matches too. Pretty good three-way, nothing particularly great, but interesting since it played into the main event for the night. Kingston convinced Hero to help him team up with Tank and incapacitate him, which frankly seemed a wise idea, Tank's a big man. Hero went with it, but then went after Kingston, or Kingston went after him, or whatever. Tank's body weight shifted the ring poles on a Nebraskan tumbleweed, which was pretty amazing. Tank can move and work and sell and all kinds of things dudes like him can't do a lot of the time. Actually Tank is a lot like Bam Bam Bigelow, and I like Bigelow so that works for me. He looks like a big mean fucker that would beat your ass, but he can actually work a match to boot. It's not all sitting on your head and doing splashes and shit, he does do things. Hero hit the Hero's Welcome on Kingston, then chased Fannin around because let's face it, Chris Hero is easily distracted. This allowed Tank to hit a senton on Kingston for the pin, giving Team NWA the War Games advantage.

Intermission came and went.

IWA MS LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
MAREK BRAVE v. TYLER BLACK v. JOSH ABERCROMBIE (champion)

Josh has gotten really fun really fast. It started with the series of matches he had with Ian in Muscatine and the one at the Valpo show in the Indiana State title tournament, and since then he's just been a lot more crisp, way smoother, and seemed way, way more confident than he did before. I don't know if that's a coincidence or something those matches really helped him with, but either way, I've become a Josh Abercrombie fan after being initially lukewarm to him. Brave and Black both impressed in this one, and are quickly making names for themselves. Danny Daniels did a hell of a job training them - I mean, not that I know fuck all about it really, but I do know that it probably says something about his ability to train people that they're both totally different workers than him and a lot better than tons of guys who have been wrestling for years that you see on shitty indy shows and they hardly even belong in a ring. Marek Brave in particular is downright spectacular at times. Obviously neither of them are perfect or close to it, but there's guys you can immediately see the potential in, and these two both have it as far as I can tell. A really fun match in a gasping at some of the crazy shit they're doing sort of way, and the finish came with Josh phoenix splashing both of them, kneeing Brave right in the mouth. What can you do, shit happens.

60-MINUTE TIME LIMIT
DELIRIOUS v. CM PUNK

I have no idea how to explain this match in anything resembling a coherent paragraph. Of course it went the full 60. This was Punk's final IWA match, advertised and delivered. In a wonderful twist, he didn't go out with a 60-minute mat classic, he went out with a 60-minute tribute to Chris Candido and any other funny motherfucker that's ever stepped foot in a ring. It was awe-inspiring ridiculousness. I'm going to do this in bullet points.

• Match starts, Punk tells Delirious that IWA is his house, and he helped build it. Delirious, in his gibberish language, talks shit at him for at least four minutes running, non-stop, then ends it with a big flex. Delirious flexes several more times. Punk eventually kicks him in the gut.
• Punk goes on offense, but all Delirious is doing is sticking his fingers in his own mouth so he can wipe it all over Punk's face. Punk notices, and keeps preventing it from happening.
• They argue about hair pulling, Delirious accusing Punk, then recruiting a small child as a witness. Punk threatens Delirious and the child with fisticuffs. Punk accuses Delirious a few moments later, who does not deny it.
• They then wrestled a bit.
• Delirious got an armbar locked on, which went from Ring #1 to Ring #2, then out to the floor and around the entire building until Punk got to the ring bell and rang it, which scared Delirious enough that he let go.
• I think they wrestled some more and did some more light comedy. Punk did end up with his pants down at one point, and Delirious hid under the ring for a while.
• Punk went under the ring and found a Delirious mask. This freaked Delirious out, so he went back under the ring.
• Someone emerged from under the ring, but it wasn't Delirious. It was Shelirious - a female Delirious. This was pretty much the point when I fully understood that nothing about this was going to make the slightest bit of sense. It was obvious who Shelirious was, but who cares? That's at least a quarter of the point. Delirious and Shelirious teamed up on Punk, who went back under the ring.
• A Golden Vampire emerged from under the ring with Punk. It was also obvious who this was, but who cares?
• It turned into a tag match - Punk & Golden Vampire v. Delirious & Shelirious.
• Golden Vampire accidentally did a bunch of armbreakers over the ropes to Punk, who then went back under the ring because he was upset about this.
• Punk re-emerged with the Delirious mask, and all three Delirious-masked combatants attacked the Golden Vampire. He was then pinned and eliminated.
• Shelirious was eliminated next.
• Punk took the mask off and the match returned to something vaguely resembling a state of normalcy.
• The time limit eventually ran out.

Ridiculous. Punk got a big sendoff, including Chris Hero coming out to wish him well, and left to the old OLE! OLE OLE OLE! music. It was heartfelt and moving and touching and all that. Best of luck to Punk, I hope he makes millions of dollars. This was as good a sendoff as I could've hoped for.

POMP & CIRCUMSTANCE v. BRAD BRADLEY & TRIK DAVIS

I like Trik and Brad, but I was still coming down from the last match, which I suppose was indeed the purpose here. I watched from outside behind the big half-open garage door of the armory. What I saw was totally fine, there was a cool spot where Bradley pressed the smaller guy, got chopped by the bigger one, no-sold them all, and just threw the dude onto his partner. The finish was Brad and Trik changing spots and Brad flying, which was cool. I have nothing against this match.

IWA MS WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
MATT SYDAL v. JIMMY JACOBS (champion)

This is a match I've wanted to see for a while so I was really happy it was on this card. Jacobs rode by night and came by morning (in his brown suit), with gold and silver in his hands. He offered Sydal $101 to take the night off and go get boozed up with some girls in bikinis in his limo, hit the town and all, but Sydal turned it down. These two didn't go all-out or anything, and that was cool because I hope it means they're going to do a feud and a bunch more matches. Jacobs ended up getting his suit torn off and he wrestled in his underpants and a pair of dress shoes, which was pretty awesome. Sydal did the AJ Styles moonsault-into-reverse DDT from one ring to the other, then Jacobs came back with a flying rana from one ring to the other. Eventually, Sydal took the upper-hand but Jimmy hit him with his shoe and got the contra code for the pin. Made me want to see them wrestle again. 10 more times.

WAR GAMES
TEAM NWA (Tank, Eric Priest, Vito Thomaselli, Sal Thomaselli & Chandler McClure) v. THE FANNIN FAMILY (BJ Whitmer, Eddie Kingston, Steve Stone, JC Bailey & Mark Wolf) v. TEAM IWA MID-SOUTH (Ian Rotten, Chris Hero, Axl Rotten, Bull Pain & Corporal Robinson)

Just a big fucking bloody free-for-all. Quite a spectacle, really. Fifteen guys fighting and laying into each other. Corp in particular was excellent in the match. Tank bled first, I remember that, but Whitmer topped him shortly after. Whitmer is a great bleeder, in fact. Ian, Corp, Axl all ended up bleeding. Chandler McClure was great on the outside as the last guy in for his team, looking suitably nervous and pumped, like he was terrified of the match but ready to go at the same time. Hero is so underrated as an emotions guy, he always conveys his feelings in his face really well if you're at the show and pay attention to him after he loses or gets beaten down or is hyped up for his match. The IWA team all looked ready to fight, Fannin's team looked ready to fight, and Team NWA...looked like a bunch of guys that didn't give a shit because they had no chance. Well not Tank, I guess. Anyway, there's no way to put this match into words, but Tank tapped to Ian and so Team NWA was gone, which was fitting because it was never really about them at all as far as anyone cared. The turning point came when Bailey, instead of smashing Ian's wrist with a chair, laid Eddie Kingston out and betrayed Fannin. The idea behind bringing him in was that while Fannin hated Bailey, he knew he'd never quit. So Bailey doesn't quit, but proves he hates Fannin too. It made every bit of sense. The IWA team tapped the Fannin Family in unison more or less, with Kingston eating the actual fall to Hero's Hangman's Clutch. He never broke the Highland Curse, but at least he won a fucking match I've been to. And it was awesome to see the babyfaces stand tall at the end. A perfect blowoff.

There was lots of love talkin' after the match, and Ian thanked everyone, including Fannin, to whom he offered the job of running the business end of IWA MS because he knows Fannin loves the company as much as he does. Jim accepted, and he's done managing and all that.

This was a great show. I really have no idea how it'll come off on tape, but it was a big show atmosphere and it ended like it all meant something to everyone, which was a hugely refreshing feeling. This was probably the best time at an IWA show I've had since last year's TPI. And seriously, Punk/Delirious was ridiculous.

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