WWE RAW - 05.31.04
by Scott
Christ
"In celebration of Memorial Day in America, tonight, we dedicate this edition of Raw to the men and women of the United States armed forces, who paid the ultimate price for our country. We owe a debt of gratitude to these dedicated patriots who defended our freedoms to their DEATH. A debt of gratitutde that can never be repaid. Because of their sacrifice, we as a nation are free to exercise all of our freedoms and rights as guaranteed by our constitution. (descent into 9/11 FOOTAGE) However, we as a people often take for granted these extraordinary rights and freedoms, and forget that FREEDOM - is not FREE. We sometimes forget the sacrifices it takes to REMAIN a free nation. So tonight, let us not forget the TRUE MEANING of Memorial Day." Taps? Seriously, a bit much.
CC - TV-14-DLV - SmackDown!/WWE Experience/Bottom Line/Velocity/Heat/Afterburn/Tough Enough - RAW - Attitude - Entertainment - Bischoff/Johnny Nitro
Shawn/HHH video package
Union Underground welcomes us to Raw and we are indeed LIVE! in Montreal, PQ from the Centre Bell, on Memorial Day, May 31, 2004! Transmitido en Espanol! TONIGHT! Randy Orton v. Shelton Benjamin! RIGHT NOW! Tag titles!
WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH - CHRIS BENOIT (1/2 champions, World Heavyweight Champion, 229, homeless this week) & EDGE (1/2 champions, 250, Toronto, ON) v. LA RÉSISTANCE (challengers, combined 477, Quebec's Own): Mixed reaction for Conway and Grenier which makes this seem a lot cooler than it really is. Grenier is obviously actually excited, and Conway just seems happy that someone cares. "There's no doubt that La Resistance has been in more tag team matches lately than the champions." I guess, kind of. There are better ways to put the point JR is trying to make. Your referee is Jack Doan. Conway starts with Edge, collar-and-elbow, Edge backs him into the corner and gives a clean break. Back to the C&E, Edge twists the arm, but Conway reverses with an overhand wristlock. Edge sweeps the legs, tag to Benoit, who gets booed some. Benoit with chops and kicks in the corner, corner whip, snap suplex. Cover, 2. Into the "face" corner, tag to Edge. Chop from Edge, corner whip, charge, Conway gets the boot up. Conway with stomps, arm work, tag to Grenier, who gets (mostly) a face pop. Grenier continues the arm work over the ropes. "Let's go Sylvan" chant is fucking fucked the fuck up. Armbar from Grenier as he keeps Edge in his corner. Second City Saints sign? Armdrag by Grenier, tag to Conway. Lawler is lighting Ross up during this whole match. Edge comes back after Conway continues the arm work, which gets booed, and Benoit gets the tag. Forearms, clothesline and a shot to Grenier, who wasn't DOING anything to him. Benoit fucks up the sharpshooter on Conway, and Grenier comes in. Benoit tries the sharpshooter on Grenier and has a hell of a time with it again. Benoit looks off tonight. German #1 on Conway, German #2 on Conway, German #3 on Conway, cut da troat! Diving headbutt misses and Grenier knocks Edge off the apron, then tells Conway to get him up. They go for their Double-Team Maneuver, but Edge breaks it up. Benoit gets the crossface on Conway, who is ready to tap before Grenier breaks the hold to a big pop. It's anybody's ballgame here, we will continue! (05'48")
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Welcome back to this special Memorial Day Edition of Monday Night Raw, and Sylvan Grenier has Chris Benoit in a chinlock. During the break, La Resistance built a significant advantage. Benoit gets out, and Grenier works on Benoit's neck. "Let's go Benoit" chant, I think. Benoit comes back with a shitty enzuigiri that even JR won't try to cover for. Tag to Edge, clothesline, boooo. Forearm shot, boooo. Front-layout suplex ("Inverted, uh, DDT!") Edge up top, missile dropkick - 1, 2, Conway breaks. Benoit in with another German. Edge spears Benoit by accident! The Tandem Move! 1, 2, 3! New champions! (03'03" - 08'51" aired) Well, a special moment in the lives of Rob Conway and Sylvan Grenier. I really enjoy that it was totally clean and just a mistake made by Benoit and Edge. Grenier and Conway wave the flags to big cheers. Good for them. The match wasn't very good, but it wasn't La Resistance's fault, it was Benoit being terrible tonight. Perhaps everyone is lagged from the trip to Europe.
Shawn Michaels v. HHH - HELL in a CELL - WWE Bad Blood - June 13
YJ Stinger Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling
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WWE Experience - Sundays at 10am on SpikeTV
Moments Ago, Edge speared Benoit and was the victim of The Tandem Move as La Resistance became the new world tag team champions
Conway and Grenier celebrate with the fans. "It is like the Montreal Expos winning the World Series!" Nah, people are there.
TODD GRISHAM is backstage and he gets booed. You know, now that it's well over seven years, do you think they care? Do you think they KNOW? If Shelton wins tonight, he'll get a title shot at Bad Blood. RANDY ORTON will speak on this. "Todd, you're right - I'm not happy, okay? But it's not because of the stipulation, okay? It's not because if Shelton Benjamin beats me, he gets a shot at my intercontinental championship, that's not why - it's because Shelton Benjamin isn't in the same league as me. He doesn't deserve to be in the same ring as me. I - am Randy Orton. I - am the legend killer. I - am the intercontinental champion, okay? Shelton Benjamin couldn't beat me on his best day." Todd has footage that says otherwise. Last Monday, Shelton pinned Randy with That Version of a Powerslam. "That was a fluke - THAT WAS A FLUKE, TODD - that was an accident! That's EXACTLY what Shelton Benjamin is, an ACCIDENT, okay? This is as close as he's EVER gonna get to my intercontinental championship."
ERIC BISCHOFF is backstage with WILLIAM REGAL. "It's extraordinary, isn't it, the match you've made, Shelton Benjamin against Randy Orton, even with Mr. Orton's complaining, it's going to be wonderful for the fans, isn't it?" "Well, Mr. Regal." "A treat." "I made that match for one reason and one reason only - to take back control of my show. It's important to me that I give the fans of Monday Night Raw what they want." "Well they deserve it, they certainly do." "I'm certainly not going let what happened last week between Triple H and Shawn Michaels happen again this week. It's all about control. And speaking of control, may I ask, where is Eugene?" "Oh, he's fine, he's doing handstands. Eugene, dear boy! Come on, get down." "I'm here!" EUGENE is here. "Hi, Uncle Eric!" "Mr. Regal, I've got to admit - you know, I brought Eugene in to Monday Night Raw really as a favor to my sister. But, he's become so popular and such a valuable asset, I really have to hand it to you, and I really want to thank you." "Well, thank you. No, thank you. It's been a pleasure, hasn't it, dear boy?" "And Eugene, to show my appreciation to you, you're going to get your second one-on-one match tonight. Against a friend, I might add." THE COACH is here. "I'm gonna wrestle the Coach?" "No. Eugene, I said a friend, and the Coach here, isn't really a friend. As a matter of fact, Coach, I want you to apologize to Eugene." "That's why you wanted to see me? I'm not gonna apologize to him! You can't be serious!" "Oh, I'm quite serious, Coach. Eugene is my nephew - get my drift?" "Alright. Eugene, I'm SORRY." "Okay." "That good enough for ya?" "No, that's NOT good enough for me, Coach! That's not good enough at all! I said apologize - and I want a sincere apology from you. In fact, I want a sincere apology from you, in the middle of that ring, in public! And Coach? If you value your job? You'd be heading to that ring in right about, mm, I dunno - NOW!" Coach heads to that ring. "Bye, Coach!" "That's a turn-up for the books, isn't it dear boy? Isn't it?" "WWE Unscripted is a book." "Yes it is."
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Maxim Hair Color presents Coach insulting Eugene
Coach is in the ring. "Okay, Eugene! I promised your uncle I would come out here and apologize, and because the Coach is a man of his word, I would appreciate it if you would please come out here, there is something I need to say." We wait. "Eugene, please, if you wouldn't mind coming out here, I'd really appreciate that." Eugene makes his way out while one guy is mic'd going WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "Okay, Eugene, let's cut right to the chase. You're not my favorite person, and I'm pretty sure that I'm not yours. So let's not try and fool anybody here. But the fact still remains that two weeks ago, I did come out here, and two weeks ago, I did make fun of you. I honestly thought that you were a joke. But the bottom line is, Eugene, you've proven to everybody that you are the real deal! You are not a joke whatsoever. And, it surprised me, and I think it surprised everybody else, that the actual joke was on the Coach. I can admit that! And because of making fun of you, I stand here as a man, and looking you right in the eye, and saying simply, I'm sorry." Coach extends his hand. "I truly am sorry." Eugene shakes. "I mean, I accused you of having no friends whatsoever. And that's obvious not - obviously not the case! I mean, when you think about it, The Rock, the Brahma Bull, he's your friend! The world heavyweight champion Chris Benoit, believe me, I know, he's your friends. And as much as it pains me to admit, all of these people here, they are your friends." EU GENE EU GENE EU GENE "As a matter of fact, I ran into a person earlier today that is also a friend of yours. But more importantly than that, he's a fan as well. He's a fan of Eugene's. As a matter of fact, he wanted to personally introduce himse--" BOOM! For the love of God it's KANE. I think he has a herpes blister. Well, wonder where he got that. "Eugene - it's okay. Kane is actually the person I was talking about. I - I think that - I think that he wants to be your friend." Kane offers a hug? Kane just wants to be loved, you people! Can't you see that! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? He is a human being! He needs love! Eugene approaches tentatively but the hug goes just fine. "I don't believe it, either! Apparently Kane DOES wanna be your friend. Kane, apparently, Eugene, Kane is your friend. BUT I'M NOT!" Coach nails Eugene from behind, Kane gets in Coach's face, and this is predictable - clothesline to Eugene! Coach finds this exceedingly funny.
Yeah, that's two straight segments with nothing but talking. Welcome to '99.
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WWE Hall of Fame DVD
Moments Ago, that stuff happened
BACKSTAGE, Eric and Coach laugh. "That may have been the best one yet! Oh did you see him - WHAM! But my favorite part though - 'I really think, Eugene, Kane, Kane wants to be your friend! AHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA!" Regal busts in. "Was that really bloody necessary?! I've got a good mind to punch you right in the--" "You've got a good mind to what? To lose your job? William? 'Cause that's exactly what's gonna happen if you don't drop that tone with me - RIGHT NOW. Listen - I tried to be the nice guy, alright? Bring Eugene in, week or two, he'd be gone. NO. Eugene's gotta go and get popular. Become an embarrassment to me and my family. I've had it. I'm gonna put an end to it tonight. Because tonight, Eugene is gonna get his second singles match, one-on-one, all by himself, and no one - NO ONE - is going to interfere. Because if they do, they will be fired on the spot. Tonight, Eugene goes one-on-one - withkane!"
I ain't da lady to mess wit
NON-TITLE MATCH - VICTORIA (Women's Champion, Los Angeles, CA, with Raw is brought to you by N-Gage QD, Castrol GTX High Mileage and YJ Stinger Catch the Buzz, Feel the Bling) v. JAZZ (New Orleans, LA): Your referee is Chris Kay (is that it?). Someone tell me his name, please. (It's Chris Kay. -tcf) Jazz has a new robe and it's pretty cool. C&E, Jazz goes into the hammerlock and gets a waistlock takedown. People start walking out from ringside. Jazz works on the neck, Victoria comes out with a wristlock. Forearm from Jazz, "We Want Bret" chants. They discuss Victoria and JR defends this shit: "She's still highly entertaining, in my view." Victoria hits the splits and Jazz drops the elbow. LEGDROP. Victoria stays in the splits and Jazz gets a camel clutch of sorts. Out, cover, 2. She's very bendy. Into the corner, Jazz with a back elbow, kick, back elbow, corner whip, Victoria kicks up and gets a crossbody - 1, 2, kickout. What's Victoria got, huh? This is a good match but this crowd is very very dead. Bitchplant by Jazz and Jazz goes into the STF. No one buys it because no one cares. That's too bad. Victoria gets the ropes, then drops Jazz over the bottom rope. Victoria to the apron, shoulderblock, catapult -> sunset flip, 2. Jazz with a kneelift, off the ropes, Victoria catches the powerslam. SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU, MONTREAL! Yay she said Montreal! Jazz rolls Victoria up before the seizuresault, exposing her ass, but no, we don't see THAT. I know the ladies will scoff (haha ladies reading this) but listen, I have to see Shawn Michaels' ass. Jazz with a kick, clutched for a suplex, Victoria slides down, Victoria with a schoolgirl - 1, 2, 3! (04'12") I ain't da lady to mess wit
TONIGHT! Eugene v. Kane
NEXT! Randy Orton v. Shelton Benjamin
Raw Diva Search - try to be white with big fake tits, ladies
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Remembering Our Heroes...
NON-TITLE MATCH - RANDY ORTON (Intercontinental Champion, 255, St. Louis, MO, with Batista, copyright notice, Transmitido en Espanol and Subway presents Bad Blood) v. SHELTON BENJAMIN (248, Orangeburg, SC): Your referee is Chad Patton. C&E, Benjamin with the waistlock takedown, cradle, 2. Circle, Orton with some forearms to the back. And more. Whip to the corner, Shelton gets a boot up on the charge and puts Orton down with a clothesline. Orton with a shoulderblock off the ropes - POSE. Leapfrog by Shelton, rope-running, dropkick attempt but Orton holds the ropes. Orton with a standing dropkick. Orton attempts to remove the turnbuckle pad as Batista distracts the referee, but it doesn't come off. Orton puts him down, let's try again. This is what you get when this punk didn't have to pay his dues on a ring crew. AGAIN it doesn't happen. Orton throws Shelton to the floor. Hey, third time's a charm, maybe. It works and people cheer. Back in, Shelton stops himself from hitting the exposed steel, and WHAP they crack heads and Orton is busted open hardway over the left eye. Batista puts Shelton into the steel as the referee attends to Orton. Orton rolls over - 1, 2, shoulder up. This match will continue. This match is dead. (04'03")
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We're back and Orton has another fucking stupid ass submission hold on. Goddamn it every week with this garbage. Can't someone teach him an abdominal stretch or something? Shelton counters out with a jawbuster. Lawler is overselling Orton's minor cut which is both fun and annoying. Benjamin hits the floor when Batista pulls the referee down. The referee throws Batista out. The crowd comes alive because they have something to chant, na na na na, etc. Back in, Orton covers - 1, 2, shoulder up. European uppercut. I am not a peein' uppercut. Orton with the Beat Down in the corner. Shelton hits the exposed turnbuckle but decides to sell his lower back, which surely did not hit the steel. Cover, 2, shoulder up. This match really stinks. Orton goes right back to the stupid submission. Orton eats some rights and a back elbow. Off the ropes again, Orton takes a backdrop. Kneelift, to the corner, Orton charges, monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet. Orton runs, caught with a powerslam - 1, 2, kickout. This is "athletic athleticism." Orton gets the feet up in the corner, and heads up - flying crossbody, Shelton rolls through, 2, kickout. Benjamin tries something, Orton gets a backbreaker, 2. RKO? Backslide! 1, 2, no. Orton thumbs Shelton in the eye and decides he'll leave. That makes no sense but of course the foolish babyface cahses and POW Orton with a sucker-punch. Instead of leaving him on the floor to try for the countout and not let Benjamin get his title shot, Orton throws him back in and immediately walks into That Powerslam! 1, 2, 3. (06'26") Not a good match. In fact, really bad. Both of these guys are limited as hell and this is feeling a lot like the Cena/Dupree feud.
Kane - Chris Benoit - the World Heavyweight Championship - WWE Bad Blood - June 13
YJ Stinger Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling
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let's not forget the raw diva search.
Backstage, STACY KEIBLER talks to Todd Grisham after he interrupts her "photo shoot." Stacy puts the stupid ass diva search over and she still can't talk and I wish they'd stop having her talk. But that's a cute top, way better than most of the junk they have her wear. You know, if I were them (and I'm not), I would use one of these Photos from Stacy's Photo Shoot as her new WWE.com profile photo. Let's check and see if they did that. Nope. She did casually mention that her sister is entering.
TRIPLE H is on his way to the ring to speak in a terrible suit. You know, when you've got big ass shoulders, don't wear SHOULDERPADS. You look DUMB. "You can all stop looking at the entrance area - you can stop looking around in the crowd - for the sneak attack - because Shawn Michaels is not here tonight. Eric Bischoff has banned Shawn Michaels from this arena. Yeah. You don't like it, I don't like it. Y'see'cause'if Shawn Michaels was here, I could've finished what I started last week. But instead, I've gotta wait until Bad Blood. See at Bad Blood - is where this whole thing is gonna finally be over. One of the greatest rivalries in the history of this industry." Oh goodness. "HBK Shawn Michaels - Triple H The Game - it's all gonna be over. In the one match that just about seemed like it was designed for that sole purpose - HELL - in a CELL. A match that was designed for one reason, and one reason only, and that is to BE - the END. The end of issues, the end of conflicts, the end of careers." Here is a video package highlighting HHH's triumphs in the Cell against Cactus Jack, Chris Jericho and Kevin Nash, set to the Drowning Pool version of his theme song. "Shawn Michaels - see you in hell."
Your hosts tonight are JIM ROSS and THE KING. King has some Martha Stewart topical humor. Bad Blood! Benoit v. Kane! Orton v. Benjamin! Victoria v. Gail Kim! HHH v. Shawn Michaels HELL in a CELL!
Triple H is still standing on the ramp.
Commercials: Joe Schmo 2 (2), GBA Mario v. Donkey Kong (5), Clearasil Ultra (4), Starship Troopers 2 on DVD (4), Castrol GTX High Mileage (5), Twix (2), Boost Mobile, Dodgeball
Backstage, Eric is on ze phone. JOHNNY NITRO arrives. "What's up, EB?" "Johnny, I want you to go, uh, fetch Eugene." "You gonna humiliate him some more?" "Just - go get Eugene - and bring him to me - now." "Yes, sir."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Lame Matt Facts: Matt & Lita hate sparkling water. Lame Matt Facts: Matt's life is better with Lita in it.
MATT HARDY VERSION ONE (229, Cameron, NC, with Lita) v. GARRISON CADE (263, San Antonio, TX): Your referee is Jack Doan. Collar-and-elbow, Matt with the hammerlock. Cade gets the ropes, Hardy doesn't break, so Cade elbows him. Well, what do you want him to do? Corner whip, reversed, Cade kicks up and no one's home, RIGHT HAND! Cade comes back, right is ducked, Hardy with a kick to the gut, Cade with a hotshot. Cover, 2, kickout. Blatant choke. Replay of the right. He's Vee One Ah. Cade coming back with left jabs and a hard overhand right. Cover, 2, kickout. Rear chinlock from Cade. "We Want Bret" chants - listen you fags enough already. Seriously. Lita yells and yells and she is a terrible second. Trade of rights and I love this match. Whip reversed by Cade, shuffling and Hardy throws Cade to the floor. Slingshot plancha! He's Vee One Ah. Back in, Matt ducks a right - Side Effect! 1, 2, shoulder up. Cade with a super short-arm clothesline to turn the tide and he sets for a piledriver. Matt backdrops out. Knockdown, Matt to the second rope, make 'em say uhhh, second-rope legdrop. Twist of Fate! And particularly nasty at that. 1, 2, 3! Good match. (03'43") Montreal really sucks.
Smackdown Rebound feat. John Bradshaw Layfield. He will make his decision for the stipulation for the Bash rematch this Thursday, and PLUS, Undertaker v. Booker T! And a bikini contest with the returning Sable!
Let us again return to Eric's office, where Johnny arrives with Eugene. "Got him for ya, sir." "Johnny, I'd uh, I'd like to talk to Eugene - alone." "Yes, sir." "Eugene, why don't you sit down? Eugene, you know you have a match tonight, right? Are you okay?" "I'm okay." "Are ya sure? Look, Eugene, I don't know how to say this to you, but, Uncle Eric knew what was gonna happen out there with Kane tonight." "Wha - why did you do that to me, Uncle Eric?" "Eugene, you gotta listen to me. Do you remember when you and I talked about tough love? Well, Uncle Eric is just doing what he has to do to protect you. See you're not cut out for this type of business, you, you really don't belong here. Eugene, I'm doing this for your own good. And, and if you don't believe Uncle Eric, then - then you have a chance to go out there and prove me wrong. Good luck, Eugene. Eugene? Do you have a - a hug for Uncle Eric?" He does. Eric seems conflicted. Seriously, do you think part of the reason they did this angle was so they could call him Uncle Eric on TV all the time?
Commercials: N-Gage QD (3), Eurotrip on DVD (3), Milky Way (3), Gatorade (2), Burger King (2), Oak Express (local), Patio Enclosures Inc. (local)
Remembering Our Heroes...
The Highlight Reel is set up in the ring. JR was under the impression Jericho was unable to be here.
Tour of Defiance highlights from Dublin, Manchester and Birmingham.
Back to the ring, and Jericho's music hits, but I predict correctly that TRISH STRATUS is out instead, accompanied by TYSON TOMKO. Trish talks uncomfortably forever and we get replays from Last Monday of Tomko power bombing Jericho through the table. "Wow - hello? 911? Yes, I'd like to report a robbery. It seems Trish and Tomko just stole the show!" Haha, that was good. Trish does an impersonation of British JR. Trish enjoys Mr. Tomko's work. He smiles. :) Trish wants another look at the footage. Instead, she gets CHRIS JERICHO, whose pants don't match his shirt. Tomko and Jericho go at it, and Jericho gets the enzuigiri. Jericho gets the walls on Trish, and Tomko MISSES HIS KICK *AGAIN*! Jericho has the DDP rib tape. They beat him up some more and leave him laying.
Backstage, Kane is in a red room. RED ROOM! RED ROOM! Then suddenly, Kane gives the MIKE FETTERS STARE!
Catch the Raw Superstars Live! Saturday at the Fleet Center in Boston, Sunday at the Blue Cross Arena in Rochester, next Monday at the Pepsi Center in Albany, one week from Sunday it's Bad Blood at the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, and two weeks from tonight, Raw from the Nutter Center in Dayton.
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We are back and we are LIVE and it is main event time.
KANE (320, homeless, with Raw is live next Monday from the Pepsi Center in Albany, call 518-476-1000 for tickets or visit ticketmaster.com or any ticketmaster outlets and Earlier Tonight Kane clotheslined Eugene) v. EUGENE (242, Louisville, KY): Your referee is Mike Chioda. Kane offers a hug but Eugene is no one's fool. Eugene is tentative. Kane charges, Eugene ducks a right/clothesline. Repeat. Kane corners Eugene, but Eugene gets a waistlock and a leg trip, half-nelson, cover, 2. Kane is shocked. And mad. Charge, duck, schoolboy, 2. Lariat from Kane and about the first decent clothesline he's thrown in months. Eugene tries a sunset flip off the ropes, but it doesn't work. Kane brings Eugene up and tosses him to the corner. Drop toe-hold from Eugene. Up top - he tries a double axhandle but gets caught with a clothesline. Crowd is still dead and Montreal really sucks, stop giving them TV. Or maybe this show has just sucked. Stop giving crappy shows TV. Kane gets a two-count and tosses Eugene to the crowd. "Let's go Eugene" chant. Back in with a suplex, Kane has a blatant chokehold, come on, ref, that's a blatant chokehold. I don't think JR knows how to call this match, and this is a really terrible match too. Kane with the uppercut. Let's speed this up, fellas. I know how to speed this up. Kane continues to dominate and yells "snapmare" before doing a "snapmare." Eugene hulks up and throws many rights, causing Kane to cover up. Kane gets knocked to the floor and gets a chair to throw into the ring. Eugene gets it and throws it out. Kane gets a second chair, Chioda tries to take it, and Kane throws him to the mat. Eugene knocks the chair away - DDT on the chair. Chioda calls for the bell and DQ's Kane. (06'47") Kane is mad - big boot! Chokeslam! Kane goes to tombstone the retard on the chair, but CHRIS BENOIT is out for the save. Benoit goes for the crossface immediately, but Kane is too strong. Yet he was not too strong for Eugene. Kane bails and Benoit checks on Eugene. Eugene points at Benoit. Good thing the tard gives the world heavyweight champion the rub. Ugh. Goodnight.