WWE Royal Rumble - 01.19.03
by Scott Christ
recapped on 12.26.03

So I ordered some tapes from my mainest man, JAMES KALYN, and one of them was this, since I felt it would be nice to have the year in WWE PPVs, although most of them aren't very good. Furthermore, I wanted to have the Angle-Benoit match on proper VHS format. Furthermore, I wanted to complete a year of PPV recaps. Furthermore, Christmas is over, and I'm bored.

--According to this screen on the tape, James, who lives in Canada, and I, who do not, have the exact same cable screens despite not having the exact same cable companies. So I find it somewhat odd that large corporations use like, templates. But that's OK by me. This blew my mind.

--The Road to Wrestlemania Begins! Live on January 19, 2003 from the sold-out Fleet Center in Boston.

--We are with SmackDown's MICHAEL COLE and TAZZ.

--WINNER TO BE ENTERED INTO THE ROYAL RUMBLE - THE BIG SHOW (500, Tampa, FL, with PAUL HEYMAN) v. BROCK LESNAR (295, Minneapolis, MN): Big Show was still in his "wearing jeans" phase. WELL! Here comes the pain! Brock keeps slightly longer hair as a babyface, which I think works since it makes him look slightly more handsome. Not that he's a really handsome man either way. Tie-up, Big Show is stronger. Tie-up, Big Show is stronger. Lesnar bounces. Lesnar with a shoulder into the gut, drives Big Show to the corner, Big Show powers out. Brock tries a belly-to-belly, Big Show headbutts away. Belly-to-belly from Lesnar! Heyman is surprised. Another belly-to-belly! Heyman hits his knees and prays. Lesnar tries another waistlock, but Show picks him up by the throat and throws him over the top. Big Show follows him out - kneelift. Back in, Show in control with stomps and stuff. Big Show with more manhandling silliness, but he runs into a German suplex. Cover - two count. Heyman grabs Lesnar's foot, lets go, and Lesnar turns around into a big boot. If you're really curious, we have mentioned three times or so that Big Show wears a 16EEEEE boot. Show calls for the chokeslam - Lesnar counters with an armdrag pin for two. Belly-to-belly #3! Heyman on the apron - Heyman in the ring. There goes Heyman's cap, hanging onto his stupid ass ponytail. Lesnar has Heyman up for the F5, but Big Show is up. CHOKESLAM! Cover, 2, SHOULDER UP. Big Show's straps go down and he bellows a few times, looking as though he could really use a nap. Set for another chokeslam, up, slide down, shove, kick, F5! 1, 2, 3! (06'28") Lesnar is headed to the Rumble! Big Show is not. Sorry, Big Show. Not much to this match, but it was probably the best F5 to Big Show that Lesnar has ever done, since he didn't just turn him over onto his back.

--Backstage, TERRI is with CHRIS JERICHO. Last week Jericho was given a choice of what number to take in the Rumble, and he took #2. He hints that he would have preferred to have #1, but Vince gave that to Shawn Michaels. Jericho goes over winning the undisputed title, and plans to go to Wrestlemania to win an illegitimate half of it back.

--Here's JR and THE KING. Chattering about the next match, and here we go.

--WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - THE DUDLEY BOYZ (challengers, 546, homeless) v. LANCE STORM & WILLIAM REGAL (champions, 470, Calgary and Blackpool): Bubba and Storm start it out. Storm works a wristlock, Bubba turns it around. Side headlock, off the ropes, Bubba with a shoulderblock and a hiptoss. Storm with a small flurry, but Bubba comes back with jabs. Storm ducks under off the ropes, but gets caught with a crappy power bomb. Bubba with a toehold, tag to D-Von. Jawbreaker from Storm, tag to Regal. D-Von with rights and such. Storm and Regal take over, thank god. There's only so much crappy Dudley Boyz offense I can deal with anymore. Storm with a neck vice. D-Von punches out, but Storm gets a sleeper. Snapmare from D-Von, shot from Bubba, tag to Bubba. Clotheslines galore, backdrop. Regal in, miscommunication, Regal's out, sideslam on Storm, two count. Release German from Bubba (what?), two count again. Flip n' flop for Storm, fly for Regal, Bubba Bomb on Storm. Cover, 2, Regal breaks. Blind tag from D-Von, slam from Bubba, whassup on Regal. Flapjack on Storm, two count. Storm's legal? Who knows. CHIEF MORLEY comes down, Regal has the knux, but he takes the 3D. Morley on the apron, down goes Morley. D-Von with the knux - down goes Storm! Cover, 2, 3, new champions. (07'22") This match was sort of bad.

--Nathan Jones prison video package. What a cool video package. As for how that turned out, well.

--Recently, Dawn Marie married Al Wilson and fucked him to death. Oh man. This was the best angle ever. YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER. SLAPFIGHT BY THE CASKET. DOWN GOES THE CASKET. LAMP BROKEN OVER THE HEAD BY THE CASKET. YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER.

--STEPMOTHER v. STEPDAUGHTER MATCH - DAWN MARIE WILSON (weightless, homeless) v. TORRIE WILSON (weightless, homeless: Dawn wears a veil, Torrie is very upset. You know, in hotpants and thigh-highs. God I love wrestling. Mike Sparks tries to make sure Torrie wants to do this, but Dawn jumps Torrie. Torrie with a double-leg. Oh boy this is bad. Slingshot to nowhere from Torrie. Torrie goes for a German, I guess, but Dawn blocks. Dawn with a Fujiwara? What the fuck. Dawn works the arm, cover, 2. Collision, I don't know what the hell's going on. I think Dawn's winning. Torrie with an armdrag, and another. Well, she ain't Ricky Steamboat. Springboard clothesline by Dawn. I think Boston has had enough of this. Torrie with a swinging neckbreaker, three count. (03'35") Awful bad.

--Backstage, STEPHANIE MCMAHON walks up on ERIC BISCHOFF and RANDY ORTON. Stephanie and Orton exchange pleasantries, Orton leaves. Stephanie is here to say goodbye to Bischoff, who, if you remember, had 30 days until he was fired. "Blood is thicker than urine." "Money is much thicker than blood." These two with their sexually frustrated exchanges were possibly the most disturbing promo pair ever.

--Sean O'Haire video. These were great, too bad he sucks.

--JR and The King talk. Video package featuring arm wrestling, posedowns and a push-up contest.

--WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - TRIPLE H (champion, 272, Greenwich, CT, with RIC FLAIR) v. SCOTT STEINER (challenger, 275, Detroit, MI): Earl Hebner isn't putting with any crap from anyone. He's gonna call it right down the middle, and wishes them luck. Staredown, trash-talking. Trade of rights. Steiner floors HHH. Chop, HHH with a right, chop, chop, Steiner with forearms and chops. Off the ropes, Steiner with a forearm and a press slam. HHH bails, Steiner follows. Steiner with a clothesline and some more rights. Two very gentle rams into the ringpost, then one into the security wall. HHH on the apron, suplex into the ring by Steiner. Cover, 2, kickout. Chops, hard whip to the corner. Steiner is working the back to set for the recliner, too bad that didn't stick around. HHH gets caught on a kick and elbowed down. Steiner with a pretty terrible Boston crab, which gets no pop from Boston. HHH gets the ropes. Elbows to the side of the head on the mat from Steiner. HHH with a facebuster and...Steiner doesn't sell? Why? Steiner catches HHH and bearhugs. Overhead belly-to-belly from Steiner, two count. Flair pulls HHH out of the ring before Steiner can get the recliner, and Steiner is stalking Flair now. Hebner gets him under control and back in. More chops, whip to the corner, follow-in, HHH with a boot up and that got some cheers. So this is going not well. To the floor, Steiner is sent into the steps. HHH breaks the count and goes back to throw Steiner in the ring. Swinging neckbreaker from HHH, cover, 2. Flair gets in there and chokes Steiner with his jacket. Gosh, HHH, why don't you call spots a little more loudly? These guys are PROFESSIONALS? Crappy missed clothesline spot, reverse neckbreaker from HHH, two count. Flair gets involved again with choking. HHH with a kick, sets for the pedigree, but Steiner double-legs him. Steiner EVENTUALLY gets to the catapult. T-bone suplex from Steiner. Oh man Steiner just fell over, though that very well could have been "fatigue," I guess. Steiner sets for something, HHH reverses (tombstone position), and HHH gets the worst diamond cutter ever as Steiner takes it like a reverse neckbreaker. Two count. God this is awful and it hasn't even gotten to the mythical, legendary bad parts yet. Suplex from HHH, Flair tries to get the crowd up, and they cheer. Well some of them. Most of them did nothing. Steiner with another overhead belly-to-belly. Trade of rights. Clotheslines from Steiner, backdrop, and Steiner gets another belly-to-belly. And another. And another. The crowd is booing Steiner now, and frankly I don't even get why. Yeah, he sucks, but he hasn't done anything unusual. Spinning belly-to-belly from Steiner, two count. Steiner with a double-underhook, and...falls down but kinda still slams HHH. And that seals his fate, and this match's fate. Up top, Steiner with a superplex. HHH kicks out again, then bails. HHH and Flair try to walk out, but Steiner chases them down. Well, that makes it sound like he might have ran. He most assuredly did not. HHH tries a belt shot, but it doesn't work. HHH has bladed, as something needs to be done. HHH tries to leave through the crowd now, and again Steiner gets to him. Hey, I know you know this and all, but seriously, from the bottom of my heart, let me say that this match fucking sucks and hard. In the ring again, Steiner with push-ups and he gets booed. Steiner with horrible punches in the corner. Flair wants the match stopped because of the blood, but Earl won't have it. Maybe Earl SHOULD have it. Earl gets thrown out of the ring by HHH, and Steiner just stands there, and Earl calls for the bell...no he doesn't! No reaction for him demanding that they wrestle. Belly-to-belly from Steiner! Cover, 2, shoulder up. This is so fucking bad. HHH with a lowblow and roll-up, he gets two. HHH with the damn sledgehammer, and the crowd is just so excited. Earl shouts "no! no! no!" Sledgehammer to the gut, Earl calls for the bell. BOOOOOOOOOing from the crowd. (18'13") HHH goes for another sledgehammer shot on Steiner, but Earl tries to stop him. To no avail, however. Steiner blocks a hammer shot, and now he has it. Hammer shot on HHH, hammer shot on Flair. Shot to the head on HHH. BOOOOOOOOOOOO. Steiner Recliner! More referees come in to try and break the hold, but they can't do it. Here's Slaughter and Garea, and now Bischoff is in. Bischoff shouts at Steiner to let him go, so Steiner does. Thankfully, this is completely over now. Goddamn.

--Cole and Tazz discuss that match for a moment, then hype up THEIR big title match. What a sign of the times these two matches were. Video package.

--WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - KURT ANGLE (champion, 237, Pittsburgh, PA, with TEAM ANGLE) v. CHRIS BENOIT (challenger, 229, Edmonton, AB): Benoit walks toward Angle before the bell, but Team Angle holds him away. Referee Mike Chioda throws Team Angle out before we get underway. Bell rings, Benoit shoulders Angle down and goes for the sharpshooter, but Angle wrestles himself away and bails to the floor. Benoit attacks with fierce vigor and shit, Angle goes for a sleeper, Benoit armdrags out. Benoit with a dragon screw, and he goes for the sharpshooter. Angle holds his ground when Benoit tries to turn it over, so Benoit just drops down to the mat with the legs locked. Angle gets the ropes. Angle with a boot to the gut and some forearm shots and stomps. Angle with a vertical suplex. Two count. Angle with a sissy chop and some rights. Benoit with real man's chops. Whip to the corner, Benoit gets a boot up, and hits a lariat to the back of Angle's head. Another clothesline, cover, 2. Chop, chop, whip, chop, kneelift, kneelift, whip stopped, Angle with a front suplex onto the top rope. Trade of rights on the apron, Benoit gets a kick and a DDT on the apron. Sweet. Rolled in, cover, two count. Benoit up top - headbutt misses! Angle goes for the Angle Slam, Benoit slides down, and Benoit gets the sharpshooter! Out of that, Benoit with a back suplex for two. Angle with a belly-to-belly throw out of the ropes, both men down. Angle's mouth is bleeding. Angle tosses Benoit to the floor and takes another quick breather. Outside now, Angle drops Benoit across the barricade. Inside, Angle in control with a snapmare and a rear chinlock with a grapevine around the waist. Benoit gets out slowly, but Angle keeps resetting his grip. Benoit armdrags out, off the ropes, caught with an overhead belly-to-belly. Back suplex from Angle, cover, 2. Back to the chinlock, and Benoit elbows out. Off the ropes, clothesline ducked by Benoit, off again, double clothesline! Both men down, both men up, and Benoit is rejuvenated. Benoit with chops and clotheslines and backdrops. German suplex, German suplex! Standing switch by Angle, German suplex! Standing switch by Benoit, German suplex! Benoit with a snot rocket, up top for the headbutt, but Angle shoots up with the belly-to-belly! The crowd has come alive, and Angle gets two. Angle Slam, Benoit rolls down - CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! Angle reaches for the ropes - and gets it. Benoit pulls him out and hooks the ankle lock! Angle rolls out - ankle lock! Benoit rolls over and takes him down - crossface! Angle rolls back into a pin, two count. Angle charges, Benoit with crossface #3! Angle feigns a tap, but rolls over again. Benoit does not release. Angle picks him up, Benoit still won't release, ANGLE SLAM! Whoo. Angle covers, 2, SHOULDER UP. Ankle lock #2 from Angle, Benoit rolls out. German attempt, Angle elbows him away. Angle goes for a German, Benoit rolls him over and hooks the legs, 1, 2, NO. Benoit with a German! Standing switch, German from Angle! Standing switch, Benoit with the German that causes the receiver to flip in mid-air and land on his face. Big pop and an ovation for that. This is great wrestling. Benoit heads up top for the third time - headbutt connects! That was an old school headbutt dive as far as length. Benoit pins - 1, 2, kickout! Benoit has crossface #4 on, Angle gets out and up, sets for a power bomb, and drops him overhead onto the top turnbuckle. Angle Slam #2! Cover, 2, KICKOUT! Crossface #5! The crowd is so hot for Angle to tap, this is brilliant. Angle rolls over, ankle lock #3! Benoit rolls and kicks around, but can't get out of it. Angle is standing now, but Benoit kicks him off. Angle gets it right back, that's #4. Benoit rolls again, but Angle holds on. Benoit reaches for the ropes, but Angle pulls him out and grapevines the leg. Finally, Benoit taps out. (19'45") What a fantastic match. Easily the best WWE match of the year. Team Angle rushes the ring and puts Angle up on their shoulders. Tazz calls it a "five-star match," and they do a great job putting over.

--Rebellion spot, and we're back to the ring where Benoit is getting a standing ovation. This is a goddamned moment right here.

--Backstage, KANE and ROB VAN DAM discuss the fact that there are no friends, even though they're friends.

--PlayStation 2 has been presenting the Royal Rumble live from the sold-out Fleet Center in Boston. I guess JR and The King are calling the Rumble.

--THE FINK lets us know the rules.

--ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH: Intervals are every 01'30". The first entrant, of course, is SHAWN MICHAELS, and the second is, of course, CHRIS JERICHO. But instead of Jericho coming down the aisle, it's CHRISTIAN dressed as Jericho. Jericho, though, sneaks in from behind and goes to work. Jericho lays Shawn out with a chair, so Jack Doan jumps into the ring to yell at him. What are you going to do, disqualify him? Shawn has bladed. No. 3 is CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI, who backs off to let Jericho continue working on Michaels. Jericho keeps laying it down, and tosses Michaels out. (02'29" - MICHAELS by JERICHO) Nowinski sneaks into the ring, but gets right back out. Their intervals are already about 5 seconds off. No. 4 is REY MISTERIO JR. Misterio jumps in and goes right at Jericho, as they repeat some spots from their 97-98 matches in WCW. Misterio falls and hangs onto the ringpost, then hits a springboard dropkick. Nowinski gets in to jump Misterio from behind. No. 5 is EDGE. Spears for Jericho and Nowinski, the intervals are now about 10 seconds off. Nowinski and Jericho both get knocked to the floor, but not over the top. Edge and Rey decide they have to go at it, because hey, that's the Royal Rumble, by god. Spear misses, 619 misses, Misterio tries to drag Edge over the top, but only one foot hits. Back in, Misterio with a springboard rana, but Edge counters with a power bomb. JR and the King seem quite shocked that these Smackdown guys are so much better than the losers they've been having to put up with. Alright, so now they're just up to having two-minute intervals, and No. 6 is CHRISTIAN. Christian hugs Edge, but Edge won't have it. Nowinski thinks he has eliminated Edge and Rey, but he has not. Double flying dropkick on Nowinski, but Edge was only about 27 hours behind the scheduled jump time, so he lands on Nowinski's face. Bronco buster on Nowinski. No. 7 is CHAVO GUERRERO JR. Boy these intervals are terrible messed up. 619 on Chavo! West Coast -- no he just gave him the pie in the sky. 619 on Christian! Christian ducks the West Coast Pop, but he gets Nowinski instead and dumps him out with a rana. (09'05" - NOWINSKI by MISTERIO) Jericho finally sneaks into the ring, and clotheslines Misterio out. (09'17" - MISTERIO by JERICHO) Four men in, but the countdown is on. I'm done trying to keep track of their shitted-up entrance times. No. 8 is TAJIRI. Lawler confuses Tajiri and Funaki. Lawler is retarded. JR can't figure out what to call moves so he sticks it to people who can. Jericho and Chavo are having an exchange, and No. 9 is BILL DEMOTT. The world leaps out of their seats in excitement. DeMott moves around the ring, being tough, hitting people smaller than him, trying to throw Jericho out, not succeeding, and generally sucking a lot of dick. No. 10 is TOMMY DREAMER, with a trashcan full of shit. Dreamer has cane shots for everyone, and Edge joins the fun of hitting DeMott with a cane. And out goes DeMott. (13'36" - DEMOTT by EDGE/DREAMER) Dreamer takes some brief punishment and gets dumped, which gets booed. (13'56" - DREAMER by JERICHO/CHRISTIAN) Jericho blocks the tarantula and shoves Tajiri out. (14'36" - TAJIRI by JERICHO) No. 11 is B SQUARED. He kicks people. Then he's thrown out. (15'14" - B SQUARED by EDGE) (15'26" - CHAVO by EDGE) Jericho hangs on for dear life and skins the cat, then rushes across the ring to dump the other two and be the only man left in the ring for now. (15'50" - EDGE & CHRISTIAN by JERICHO) Jericho has a bloody knot on his forehead via Tommy Dreamer. No. 12 is ROB VAN DAM. Van Dam with rights and kicks. Jericho ducks a spin kick, but catches another one. Jericho begs for mercy as Van Dam beats him down in the corner. Van Dam with a springboard side kick, followed with the rolling thunder. RVD catapults Jericho over, but he holds on. No. 13 is MATT HARDY VERSION 1.0. Matt Fact: Matt strongly dislikes mustard. Matt has Shannon Moore with him. Matt forms an alliance with Jericho to take Van Dam out and I love it. Van Dam with kicks to hold his own, but Jericho hits a bulldog. Van Dam fires back, he's up top - five star frog splash on Jericho! Matt tries to dump RVD, but no go. No. 14 is EDDY GUERRERO. Lawler is way excited when he remembers Latino Heat. Lawler then mentions that he's missed saying "Latino Heeeeeat!" RVD and Eddy have an exchange. Matt stops RVD from dumping Eddy, then tells Eddy to "stay right there." Matt with a slam, Eddy with a frog splash on RVD. Matt hits the twist of fate on Eddy! Matt is super fun. No. 15 is JEFF HARDY, and Matt is not happy. Matt wants to form an alliance, but Jeff isn't interested. Jeff dominates Matt, and tries to throw him out. Shannon Moore, the fucking genius, sneaks over to lay on the ground under Matt to keep him from touching the ground. Jeff with the twist of fate on Matt, and he heads up top. Moore jumps in to lay on Matt. Eddy just watches. Swanton bomb on Matt and Shannon! No. 16 is ROSEY. Well great, a fat guy coming into a ring with a bunch of small guys. Pairing off: Matt and Jeff, Jericho and Eddy, Rosey and RVD. Seems about right. Matt hangs on again. Eddy and Matt hook up now with the other guys fighting Jericho and Rosey at the same time. No. 17 is TEST, who gets a reaction via Stacy Keibler. Test, being tall, beats up the shorter guys, and also the fat guy. Jericho again barely hangs on. No. 18 is JOHN CENA. Cena has a rap for us, and it's really bad. Okay seriously, this is the worst rap ever. JR: "Word to your mother." RVD jumps Cena outside, and by the time he's done, we're ready for someone else. No. 19 is CHARLIE HAAS and we're getting a decent-sized pool of guys in the ring for once. RVD shoves Jeff Hardy out, marking the 374th time in his career that Jeff Hardy would just take ONE TOO MANY risks. (29'10" - J. HARDY by VAN DAM) No. 20 is RIKISHI. Rikishi has superkicks for Haas, Jericho, Matt, Cena, and a staredown for Rosey. Shannon jumps in again, but gets beaten up. Again. Rosey and Rikishi kinda team up, but Rosey floors him with a clothesline. No. 21 is JAMAL, goddamn it. Superkick on Rikishi! Superkick FROM Rikishi. Rikishi with an assvalanche and a stinkface for Jamal. Jamal is not happy about that. No. 22 is KANE. Seems like a good time for Kane. HERE WE GO! Well, I guess not. Boy they've deked me on that a couple times now. Okay, maybe not. (33'39" - ROSEY by KANE) Jericho again hangs on. No. 23 is SHELTON BENJAMIN. Matt also hangs on again. This Rumble is more full of bunches of people brawling than any other recent ones. No. 24 is BOOKER T. Scissor kick on Kane! Flapjack on Matt! SPINAROONIE! Out goes Eddy! (36'40" - EDDY by BOOKER) No. 25 is A-TRAIN. NOW will we get the big fucker throwing shit out? A-Train is all up ons anyway. Jericho hangs on again. Here comes Shawn Michaels? Shawn jumps into the ring to trade rights with Jericho, then beats up Matt and Cena too. (38'57" - JERICHO by TEST) What a crappy way to end his run, but a good way to set up their match at WM. Pull-apart with Michaels and Jericho. No. 26 is MAVEN. Maven goes after Kane because he's completely stupid. Some people might call it "gutsy," but I'll stick with "completely stupid." No. 27 is GOLDUST. Nutshot on Maven. (42'00" - GOLDUST by HAAS) Now Team Angle goes after Goldust's friend, and that works too. (42'30" - BOOKER by HAAS/BENJAMIN) No. 28 is BAW-TEESTA. (43'45" - TEST by BATISTA) (44'07" - RIKISHI by BATISTA) No. 29 is BROCK LESNAR. Oh my. Here comes the pain, King! I appreciate JR keeping up Tazz's tradition. Well, NOW it HAS to be time. (45'18" - HAAS/BENJAMIN by LESNAR) Lesnar is totally all up ons. F5 to the floor! (45'30" - M. HARDY by LESNAR) We're weeding out the workers and we're pretty much down to the hoss contingent, and hey hey hey, No. 30 is THE UNDERTAKER. (47'20" - CENA by UNDERTAKER) (47'30" - JAMAL by UNDERTAKER) Maven thinks he's eliminated UT again, but turns around into a chokeslam instead. Hey, it was worth a shot. (48'00" - MAVEN by UNDERTAKER) Kane and Lesnar get to have a moment, ending with Kane chokeslamming him. A-Train and RVD have a moment, and it's pretty shitty. Hey, get Batista and A-Train out of there already. RVD and Kane double-up on A-Train. (49'17" - A-TRAIN by KANE/VAN DAM) (49'34" - VAN DAM by KANE) Batista attacks, and Batista and Kane are down via double clothesline. Now we have a staredown - Undertaker and Lesnar. JR remembers their hell in a cell match. We're down to the Final Four, too: Batista, Kane, Undertaker and Lesnar. That doesn't give ANYTHING away. Kane pairs off with Lesnar, leaving Undertaker and Batista to fight in the middle of the ring. Batista wins out, then goes to help Kane out due to RAW Pride or something. Overhead belly-to-belly by Lesnar on Batista. F5 on Kane! Another UT-Lesnar staredown, and now they're firing. Big boot! Undertaker almost falls out before he's supposed to, so Lesnar saves him and pretty much gives away the final two. Tombstone on Lesnar by UT. (52'59" - BATISTA by UNDERTAKER) Taker helps Kane up, then turns on him. (53'29" - KANE by UNDERTAKER) Down to two, Batista comes back in with a chair, but Undertaker nails him with it. Lesnar shoots over - BROCK LESNAR WINS! (53'44" - UNDERTAKER by LESNAR) Undertaker acknowledges that Lesnar got 'im and stuff. Undertaker congratulates Lesnar and tells him to get da belt. This Rumble was a bit weird and like, bulky or something.

Well I did it. A full year of WWE PPV by yours truly. I'll see you next time for the 2004 Rumble, what a year we'll kick off then, chums. A-dios!

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