WWE house show - 07/03/2004
by James Kalyn
Recapped: 07/04/04
Saskatoon, SK
So I know this guy and his name is Dave and he is the Golden God of Ticketmaster. He got us front row! He almost always gets front row. I don't know how. But being at the front row makes even crappy house shows fun, and oh man, the announced card sure was crappy:
I think that was it? Not sure.
For weeks, they had been advertising that Trish Stratus would be signing autographs at the Confederation Park Wal-Mart at 2:00pm. Now, Dave and Josy and I had to go, because - and you might need to know Saskatoon to understand this - we couldn't WAIT to see what kind of people would show up at the Confederation Park Wal-Mart to meet a sexy wrestling girl. As it turns out, instead of Trish from 2-4pm, they sent Lita and Victoria from 4-6pm. Nobody really seemed to mind this.
We didn't bother waiting in the line for autographs:
...we were more interested in people-watching. And there were lots of awesome people to watch. God bless Wal-Mart.
After some rousing battles in Showdown: Legends Of Wrestling, it was time to head to the arena. The show actually started two minutes early, if you can believe that. This was cool, we were there in plenty of time to show up, look around, and get our seats. The souvenir stand was busy selling Eugene, Randy Orton, and Evolution shirts, and not much else. Well, Scott Steiner shirts, but those were marked down to $10.
Howard Finkel welcomed us to the show, made us stand for the national anthem, and we're underway with our opening match:
MATCH #1: Val Venis
& Maven
v. La Résistance (c) for the World Tag Team Championship
Yeah, sitting ringside, digital camera, new 512 MB memory card. I took 181 pictures at the arena, I think. I'll try to only keep the good and or funny ones in here.
Like this one. It's pretty funny. HELLLLLLLLLLLO CROTCH
This was a pretty decent match, made funnier because we could yell stupid stuff like jerks. And touch wrestlers. I got to touch the porn star's hand! Also I grabbed one of the Quebec flags for fun. Some dude who looked like Jeff Foxworthy called La Résistance "fucking French faggots," so for a while we quit making fun of the wrestlers to make fun of the Jeff Foxworthy guy instead. I was loving this. Yelling, being stupid, cheering for EVERYTHING because I could. Venis made the hot tag to Maven (due to my encouragement, no doubt), but Maven fell to the Au Revoir for the pin.
You might have noticed Dave Hebner at ringside in the picture of La Résistance. Well, Fit Finlay was there too.
And try as I might, Fit wouldn't answer me all evening. I tried being nice and saying "HI FIT FINLAY," but eventually I just begged him to acknowledge me. He wouldn't. He's so mean!
MATCH #2: Mike Bucci
v. Tajiri
Bucci, of course, used to be Nova, not that you could tell by looking at him. His height and tights got him some Lucky Charms chants, though I preferred Dave's "I've got a joke for you - what has green and black tights and sucks?" Though he didn't really suck, he just didn't do much. This was pretty one-sided. Tajiri won with a kick to the head.
SPECIAL ATTRACTION: The Coach
interviews Eugene
I totally touched the retard as he went by. Short version: because Eugene will be General Manager of Raw this week, he can pick his opponent tonight! So he picks the Coach and we have MATCH #3. This was full of comedy spots, such as Eugene rolling up into a ball,
...riding Coach,
...and demonstrating his superhuman grip strength.
Eugene won with a Rock Bottom and a People's Elbow.
MATCH #4: Chuck Palumbo
& Garrison Cade
v. Rosey
& The Hurricane
181 pictures I took, and that was the only shot of the Hurricane that I got. Oh well. This was fun, mostly because Garrison Cade called Dave a motherfucker, and so Dave spent the whole match trying to get an apology. He never did, but at least Cade lost. Palumbo took the fall and I have no idea how. After the match, Cade was going to fight Palumbo! But then they hugged. Probably this was because Chuck is gay again. Look at the hair!
MATCH #5: Stevie Richards
v. William Regal
I'm a sucker for lens flares.
This match was great. Richards talked and talked the whole way through it and made it so awesome. YOU CAN"T DO THAT TO ME, I'M THE GENERAL MANAGER OF HEAT! OH GOD PLEASE DON'T BREAK MY ARM! NOW I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR ARM AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT! Richards is awesome. Regal won with a running kneelift. Stevie got up and demanded to be announced the winner, but the ref was having none of it. Poor Stevie.
MATCH #6: Batista v. Rhyno
This was pretty good for a power match. Good crowd reaction for both guys too. Rhyno goes for the Gore, Batista counters with the spinebuster for the win.
INTERMISSION
During intermission, road agent (and former referee) Dave Hebner was hanging around, so I totally got my picture with him:
After this, (my friend) Dave's wife got (referee/road agent) Dave to sign her artificial leg. I told Hebner that we might have found a Zach Gowen for the women's division. Hebner: "She'd be better."
The ten minute intermission lasted ten minutes!
MATCH #7: Lita
...comes out to talk to Matt Hardy, and not for a match at all. Matt appears,
...but gets jumped by Tyson Tomko before he can speak,
And the match is on. Tomko dominates with power, but Matt pulls off the surprising win with the Twist of Fate. Tomko is left hurting.
Meanwhile, Lita tries to finally talk to Matt,
But he just walks off. Poor Lita :(
MATCH #8: Randy Orton (c)
v. Edge
for the Intercontinental Championship
The highlight of this match was Randy Orton's enormous boner,
...which was around for the entire match. This was so great. I love talking about nuts and dinks and taints and whatever, and this gave me endless ammunition. We have found the new Mark Henry, and it is Randy Orton.
This match was good. Edge had the title won, but the referee didn't see the pin because he was too busy trying to tie the turnbuckle pad back on. Then, irony of ironies, Orton dropped Edge headfirst onto the EXPOSED STEEL for the win.
MATCH #9: Gail Kim
v. Victoria (c)
for the Women's Championship
Hmm, no shortage of pictures from this match. It all started when a fan gave Victoria a teddy bear, but Gail STOMPED the bear in dastardly fashion. As a result, there were lots of submission holds. Look, a headlock!
Headscissors!
A half Boston Crab with a foot... there... for leverage. I guess. I bet that's a disqualification in a men's match.
Okay, now seriously.
Heh heh heh, I got yer small package right here!
I give up.
Victoria wins with the Widow's Peak,
But the real winners are the fans.
Though Victoria does recover her bear.
MATCH #10: Kane
v. Chris Benoit (c)
for the World Heavyweight Championship
If you saw Raw last week, you saw this match. Kane fought out of the Sharpshooter,
...only to tap to the Crossface.
Benoit welcomed Kane into the You Tapped Out Club, said some nice things about Saskatoon from his time here in Stampede Wrestling, and that was that.
After the match, I went outside to watch the wrestlers leave. Regal travels with Eugene and Tajiri. This makes me so happy. Eugene looks WEIRD when he's not retarded! Here's indisputable photographic proof:
I told Regal to not let Tajiri drive, and he made this expression like, well, you know Regal's expressions, they rule. But then he let Tajiri drive anyway. Don't ever believe the English.
Of course, my reason for going outside was to try to talk to Dean Malenko, the other road agent. I saw him getting into his van, and I yelled DEAN! and MALENKO! but it was to no reaction. I finally tried yelling DEAN! QUIT! EATING! DOGS! and he still didn't look at me, but this had the benefit of making everyone around me think that I was really strange and dumb. Oh well.
It was a pretty good show, all in all. I would have preferred a fresher main event, and there were quite a few no-shows from the Raw side (HHH, HBK, Bischoff, Jericho, Benjamin, Trish, Christian, Flair, and I guess I missed A-Train but I'm sure nobody else would), but being ringside and yelling stupid things was really fun. So fun that I went to the next show the following night!
WWE house show - 07/04/2004
by James Kalyn
Recapped: 07/04/04
Regina, SK
I wouldn't have gone twice, except my dad got free tickets from a lovely beverage company that even put us up in their skybox. The view was great, though my camera only has a 2x zoom, so I didn't get great pictures:
Oh well. The WWE folks were kind enough to change up the undercard significantly, so it wasn't even like sitting through the same show twice! Mostly.
MATCH #1: La Résistance (c) v. Rosey & The Hurricane for the World Tag Team Championship
La Résistance interrupted the recording of O Canada to sing "the real national anthem, in French" which of course drew buckets of boos. Hurricane and Rosey interrupted that to begin the match. Decent match, as it should be by this time. La Résistance won when one of them pulled the other out of the way of a Rosey avalanche.
The Coach interviews Victoria
Victoria comes out in street clothes. She has no opponent because Gail Kim was injured last night in Saskatoon (I never heard about this, but I suppose it's possible), but she wanted to tell us Regina fans how great we are and blah blah blah. Coach cuts her off and makes fun of her butt wiggle, so she slaps him. They look ready to fight, but Eugene runs in for the rehash of last night's "pick your opponent" angle. This time, Garrison Cade runs in to prevent the match from happening.
MATCH #2: Garrison Cade v. Eugene
Mostly the same comedy spots as last night. Eugene wins with the Rock Bottom and the People's Elbow again. After the match, Coach runs in for a quick Stunner, followed by a butt wiggle standing moonsault from Victoria.
MATCH #3: Val Venis v. Maven
Clearly, these two have issues stemming from last night's tag title loss. It starts with a handshake and some technical wrestling and another handshake, but then Maven's knee gives out. And here's Fit Finlay to check on him! Cue the referees. After about five minutes, Maven is helped up to a round of applause. Venis holds open the ropes... and wouldn't you know it, Maven boots Venis to the floor. This must have knocked Venis out, as Maven just rolls him back in for the pin.
MATCH #4: Rhyno & Tajiri v. Chuck Palumbo & Tyson Tomko
Small ECW chant to start. This was pretty fun. Actually, it was all pretty fun so I guess I can quit saying that now. Rhyno gored Chuck and Tajiri got the pin.
MATCH #5: Batista v. William Regal
Batista opens by running down Canadians, and then everyone who's not an American, so the un-American Regal answers the challenge. Batista wins with the spinebuster.
After the intermission, we get MATCH #6: Randy Orton (c) v. Edge for the Intercontinental Championship
Move for move, this was the same as last night. I amused myself by calling spots. Orton's boner wasn't as visible.
Lita still wants to talk to Matt Hardy - I guess because they never got the chance yesterday. Stevie Richards takes the cue from Tomko and sneak attacks Matt on the way to the ring. Short MATCH #7, Matt wins with the Twist of Fate. Once again, he leaves Lita in the ring.
MATCH #8: Chris Benoit (c) v. Kane for the World Heavyweight Championship
Wow, there were two fewer matches tonight? I never noticed. Poor Mike Bucci.
This match was the same as the night before. I tried recording it all with my digital camera, but it didn't really work. Also, because I wasn't ringside, I couldn't hear Kane say "boot me, I'll come back, move" like I did the night before.
This time, Benoit ended by talking about how he is FOR REAL. Then the show was over and I went home and wrote this and cropped a bunch of pictures. The end.
I guess I should review this? Boy, that Eugene sure is popular. Him and Benoit. Popular guys. And people react big for Evolution. And buy their shirts. But boy, most of the shirts suck these days.
The shows were pretty fun, but $60 for a ticket is crazy stupid. I loved being front row but really, there was very little star power and nothing special really happened. But it was fun. So go, but don't buy the $60 tickets unless you can get front row. Otherwise, just buy cheap seats and move down. With attendance easily under 2,500 at both shows, there was tons of room. Yep.
The end again.