1/2WWE WrestleMania XX - 03.14.04
by Scott Christ
Okay, I know I made a few glaring errors in my WM preview, but forgive me, I wrote it at like 6am one day. For instance, I forgot Big Show v. Cena (summary: Cena will win), I fudged on the WM appearances of Shawn Michaels (this will be No. 11), Dudley Boyz (4), RVD (3) and Booker T (3). And at the end, I forgot Matt Hardy, but I think I tend to forget Matt Hardy a lot, and I *like* Matt Hardy.
I have been talking about this show for a year and I went in more nervous about it than any show ever. For one, I'm plunking down $50 here. I don't necessarily mind that, but I would sure like to get a great show out of it. And past that, there's just so much they can do right here that I fear they'll do wrong. And of course the Lesnar issue.
And now it's here, and I don't know what to expect or think. I've been looking forward to this show for a year. This very show is the reason I kept watching for a year. Will the next WrestleMania be enough for me to do the same? Well, yes, because I'm a nerd and I love this shit. But this is something special.
--Live on March 14, 2004 (happy 22nd birthday to me!) from Madison Square Garden in New York City.
--Here to sing "America the Beautiful" is the world-renowned BOYS CHOIR OF HARLEM. They do a great job.
--Vince walks into a dark room. "Twenty years ago, one man had a vision. It began here, and it would change our world. ("Welcome to WrestleMania!") As the vision grew, we cheered it on. ("I never thought it could be done, Gorilla!") Stood in awe. ("The irresistible force meeting the immovable object!") Held onto our seats. ("History has been made!") And gave up our hearts. ("The boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels!") We watched with utter disbelief. ("No he won't do the s--" "I can't believe my eyes!") Stunned silence. ("The Austin era has begun!") And sheer amazement. ("Oh my God!") But above all, we've been inspired, and enriched by the vision. ("Welcome to WrestleMania!")"
(Shawn Michaels)
Eddie Guerrero: "Sometimes, things are so special in your life, that words
cannot explain."
Brock Lesnar: "The history alone in that place makes Madison Square Garden
special."
(Mick Foley)
The Rock: "My family's gonna come there, my wife, my mom, my dad, my
daughter."
John Cena: "Everything that I've ever wanted out of life comes down to this
one day, this one short period of time."
(Ric Flair)
(Triple H)
Chris Benoit: "My passion, the thing you dream about, and consumes
you."
Kurt Angle: "People are gonna remember this forever."
Mick Foley: "People will say, you know, that match was worth coming back
for."
Big Show: "You haven't lived, you haven't breathed, until you've danced at
WrestleMania."
(Triple H)
"Tonight will be like no other. Tonight is the showcase of the immortals. They will achieve the impossible, and forge new beginnings. Tonight, men will hunt down their dreams. Tonight, no one holds back. Tonight is where it all begins...again." (Close with Vince, Shane and Baby Shane)
--Raw, Smackdown and Snickers Cruncher presents WrestleMania XX: Where It All Begins...Again.
--Raw commentary by JIM ROSS and JERRY LAWLER. JR is fired up, King is in a suit and looking classy. Spanish commentary by HUGO SAVINOVICH and CARLOS CABRERA. Smackdown commentary by MICHAEL COLE y TAZZ.
--The set is really great, a scaled-down version of what they might do at a stadium WrestleMania with three video screens and then more on the floor on top of the ramp. JOHN CENA is out in a Patrick Ewing jersey, looking genuinely excited to be here. Cole calls him Smackdown's fastest-rising star. "Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah, we gonna kick this off right tonight. When I ask y'all if y'all're ready to represent, everybody in the building gonna say 'damn straight.' Now is WrestleMania here to represent? ("Damn straight!") Then let me hear everybody make some noise! ("some noise!"; big Cena chant) You got the franchise playa on the Super Bowl stage. So get that gorilla Big Show out of his cage. Ain't no way that I'ma lose to that King Kong rip-off. That's like Gary Coleman beatin' Patrick Ewing in a tip-off. Big Show's really a ape with opposable thumbs. And he stuffs his singlet, looks like he's smugglin' plums. Yo, everybody knows that he can't see me. I'm itchin' to beat him, like a penis with a STD. I'm not even wrestlin' the Big Show, this whole thing's a charade! My match is with the hippo float from the Macy's parade. So it's time to get a championship to match these custom knux. Madison Square, chant it loud, baby! Big Show sucks! ("Big Show sucks!")"
--WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - JOHN CENA (challenger, 248, West
Newbury, MA) v. THE BIG SHOW (champion, 500, homeless): Tazz can't remember
an athlete more dominating than Big Show since the Rumble. This is Cena's
WrestleMania debut, and Big Show's fifth. The usual MSG entrance is blocked off
with a video screen that has a match graphic on it, which is a cool feature. Big
Show overpowers Cena to start and tosses him to the floor. We go over Big Show's
MSG history: beating the Rock, beating Brock Lesnar, retiring Hulk Hogan. Cena
off the top with a crossbody, caught and slammed, cover, 2. Show is all over
him. Big "let's go Cena" chant. Show with a chop, Cena fires back with
rights. Off the ropes, Cena runs into a clothesline. "Big Show sucks"
chant. Scoop aaand a slam from Big Show. Show with the boot choke. Vertical
suplex on Cena, cover, 2. Twooooo. HEADBUTT. Big Show has a typewriter-like head
and a frying pan-like right hand. Show steps on Cena's back. Big Show is totally
dominating. Cena fires off some rights, off the ropes, this time he runs into a
boot. Next time Cena has the idea to punch and then hit the ropes, he might want
to rethink it. Big Show with his legdrop thing, another two count. Show is
getting frustrated, crowd is chanting for Cena again. They are hot. Show goes
for a slam, Cena hooks a sleeper. Big Show backs him into the corner quickly. Oh
fuck, Big Show gets a cobra clutch. Big Show RULES. Cena with shots to the ribs,
Show just throws him down. Back to the cobra clutch, Cena on the mat this time.
Cena fights out and just starts throwing haymakers to finally get some offense
in. Corner whip reversed, Show runs into double boots. Back in again, this time
Cena dropkicks the knees. FU hits! Cover, 2, NO! Cena is SHOCKED. And somewhat
frightened, it would appear. Cena grabs his chain, tells Jimmy Korderis that he
can't see him, and then throws the chain. Korderis fetches it - allowing Cena to
grab the knux. WHAM! FU #2! Cover - 1, 2, 3! New U.S champion! (09'12")
This worked because Cena got the belt and Big Show remains strong. Cheating
doesn't hurt Cena at all either, he's a dick. Good choice for an opener just to
get the crowd rolling, but the match kinda crappy aside from Show's cobra
clutch. Cena gets a proper celebration.
1/2
--Backstage, THE COACH is WALKING! Coach runs across DR. TOM PRITCHARD and JOHNNY STAMBOLI. What an odd couple. Coach then exchanges pleasantries with THEODORE R. LONG. Coach enters the office of ERIC BISCHOFF, and there's JOHNNY SPADE, too. Eric wants Coach to go find Undertaker. Coach isn't comfortable with the idea, but Eric insists.
--EVOLUTION (minus HHH) are looking dapper in suits in this terrible vignette that shows highlights of Randy Orton's domination over Mick Foley. I only like the part where he spins Foley snapping and killing him into him just spitting on him.
--WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP FATAL FOUR-WAY MATCH - LA RESISTANCE
(challengers, combined 524, Paris, France) v. GARRISON CADE & MARK JINDRAK
(challengers, combined 532) v. THE DUDLEY BOYZ (combined 543, New York, NY) v.
BOOKER T & ROB VAN DAM (champions, combined 495): God, that RVD/Booker music
is so bad. RVD starts with Rene Dupree. Dupree backs Van Dam into the La
Resistance corner and hits a knee. Corner running stuff and Van Dam gets a
shoulderblock and monkey flip. Tag to Booker, RVD catapults Dupree into a
sidekick from Booker. Cover, 2. Booker nails him with the flying burrito, Rob
Conway comes in and gets dumped. Dupree tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley, and this
actually feels kind of fresh, face-face and all. Bubba goes to town with
forearms as the crowd wants tables. Neckbreaker from Bubba, 2. Booker with a
chop, Bubba hits him with a back elbow. Flip flop n' fly gets Bubba kicked in
the face on the crotch grab. D-Von sneaks in with the referee distracted to
plant Booker with an inverted DDT, RVD flies in on D-Von, and it settles into
Mark Jindrak and Booker. Bubba breaks a pin. Jindrak tags out to Cade. King
calls JR fat. Dupree makes a blind tag on Cade and beats Booker down in his
corner. Tag to Conway. You know, Dupree has improved a ton. Snapmare and Conway
posts his knee in Booker's spine. Conway: "USA my ass!" Out of that,
but Booker is put down and we go back to it. Booker fights up and I realize now
that Booker has been in for most of this match. 2001 Main Event Spinebuster!
Crowd wants RVD. RVD gets the tag and cuts Conway off. RVD is cleaning house.
Spin kick for Conway, RVD heads up top, and D-Von shoves Van Dam to the floor.
Booker and D-Von fight it out, Bubba blindsides Booker and they set for 3D -
Cade breaks it up and Booker just eats mat. Conway with a DDT on D-Von and now
he's on Booker. Conway off the ropes, boot to THE DICK, scissor kick. RVD up -
five star frog splash! 1, 2, 3. (07'50") It certainly could've been better.
--Backstage, Coach looks for Undertaker. See, there've been crazy, freakish noises. A crew member points Coach to a door where clearly some hanky-panky is going on. Out steps MEAN GENE with lipstick on his head. Gene's been checking out the pipes. Out steps BOBBY THE BRAIN HEENAN. God I love the Brain. They were playing cards! Coach wants to know what was going on. Out step FABULOUS MOOLAH and MAE YOUNG. Gene and Moolah are having a fine time, but the Brain seems uncomfortable with Mae. Who can blame him.
--Video package.
--CHRISTIAN (225, Toronto, Ontario, Canada) v. CHRIS JERICHO (227, Winnipeg,
Manitoba, Canada): Lawler tried to tell Jericho from the get-go that women and
wrestling just don't mix. Amen, brother. Hey, it's Tim White! Nice to see Tim
White. Nose-to-nose, collar-and-elbow, break, collar-and-elbow, jockeying for
position. White breaks them up in the corner, Christian shoves Jericho, Jericho
STICKS Christian with a right. Goddamn. Back suplex by Jericho, stomp, chop, off
the ropes, Jericho holds the ropes on a Christian leapfrog attempt, clothesline
puts Christian down. Jericho gets dumped but lands on the turnbuckle, then
backdrops Christian to the floor. Big "Y2J" chant. Jericho hits the
springboard crossbody to the floor, then throws Christian into the security
wall. AIRHORN! Inside, Jericho goes for the walls and Christian gets the ropes.
Thumb to the eye, back suplex throw to the floor. Outside, Christian takes over.
Back in and Christian stands on Jericho's neck on the bottom rope. Christian is
hyped up and laying in with rights. Choke on the mat. Jericho with rights and a
chop, whip is reversed, Christian hits a kneelift. Cover, 2. Christian works the
neck. Christian gets another near-fall. More choking on the ropes. Christian
hasn't gotten to go on offense for so long that he's forgotten what to do.
Christian works the neck some more. Jericho goes for the walls again, Christian
rakes the eyes and hits the Owen Hart spinning heel kick. Cover, 2. Head-to-head
collision out of a corner whip, both men down. Trade of rights, Jericho hits a
forearm smash off the ropes. Drop toe-hold puts Christian on the middle rope -
running rope-assisted Mike Enos! Big Show did a Mike Enos earlier that I missed
recapping and just now remembered. It was awesome. Jericho kicks up in the
corner, gets a roll-up, 2, Christian counters and grabs the ropes, 2. Northern
lights suplex from Jericho, 2. Back down, 2. Christian bridges up. Jericho with
that terrible bulldog that Christian takes on top of his head, lionsault - knees
up by Christian. Christian tries for the unprettier, shoved to the corner,
Jericho runs into an elbow. Tornado inverted DDT, cover, 2. Jericho with the
sleeper drop, off the ropes, Christian with the inverted DDT backbreaker.
Christian up top and Jericho cuts him off - Christian blocks the superplex and
throws him off. Christian with the flying crossbody, Jericho rolls through, 2.
Jericho hammering away in the corner. Christian goes to the bad knee. CHRISTIAN
WITH THE TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! YES! YES! Jericho grabs the foot to turn it over
(boo), and now he's got the walls. Christian gets the ropes quickly. Jericho
holds onto it, and they roll to the floor with the hold on. That's great. I love
it. Up top for a superplex, they fall, and the crowd starts the disgusting
"you fucked up" chant. Shut up you fags. Back up and the butterfly
superplex hits. Both men down. Christian covers, 2. Out runs TRISH STRATUS.
Christian goes back to his Brood roots with the implant DDT, cover, 2. Cover, 2.
Christian is frustrated. Trish is on the apron, Christian grabs her and drags
her into the ring, then throws her into the corner. Jericho dumps Christian,
Trish hits Jericho by accident, Christian rolls Jericho up and grabs the tights,
1, 2, 3! (14'50") Trish tries to apologize, and it looks like we'll get the
happy ending anyway. Aha. Ahahaha. TRISH SMACKS JERICHO! AND AGAIN! UNPRETTIER
FROM CHRISTIAN! Yeah baby yeah! MSG reacts great to it. Boy Trish is hot when
she's evil. Sure, it doesn't make much sense. Whatever. Christian and Trish kiss
on the ramp. Real good match.
1/2
--Monday Night War spot.
--LILIAN GARCIA is backstage with MICK FOLEY. "Lilian, it's more than just my first match in four years. It's WrestleMania. It's Madison Square Garden. It's the biggest night in the history of our sport, fans have flocked from around the world to be here, so when you ask, am I overcome with emotion, yeah. I just hope that the hatred I have for Evolution doesn't overcome me, and get in the way of the plans that The Rock and I have made--" THE ROCK is here. "W-w-w-whoa-whoa-whoa, Mick FOLEY! Mick Foley, you talk about the emotion, you gotta let the emotion GO - let it GO. 'Cause Mick Foley, the Rock hasn't said this in a long time, but FINALLY - THE ROCK - HAS COME BACK - TO NEW YORK CITY! That's what I'm talkin' about, Mick Foley, and the Rock says this - FINALLY - MICK FOLEY - HAS COME - HOME. Mick Fo-- hey, Lilian, don't no no no, what're you, don't look at the people's package, Lilian, no no no, the buffet is CLOSED. You see Mick Foley, this is your night - this is your night. The Rock knows it, Lilian knows it, hell, the camera crew knows it. Let the Rock show you, c'mere, come around the corner. Oh look we got - we got the Hamburglar and Grimace - they know it! They know it! Put the hamburger away! Try the chicken McNuggets ya fat sumbitch! Look at this right here - we got two legends, the Superfly Jimmy Snuka, Don Muraco - they know it! They know it! Follow the Rock, you see, Mick Foley, you see, and and and above all else - the PEOPLE know it. No no no no no, the Rock said we are live, New York City - the PEOPLE KNOW IT! ("yay!") And it's not good enougn, Mick Foley, to hear the people, we're gonna SEE the people. Follow the Rock!" Rock opens up a door and we see the people. "Get a shot of the millions! Come right back, you come right back, you see, Mick Foley, it's our night - it's our night! Let's go out there and electrify, as only you and the Rock can. Let's go out there, slap the looks off those Evolution sons of bitches, whoop their candy asses, IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLL - WHAT THE ROCK" "And Sock!" "IS COOKIN'"
--3-ON-2 HANDICAP MATCH - RIC FLAIR, BATISTA & RANDY ORTON (WWE
Intercontinental champion) (combined 792) v. MICK FOLEY (270, Long Island, NY)
& THE ROCK (275, Miami, FL): Oh man oh man the Rock is going to electrify.
All-out brawl to start, Rock n' Sock clean house in short order. Rock and Flair
are in the ring and Flair is ready to go. Rock is ready to go. I'm ready to go.
Collar-and-elbow, side headlock from Rock. Down goes Flair, Rock struts. Flair
up - WHOO! Collar-and-elbow, "Rocky" chants erupt, Flair with a chop
in the corner, Rock turns it around and lands some rights. Backdrop by Rock,
Flair bails, Rock follows, Flair thumbs him in the eye. Baha. Rock with a
backdrop on the floor (goddamn, Flair) - CACTUS ELBOW! BANG BANG!
"Foley" chants. Flair tags Orton in, Foley wants the tag. And he gets
it. Orton bails, Foley follows, Foley works him over. Clothesline on the floor.
Inside, Foley hits an elbowdrop, cover, 2. Ross says Foley is at 285, either way
he looks thin for Foley. Orton in the tree of woe, tag to Rock, Foley hits the
axhandle to Orton's face, and Rock punches the shit out of Orton's balls. Hahaha.
Rock telegraphs a backdrop but clotheslines Orton. Flair cheapshots Rock - WHOO!
- and Rock punches him off the apron. Shot to Batista too. Orton whips Rock in,
Batista pulls the ropes down. On the floor, Batista drops Rock on the security
wall. Back in. Rock and Batista in the ring, Batista with a back elbow, 2. Tag
to Flair, MSG loves him. Rock tries to tag, Flair cuts him off - "I don't
think so, motherfucker! I got you now!" God I love Ric fucking Flair. Flair
lights Rock up in the corner with chops. WHOO! Chop! Strut! Rock comes out of
the corner with a clothesline and gets booed. Flair up top, Lawler begs him not
to do it. Good advice, Rock slams him off. Tag to Batista, shoulderblocks in the
corner. Corner whip, Rock comes out with another clothesline. Tag to Foley, kick
to the gut, off the ropes, kneelift, Evolution bails off the apron, Batista
powers Foley into the corner. Foley fights back and turns him around. Foley with
the corner beatdown. BANG BANG! He looks for the running knee but Batista
clotheslines him down. Foley dumped to the floor, Orton sneaks in but Foley
chokes him. Flair comes from behind. Foley takes the knee bump into the steps,
the crazy bastard. Back in, Orton covers, 2. Tag to Flair, chop, strut. Flair is
feelin' it. Chop! Right! Foley fires back, trading rights now, Foley wins that
fight. Foley needs the tag, but Flair holds the ankle and tags to Orton. Orton
with his god awful camel clutch. Mike Enos from Orton! More shitty camel clutch.
Tag to Batista. Flair whoos from the apron for fun. Batista dominates Foley.
Mandible claw! Batista calls for help and Orton gets in to break it up. Tag to
Flair. Chop! More right trading, Flair goes to the eyes. Into the Evolution
corner, tag back to Batista. Off the ropes, Foley hits a swinging neckbreaker.
Rock is ready to go. Both men up, both men back down on a double clothesline.
Batista tags to Flair. Tag to Rock! Rock fires on Flair, off the ropes, flying
burrito. Orton in - DDT! Rock FLINGS Batista into the ring, tosses Orton out,
spinebuster from Batista on Rock. Flair calls Batista off and begs to take it.
Oh my god. Oh my GOD. OH MY GOD - RIC FLAIR PEOPLE'S ELBOW MOTHERFUCKER! Strut,
off the ropes, strut, jump, strut, Rock kips up, people boo. Rock with rights on
Flair. Rights for Batista, DDT on Batista. Spinebuster on Flair. Here we go -
PEOPLE'S ELBOW HITS! Rock adds a strut for good measure. Cover - 1, 2, shoulder
up! Flair thumbs Rock's eye again. Man Flair is all about it tonight. Orton and
Rock in, Orton tries for the RKO, shoved off, ROCK BOTTOM! Cover, Flair pulls
Rock to the floor. Flair loses his mind and gets a chair but Mike Chioda stops
that. Batista power bombs Rock in the ring, Orton covers Rock - 1, 2, shoulder
up. Rock tags Foley, Orton is afraid. Foley cleans house now. Double-arm DDT on
Orton! Socko! Foley reaches out for it - RKO!!! 1, 2, 3! (17'01") What a
well laid-out match. Foley can't believe it. Randy Orton is a star. God bless
Mick Foley and The Rock. God bless Ric Flair. Way better than I expected here,
and super entertaining. Rock is disappointed, but claps for Foley and these two
get a well-deserved ovation.
1/2
--Clips from last night's Hall of Fame ceremony. Hey, Jimmy Hart was there. Ric Flair inducts Harley Race. "God gave me the talent to work in this wrestling business, and there's not a better spot on earth than under those bright lights. Doesn't get a whole hell of a lot better than this." The Brain cries and wishes Monsoon was there. Man now I wanna cry. Manly-like.
--Please welcome Mean Gene, who is here to welcome the HoF class of 2004. Bobby Heenan! Tito Santana! Big John Studd (accepted by his son)! Harley Race! Pete Rose gets booed! Don Muraco! Greg Valentine (WTF with the pop for the Hammer)! Junkyard Dog (accepted by his daughter)! Superstar Billy Graham! Sgt. Slaughter! Jesse Ventura! That's it! Ten minutes killed!
--Stupid Smackdown spot.
--FIRST-EVER PLAYBOY EVENING GOWN MATCH - SABLE & TORRIE WILSON v. MISS JACKIE & STACY KEIBLER: Tazz and Cole have the honor of calling this match. Cole "can't get over the cover of Playboy with them on it!" Boy is he going to discover a whole new world when he opens the thing. The only one of the four that gets any reaction at all is Stacy. Sable wants the mic. "Now I know this is supposed to be an evening gown match, but quite frankly, I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable, and a little restricted. So Torrie and I have decided that we would like to start this match with our gowns off." That explains why it's pinfall or submission. This is stupid. Gay story short, they take off their evening gowns and are in their undawears. Sable is going with a 1992 lingerie look, Stacy with some weak get-up, Torrie in some whites, and Jackie doesn't seem like she wants to do this. And she's going to leave? This is fucking gay. Sable brings Jackie in. Okay, I am not watching this again. Stacy and Torrie do their pin spot in the middle, Torrie rolls Jackie up for the win and then sits there with her ass on Jackie's tits. What a crass match. (02'33") Stacy is mad? Jackie can't act, neither can Stacy, neither can the other two, and it seems like they forgot a really important part of Jackie being mad. Torrie and Sable KISS SO SEXILY ON THE CHEEK.
--Here are foreigners that came to Wrestlemania. Fuck you guys.
--Backstage, EDDIE GUERRERO is WALKING! The following are groups of people standing together: PAUL LONDON & TERRI (hmm), BILLY GUNN & ORLANDO JORDAN & SPIKE DUDLEY (dorks). Eddie enters the lockerroom of one CHRIS BENOIT. Benoit is pacing. "Odelay, Benoit. Sup, homes? Goin' on, vato? Careful, homes, I mean you might, uh, dig your own trench here, the way you're pacing back and forth, ese. I can see you're uh, getting focused, right? I mean, WrestleMania XX, ese vato! It's only the biggest night of the--" "Hey, hey, hey. I know. I know. I know." "That's right, Chris, you do know. I mean, all the years that you put into it. Working out. Time away from your family. Working through the injuries." "Alright, hey - I know." "Chris, c'mere homes. Let me talk to you. Bro, I just want you to know, okay - been like a brother to you. Talking to you like familia, ese vato, I just want you to know, man, that no matter what happens tonight, ese - I'm proud of you, ese. Win or lose! I'm always gonna be proud of you." "Whoa, hey - there's no lose. And don't talk to me like that. Alright?" "Well. I mean. Come on Chris! You're taking on H...BK. Triple H! It's the biggest night of your life, man, the biggest match of your career, homes, I mean, c'mon, vato, nobody really expects you to win, ese! Nobody really...believes in you." "Believes in me? BELIEVES IN ME? I believe in me! I BELIEVE IN ME! I BE--LOOK AT ME! I BELIEVE IN ME! And that's all that damn well matters. I've known you for 12 years - you've never turned your back on me. Huh? What's up with tonight, huh? Tonight is my night - my night, my night! Because I believe! I'm proud of you - you've won your WWE title. Huh? Tonight - is my night. What the hell are you laughing at?" "Odelay, vato! Take it easy, ese! This is what I've been trying to get out of you, homes! This fire! Because this is the Chris Benoit *I* believe! That fire that's in your eyes, man, that's the wolverine that I took on every night in Japan! That's the wolverine that's gonna tear Triple H and HBK apart, and walk out the world heavyweight champion!" "You're damn right! Because after tonight, you will be walking out of Madison Square Garden with the WWE title." "Odelay!" "And *I* will be walking out the new world heavyweight champion." "Yeah!" "That is that." "Odelay, vato! I believe, Chris!" What a great promo.
--FIRST-EVER CRUISERWEIGHT OPEN FOR THE WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP -
CHAVO GUERRERO (champion, with Chavo Guerrero Sr.) v. NUNZIO (challenger,
201.25) v. JAMIE NOBLE (challenger, 200, Hanover, WV) v. AKIO (challenger,
Japan) v. TAJIRI (challenger, Japan) v. FUNAKI (challenger, 208, Japan) v.
SHANNON MOORE (challenger, 207, Raleigh, NC) v. ULTIMO DRAGON (challenger, 185,
Nagoya, Japan) v. BILLY KIDMAN (challenger, 215, Allentown, PA) v. REY MYSTERIO
(challenger, 175, San Diego, CA): Ultimo Dragon and Shannon Moore are starting.
Poor Ultimo Dragon slipped on the entranceway. Standard Moore/Dragon Velocity
start. Couple of quick near-falls. Moore with a back suplex, cover, 2. Dragon
with a kick to the gut, there's that retarded reverse DDT. 1, 2, 3, Moore is
gone. (01'18") Jamie Noble is in. Dragon with the kick combo, cover, 2.
Dragon with a backbreaker, moonsault, Noble moves, Dragon lands on his feet.
Noble hits a reverse neckbreaker. Paydirt. Dragon taps. (02'15") In comes
Funaki. Noble with a small package. 1, 2, 3. (02'24") This sucks bad.
Nunzio is in with his cousin and offers his hand, but Noble isn't having it.
Nunzio with a cradle, 2. Nunzio up top with the thrust dropkick, cover, foot on
the rope. Cover again, 2. Nunzio dumped to the floor and hits hard. Noble up top
- somersault plancha! Noble gets back in. Nunzio doesn't so he's counted out.
Are you fucking kidding me? (04'16") Billy Kidman is in. The crowd is
turning on this and rightly so. Nunzio pulls Noble out, so Kidman decides to get
the shooting star plancha and nearly die for this crap match. "Holy
shit" chants. Back in, Kidman covers, 2. You can't power bomb Jamie Noble!
Noble goes for paydirt, doesn't get it. Kidman with an enzuigiri. Shooting star
isn't happening, Noble is up top with him for a 'rana, but Kidman hits the BK
bomb off the top. 1, 2, 3. (06'07") Rey is in and the buddies are fighting
it out. Dropkick from Kidman, 2. Mysterio with a dropkick, Kidman to the floor.
Akio interferes against Rey, Kidman gets a crappy BK bomb for two. Kidman puts
Rey on the top rope - gutwrench superplex isn't happening, Mysterio hits a
hellacious sunset flip bomb. 1, 2, 3. (07'28") This is total garbage.
Tajiri in with kicks. Tarantula! Tajiri goes for the handspring elbow but gets
dropkicked in the back. 619! Mysterio misses the west coast pop and gets kicked
in the gut. Akio grabs Rey, Tajiri tries the mist, Akio takes it. Rey rolls
Tajiri up, 2, 3. (08'36") Akio isn't even going to get in, but Tajiri gets
a cheapshot in on Rey. Chavo in and covers, 2. Mysterio up top - flying
huracanrana! Chavo Sr. takes a bump from the apron because he's awesome. Tazz:
"Chavo Sr.'s in like, his late thirties." Chavo Sr. takes the
somersault plancha. Mysterio goes for a slingshot sunset flip, Chavo holds on,
cradle, Chavo Sr. helps him out, 2, 3. (10'28") That was a shenanigan.
1/4
--Oh boy. Video package.
--BROCK LESNAR (295, Minneapolis, MN) v. GOLDBERG (283, Atlanta, GA) with
special guest referee STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN: They are all the F over Brock
Lesnar. Mixed reaction for Goldberg. I figured MSG would hate Goldberg anyway.
Brent was right, the weirdness of the whole Lesnar thing here overshadowed the
weirdness of Goldberg at WrestleMania. "Goldberg" chants. Goldberg:
"YEAH! MOTHERFUCK!" Lesnar makes fun of him. "You sold out"
chants, which is pretty fucking stupid. This isn't the fucking ECW Arena, you
idiots. King: "Sellout chant from a sellout crowd." Lesnar steps at
Goldberg a few times and this match is just TOO WEIRD. "Na na na na, na na
na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" chant at Lesnar. Goldberg keeps yelling at
Lesnar, who looks uncomfortable. JR acknowledges the "Lesnar rumors."
Oh man this is intense, they're screaming obscenities at each other and not
touching. Two minutes in. "Austin" chants - close-up on Austin sees
him smile. Hahaha. Goldberg stares at Austin, Lesnar stares at the crowd, Austin
tells them to get moving. Collar-and-elbow and we're underway about 02'40"
in. People boo and chant "boring." Staying in the C&E and they
break at 03'30". Lesnar flexes and laughs, Goldberg smiles. "Lesnar
sucks" chant - I think. Back to a collar-and-elbow, more pushing around.
Break again. "This match sucks" chant. Lesnar with a side headlock,
Goldberg sends him in, collision, no budge. Boos. Staredown, Goldberg off,
collision, no budge. Boos. Another chant that I can't pick up. Both off,
collision, both down. Boos. "Boring" chant. Goldberg doesn't care.
Lesnar with boots to the gut, into the corner, corner whip reversed, Goldberg
grabs a choke and deadlifts him into a military press, then catches him in the
spinebuster after Lesnar seemed to be coming down at a bad angle. Goldberg sets
for the spear - Lesnar moves and Goldberg hits the buckles. To the floor, Lesnar
takes over. "Goldberg sucks" chant. Inside, Lesnar tries two vertical
suplexes, both "blocked" by Goldberg. Lesnar with shots to the ribs,
suplex goes this time, 2. Lesnar traps Goldberg's arm over his head and holds
him. "Hogan" chant. Goldberg powers out of it, Lesnar puts him down
with a clothesline. Back to the hold. Another collision, both down again. It
looked like Goldberg didn't hold his end of the collision up there, so Lesnar
stops selling and covers for two. JR: "A very pedestrian, mat-oriented
contest." What a dick. Pedestrian? This is anything but that. Goldberg with
a couple clotheslines, the crowd is paying attention to a fight. Goldberg with
the overdrive, setting for the spear - spear hits! Cover, 2, shoulder up.
Goldberg thought it was three. Austin and Goldberg go nose-to-nose. Lesnar is up
- F5! Boos. Cover, 2, shoulder up. Lesnar thought it was three. Austin
disagrees. Nose-to-nose with them. Lesnar looks confident and calls for Goldberg
to come back, Lesnar tries a spear (I think), and it misses. If that's how he
tackles he can forget about football. Goldberg with the second spear,
jackhammer, cover, 2, 3. (13'41") What a crazy ass match. It wasn't bad,
really, but it was not what this match could have been. Not even close. The
circumstances surrounding it had the crowd all over it, which doesn't help a
match, but even if this had gone off as planned and they didn't shit on
everything, I don't know what they were going for in that match. The match as a
whole seemed like they were set up to fail no matter what, and there also seemed
to be some ego issues or something with Lesnar and Goldberg not wanting to
really put the other over at any point. And why should they? They're both
leaving. Anyway, this wasn't really a disaster, but I can't think of a better
word, so we'll call it a memorable disaster.
Post-match, Goldberg turns to leave, Lesnar and Austin are in the ring. "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" chant is up again, mixed with "you sold out," the latter of which thankfully gets drowned out. Lesnar is in Austin's face, then looks at the crowd and flips them the fuck off. TELL IT, BROCK. Birds over to Austin - STONE COLD STUNNER! Get the man some beer! Goldberg is back in the ring, Austin is dropping more beer than I've ever seen him drop. Goldberg drops one too, he gets booed. Austin and Goldberg drink beers, Austin gets cheered, Goldberg does not. They toast - STONE COLD STUNNER! You know, I love Austin, but there is no point to this. The symbolic stunnering out of the company is neat in theory, but the man can't wrestle them when they come back, and they will come back. On the other hand, what can you do, and who doesn't love stunners and beers? If you just raised your hand, you're a fag.
--Outside, fireworks galore go off at MSG, causing New York City to freak out and proclaim that they are again under attack. I'm insensitive!
--Staples Center in Los Angeles. WrestleMania 21. Why does LA deserve a fourth WrestleMania?
--Please welcome VINCE MCMAHON, and he stands on the stage with da mic. "The theme of this year's WrestleMania is where it all begins again, but quite frankly (1), without each and every one of you at WrestleMania, it may have never began. So I've come before you tonight to simply say thank you. On behalf of the WWE superstars, both past and present, we thank you. On behalf of the entire WWE organization, we say thank you. On behalf of the McMahon family, thank you - thank you for making WrestleMania what it has become today, thank you for making the WWE what it is, and thank you for making this WrestleMania where it all begins again! Thank you very much!"
--WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP FATAL FOUR-WAY MATCH - THE SELF-PROCLAIMED
WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM (challengers, combined 489) v. THE APA (challengers,
combined 576) v. THE BASHAM BROTHERS (challengers, combined 495, Columbus, OH)
v. RIKISHI & SCOTTY 2 HOTTY (champions, combined 567): Crowd is dead for
this, which I don't think you can necessarily blame all on the previous match.
Bradshaw and Shelton Benjamin start. Shelton runs into a boot right away. Duck
of a second boot, shoulderblock from Bradshaw. Elbowdrop, cover, 2. Doug Basham
with the blind tag on Bradshaw. Doug controls, tag to Danny, back suplex, 2.
Danny off the ropes, Charlie Haas gets a knee in. Shelton tags Haas. Bodyslam by
Shelton onto Charlie's knee, cover, Doug saves. Jawbreaker by Danny, Scotty tags
Danny. Scotty with a shoulderblock, back suplex, kip-up, moonwalk, this is DEAD!
DEAD! DEAD! DEEEEEEEAD! WGTT with the bomb ass double-team top-rope assisted
Mike Enos. Charlie gets a bearhug on Scotty. Scotty punches out, off the ropes,
caught, slide down, cradle but Charlie was tagged by Doug. Doug and Scotty in,
tag to Danny, double-team suplex from the Bashams, double kip-up. Enough
kip-ups. Bashams control Scotty in their corner. Scotty with an enzuigiri, Doug
staggers into his corner and Danny tags in. That was cute. Scotty makes the tag
to Rikishi, Faarooq gets in for the first time to be part of Rikishi cleaning
house. DDT on Danny Basham, cover, Faarooq breaks. Shelton tries a German on
Rikishi, and he gets ass-bumped out. Charlie's down in the corner - thank god
he's breaking it out. STINKYFACE! Bradshaw is in. Doug jumps way early but
Bradshaw is strong enough to catch him and dump him out. Danny gets murdered
with a lariat. Bradshaw sets for one on Rikishi, but gets caught with a Samoan
drop. Sitdown splash on Danny Basham. 1, 2, 3. What. (05'59") This was
useless. Scotty does the worm to little reaction, and they dance to even less.
--EDGE IS COMING
--Jesse Ventura is back out. "Alright, let me say this, what would WrestleMania be, without Jesse the Body coming out and doing an interview with somebody? Just like 20 years ago! Now - where's my man? Who am I looking for out here to interview? Ah-ha. Who is it? It's the star of the No. 1 rated TV show on NBC, 'The Apprentice.' Oh yeah - the host of WrestleMania IV and V, none other than New York's own Donald Trump!" Boos. Donald doesn't have much to say. Jesse thinks that we may need a wrestler in the White House in 2008. Good luck.
--On the ramp, a barber chair and pole and crap is set up. THE BARBER enjoys Jesse's music.
--WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP v. CHALLENGER'S HAIR - MOLLY HOLLY (challenger) v.
VICTORIA (champion): Man Molly looks great. Victoria looks great but disappoints
me and Joe Gagne by not having the ass shorts. Tie-up, these ladies are
attractive. I love them both, but especially Molly. Molly bites Victoria, I
think. Molly with an armwringer takedown, Victoria kips up (ENOUGH!!!!),
roll-up, Molly bails to the floor. Back in, they're doing their usual decent
match. Molly with the basement dropkick, cover, 2. Molly works the neck. Crowd's
dead again. Molly misses an elbowdrop. JR is bored. Or focused on the boobies,
like I am. Victoria with a series of rights, Molly with a kick, Victoria with a
powerslam. JR and King discuss panties. Molly up top, Victoria cuts her off. JR
requests a hot tea. I don't know what's going on. Molly with a shitty sunset
flip bomb for two. Hey! Victoria has GREAT NAILS! Molly tries for the widow's
peak? Victoria backslides her - 1, 2, 3. Ugh. (04'52") Molly does a great
job selling the loss and what it means for her hair. Then she runs away, but
doesn't make it.
Molly suckers Victoria and gets her in the chair, and tries to use the clippers on Victoria. Molly says "shit." Victoria hairsprays Molly and KOs her, straps her into the chair, and gets to shaving.
--Video package and the best one of the night as far as the matches go.
--Oh man, this is no foolin' - the lady ends up bald. And they'll be over there during entrances for this match.
--WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - KURT ANGLE (challenger, 237, Pittsburgh, PA) v.
EDDIE GUERRERO (champion, 228, El Paso, TX): "Eddie" chants right
away. Tie-up, Angle backs him into the corner. Clean break. Tie-up again, Angle
to a front facelock, Eddie powers out, takedown, Guerrero takes the back. Angle
reverses and gets a headlock. Headscissors from Guerrero, break, both up.
Go-behind from Angle, standing switch, Angle brings Guerrero down, side
headlock. Battling chants of "let's go Angle" and "Angle
sucks." Tazz loves that shit as always. Side headlock from Eddie, Angle
into a hammerlock, Eddie sends Angle in, shoulderblock puts Guerrero down.
Headlock again from Eddie. Guerrero controls, Angle takes a powder. Fireman's
carry from Eddie into an armbar, Angle spins out and takes a front facelock.
Near-fall from here, two count. A second near-fall. Guerrero finally powers out,
armdrag, armdrag, armbar, Eddie has taken the advantage. Tazz calls this a
"tremendously-applied keylock," which is...well, debatable on many
fronts. Guerrero up into a top wristlock, off the ropes, Angle puts the knee
into the gut. Abdominal stretch from Angle. This is good stuff. Guerrero with
the vertical, spins the hips, Angle blocks, switch, German suplex! Angle tosses
Eddie to the apron, Eddie's on his feet, and they tease the German from the
apron. Back in, Angle takes over again. Grapevine from Angle, this is a slow and
solid match. Overhead belly-to-belly from Angle who is in complete control and
getting a mixed reaction. Another overhead belly-to-belly. Waistlock from Angle.
A third belly-to-belly, cover, 2. Angle is getting frustrated. Eddie is put up
top, Angle lays in with a right and a chop and another right. Angle sets for the
belly-to-belly superplex, but Eddie HEADBUTTS out. Angle gets up again, Eddie
tosses him off. FROG SPLASH but it misses. Both men down and Angle is up at
three and stalking like a man possessed. Angle stomps away in the corner and
continues just beating on him with hard rights afterward. Eddie keeps getting
up. Eddie WANTS SOME MORE. Eddie BEGS FOR ANOTHER RIGHT. He GETS IT. EDDIE IS UP
AGAIN and here we go. Eddie fires away, sends Angle in, back elbow. Clothesline,
clothesline. Corner whip reversed, Angle misses a charge. Back suplex from
Guerrero. 1, 2, shoulder up. Guerrero rolls him up, 2. Angle with a clothesline,
slowing it back down. Angle stalks - Angle slam is countered into an armdrag.
Guerrero has momentum again, tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Guerrero with a suplex,
rolls the hips, #2, rolls the hips, Angle picks the ankle - ankle lock is on!
Eddie kicks him off. Eddie up top, there's Angle's dumb out-of-nowhere
belly-to-belly. Cover, 2, shoulder up. Ankle lock is on again! Guerrero counters
it with a cradle, 2. Haymaker misses, German suplex by Angle. Angle stalks
again, Angle slam attempt again, Guerrero with a DDT! Tazz is impressed. Me too,
dude. Eddie heads up - FROG SPLASH! 1, 2, NO! Angle plays possum - God bless him
- and gets the ankle lock for a third time. Eddie rolls it and Angle ends up on
the floor. Eddie unties his boot in some great selling. Angle has those cold
eyes again - God I love Kurt Angle - and Eddie sells it and tries to get away.
Angle has the ankle lock again...but Eddie's boot comes off. Small package - 1,
2, 3! (21'30") Gotta love that. Real good match, but less than my
expectations. It didn't disappoint me, though, if that makes sense.
3/4
--Man JR and King got all the interpromotional matches except for Playboy evening gown. THE UNDERTAKER IS DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEEEEAD!
--Kane's entrance is offensive to New York what with the buildings being on fire. This entrance gets its own paragraph since it's all anyone cares about. Lights are out. Oh snap - "OHHH YESSS!" Holy shit is he fat. Big pop for PAUL BEARER. One of the druids catches on fire and they all nearly burn MSG down. BONG. BONG. BONG. BONG. And there he is, looking pretty awesome in my opinion, though the MMA gloves need to go for the old grey ones.
--KANE (320, homeless) v. THE UNDERTAKER (dead): Kane is insistent that
Undertaker isn't real. This is some great sports-entertainment. "Un Der Ta
Ker clap clap clap" chants. Excellent start as Kane won't believe he's
really there, approaches tenatively to touch him, does, and gets destroyed for
it. Undertaker scares Brian Hebner to death. Off the ropes, Undertaker wants the
chokeslam, but Kane holds onto the ropes and gets out of there. Kane catches
Undertaker with a right and takes over on the floor. Undertaker comes back with
the elbow on the apron, and follows with the legdrop. I don't think Undertaker
has ever gotten enough credit for how good of an athlete he is. Corner charge
clothesline, Kane is reeling after another one. Taker sets for the last ride,
gets backdropped, may have been supposed to go out or across the top rope, but
comes up WAY short and has to grab the rope so he doesn't break his neck. Kane
takes over with the mount-and-pummel. "I told you not to come back you son
of a bitch." Hey Kane, that's your mom too. Taker intimidates the referee
again. Well four minutes in and the crowd has stopped caring about this. Kane up
top - flying clothesline hits. Cover, 2, shoulder up. Hard right by Kane,
Undertaker fires back. Kane again. Undertaker again. Kane again. Undertaker
again and he wins the slugfest. Oops, he doesn't, Kane clinches with an
uppercut. Off the ropes, big boot from Undertaker. Legdrop. Hey Hogan he you
know big boot legdrop that's stupid. Crowd is booing something but now they're
paying attention to the ropewalk, which is countered with a catch for the
chokeslam by Kane. First time for everything. Undertaker throws his own grip in.
Undertaker wins it, goes for the chokeslam, Kane elbows out. Kane hits a great
chokeslam and he's got his groove back. Taker is down and everyone's waiting for
it, and it would be great but the cameras miss Undertaker's sit-up. Kane doesn't
know what to do, so he gets punched repeatedly. Kick on a telegraphed backdrop
has no effect, Undertaker ducks a clothesline and hits the jumping lariat.
Undertaker calls for it - shitty chokeslam! He lost his grip halfway up. Crowd
chants for the tombstone, and Undertaker obliges. Arms crossed - 1, 2, 3. (07'46") This match sucked pretty awful bad. It was short and Kane got
killed which is pretty stupid. I didn't want Kane to win (why take away
Undertaker's one memorable stat-type thing?) but I figured there would be the
sense that he might. There never was.
--Video package.
--WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT MATCH - SHAWN MICHAELS
(challenger, 225, San Antonio, TX) v. CHRIS BENOIT (challenger, 229, now
residing in Atlanta, GA - WTF) v. TRIPLE H (champion, 272, Greenwich, CT): HHH
has some white boots that I like a lot although it kind of makes him look like
Lex Luger for a minute. JR said something about this being Michaels' sixth
WrestleMania main event which is the stupidest thing ever. Let's count XI, then
there's XII, XIV...and what. What, JR? Dummy! Underway (I totally almost typed
"underwear") and the faces fight over who gets to punch HHH. Benoit
tries the crossface immediately. Benoit chops Shawn, then whips him into HHH,
who falls to the floor. Michaels slips out of a slam, headscissors from Benoit.
Benoit bridges on a pin attempt, goes for a backslide, and Benoit tries for the
crossface. HHH back in, out goes Shawn. Nope, Shawn skins the cat. Lazily. Shawn
sucks, fuck you Shawn. MSG is all for Benoit. Benoit out, HHH and Shawn in to
make out. JR calls Triple H a "big muscular guy" and talks about how
"his back spasms quickly." JR's so gay for him. HHH gets a near-fall,
Benoit hits some shoulderblocks on the apron, HHH knees him to the floor. HHH
rams Benoit into the apron, Benoit screams in pain. Again, HHH holds him,
Michaels baseball slides to the back and knocks them both down. Michaels up top
- beautiful moonsault to the floor. All three down. Michaels and HHH back in.
HHH with the facebuster, pedigree attempt, Benoit in and breaks it up. Benoit
tries to German Michaels, Shawn won't go. Benoit posts him instead. Benoit in
control against HHH now as JR points out that he now resides in Atlanta. Boy I
don't like that. Benoit with back elbows from a bad position on the top rope,
but HHH hangs him in the tree of woe. Michaels pulled up and whipped hard into
Benoit. HHH covers, 2. Michaels reverses an attempt at the same thing, HHH gets
kicked in the face by Benoit. Michaels rolls him up, 2. Off the ropes, Michaels
with the flying burrito and the stupid kip-up. People start to boo so Benoit
steamrolls over and clotheslines Michaels to the floor. German on Benoit, HHH
fights out, nevermind, #2 hits. Hat trick is completed. Benoit and HHH are
hitting hard tonight. Michaels is hitting like a woman as usual. Benoit crotched
up top, Shawn sets for sweet chin music on HHH, it's ducked, and Shawn gets sent
to the floor. The one thing I don't like about these matches are all the
segments where someone has to lie on the floor. Benoit and HHH slugging it out
like crazy up top. HHH with a HEADBUTT. Superplex! Cover, 2. Cover, 2.
"Let's go Benoit" chants. Benoit blocks the pedigree and gets the
crossface! It's not perfect but it's on. Shawn Michaels breaks it up, the fag.
Michaels hits a German on Benoit, which pisses MSG off bad. Benoit counters and
drills Shawn with three straight, and Shawn does a great job heel-selling it,
I'll give him that much. The woman. Benoit cuts the throat and heads up - flying
headbutt hits on Michaels! JR brings up Dynamite Kid, good for him. Cover, 2.
Cover, 2. Benoit out, Michaels and HHH up and fighting it out. Michaels with a
scoop aaand a slam. HBK up top - flying elbowdrop hits! Michaels fires it up and
gets booed. But they can't help it, they stomp with him. Sweet chin music
connects! Cover, 2, Benoit pulls HHH to the floor. Everyone's on the floor and
we've got "Benoit" chants. Michaels and Benoit back in. Michaels takes
the flip in the corner, Benoit looks for the sharpshooter. Michaels blocks and
gets catapulted, hits the post and blades - IN MID-AIR, MIND YOU. Benoit has the
crossface on Shawn! Tap you woman! Michaels goes to tap and HHH holds his hand
up. Well you can't help but like that bit. HHH and Benoit fight on the floor,
Benoit gets sent into the steps. HHH starts clearing off the Smackdown table.
Tazz and Cole get out of the way. Haha Tazz is short. Benoit comes in and sets
for a German on top of the Spanish table. And I mean they're standing on it. To
explain, from left to right, side-by-side, the tables are Smackdown, Spanish,
Raw. HHH looks for the pedigree, Benoit fights out. Michaels and HHH exchange a
look and hammer on Benoit - double-team suplex throw on Benoit through the
Smackdown table! "Holy shit" chants. Shawn calls HHH out in the ring.
Slugfest in the ring, JR calls for EMTs for Benoit. Michaels throws gay girly
chops in the corner, HHH takes a hard bump in the corner to the floor and takes
out a cameraman. JR calls for EMTs again. HHH sent into the post, Michaels runs
into a cameraman. Shades of WrestleMania XI. Inside - pedigree on Shawn
Michaels! Both men down, HHH is bleeding now too. HHH drapes the arm, 2, BENOIT
OUT OF NOWHERE! JR sells the hell out of it. All three down, HHH is the first to
sit up. Benoit and HHH are up, Benoit is lighting him up. Pedigree? No go,
Benoit sweeps the legs - SHARPSHOOTER! The crowd is rabid. HHH screams in pain.
He reaches for the ropes, Benoit pulls it back to the center! Crowd is begging
for the tap - Michaels comes into superkick Benoit in the head. Michaels covers
Benoit, 2, SHOULDER UP! Shawn struggles up and calls for Benoit to get up.
Michaels stomps and this time the boos are unanimous. Benoit ducks the superkick
and dumps Michaels. HHH up - PEDIGREE - BLOCKED - CRIPPLER FUCKING CROSSFACE!
CROSSFACE! CROSSFACE! HHH REACHES FOR THE ROPES - THE CROWD IS NUTS - GODDAMN IT
JUST TAP! HHH IS FADING - EARL CHECKS THE ARM - IT STAYS UP! HHH ROLLS IT OVER -
BENOIT HOLDS ON! CENTER OF THE RING! HHH ... TAPS! HHH TAPS HHH TAPS! HOLY SHIT
YES! (24'44") JR loses his voice screaming for Benoit, Benoit is in tears.
My God. My God in heaven. A great match. I don't wanna speak too soon, but if
this match is any indication, HHH is back and the WWE is headed in the right
direction. It's about wrestling, by God.
1/4
To make it all sweeter, Eddie Guerrero is in the ring, they embrace, both in tears, and we end WrestleMania XX with Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero holding world championship belts while the confetti falls in Madison Square Garden, everyone on their feet. You can't top that.
Post-show video package is excellent as always.
This was a great show. A really great show. I don't think it tops X-Seven because there was no blowaway, off-your-ass main event like Austin/Rock, where it was THE match at the end that had been wanted for so long, and needed to happen, and defined an era. This was more reminiscent of X, which was the intent, I believe. Things are starting fresh right now. There are two champions that are on top for the first time in their careers, and both have earned it, much like Bret Hart did at X. Things are changing because they have to, which is the only time things really change in WWE.
This show was an ending and a beginning. Brock Lesnar is gone. Goldberg is gone. HHH is going to have to be phased out just a bit. They needed Benoit and Guerrero, and you can't make them stronger than they were tonight given the circumstances.
I think I'd rank this as the third- or fourth-best WrestleMania of all-time, with X-Seven, XIX and X. There was a lot of filler crap here, but getting everyone on is an understandable wish. The show was really long, but it didn't feel bad live, at least not for me. The stuff that didn't work is easy to ignore because the big matches delivered, with the exceptions of Undertaker/Kane and Goldberg/Lesnar, though I wouldn't go so far as to call either of them failures. The latter enters a WrestleMania lore, to be sure, and you can't argue with the reaction Undertaker got. Shelf life is a whole other concern, I'm just talking about this night. And what a night it was.