IWA-MS - 6/19/04 - Highland, IN
by Scott Christ
Not a show I was supremely looking forward to but hey, why not, Highland isn't too far away and I wasn't going to do anything better.
The ride in was smooth and we were ahead of schedule and there at a good time, so of course the show starts late and people are even let into the building late, assumedly because the ring hadn't been set up. What can you do?
THE WILDCARDS v. THE ALL-STARS
I didn't catch the individual names of the All-Stars (well, I did but don't remember them) but in the fine tradition of the Dudley Boyz, APA, Rodney Mack & Christopher Nowinski, Booker T & Rob Van Dam and New Jack & John Kronus, they are one white guy and one black guy. Also, they wear very small underwear and have lean, chiseled physiques. And black guy is "The Male Cheerleader" and white guy is "The Human Rulebook" or some nonsense. Anyway, they were trying to play face and it wasn't working out so well for them even with the Wildcards heeling it up, because it's hard to come in and play face against known names, especially with what can be a real tough crowd to impress. Half of these jokers don't even like Chris Hero. Eddie Kingston got on the stick and talked some jive about how they're hot in Milwaukee but can't win in Highland because everyone cheats them. The All-Stars were a little sloppy on offense and no matter how much they tried, just could not get the crowd behind them, even though nobody cheers the Wildcards either, so this match was just sort of an opener by the books. Wildcards finally won in Highland on a combination Kingston dominator and Jack Marciano flying knee across the chest.
Arik Cannon hit the ring to stupidly say that he knows the fans in Highland love Chris Hero. This, naturally, got booed, as half of them quite vocally hate Chris Hero. This threw him off a little. Anyway, he rambled on and on about how he can beat Chris Hero, and Chris Hero sucks and always loses, and Chris Hero whines a lot. Hero snuck up from behind with a back suplex, and then Cannon and Hero agreed to wrestle - TONIGHT! I'll take it.
CASH FLO (w/Jim Fannin) v. TRIK DAVIS
Cash has put on a lot of weight since the last time I saw him, but that was a while ago. These two had a pretty brutal match on January 17 where Cash Flo just chopped the piss out of Davis. Cash said he'd give Davis the beating of his life in this match, and so he did. Chops! Chops! Chops! Chops! Some more chops! This is chop-chop-chop-chop-chop with Trik never even really getting so much as a flurry of offense in. There was a creative nut-posting on the floor out of an electric chair by Cash Flo, and then he chopped him some more. Davis' chest was purple and blue and red and fuschia and all kinds of shit. He took a hellacious beating here. Cash would get him down for the pin, with Davis clearly being done, and then pull him up at two. He must've done that two or three times before the referee stopped the match ... and awarded it to Davis via DQ? How is that a DQ? Does that make any sense to anyone? Not for nothin' but Cash Flo's future is a little, well, non-existant, and Trik Davis could have used a flukey sort of win here, but instead they beat the tar out of him and give him a DQ win which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, so I don't see how this helps anyone. Furthermore, it means they'll have to wrestle again, and while this told a good story, it was nothing as an actual match and the finish sucked really bad. I don't really want to see these guys wrestle again. But oh well.
It was at some point in this match that this obnoxious group of middle-age upper-class fogies, one in a totally bitchin' CORVETTE t-shirt, started getting terribly annoying. Why go to a wrestling show and point out to everyone that, since you've lived on this earth a good long while, and you've seen it all, holy fucking shit, wrestling is NOT REAL? Thanks for the info, grandpa. The thing about doing this, in any way whatsoever, is it doesn't make you look cool or smart, it just makes you seem like an idiot for paying however much money you paid to go sit at this show for five hours if you aren't even going to try and enjoy yourself further than attempting to make everyone think you're funny. Actually, this crowd really sucked tonight. We sat behind Homemade T-shirt Kid and his pops and the dude that sits with them, and I like those guys, I'd probably rather sit by them than just about anyone. They enjoy themselves and treat it like it's real. I know at least two of them are fully aware it's not, but they don't go on a rampage ruining it for other people. Anyway, what I'm saying is, shut up.
ACE STEEL v. JIMMY JACOBS
Jacobs was supposed to be wrestling Matt Sydal for the light heavyweight title, but he is being "barred from competing" by "NWA officials" until "he gets a doctor's clearance," so instead it was going to be Jacobs v. Sabin v. Delirious in a three-way, but instead we got this. I'll take it. Ace Steel is one of my absolute favorite wrestlers, he's A-Train-esque in his ability to scream and grunt and yell during just about everything he does, and he's also just a really good wrestler. The huss gimmick appears to finally be losing its legs a little bit. I think if it came right down to it, Jacobs would have no problem not doing it anymore. He seems sick of it. This was a solid if unspectacular match. And by unspectacular, I mean not that great. I dunno, it was alright? I'm trying to find good things to say, I like these guys. Ace's matwork was strong as usual, and he pretty much dominated Jacobs in this match. Lots of good nearfalls toward the end of the match, and Steel won on something I don't remember at all by pinfall. A bit of a weird mix here, as Steel is a straightforward wrestler and Jacobs, while not bad at being a regular ass wrestler, is more suited to a more comedy-friendly style than Ace allows for. That's not a knock, but the dude is 5'6" or whatever and tries to step over the top rope before every match and has furry boots. You figure it out.
NWA MIDWEST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP
MSCHIF v. LACEY (c)
I guess they're just going with NWA Midwest instead of NWA Midwest/IWA Mid-South. Whatever, dude, it's really all the same. I didn't much care for their match at the women's tournament, but this was better than that one and pretty decent. Like I said in the tape review for that show, these matches are great additions to a card, but having that many in one night got hard to deal with. MsChif doesn't have a ton going for her besides good natural ability and great charisma, which is a hell of a lot more than most women have when they get into wrestling. Most of them just have tits. Let's be honest about it. Lacey looked strong again in this match, clearly carrying and breaking out some nice stuff. I don't remember a ton about the match, but I thought it was alright. Lacey retained with the implant DDT.
Here come the tarps! Here come the deathmatch marks!
NON-SANCTIONED MATCH
MAD MAN PONDO v. ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER
Here is the summary of this match: Pondon hits Butcher with a stop sign and uses some scissors on Abby's head, Abby bleeds, Abby comes back with a piece of broken glass, Pondo bleeds, they wander around, they bleed, they wander, they bleed, they wander, they bleed. Then it ends on a no-contest as Butcher lays out three referees, satisfying no one. Now what I'd rather talk about, and I mean no disrespect to Butcher or Pondo or any of the deathmatch guys, because some people weren't born with great athletic prowess, but they were born with an obscene tolerance for pain and have a desire to entertain in a wrestling ring, and this is what God made them for. So that's cool, and I appreciate what they do on some level. That said, I'm not a fan of these matches, because they're embarrassing to watch as a wrestling fan. Not on some high moral ground garbage, but because these matches always look like shit. For all the lame juggalo deathmatch marks that think this stuff is the real shit and guys like Chris Hero are fake pussies, it has to be pointed out how much more undeniably fake the average deathmatch looks in comparison to a good wrestling match. There is not a more obviously cooperative style of wrestling than the deathmatch, as both guys have to take the utmost care of each other to make sure neither of them gets seriously injured. I would rather show a wrestling detractor something like Hero/Punk than this piece of shit match any day. Again, this is not to be disrespectful to these guys, just the lame fans that come out to see nothing but the blood and sit there trying to be hardasses in their fucking Carnival of Carnage hoodies and their retarded beanies. Fuck you guys, go rent some movies. Seriously, there are better places to see blood than a wrestling show.
Intermission was here and I said hi to Soup Ladle outside. Soup Ladle was a little bit hammered but a really nice guy. I met two other people but I don't remember their names, as I'm really bad with names. The other guy said he liked my write-ups, which I appreciate. Thanks, dude. We talked about the attendance (it seemed low), the shitty crowd (it was shitty) and MsChif having four moves (she has about four moves).
BIG JAPAN DEATH MATCH CHAMPIONSHIP
NATE WEBB v. RYUJI ITO (c)
I have no real clue about Ito. Webb called out CW.com's Todd Gerth before the match for not liking him, saying that's fine, a lot of other people do, and they hugged. Nate then hugged many other people. Webb's entrance was particularly good tonight as he seemed to be in a really good mood, plus it didn't hurt that Mad Man Pondo was standing on the merch table with his head bandaged, dancing and singing along. It's a weird sight to see that crazy fucker dancing to Wheatus. The referee was a Japanese lady that assumedly came over with Ito because I don't think he knows very much english. She reffed earlier in the night and was also one of the referees that Abdullah the Butcher put down. This match surprised me as I'd heard nothing very good about Ito and Nate has seemed off of late. Pretty good matwork to start and it reminds me that Nate can go a little with the technical skillery if given half a chance. Ito didn't look bad at all, and they kept their outrageous brawling to a minimum. Nate's chairsault was met with knees, which looked pretty nasty. Ito brought out a table and set Nate up on it, then put the chair on top of him. Webb flipped the chair over. Then flipped it over again. All the while trying to look dead and beaten. Ito came off the top with a frog splash for the win. The chair-flipping just looked silly, particularly because it was clear Ito had put it on him properly from the moment he put it there. That's too bad, but as I said, the match surprised me a little bit. Ito used what little english he knows to praise IWA Mid-South and his home promotion, Big Japan, and then said some stuff in Japanese. I don't know any Japanese except what I've learned from songs. Which reminds me that I was watching Cartoon Network the other day and it was a very American cartoon and then there was an action sequence set to Japanese ska that FREAKED ME OUT. Anyway, Nate said he hopes Ito comes back real soon, and they hugged and such.
ARIK CANNON v. CHRIS HERO
The crowd was just brutally awful during this. Hero/Joe with the dueling chants and frenzied intensity was a moment that should be frozen in time and never attempted to be replicated, except for maybe their 1-on-1 rematch down the line. But here, dudes chanting let's go Hero and let's go Cannon should just be ashamed of themselves. These Hero haters would chant for Chyna if she came in to wrestle Hero. Standard-ish Hero match, lots of methodical weardown holds, and Hero picked out the arm to work on here. Cannon broke out a ton of great offense and looked great again tonight, and I think he's flying under the radar as far as breakout star potential goes. I'm not saying a lot of people don't really like Arik Cannon. Hell, I like Arik Cannon. But no crowd likes Arik Cannon this much. The Hero hate is befuddling. Some people have never liked him, and I'm cool with that, but a lot of these guys are total internet smart marks that know the scoop and have to realize how good he is, or at least respect the fact that he IS GOOD, even if they think he's overrated, so it just comes off as them jacking off over themselves. Great spot toward the end where Hero fights off enzuigiris with fighting spirt, bitch! and starts rattling Cannon with big forearm shots. Really good finishing sequence with Hero trying for the Hangman's Clutch, but Cannon reversing into a roll-up for the pin. I was really disappointed in the finish, but I understand what they're doing. Eventually, Hero has to snap and destroy someone for this to work. If they're flat-out trying to turn him heel, it's probably going to work, because even big Hero fans can't cheer forever if he just keeps losing. I mean, really, who wants to cheer a loser? Hero said nothing after the match, and at least he didn't need to be revived with spring water. This seemed like it was roughly 30 minutes. Very good, a comp-worthy match but not worth going out of your way to see this show for.
Ring announcer tells me to check out Total Nonstop Action on PPV. This is unanimously booed.
NWA INDIANA CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT
FIRST ROUND
CHRIS SABIN v. DELIRIOUS
We saw Sabin when we came in and went to the bathroom. There he was, with dry, fluffy hair, looking like something out of a sunburned dream. Sabin came out waving the big NWA flag and I booed this because I don't need that. Sabin had a lot of big offense here and kept the highspots to a minimum, which is when he's his best. He's a great flyer, but there's so much more he can do pretty well. Just not so much brawling type stuff. Delirious took a ton of punishment and kept on going. I wasn't that into this match because it was just Sabin dominating before what was going to eventually be Delirious' big move for the win, and Delirious isn't built for long wrestling matches, much like Jimmy Jacobs just kind of isn't. It's not that they can't go, but the gimmicks limit them some. They took a nasty spill on the floor on a Delirious dive that knocked Sabin head-first into some chairs. The finish was some goofy piledriver variation by Delirious for the win, and this seemed about 20 minutes or so. For whatever it's worth, Sabin does not come off as a "big star" in person. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, either.
Intermission #2 and I talked some more with Soup Ladle and the ring announcer and Todd Gerth, though Todd and I did not properly exchange hellos. Who needs that, anyway.
IWA MID-SOUTH TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
DANNY DANIELS & BJ WHITMER (w/Jim Fannin) v. BRAD BRADLEY & RYAN BOZ (c)
For some reason I was greatly looking forward to this match, maybe because I like Danny Daniels more every time I see him. He's just such a total douchebag little shit, and so very good at it, plus I think he's a very underrated wrestler, and was the best worker in this match by a fair amount. Daniels talked shit on Fannin pre-match, saying he wanted to be in the tag tournament, and instead he opened that show with Eddie Edwards. He doesn't WANT to wrestle Boz and Bradley, Fannin! Fannin, you are fucking useless. Kind of a disjointed match but not bad. Whitmer again comes off as vanilla as it gets. He has pretty much all the tools physically, his moves look great, his strikes aren't QUITE as bad as a lot of people say, but there's nothing to BJ Whitmer. There doesn't seem to be a sense of passion or anger, he's just always wandering around waiting to suplex or kick something. This kind of makes him and Daniels a natural team as Daniels more than carries the load personality-wise for the two of them, and both can go in the ring. Bradley threw some nasty kicks in this match that are pretty scary when the mother fucker is that mother fucking big and not wearing any mother fucking kickpads. Both Boz and Bradley looked reckless on offense in this match, which is not to say they ARE reckless, but just that they always seem to be. Maybe that's part of their appeal to me, anyway. Daniels and Whitmer had a couple of close near-falls and seemed to be in control when that fucking useless Jim Fannin threw a chain into the ring, "trying" to toss it to Daniels and instead getting it to Boz, who clocked Danny for the pin to retain. Decent, not as good as I'd hoped. Daniels shit on Fannin some more because Jim Fannin is fucking useless. He said he wanted a rematch with no managers. Bradley said they already beat them and didn't need to prove it again. Amen, brother. Just because their manager sucks, you don't owe them shit. Boz got pissed off at that fucking annoying kid again and threw a chair at him. Goddamn I love Ryan Boz's uncontrollable post-match temper.
IWA MID-SOUTH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
ALEX SHELLEY (w/Zach Motherfucking Gowen) v. PETEY WILLIAMS (c)
Gowen was a surprise, coming out smoking a cigarette (kinda queerly if you wanna know the truth), walking with his pimp cane in his pimp coat. I totally dig heel Zach Gowen because it's so totally the opposite of the sappy babyface story he ran with in WWE, when I hated him. The thing about Gowen is that somehow, to a bunch of backwoods hicks and disgruntled lower-middle-class folk like myself, he is really easy to hate because he's accomplished a ton and he has one fucking leg. I don't agree with the harassing of him for having one leg because, I dunno, if Heenan came in and played heel on a show, I wouldn't talk shit about his throat cancer, you know? Gowen got the stick before the match and proclaimed himself once again to be Zach Motherfucking Gowen. He's good at his schtick. He got a little too good at it during the match, hurting the flow of it by interfering so much and constantly making a spectacle of himself at ringside, becoming overbearing and detracting from the match. The match itself is not on the level you'd expect from these two, and I thought it was very disappointing. Shelley may have just been trying to heel it up by constantly bailing from the ring, and I've got no problem with that, but by the first "BORING" chant, I'd get the impression that it's not working like I'd hoped. Or maybe he just wasn't feeling it tonight. Anyway, there's no reason to stall to get heel heat against Petey Williams in Highland, he is way over. This match never quite got a flow, and turned into a real WWE-ish type match toward the end with the false finishes. That's fine if you've had a hard-fought match where both men are selling being beaten to shit for 20 minutes or whatever, but they just didn't do much and had nothing to really sell. Shelley got the Border City Stretch (crippler crossface with the opponent's arm over your head instead of between your legs - ooh), but Petey got the ropes. They got cute with Williams going for the Canadian Destroyer a bunch, only to have Shelley bail and him and Gowen would demand that there be no piledrivers. The finish came after failed in-ring Gowen interference led to a sharpshooter from Petey for the tapout victory. Nothing special, and maybe it just wasn't their night or whatever, but neither of them seemed ready for main events on a show of this level.
All in all, not the best effort, but it was a good time and worth the $15. Not really worth buying on tape.