UFC 46: SUPER NATURAL - 01.31.04
by Scott Christ

 
UFC's tenth anniversary show in November was a bust. No company should ever celebrate ten years of business by putting on such a lackluster card, and really, this show was kind of Zuffa asking for a do-over. I'd blah blah blah some more, but I am understandably a bit let down, so let's just go.

My picks were:

Georges St. Pierre (decision) Karo Parisyan
Matt Serra (submission - 2) Jeff Curran
Hermes Franca (KO - 2) Josh Thomson
Carlos Newton (TKO - 3) Renato Verissimo
Lee Murray (KO - 1) Jorge Rivera
Wes Sims (TKO - 2) Frank Mir
Matt Hughes (TKO - 3) B.J. Penn
Randy Couture (decision) Vitor Belfort

--Live on January 31 (Super Saturday!) from the Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino in Vegas.

--Our hosts for the evening are MIKE GOLDBERG and JOE ROGAN, who has been assaulted. Joe Rogan jokes about four times throughout the night that he got his shiner and the bruise under his other eye playing hopskotch, which gets progressively less funny every time you hear it. Joe Rogan can go screw.

--MIDDLEWEIGHTS (185) - LEE MURRAY (7-1-1) v. JORGE RIVERA (6-1-0, Team Elite): Rivera fought at UFC 44 and beat David Loiseau in a stand-up war, and Murray fought Tito Ortiz at a pub and beat his ass. Murray is a one-punch KO phenom, so I expected a quick and brutal fight. Murray comes out with a prison jumpsuit and Hannibal mask, although he fights in neither. Fight is underway, Rivera throws a right and takes Murray down. Murray goes for an armbar, and then switches over beautifully into a triangle choke, and Rivera taps out. (01'45") Seemed like Rivera completely didn't even consider that Murray might have a ground game, which he clearly does. Murray talks lots of shit in a heavy English jibberish accent that approaches Noel Gallagher territory, then they tease Murray eventually stepping up to 205 to fight Tito Ortiz, who is in the crowd giving such brutal and graphic hand signals as "I cut your throat" and "thumbs down."

--In the crowd: CHUCK NORRIS!!!

--HEAVYWEIGHTS - WES SIMS (4-2-0, Hammer House) v. FRANK MIR (6-1-0, Ricardo Pires Jiu-Jitsu): These two fought at UFC 43 in a quickly infamous bout that saw Sims DQ'd for stomping on Mir's face while Mir was down. These guys have shit-talked for months about the fight, which was supposed to happen at 45 but got cancelled. Underway, Mir kicks low which stings Sims right off the bat, and then gets a huge slam. And I mean huge, because Sims is 6'10", though thin as a rail for a fighter that height at 238. He's like a buff Semmy Schilt without the knees. Mir mounts, and Sims flails away from the mat with lots of dumb-looking punches, seeming completely lost and freaking outish. Mir goes for an armbar, Sims doesn't let him get it. Mir gets his back, lands some punches, then gets back to the mount. I have "Sims sucks" written in my notes twice at this point. Mir goes for an arm triangle, but doesn't get it like he'd need it for a submission, and Sims signals with a thumbs up that he's fine. He then throws in a "point at Mir, give the finger" for good measure. Sims has a cut over his eye and Mir has a nosebleed. Mir lands an elbow, the round ends. First round to Mir, easily. Sims looks hurt.

Second round starts like the first, except Sims avoids the opening kick before getting slammed. John McCarthy stands them up, both look pretty tired and they're just leaning on the cage now. I go downstairs to answer the door, then come back into the room right in time to see Mir land some knees, a right, and a big left hook, and we've got a TKO. (04'21") A good fight, and Sims does the right thing showing some respect afterward. Mir, likewise. Sims is certainly tough, although he just isn't quite ready for these fights.

--We get some UFC 47 hype, mostly featuring the long-overdue Tito Ortiz-Chuck Liddell showdown which anyone with a brain predicts won't happen when Tito "gets hurt" in training. It's fitting that Ortiz had that feud with Ken Shamrock, giving the amazing similarities between the two. We get a very small amount of hype for the heavyweight title match between Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arlovski for the same show.

--WELTERWEIGHT (170) CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - B.J. PENN (challenger, 6-1-1, B.J. Penn's MMA) v. MATT HUGHES (champion, 31-3-0, Miletich Martial Arts): Penn is stepping up from 155, where he was undoubtedly #1 in the world, to try to win a title in the UFC. Penn is also the most decorated American jiu-jitsu competitor of all-time, and Hughes has seemed to be taking this fight lightly. We open up with some striking trades, Hughes gets rocked and goes into the guard. Penn on top and controlling with strikes, now he has the back. And right like that, Penn gets a rear naked choke and Hughes taps, it's over. (04'39") New welterweight champion, and the king has fallen. This is a shocker. Penn kisses Hughes after the fight, which Hughes responds to with a smile. Then, to add some total brilliance, Penn licks some of Hughes' blood off of his own face. Penn celebrates wildly and Hughes just looks to be in total disbelief, which I think all of us were. Even those that said Penn could win this fight, and I gave him a shot but admittedly didn't think he could do it, couldn't have expected him to completely dominate the much stronger Matt Hughes. But he did, he absolutely destroyed him. Penn cries after the fight, and Hughes says he feels like the pressure is off of him now. It almost sounds like a retirement speech until he says he'll be ready to fight whomever the company lines up for him, which is nice. B.J. Penn just shot up the pound-for-pound rankings.

--Rogan is in the octagon now to waste some time, and we get more useless hype for the stupid Tito Ortiz-Chuck Liddell fight that I might have cared about a year ago. On my notes, it says "Rogan with Chuck + Tito." Then under that, I have an arrow pointing to it with the word "GAY" under it, because that's about as eloquently as I can describe this segment. They get into the cage with each other to cut some brutal rehearsed promos, and then it's over.

--Let's waste some more time, as Bruce Buffer reads us a list of people in attendance. Nearly as exciting as it sounds, though let's give a big shout-out to crappy Orioles Rick Bauer and Marty Cordova.

--Yay, the swing fight makes it.

--WELTERWEIGHTS (SORT OF) - RENATO VERISSIMO (3-0-0, B.J. Penn's MMA) v. CARLOS NEWTON (12-7-0, Warrior MMA Fight Team): Verissimo is actually Penn's jiu-jitsu trainer. Newton is actually a complete dork, but I love him anyway. Newton gets taken down, and I think Mike Goldberg is taking a leak. Oh, there he is. Verissimo goes for the armbar, Newton gets out. Verissimo sweeps gorgeously, has Newton's back, and Newton is out again. Verissimo dominates for the rest of the round. First round to Verissimo.

Second round starts with Verissimo in complete control again, and then Larry Landless stands them up for reasons I can't explain, really. Newton ducks a high kick but, like Carlos Newton tends to do, eats a knee instead. Verissimo takes his back, but Newton hangs on. Second round to Verissimo.

Third round is underway, Newton is rocked hard and taken down. Verissimo controlling, back into another inexplicable standup. Newton is hammered with some knees and a nice hook, but he gains control and gets the takedown (kinda). Up again, Newton taken down again. This is complete dominance, and it's over. Third round to Verissimo again, and that's the unanimous decision. Great showing for Verissimo here, terrible showing for Newton.

--KEN SHAMROCK has joined the commentary for the main event. Under normal circumstances, Shamrock really annoys me, but he's a really good commentator, and I wouldn't be against him taking Joe Rogan's spot. Then again, I wouldn't be against anyone taking Joe Rogan's spot.

--LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT (205) CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - VITOR BELFORT (challenger, 12-3-0) v. RANDY COUTURE (champion, 12-5-0, Team Quest): Randy has my main men Dan Henderson and Matt Lindland with him, which I make note of because I like them. I'll tell you, I was looking forward to this fight when it was announced two months ago, and watching all the video package stuff on it tonight had me more amped up. Oh man, we're underway. Vitor throws a punch! It grazes Randy's eye! It cuts through Randy's eyelid and gives him a corneal abrasion! The fight has to be stopped! (no more than :07)Boy that really sucks! Vitor is the new champ, somewhat unwillingly. What a huge letdown, but it's just one of those things. I can't blame anyone, which pisses me off, because I'd LOVE to blame that redheaded witch doctor Margaret Goodman for this like I do the Hughes-Castillo fight. Oh well.

All in all, the show wasn't a ripoff or anything. It wasn't very GOOD, what with the all-but-cancelled main event and the total of about 30 minutes of fighting shown on a two-and-a-half hour PPV, which I realize makes this thing very short, and for that I apologize. On behalf of Zuffa, I mean. They could have SHOWN me the undercard fights. Dicks. See you for Pride.

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