WWE RAW - 06/14/04
by Scott Christ
You're late! I'm late.
I got about halfway done with this this morning (Wednesday) and then I watched Newlyweds for, like, three hours. I think as unfortunate as it is, this is one of my favorite shows. At least I'm man enough to admit it, out in public and all.
CC - TV-14-DLV - SmackDown!/WWE Experience/Bottom Line/Velocity/Heat/Afterburn/Tough Enough - RAW - Attitude - Entertainment - Bischoff
Backstage, ERIC BISCHOFF hears a knock at his door - it's KANE. "You wanted to see me?" "Look, Kane, it's about last night. (huh?) You had a tremendous match with Chris Benoit, one that you can be proud of for the rest of your career, it was fantastic! But - but we've had to name a new number one contender, and I just want you -" "YOU WHAT? YOU WHAT?" "Kane, listen, I, you're gonna get another opportunity, I'm absolutely sure of it, there's no doubt in my mind, Kane! But I, I, I hope, I hope you understand - I'm sure you understand the situation that I'm in. B-because Kane, above all else, you're a professional." "A professional." "A professional, Kane. I know you understand. I'm sure you can accept it." "Yeah. I'm a professional." And Kane destroys Bischoff's office.
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! It's the Union Underground and they say, "Hi!" The fireworks are aplenty and we are LIVE on Flag Day, June 14, 2004 from the Ervin J. Nutter Center in Dayton, OH! TONIGHT - Benoit & Edge & Jericho v. Flair & Orton & Batista in a six-man elimination match.
JIM ROSS is in the ring, looking sharp. "It is an honor, ladies and gentlemen, to stand before you here tonight, in Dayton, Ohio (pause) - and address, and address the Hell in a Cell classic at Bad Blood last night, between Shawn Michaels and Triple H. Now, later tonight, we will have exclusive footage from the Hell in a Cell that words cannot adequately describe. Even though that Shawn Michaels and Triple H are physically unable to compete here tonight, they both are here. And I would like to ask for both Shawn Michaels and The Game to come to this ring, so that we may show our appreciation for what they went through last night in the Hell in the Cell, and HOPEFULLY, HOPEFULLY, bring closure to this storied rivalry." Oh my God, why don't you actually just fellate these guys for serious, right there in that very ring?
SHAWN MICHAELS is out first and Lawler is amazed. Michaels is bandaged on his forehead, walking a little gingerly, and his right hand has a soft cast on it. We wait a moment, but TRIPLE H will indeed join the fun, if you can call it that. HHH is bandaged on his forehead, too, and is wearing sunglasses to cover up his fake black eye. You know, there are 200,000+ people that ordered that show and then watched Raw, and they know HHH did not receive a black eye. Why bother? HHH limps and has his tough guy serious look. They stare at each other, and Ross breaks the ice. "Gentlemen, I, as well as all these fans here, totally understand the physical condition you are in - I hope that you will conduct yourselves in the spirit in which you were asked to be here. I must say, that in 30 years of broadcasting this great game, that your match last night at the Hell in a Cell, will live for generations to come. But, Shawn, Triple H, it's time for this to end. I am respectfully, respectfully, asking you two men to shake hands, to officially signify the end of the most storied rivalry in the WWE, so that you can both get on with your lives." The crowd boos. Will they do it? Shawn extends the hand. Triple H is thinking about it...
And now Bischoff is out. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I hate to break up - I hate to break up this feel-good moment, but I've got important announcement regarding the new number-one contender. (asshole!) Just hold on a second." KABLAMMO - it's Kane! Bischoff gets the hell out of there, JR follows suit. Michaels and HHH just stand there waiting for him, for whatever reason. Big boot to Michaels! Michaels rolls out and HHH seems concerned - until Kane turns his attention to him, and HHH just backs away and leaves Kane to do what he will. And what Kane does is bring a chair out, clamp it around Michaels' throat, and stomp, making Michaels spit up blood. That's a nice visual. What a unique write-out. See you later, dude. Michaels is put in a neck brace, and we'll go to break.
Commercials: Joe Schmo 2, Remington Titanium, Tupac Resurrection, MVP Baseball 2004 on Gamecube, Burger King for White People, Gatorade, U.S. Cellular, CMT Most Wanted Tour, Joe Schmo 2 (2)
We're back and Michaels is being put on a backboard, then a stretcher, and he'll be carted out. Let's look at what happened Moments Ago. Let's watch Shawn's entire trip to the ambulance. Let's see Rosey's pants. Let's see MAVEN open the door. Let's take another break!
Commercials: White Chicks, Castrol GTX High Mileage, Full Spectrum Warrior, Clearasil Ultra, Twix, YJ Stinger Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling
Maxim Hair Color for Men presents Trish winning the women's title last night for a fifth time
MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH - TYSON TOMKO & TRISH STRATUS (Women's Champion, with During Break, encased with Mattitude) v. LITA & MATT HARDY: Matt & Lita are not morning people. They should get t-shirts that say so. Matt & Lita enjoy margaritas. Your referee is Chad Patton. Trish and Lita start, and Trish takes Lita over with a headlock. Lita with a headscissors and we have a stand-off, these two are evenly matched. Trish with a kick, forearm, forearm, Lita fires back with rights. Off the ropes, reversed by Trish, backdrop is telegraphed and she's kicked. Matrix duck on the clothesline attempt, and Trish thinks she's smart, but in all fairness Trish must be really stupid, because what was she expecting, that Lita's momentum carried her all the way out of the ring? Anyway, she turns around into another shot, then is victim of Lita's spinning headscissors. Tag to Tomko and Hardy comes in as well. Tomko with a right in the corner, another right, conrer whip. Hardy with a boot up on the charge, up top, off, Tomko tries to catch him and fails miserably. He keeps his composure and hits the snake-eyes - 1, 2, kickout. Tomko with a chinlock. Hardy elbows his way out, Tomko misses a charge into the corner, and Hardy hits a lariat. Side effect isn't happening, but this DDT is. Trish tags in, so Lita's in. Clotheslines from Lita, kick, vertical suplex, kip-up!!!!! Russian legsweep, cover, 2. Lita's kick is caught, enzuigiri connects, Tomko comes in and Hardy meets him. Tomko to the floor, he's Vee One, slingshot plancha! Trish with some forearms and a chop, another chop, off the ropes, reversed, Stratusfaction? Blocked - DDT! 1, 2, 3. (04'27") And let's go ahead and repeat the new champion losing in non-title situations to make for challengers.
Lawler has received word that Kane has left the building, but tonight on the Highlight Reel - Eugene!
Commercials: Gatorade (2), N-Gage QD, Subway, Anchorman, The Simple Life 2, Taco Bell, Stridex Clear Cycle
Backstage, Bischoff stands in the rubble, and HHH enters. "Holy crap - what happened in here?" "Three guesses - Kane. And by the way, I had no idea he was going to come out there." "Oh, I know, I know, I know. God, that was terrible. I hope Shawn's gonna be okay. He did a hell of a number on him. I'm genuinely concerned for Shawn's safety. Anyway, hey, what about my number one contender's spot? After I beat Shawn Michaels last night, I figure, basically, you're lookin' at the number one contender, right?" "Mmmm - yes and no." "What do you mean yes and no? See, it's a simple question, Eric - I beat Shawn Michaels last night, Shawn Michaels and I were up to be number one contender, that makes me number one contender, RIGHT?" "Not quite as simple as that, Triple H. See, there is someone else around here whom you haven't beat. In fact, someone else around here who's undefeated." "Who?!" "My nephew, Eugene." "That's a good one, you're kidding, right?" "No. I'm not kidding. So here's the deal - that number one contender's spot? It's yours. Under one condition - next week, it's Triple H, versus my nephew, Eugene. And you - beat - the holy hell - out of my nephew." "No problem." So what they're telling me is that a win over Rob Conway, a tag win over Coach and Garrison Cade, a DQ win over Kane and a win over Coach puts one in line for a title shot.
In the crowd, MATT from the first Joe Schmo is joined by TODD GRISHAM. "That's right, guys, this is the cast of Joe Schmo 2, and this time around, the stakes have been raised. You see, there's not just one schmo in the house, there's two schmoes in the house. Now this is a faux-reality series, meaning that everyone on the show's an actor, with the exception, of course, of the schmoes. And speaking of schmoes, the biggest one of all, the original Joe Schmo, this is Matt. And Matt, by the way, uh, can you tell us what the advantages of having two schmoes instead of one?" Let's observe him acting like he believes wrestling fans act. "Just let me say I'm excited to be here in DAYTON, OHIOOOOOOOOO! We are so excited about Joe Schmo 2, premiering tomorrow night at 10pm, you gotta take a look to my left here. We got Cami, Piper the bachelorette, we got Natasha, she plays Rita the drunk girl, we got - THE BIIIIIITCH!" Wooooo! Woooooo!
Here is a sneak peak at Joe Schmo 2. (04'35")
Later tonight, a look at Hell in a Cell.
Commercials: Joe Schmo 2 (3), Castrol GTX High Mileage (2), Burger King for Black People, Clearasil Ultra (2), Custom Robo, 50 First Dates on DVD, Louie Dominion's Deals on Wheels (local), Conybeare Law Office (local)
NON-TITLE "FLAG MATCH" - LA RESISTANCE (World Tag Team Champions, combined 477, with Vengeance on Sunday, July 11) v. THE HURRICANE & ROSEY (combined 590): This works like so: the flags of the United States and the province of Quebec are above the ring, and the winning team gets their flag raised, and their national anthem will play. How many times can these teams wrestle each other? Your referee is Jack Doan, and Rosey starts with Grenier. Rosey makes a comment about Rosey maybe gaining weight, which he might stop if he had a reason to. I'd be depressed and eat a lot if I were wearing those clothes all the time too. Hurricane gets the quick tag and immediately becomes the foil. Tag to Row-BEAR, and he goes to the chinlock quickly. I like these really short matches with the New WWE Style, because it means everyone just adjusts for the time they're given, and Hurricane sells at two minutes like he's taken a 15-minute beating. Hot tag to Rosey after a Hurricane blockbuster. Scoop aaand a slam on Grenier, twisting legdrop - 1, 2, Row-BEAR breaks. Hurricane with a shittier spinning headscissors than Lita's on Row-BEAR, but he's posted outside. Rosey with the avalanche on Grenier. Vertical suplex into the ring, Conway trips and holds the feet, 1, 2, 3. (03'41") Roll that beautiful bean footage. Please rise for the Canadian national anthem, as performed by Sylvan Grenier.
raw diva search
NEXT! The Highlight Reel
Milky Way presents stills from Jericho v. Tomko
Commercials: Joe Schmo 2 (4), Full Spectrum Warrior (2), Burger King for White People (2), Milky Way, YJ Stinger Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling (2), Stridex Clear Cycle (2), Taco Bell (2), Raging Bull on SpikeTV AND AFTER CATCH JOE SCHMO 2 (5)
Backstage, Lita ... is preparing to take an EPT test. Let's follow her to the turlet. Okay, that's far enough.
CHRIS JERICHO is out for the Highlight Reel at the top of the hour. "Welcome to Raw is Jericho! And tonight, tonight my guest on the Highlight Reel, and myself have something in common (hahaha) - we both won our matches last night at Bad Blood. So without further ado, let me introduce to all of you, the unbelieveable Eugeeeeeeene!" EUGENE is out with WILLIAM REGAL. Eugene holds his mic upside down, but no one thinks to correct him. "Eugene, congratulations on last night, and like I said, we have a lot in common. I mean, we both did win last night, and, quite obviously, we're both sexy beasts!" Eugene is bashful. "Oh yeah, Eugene, you are a sexy beast, I can tell! But most importantly of all, we are both huge wrestling fans, Eugene, I know that's true. Now I don't know if you're a Chris Jericho fan or not - oh, oh, oh really? Oh. In that case, let me ask you a question, Eugene, let me ask you this. What's your favorite Y2J moment?" Oops, it's upside down! Hilarity! "Chris Jericho peed in William Regal's tea and William Regal drank it!" Regal doesn't think it's bloody funny. "I did the same thing last week." Jericho is amused, Regal not as much. "That's, that's a little bit awkward, William, I'm sorry about that, mate. But - Eugene in all seriousness, I'm glad you came out here tonight, 'cause I wanna tell you something - no, listen to me, this is serious, this is very serious. Now you know last week - you know this week, your Uncle Eric Bischoff made a match for you against Triple H next week." "Triple H is my favorite wrestler!" "I want you to listen to me, Eugene, that might be the case right now, but, I don't know how long it's gonna last, 'cause I wanna tell you this - you may like Triple H, but he doesn't like you, Eugene. Triple H doesn't like anybody, all he cares about is himself. As a matter of fact, the only reason why your Uncle Eric made that match is so Triple H can beat the hell out of you and end your career forever. I know you don't wanna hear that, but that's the truth, Eugene. So I'm just warning you, you better prepare yourself, for next week, because -"
And we're cut off by EVOLUTION. Orton is carrying a present, and Eugene is really excited. Regal and Jericho are tense. HHH speaks. "I never - I know we've never been formally introduced, Eugene -" "You're Triple H! You're Triple H!" "That's right. I'm Triple H! How ya doin'?" They shake hands. "Eugene, and this is Evolution. These guys here are Evolution!" Orton shakes his hand, Flair gives him a fist-tap, and Batista, not wanting to get 'tard on him, gives him a thumbs-up. God Batista is great. "And Eugene, we're your friends. And I came out here (boo) - I came out here to tell you something. I came out here to tell you that Chris Jericho is a liar. 'Cause he said that I wasn't your friend, and Eugene, I am your friend. Yes! Yes! I am your friend! I'm the biggest friend you've got! I'm bigger than The Rock, I'm bigger than Chris Benoit, I'm bigger than anybody, Eugene, I'm the biggest friend you have! And that's why I brought you a present! That's right! Go ahead, open it, open it, go ahead, go ahead. Look at that - a Triple H hat! From your favorite wrestler to you. Careful that doesn't mess up your hair. Look what else is in there, go ahead, go ahead. A Triple H t-shirt! Yeah, got you an extra large so you can slip it on right over your coat there, yeah. No, no, it's okay. And look what else is in there - a picture! And know what? There's a Sharpie inside, and I'm gonna sign it. To my buddy! That's right! You see that, Eugene, look it says, 'To Eugene, my friend. From Triple H The Game.' How 'bout that? (hug) Yeah. Lookit - and, and, and, there's one other thing in there, and this is the special thing, Eugene. This is an Evolution t-shirt. But this is not for you - it's not for you. 'Cause, see, Eugene, what I was hoping is - no, it's okay, William, it's alright, it's okay, yeah - I was hopin' that maybe you'd give me your autograph, Eugene. Would you sign that shirt for me? Would you give me your autograph? Right there, sign it on the naked girl's butt. Yeah. Thanks, Eugene. God, you really are a good friend, you know that? Hey, would you do me one more favor, would you take a picture with me? You would? Alright. Hey, get a camera man up in the ring here. Come over here, come over here, it's okay, come over here with us. Yeah. Alright. Here we go, Eugene, here's a camera guy, okay, now ready. On three, you're gonna say 'pedigree', okay? Okay? 1 - 2 - 3." "PEDIGREEEE!" "Good. That's good. Thank you very much, Eugene. That's great. You know, and - I know you wanna get goin' and you wanna show your friends your new presents, but uh - I wanna explain somethin' to you, Eugene. See, you and I are really good friends. And, and a lot of times, people get jealous of things like that. And, and what they do is, people when they get jealous, they tell you lies. They, they, they tell you mean things, they're gonna say I don't really like you, 'cause they're jealous. Just like Chris Jericho did earlier - he told you lies. I want you to promise me something, Eugene. I want you to promise me that if anyone - and I mean anyone - were to tell you bad things about me, that you would tell me. That you will come to me, and tell me whoever says bad things about me, and I will deal with that person - personally. Is that a deal, Eugene?" "It's a deal!" "Huh?" "It's a deal!" "Alright, buddy. Now hey, you and I, we're gonna have a match next week, right in this ring. It's gonna be the greatest match of all-time, Eugene! The greatest! It's gonna be great, yeah. Right here, okay? I can't wait. So let me tell you what, you and William Regal, you go ahead, and uh, you go show him your presents, and you go head on in the back, and I'll see you right here next week, okay? Goodbye. Okay, bye, buddy! Go ahead."
Eugene and Regal leave and we're left with Jericho in the ring with Evolution. HHH wishes Eugene another goodbye. "Bye, Eugene! Bye, Eugene! Bye, William. Bye, William. See you next week, Eugene! You're gonna have a great time! I know I'm gonna! He's a great little guy, isn't he?" HHH turns to Jericho. "What the hell are you lookin' at? Oh - you gotta problem with that, huh? You got somethin' you wanna say?" "Congratulations, Trip! Man, you pulled one over on Eugene! Boy, that's quite a conquest, Trip. Great job! I hope you're proud of yourself. But you know what? You're not foolin' anyone else. And you're not foolin' me, and I'll tell you something, next week I'm gonna be the first in line, cheering, and screaming, and celebrating, when Eugene embarrasses you and beats you - 1, 2, 3." "No, no, no. No. I got this. I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about, Jericho! I got no idea what you're talkin' about. That's my friend. Eugene's my friend. And I tell ya what - by the end of tonight, you, and Edge, and your little buddy the world champion, you're all gonna get what's comin' to ya. And then, I'm gonna get what's comin' to me in the end, 'cause I'm gonna get the world heavyweight championship."
Backstage, STACY KEIBLER walks. "Litaaaa! (knock knock knock) Hey!" "Hey, Stacy!" "What's wrong?" "Um, n-nothing, I'm fine." "I was wondering if I could borrow your elbowpads. Because I have a match next, and I don't have any." "Sure! They are, uh..." "What's wrong with you? What's wrong?" "Can I trust you with something, Stace?" "Sure. What's going on?" "I took one of those home pregnancy tests." "Did it come up positive?" "I'm pregnant." "Oh my God, that's great! I'm so excited for you! You and Matt are gonna be parents? Oh my God, are you gonna get married? 'Cause you know, likeyouweregonnagetmarriedthatonetimebefore, and, this is great! See, you guys have been through so much, everything works out. This is so exciting!" "Look, Stacy, just promise me one thing, okay? Just - don't tell anyone yet, actually. Don't tell Matt, because I'm gonna meet him at the hotel tonight, and you know, I wanna be the one to tell him." "Yeah, of course! I'm so excited for you guys, this is so great!"
Commercials: Joe Schmo 2 (6), Burger King for White People (3), Milky Way (2), Clearasil Ultra (3), Gatorade (3), Migala Rug & Tile (local), Comcast digital info button (local), Raging Bull on SpikeTV AND AFTER CATCH JOE SCHMO 2 (7)
TONIGHT! Benoit & Edge & Jericho v. Flair & Orton & Batista
NIDIA & STACY KEIBLER (with Raw is brought to you by Maxim Hair Color for Men, Full Spectrum Warrior and YJ Stinger Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling) v. GAIL KIM & MOLLY HOLLY (with Next Monday Raw is LIVE! from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, FL): My heavens Nidia's boobs are enormous. I think it says something about their places in the company when Molly and Gail are now Gail and Molly and they come out to Gail's music. Your referee is Chad Patton. Nidia and Gail start, Nidia has some armdrags and enormous boobs. Backdrop and a dropkick, and Gail has seen enough, tag to Molly. Collar-and-elbow, Molly goes to a wristlock as we get an update on Shawn Michaels. He's in the hospital. Nidia counters into a hammerlock. Drop toe-hold from Molly and she works on the arm. She takes a swing at Stacy Keibler, who slowly ducks and seems moderately surprised. Tag to Keibler, boot to the gut, into the corner, STACY BOOT CHOKE! Stacy sent to the apron, slap to Molly, and "Gail Kim just jerked Stacy off." Back in and Molly controls. Molly fish-hooks Stacy. Cover, 2. Front facelock, tag to Nidia, but Patton didn't see the tag, so you get out with those big ol' jugs. Tag to Gail. Gail exhibits her submission offense by working on the legs. Tag to Molly. Here are some heel shenanigans. Here is me using the FF button. Tag to Gail, Stacy can't make the tag to Nidia. Gail with some leg-stretchage and that's a heck of a camera angle. Tap tap tap. (05'10")
Smackdown Rebound features Cena's three-match deal and Eddie Guerrero getting drunk and wrecking Bradshaw's car. Would you believe I can actually watch Smackdown now? Unreal.
Up Next - Hell in a Cell junk
Live!
06/18 - Escape the Rules Tour - Spartanburg, SC - Spartanburg Memorial
Auditorium
06/19 - Escape the Rules Tour - North Charleston, SC - North Charleston Coliseum
06/20 - Escape the Rules Tour - Ft. Myers, FL - Germain Arena
06/21 - Raw - Miami, FL - American Airlines Arena
06/25 - Escape the Rules Tour - Buffalo, NY - HSBC Arena
Commercials: Joe Schmo 2 (8), White Chicks (2), YJ Stinger Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling (3), Subway (2), Custom Robot (2), Remington Titanium (2), Stridex Clear Cycle (3), Taco Bell (3)
WWE.com!
Here is a shot of the beautiful Ervin J. Nutter Center in beautiful Dayton.
The brutal finality of the most storied rivalry in WWE history ends inside wrestler's prison TONIGHT (last night). Nice pretend crowd noise.
Your hosts tonight are Jim Ross and JERRY THE KING LAWLER. Earlier Tonight, Kane broke Bischoff's stuff. Earlier Tonight, Kane killed Shawn Michaels.
NEXT! Our main event
Commercials: Anchorman (2), Castrol GTX High Mileage (3), Burger King for Black People (2), White Chicks (3), Stridex Clear Cycle (4), Driv3r, Geico
Next Week - Eugene v. Triple H
SIX-MAN TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH - BATISTA, RANDY ORTON (Intercontinental Champion) & THE NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR (combined 807, with Triple H and 1-800-Call-ATT presents Vengance on July 11) v. CHRIS JERICHO (230, Manhasset, NY), EDGE (250, Toronto, ON) & CHRIS BENOIT (World Heavyweight Champion, 229, homeless): Apparently Benoit isn't residing anywhere anymore. Your referee is Mike Chioda, who warns HHH if he steps out of line, he's gone. Jericho and Orton lock it up, break, try again, Jericho with the go-behind. Waistlock takedown and some quick matwork. Bow-and-arrow, Orton gets away and into a side headlock takeover. Jericho with the headscissors. Tag to Flair, trade of hammerlocks ending with Jericho's. Off the ropes, shoulderblock. Slap! Slap! Jericho gets caught in the wrong corner and Batista gets some shots in. Flair with chops and a snapmare. Kneedrop, tag to Batista. Lawler incessantly harasses JR about Eugene and HHH's new "friendship", and eventually JR loses it. "I'm tappin'! I'm tappin' out!" Flair back in and he eats backdrop no. 1. Tag to Edge, backdrop no. 2. Clothesline to the floor, Orton comes in, Benoit cuts him off. Batista comes in and Batista is down 3-to-1, which is the only way these sallies could fight the pure powerful power that is BATISTA!!! Evolution on the floor and we'll take a break (03'38")
Commercials: Full Spectrum Warrior (3), Subway (3), Clearasil Ultra (4), Tupac Resurrection (2), Twix (2), Castrol GTX High Mileage (4), McDonald's, U.S. Cellular (2), McDonald's (2)
You know, that U.S. Cellular little kid that tries to count to 100 for his grandma on the phone is super stupid. Now, counting to 100 is not the issue, nor failing to. It's getting to TWO. The kid can't get to TWO. COME ON. That kid is dumb!
We're back and everyone's still there. Flair is in with Benoit and he's chopping. Benoit returns the favor several times and there's a Flair flop. More chopping from Benoit. Backdrop no. 3. Flair rolls to the wrong corner and eats a Benoit headbutt. Flop no. 2. Tag to Edge, and he's thumbed in the eye. Flair with chops, Edge with a clothesline. "Oh God, my neck!" Into the corner, Edge tries the ten-punch and he's hit in the dick halfway through. Tag to Orton, and he takes a snap suplex. Forearm from Benoit, knee from Orton and some shots to the back. Into the heel corner, tag to Batista. Benoit with a chop, chop, chop, off the ropes, spinebuster from Batista! Setting for the sit-out power bomb, Jericho comes in and gets taken out. Batista nails Edge for fun. Batista has muscles! Ahh! Tag out to Orton and Benoit will be in peril. Tag to Flair, chop. Cover, 2, kickout. Flair goes to the armbar and then a wristlock. Benoit needs the tag but Flair trips him up and tags out to Batista. Batista looks right at Jericho and Edge before hitting a vertical suplex for two. Batista works on the back with shoulderblocks to the spine in the corner. He charges and misses, though. Tag to Jericho! Chops, off the ropes, reversed, back elbow/chop is ducked, caught, Jericho slides down. Chop block is effective and he's going for the Walls of Jericho, but Batista is strong because he has muscles. Drop toe-hold and Jericho gets the running rope-assisted Mike Enos. Off the ropes again and Jericho runs right into a lariat. Edge and Benoit come in and Batista clotheslines both of them down. Jericho hits the enzuigiri - 1, 2, Orton breaks. Edge takes Orton out, Flair takes Edge out, Benoit chops Flair over to the floor. Batista hits Benoit with a clothesline and turns around into a spear from Edge! Flying headbutt from Benoit! Lionsault from Jericho! 1, 2, 3, Batista is eliminated! (08'52") Man that makes Batista look strong. Flair and Jericho are in as the crowd na na na's Batista to the back. Flair dominates and tags Orton in. Orton I think shits his pants while applying this chinlock. Tag out to Edge, and he has shoulderblocks and clotheslines and a vertical suplex for two. Edge misses a charge, Orton's up top but he gets cut off. Superplex! Edge wants Orton to get up for the spear, foolishly ignoring that HHH has come to stand behind him, and yep, there's the trip, but Chioda didn't see it. Flair comes back in and he breaks out his full repertoire: chops. Edge with a clothesline and both are down. Moron Flair goes up top and guess what. Tag to Jericho, chops. Into the corner out, backdrop no. 4. Forearm shot from Jericho, off the ropes and Flair is too slow for the bulldog and it looks god awful. Orton breaks the pin, Benoit tosses Orton and follows him out. Jericho flips out of a back suplex, Walls of Jericho! HHH gets on the apron to distract Chioda as Flair taps. Orton with the RKO on Jericho! Cover - 1, 2, 3, Jericho is eliminated. (15'25") Let's take a break!
Commercials: Joe Schmo 2 (9), Burger King for White People (4), Gatorade (4), MVP Baseball 2004 on Gamecube (2), YJ Stinger Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling (4), 50 First Dates on DVD (2), Joe Schmo 2 (10)
We're back and we're going real long tonight. This is what you get when you air 10 Joe Schmo commercials and run a 5-minute promo for the show. Flair and Benoit in and Benoit chops him a thousand times, to which Flair responds by standing there awkwardly. Snap suplex, Flair is begging off all over the place. Flair backs into Edge's right and turns around into Benoit's chops. Flop no. 3. Tag to Edge, he's chopped down and Orton is tagged back in. Kneedrop, cover, 2. Let's have a chinlock! Out of that and a spinning heel kick from Edge. Tag to Benoit, chops, short arm clothesline, forearm, whipped off the ropes, kneelift, cover, 2. Orton responds with his own kneelift and he tags Flair. Flair struts and chops. Benoit throws chops back and they slug it out. German suplex! German suplex! Orton makes the save and Flair's chest is bleeding from the chops. German suplex on Orton. Orton sent to the floor, floating gracefully in mid-air. Benoit's blue-collar work ethic ducks a chop and hits a shoulderblock. Tags to Edge and Orton, Flair takes backdrop no. 5. Edge's backdrops are scary. Backdrop no. 6 on Flair. Spear on Flair! Orton sneaks in with a low blow - RKO! 1, 2, 3, Edge is eliminated. (05'42") We're down to Benoit v. Flair & Orton. Crossface on Flair! Tap tap tap, Flair is gone. (06'27") It's one-on-one between the world champion and the intercontinental champion and that's just swell. Orton with forearms to the chest. As Benoit puts his arms around Orton (for a German suplex), I can tell he's never been this far before. Second German is blocked and then Chioda is nailed by Orton. Benoit sweeps the legs and goes for the sharpshooter, but here comes HHH. German suplex on HHH! RKO, blocked, crossface, Orton rolls through, legs swept, sharpshooter! That's the worst sharpshooter ever. Chioda is back - tap tap tap! Benoit survives! (08'59" - 28'02" aired) That's a long main event. I think I liked this match better than anything at Bad Blood but this had its drawbacks too. Benoit v. Evolution is tired. Flair is horrendous. But it was fine. I should shut up.
Next week, I might not be as late with this. But that could be a lie.