IWA-MS
Highland, IN - 05/08/04
by Scott Christ

I got a flyer for this show at the door when I went to see ROH in Chicago Ridge on 04/24, and the next day I decided I actually wanted to go to this show to see Chris Hero v. Homicide and Bobby the motherfucking Brain Heenan. Plus it turns out Highland is only about an hour and a half away so the trip wasn't bad at all.

We got into Highland and found the Lincoln Center, and I noticed some faces from the ROH crowd, namely a guy that has an uncanny resemblance to one of the clerks at the gas station on the corner of my street. That clerk used to get called Soup Ladle in high school, so now this guy is Soup Ladle to me. I noticed him as we pulled into the parking lot and only assumed that we must be at the right place. Also giving it away was the sign.

After we hit town, we went over to Miner-Dunn, which is a pseudo-authentic 50s diner burger joint-type place (and by pseudo-authentic I mean it's not like they're even trying to convince you they're authentic, and they don't call it that; they just play "Blue Moon" a hundred times and give you a cup of sherbert soft serve with a deluxe meal, which means you get fries). Anyway, point is, the waitress there was kind of a babe. Not in an overly attractive way, but in that I got the feeling she was not repulsed by me, and somehow she was very sexy. She also wore a black bra under her white shirt so that meant she was into doing dirty stuff. But that's not really the story, I guess.

We walked back yonder toward the Lincoln Center and decided to go on in and have a look-see, and that we did. I had planned to pay $10 for my seat, being that it's an IWA-MS show and while I dig a lot of stuff I've seen of theirs on tape, it's not like I'm all THAT excited for this. But the fat woman in a Godsmack t-shirt convinces us that for JUST FIVE DOLLARS MORE, we can have non-bleacher seating, and really, this appeals to me, given that I know IWA shows run very long, and I do not want to sit on bleachers for like five hours. So for just five dollars more, we took third-row seats, which worked out fine. We were to the right of the hard camera on the aisle closest to it. Not that there are really aisles, but calling it a corner seems trashier than necessary.

Right after we got into town, I picked up that Highland was my kinda place, and these people were my people. The ROH people are not so much my people, though I am friendly enough to fool them into thinking I'm one of them, so it all works out. I would rather be in a place with a big fat guy with a beard taking his eight (or so) year old son to see the pro wrestling of which he grew up a fan, and the kid has a rat-tail, and he is Home-Made T-Shirt Kid. And I like that kid. And I like his dad. We sat pretty close to them and every time I thought maybe I was getting even slightly annoyed by the little kid saying shit, I figured, you know what, at least he likes this. At least he's booing the bad guys and his dad is with him on that, and he's not going to say "you got served" at any point. Well, so I thought. He said it a few times, when it did not make sense, and it only goes to show how much influence a dude with a Colt Cabana t-shirt can have on little kids, as Home-Made T-Shirt Kid, in all his righteous wonder, to be sure, would eventually spend most of the night trying to make older, douchier people think he's cool like them. Someday, Home-Made T-Shirt Kid is going to grow up, and the kids that are his age that don't have awesome dads taking them to wrestling, and don't have rattails, and grow up to be the guys he was trying to impress, they're going to look down on him and spit at him just like his dad did to one of the heels (I do not remember which). I just hope that kid can grow up to be the same kind of person his father is, and he can ignore all the Chicago assholes that made the drive just to talk shit about his kind after the show.

Show starts maybe a little late, but who's counting? Not a sellout, in fact almost the entire second-row on our side is empty. We don't move up because we have respect, plus there are these fucking idiot Chicagoans two rows ahead of us, three of them, that I believe had absolutely no interest in being there, and I didn't want to be closer to them than I had to be. They spent 90% of the time they were inside (they left twice before leaving for good before the main event started) talking about anything but wrestling and not paying attention to the matches at all. Ian Rotten comes out and delivers the IWA-MS Show Opening Ian Rotten Promo, which actually ends up meaning something this time as after Ian takes roughly seven years to get to it, he announces that IWA is becoming part of the NWA. Some NWA official guy came out and made it all sound good, and Ian announced that AJ Styles will be at an upcoming show to defend the NWA title. He got a dig in at Jeff Jarrett while he was at it. That's nice news to hear, I suppose, and it's cool that I got to be there to hear it in some little shitty gym in Highland. This means that IWA will have the IWA title, which is now a contender to the NWA title, and the NWA-Indiana title, which is a contender to the IWA title. That seems a little confusing.

Also in that segment, pre-NWA announcement stuff, was Ian saying that all seventy members of the Havana Pitbulls were unable to make it. It was supposed to be the Pitbulls w/Heenan v. Boz & Bradley w/Carmine DeSpirito, hence the "Meeting of the Minds" name for the show. I was looking forward to the Brain managing again, but it was not to be. Ian rambled and out came Dunn and Marcos, the Ring Crew Express. These guys were a lot of fun at the ROH show in Chicago Ridge so I was happy to see them, though it was going to be impossible to take them seriously against Boz & Bradley. But then, it's impossible to take them seriously at all. They are the Pitbulls' replacement. He said the Pitbulls will be an alternate in the tag tournament, and that CM Punk & Colt Cabana will also be alternates, which got a good reaction.

MURAT BOSPOROUS v. TRIK DAVIS

Bosporous was announced as fighting out of Germany but being Turkish, so I assumed he came over via Chris Hero, which was later confirmed when they showed up together at The Steer, but I'll talk more about the post-show meal at the Steer later on. Davis seems really green and was a bundle of nerves. He was real slow in the beginning of the match but wasn't really messing anything up. Bosporous eventually did an overhead belly-to-belly that worked for me, then went up to the top to shout, "TURKEY SANDWICH!" I'm thinking when you're built like Bosporous, and you're a German suplexing man, it's weird to have such a funny name for a move, but hey. It was a frog splash and it was a beauty. You can't really appreciate just how bouncy IWA's ring is until you see it live because I never really noticed on video, but man oh man I thought that sumbitch was going to collapse a few times. They did some roll-around reversal pin shit in here, which I could seriously never see again and live happily, and Davis ended up winning with a crucifix in about four minutes. Bosporous seemed decent in the short amount of time he had here, and I get why he lost, because more likely than not, he's never coming back, even though the crowd asked him to after it was over.

ANGEL WILLIAMS v. ODB

Angel Williams is Canadian and has long blonde braids and some SERIOUS ghetto ass. I mean off the charts ghetto ass on this broad. ODB uses some Ludacris for music so it's pretty cool to have a spunky woman that reminds me in some ways of Ivory coming out all hyped while a black man yells MOVE, BITCH! The match is pretty basic stuff but I dig that Prazak is trying to get women's wrestling on a roll in IWA, even if that's bound to be a failure. It's not that I have anything against women or women's wrestling, other than that women are born harlots, the lot of them, but women just aren't my thing with wrestling. I like some Molly Holly matches and I've seen some Japanese ladies do some pretty wicked shit to each other, but I dunno, they're the ladies, you know? It just doesn't work for me, I guess. ODB was way better, Angel threw some ass terrible punches that in return got her chopped di-rectly into the tits. They got a little sloppy as I think Angel might have gassed, but she won with a flatliner in seven minutes. This was okay and though it is hardly the world's most attractive ass, Angel's ass for a white girl is really something to behold in person. In case they ever read this, somehow, I'd like to mention that during intermission, they both seemed like very, very nice people.

FRANKIE THE FACE v. CHAD COLLYER

I was all about seeing me some more Collyer because I think I love him. Frankie the Face is this guy that threw the friend I went to this show with out of a battle royal some years ago, and apparently he really loves G.I. Joes. That's cool, I like G.I. Joes, but Frankie the Face sucks a dick and how. He was, I think, one of the worst guys on this show. His offense seemed non-existant and he was just nowhere near Collyer's level, so at the time where I was trying to really dig this awesome Dean Malenko clone that comes out to "Hair of the Dog," I was sitting there thinking that Frankie the Face fucking sucks and his ring attire is brutal. How many anarchists needed to be on this show? Collyer did a good job playing up that he knew he was better than punk ass Frankie the Face, I thought, kinda toying with him in a way while at the same time being the serious technical wizard man of the mat game. Collyer won with the Texas cloverleaf and I was joyed. Yay! The match was 10 minutes and seemed like 20 because so much of it was Frankie on offense.

THE WILDCARDS v. ICARUS & JIGSAW v. NATE WEBB & EDDIE VENOM v. IAN ROTTEN & STEVE STONE

I've always kinda dug Steve Stone because the first time I saw him, I thought, "This guy's gonna suck, but that's a badass Danzig jacket." And then it turns out he was pretty good. And judging by this match, he's gotten even better. There are certainly worse things for Ian to be doing on this show than being in a four-way tag, and I've grown a soft spot for non-deathmatch Ian over time too. Wildcards were out first and were pretty funny, Icarus and Jigsaw were out second, being very small in comparison, but the Wildcards ran away from them anyway. Webb & Venom came out and I never quite appreciated how much goddamn fun Nate Webb is with "Teenage Dirtbag" until I experienced it in person for my very own self. He was mad over, and Eddie Venom being a big, intimidating-looking dude being a goofball with Spyder Nate Webb was a neat dynamic. Everyone being scared to death of Ian and Stone was pretty cool, since you'd had two goofy comedy teams come out, followed by Webb out to have a dance party with his partner, Icarus and Jigsaw, and then these two dudes that don't fuck around come out and no one wants anything to do with them. There was a lot of stalling with the Wildcards being terrified of everybody, then the match started. Poor, poor Icarus really took a beating in this match, getting some disgusting chops from Steve Stone, who I love like I love Devito now. If Steve Stone teams up with Devito then tag team wrestling will be reborn. The Wildcards did some cute comedy stuff, Jigsaw was fast, and Nate Webb and Eddie Venom had their moments. The match ended up a big-ass ECW mess eventually, which was bound to happen, I do suppose. I think it was Jigsaw that got pinned on something or other from somebody. I dunno, eventually I got numb to all the moves-moves-moves stuff, since I don't see it so much anymore that it's gone back to being something that just drowns in my mind as I see it happening. There was one cute spot where everybody had somebody in a submission hold extending from the Rotten/Stone corner onto the floor. Nate Webb took a scary dive to the floor, too, and Eddie Venom followed and bloodied his nose all up. After Icarus & Jigsaw were out, Venom got pinned after something got confused, and that meant that Ian and Stone and the Wildcards would move on to the 5/29 tag tournament in Highland. I like that the Wildcards did almost nothing in this match but be total pussies and they'll advance anyway. Holla at ya boyz! Ian got Dave Prazak to make Ian/Stone v. Wildcards for the first round. He also gave the referee some shit.

And then he brought out THE BRAIN. It is truly something to be in the presence of someone that I so greatly appreciate. Plus the venue. I mean, I've been in the same building as Bob Dylan, but that motherfucker was way away up on a stage, looking down at the foolish fake hippies and middle-aged businessmen in attendance, fumbling about on a keyboard to marvelous results. But here was Bobby Heenan, a legend, in Highland, Indiana, in a tiny gym, standing in a duct-taped ring no more than 25 feet from me. That's pretty rad. Heenan got chants and cheers and all kindsa shit. Right when he was about to talk, one of the dudes in the front row said "Weasel," so Heenan turned and invited him into the ring if he had something to say. I think really the dude just picked a bad time to do it, and Heenan decided to shit on him for it. "This isn't a gay bar." Bahaha. You got served indeed. The one time I haven't hated that chant. Heenan talked about going from MSG to Highland, and said all the great stuff about how this is where it all starts, and if it weren't for fans like us, nobody would be there. Bobby Heenan could walk right up to my face, call me a faggot and spit on my shoes, and you know what, he's Bobby Heenan and I love that man. Ian asked him to do color commentary on one match, and Bobby agreed to do it. You know what? Dave Prazak and Bobby Heenan is the best team in the land.

DANNY DANIELS v. JIMMY JACOBS

Daniels seemed way less jumpy here than at ROH, and Jacobs wasn't as over here as he was at ROH. But then you know what, this crowd sucked hard. They didn't seem to care, and they didn't seem to just be being quiet and appreciating. They just didn't seem to care about any of it, and from what I gathered listening to peoples' conversations (yeah, I eavesdrop, what of it), most people really weren't enjoying the show. To be honest, this show could have sucked and Heenan made it worth my $15 just by bothering to show up. Daniels was in control most of this match and if Jim Fannin knows that his suit is bad, he's a genius, because he probably had the most heel heat of the night based on that awful suit. Daniels worked Jacobs' back most of the way but Jacobs got in the part where he hurts the other guy's hand so the guy holds his hand out and then Jacobs mimics and husses. That works for me every time. What ended up bothering me was Jacobs taking all this punishment to the back region, and then going up top for some cannonball senton thing, and it's like, what? I dunno, his selling seemed off, and I'm not really one to be all about such things, but it did bother me, partly because I really dig Jimmy Jacobs and it sorta disappointed me. This match was only kind of okay, though Daniels looked like the Daniels I'm more familiar with and less like the shitty Daniels of ROH. Jacobs got control of the match back toward the end, but Fannin threw Daniels a chain, which he eventually used to KO Jacobs, then tombstoned him for the win.

Intermission came at a fine time, I reckon. These shows are damn sure some long shows, that's for sure. I was going to meet the Brain and get his handwriting on paper for 20 bones, but that's a bit steep for me. I would have rather just shook the man's hand, but I didn't want to stand in line just to do that. I did shake Chad Collyer's hand and attempt to express to him just how much he means to me, and how someday, I'm going to marry him, and he was just like, "It's wrestling, man." Goddamn right, Chad Collyer. YOU'RE wrestling, man.

Carmine DeSpirito, Ryan Boz and Brad Bradley ended intermission by coming out to talk, and Carmine invited the Brain into the ring. You got the impression that Carmine was being smarmy and was going to cheapshot the Brain, but that didn't happen, and all that really happened was the Brain ended up going to dinner with Carmine. This was so great as Ian stood there pouty, shocked and shit, playing the role of the loyal girlfriend that had helped out during the hard times when her boyfriend didn't have a job and shit just wasn't going his way, but now that he's got a little cash in his pocket, he's off with some tramp. And he's not mad because he's too destroyed emotionally to be mad, but you know what? It hurts. And he wants the Brain to stay. But the Brain's gotta go, Ian. He just can't stay here anymore. And so off they went.

ARIK CANNON v. SAMOA JOE

This was a lot like Joe/Stryker from ROH as there was never, ever a point where Joe showed any real vunerability, and more or less murdered Arik Cannon with lots of chops and kicks and face slaps. Joe's entire offense is him punking bitches out and making them look like pussies, while he just stands there getting chopped to no effect, so he smacks them in the face some more, then takes them to the floor - OLE OLE OLE!!! That's fun and all, the ole stuff, but I dunno, Samoa Joe matches aren't doing much for me with him just squashing the other guy. It's turning him into Taz. The thirty seconds or so of this match that Joe sold for Cannon made those 30 seconds really interesting, so it's not like I think Joe sucks, just that he's gotten this rep as such a killer that there's not much he can do about it anymore, because that's all anyone expects of him. The beast will eat you alive, Samoa Joe. Fight the beast. Joe won with an enzuigiri in about 10. I think Colt Cabana t-shirt guy might confuse anarchism with atheism but maybe that's just something I'm not up on. Post-match Samoa Joe said he was coming for Chris Hero, and if you give me that match in Highland or Hammond then I'VE GOT A BONER.

NIGEL MCGUINNESS v. PETEY WILLIAMS

Oh my goodness, did this match suck. Well, I thought it sucked. McGuinness seemed impervious to the sharpshooter, as he was put into it two or three times and it seemed to not bother him much at all once he reached the ropes. He also has no offense besides that dancing shit where he's not DOING anything, and this match got old quick. I wasn't liking this one at all. This 14 minutes felt like 30. And I mean a dull ass 30. Petey Williams was the crowd favorite and some dudes thought he was "God," but I didn't really agree. I don't want to remember this match. It was so dead to me that I wandered off and nearly dozed off before the crowd popped for the finish. So I missed the one thing in this match that got Soup Ladle and crew off their asses.

RING CREW EXPRESS v. BRAD BRADLEY & RYAN BOZ

The stip here was that if Bradley & Boz lost, they had to disband their tag team. The Pitbulls might've seemed somewhat credible as a threat with that, but Dunn and Marcos just didn't seem too realistic. This was fun, I did go to the john after a couple minutes and missed a little. I ran into Chad Collyer coming out of the john and wanted to again express my love for him, but I held off. I'm way taller than him. I caught the finish here but don't remember it, though I remember it looking pretty fucking awesome. I wasn't in my seat for it because I didn't want to be one of the pricks walking right in front of everyone during a match. Hell, if I had, they'd have missed the finish, so who's got great etiquette? Why, it's me. Bradley and Boz seemed pretty good from what I caught, but RCE + athletic big guys is bound to make for some fun, so who knows. I do know Bradley has filled out his frame a lot since the last time I saw him.

IWA-MS LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - AMAZING RED (challenger) v. MATT SYDAL (champion)

I do not enjoy the Red so much and Sydal left no real impression on me from ROH. This match was a lot like the McGuinness/Williams match but with Amazing Red doing all his shit and I didn't like this match either. Very ECW again, which I guess is the direction Ian is going to head in since they're trying their best to shake the "deathmatch" tag, as he put it. That seems odd to me, because they've put on some badass wrestling matches over their time, better than the stuff tonight, and this was when Mad Man Pondo and Necro Butcher and all those crazy fucks were on every damn show. I don't even remember much about this match, but they did flub the finish once before getting it right a couple minutes later, with Sydal hitting a Styles clash kind of thing for the pin.

HOMICIDE v. CHRIS HERO

Well, like four hours in, this was the match I came to see. Homicide is someone I'm really liking, and I just love Chris Hero. He is all that's right in the world. Him and Chad Collyer. If they would wrestle, I would go ahead and die, it won't get better than that for me. Or Hero/Danielson or Danielson/Collyer or whatever. Anyway, this match lived up to the self-hype I'd given it, so that was cool. Homicide does a lot of cool little shit that a ton of guys don't do, just in terms of interacting with the crowd and giving himself an actual air of unpredictability. He was more toned down here than at ROH, but still, he had it. Hero is just great. Some of the IWA fans seem to be turning on him, which I guess was going to happen eventually. He looked like he was in really, really good shape and I liked his pants. Better than the old t-shirt and track pants. Homicide looked under the ring for a weapon early but didn't find one, which didn't go anywhere. Hero took a good beating for a while before his RAGE!!!! came to the surface and he began to give back the punishment in a big way. Homicide hit a diamond cutter off the top rope, and Hero came back with some diamond cutter-into-neckbreaker thing from the top which I forget the name of, but that doesn't matter anyway. Another cool thing was early on, Hero hit a demon stomp, and once Homicide was in control of the match for a while, he gave one back. I love that shit. I love Homicide. I love Chris Hero. I really liked this match. The finish was scary as Homicide hit the Cop Killa and Hero seemed to legitimately be knocked a little loopy, and they had to help him out of the ring. He seemed fine at The Steer, and they both got deserved ovations. At a little over 20, this match was shorter than I figured it was gonna be, and honestly they could've gone longer and I'd have been cool. This match hooked me back in after I'd gotten tired and cranky, so that's good. If this match had sucked, I was going to leave, because the main event was nothing I was clamoring to see.

Ian was out and talked some more and shared a lovely moment with Dave Prazak.

IWA-MS HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - B-BOY (challenger) v. BJ WHITMER (champion)

I have seen both of these dudes plenty and never liked either one of them all that much, but I kind of really don't like Whitmer at all, so I was all about B-Boy here, even though I knew that wasn't happening. That seemed to be the overwhelming sentiment of the crowd too. I dunno, people seem to actually hate Whitmer, which would be cool if these crowds weren't full of smart marks that really only boo anything if it's something they honestly don't want to be seeing, and Whitmer doesn't seem high on anyone's list of dudes they want to see. If this match is any indication, it's easy to gather why. He stunk here and the star of the match was Homicide in B-Boy's corner getting the crowd riled up without saying a word. He sat in a chair that was given to him by a fan, then later passed that chair on to B-Boy to smash Whitmer's face with. Whitmer bled and I kinda got an appreciation for what he does. I think he knows people don't like him, so he's going to be a bastard about it, and you can't ask much more from a heel champion than that. I mean, at the end of the day, through whatever reasoning, these fans DID want to see him have his ass beaten, and that's what it's about as a heel champ, right? So I guess he's succeeded. I just don't like his Benoit-style offense because it's not what he looks like. It just always seems forced, even though the shit he hits is largely good-looking. His forearms are really sucking though. They got a couple of hot false finishes out of this and then Whitmer hit the top rope t-bone suplex for the pinfall. Soup Ladle went home disappointed.

We headed on out and stopped at The Steer, a 24-hour diner, to eat our post-show meal and talk post-show shit. Nice joint. I look over, and Carmine DeSpirito has arrived. A few minutes later, Brad Bradley, Ryan Boz and Danny Daniels make their way in. Following, maybe in order: Jimmy Jacobs, Trik Davis, Jim Fannin, Frankie the Face, Homicide & B-Boy, Samoa Joe, Chris Hero & Murat Bosporous. The poor waitress in that section didn't seem to know what hit her. At first I was going to say something to Carmine, and then maybe to the first three, but then they're ALL there, and what am I going to do? Be like, "Hey! Everybody! I enjoyed the show! Thanks for coming out! Later, dudes!" As we left I walked through a Hero/Bosporous conversation because I had no other way of exit. I excused myself. Yeah - etiquette.

This was a worthwhile show but I wouldn't be going around calling it good. There was only one match here I'd really want to see on tape, but I figure I'll get the tape just because I was there, and also because it has Prazak and Heenan calling a Jimmy Jacobs match. I mean, c'mon. But for $15 in a cozy atmosphere where I miss nothing and everyone tries to give me their best, I can dig it. I'll go back for the tag tournament on the 29th and if that's even okay, I'll go back even more, and I'll dine with wrestlers and see if I can't bed that saucy little number from the Miner-Dunn.

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