Lucha Libre USA: Masked Warriors #4 (08/06/2010)
Recapped: 08/06/10
Everyone's gambling! If you wanted to see Mini Halloween in a suit, throwing chips into a pot, this is your show. Away from the poker game, Rebecca Reyes chats with Magno about his match with RJ Brewer. Magno promises to show Brewer what lucha libre is about. Mascarita Dorada has a full house! Mini Halloween can not believe it and accuses Dorada of cheating. Wait, Halloween is upset about someone else cheating? Halloween should be upset about not cheating. Himself. Halloween clears off the table, starts to storm off, and only stops to slap Rebecca's backside. “Call me!” I don't care what the cards say, Halloween is a winner.
Tonight: the Puerto Rican Powers & Mascarita Dorada vs Pequeño Halloween, Neutronic and Saber Claw. Saber who? And, in the main event, in the tag team tournament, Oriental & Tinieblas Jr. versus Lujo Esquire and Marco Corleone. Also, RJ Brewer and Magno.
We take you back to everything RJ Brewer's done over the last three weeks, including losing to Magno. “Cut my grass!” And a brawl which kind of just stopped.
Match 1: Magno vs RJ Brewer
Hippodrome, Springfield, MA, 06/19/2010
Winner: Magno (by DQ)
Match Time: 7:37
Rating: eh
Notes: Hey, look, obvious plants. Lalo could not be more obviously reading off a card. Referee is the Larger One.
Brewer lasts about 30 seconds, takes a dropkick, rolls out, and decides to start stalling on the outside. Exciting conversation about RJ Brewer's Mom and Lalo's Uncle Pepe. Brewer gets a little bit off offense, but Magno’s quickly in control with a quebradora con giro. Standing moonsault is not quite on target, only gets two. Nigel giving RJ credit for not giving up yet, in this two minute match. Mango misses a clothesline and elbow, and RJ chop blocks him on the third pass. Elbows to the inside of the left leg, grapevine on the leg. Toe hold! Announcers implying there is no one in lucha libre who is mat based. Hmmm. Magno set up in the corner, kicks to the leg, running dropkick to the left leg. One two no. Chinlock. I'm sorry, it's not a chinlock. RJ just has his hands on Magno’s shoulders, and if you’re generous, he's doing a nerve pinch. Magno coming back with punches. Corner whip, reveres, Magno bounces back out into a kick. European uppercut. Lalo: “It's an American uppercut.” Sure, why not. RJ Brewer misses another running corner kick, and crotches himself in the corner when Magno moves. Brewer out, up, and into a flapjack. Magno clothesline, clothesline, punches miss, Magno enziguri. One two NO. “Magno Driver” - the Cena's Attitude Adjustment – is enough for Lalo to hate to admit something. Absurd springboard tornillo splash, one two NO. That part, also absurd. Magno can't believe that's not the finish, and neither can I. Magno whips RJ into the corner, misses the corner splash, and RJ Brewer goes for a neckbreaker. Magno elbows him away. Magno kicks is caught, RJ spins him, clotheslines, Magno ducks, referee does not. That should be a DQ! It's probably not a DQ. RJ charges, Magno, Magno sets him on top and enziguris him. Magno calmly walks to the opposite corner, gather his breath, runs back towards the original corner, slips climbs up the ropes, slips again, climbs up, points to the crowd, and gets fouled. Uppercut, no question. RJ covers, but the ref is still down. RJ checks on the ref, but he's down. RJ tries to pick up Magno, but he's still down. RJ checks on the ref, Magno inside cradles him, ref recovers, one two three. Hooray, RJ Brewer has lost again, maybe I'll never hear about his mother again. No, there's two more mentions.
Break.
Replays of the last match, as required.
Earlier, Marco was completely excited for being at the home of the basketball hall of fame, the tag team tournament match. Solid seems down – he keeps getting tricked by Sydistico and Lizmark and wants to get revenge. Marco says just to ignore them, Lizmark's been trying to get in his head for four years. “Sydistiko, he's sadistic!” Anyway, they (the rudos) are idiots, and they (Solid & Marco) should just ignore them. Marco’s speech to Solid seems to work.
Recap of Solid's misadventures – getting beat up outside on week 1, getting cookie-d in week 2.
To the announce desk, where Rebecca is with the other announcers. Announcers talk about the trios tournament. Lalo bugs Rebecca about Pequeño Halloween as they hype that match. Who is Saber Claw??? Maybe later.
Match 2: Neutronic ©, Pequeño Halloween, Saber Claw vs Mascarita Dorada, PR Flyer, San Juan Kid ©
Hippodrome, Springfield, MA, 06/19/2010
Winner: PR Flyers & Mascarita Dorada
Match Time: 6:56
Rating: crazy spot fest
Notes: Halloween has not changed hometowns this week, he's still in Guadalajara. Lalo won't shut up about the segment we saw earlier with Halloween. Saber Claw is 200 pounds, from the African Tar Pits. Who is Saber Claw? Neutronic has new gear. No new abs, sadly. Rebecca's from Puerto Rico, good to know. Dorada is accompanied by a complete of ladies, who kiss him before he gets in the ring. Announcers debate Mini Halloween vs Mascarita Dorada with the ladies.
Thinking of protesting this match until they explain Saber Claw at all. Nigel: “Saber Claw, new here on Lucha Libre USA. You never know what you're going to get.” Yes. (That’s all we get.) Saber Claw just pulled off a leg lariat and a beautiful bridge on a Northern Lights suplex, so he's probably someone we know without his mask. Announcers discussing Mascarita's way with women while San Juan Kid is flipping all over the place. San Juan kid knocks Saber Claw out of the ring with a dropkick. Lalo continues to bury PR Flyer. Rebecca talking means 1/3rd less of the other two, so we just have 2/3rds to go. PR Flyer's backwards roll into a mecedora is pretty good. Neutronic just sits in his corner for a moment, then gets up to slap PR Flyer. Neutronic charges, and dropkicks Flyer into the técnico corner. Flyer out, Dorada in with a springboard dropkick on Neutronic. Halloween in for his side. Dorada springboard plancha lands, as does some slaps. Whip, back with a spinning headscissors, but Halloween throws him down. Chop. Whip, casadora into a headscissors. Halloween’s clothesline misses, one headscissors two headscissors three rotation headscissors! Dorada is dizzy once again, but so is Halloween. Halloween ends up in the técnico corner, and Dorada headscissors over the ropes and to the floor. Springboard armdrag to the floor. Neutronic in, but eating a wheel kick from PR Flyer, and then completely flies over Neutronic on his Asai Moonsault. Saber Claw over the top tope suicida on to all of them! San Juan Kid waiting for his dive, but Halloween trips him up. Halloween sets up a chair – chair assisted tope con giro! All five guys down, and San Juan Kid follows a reverse 630 splash! Dorada top rope Asai moonsault onto the pile. While they ever make it back in? Ohk there's going now. Neutronic takes care of both PR Flyers with clothesline with back elbows. Pr Flyer is limping, but manages a sort of enziguri on Neutronic, and holds him down for a tornillo 450 senton from SJK. One two three, Dorada cuts off Saber Claw with a kick. Captain on captain, it's over.
Coming up: the tag team tournament match.
Replays of the highlights from the last match, and there were a lot.
Nigel explains Lucha Libre USA sent Sydistiko in for a psychiatric evaluation. (Which looks a lot like a confessional.) “How are you feeling today, Mr. Sydistiko?” I didn't know that was a last name. Sydistiko is sick of people asking if he's crazy – maybe too much sugar, but not crazy. “Mark, Charly, Nova...I don't like the cut of their jib.” Sydistiko beats up the doctors when they won't let him walk off camera and laugh like a crazy person.
Backstage, Rebecca Reyes interviews Mascara Purpura – what is his goals? To be Lucha Libre champion – he just wants to be in the singles tournament. Rebecca starts asking about the tag team tournament as well. While it seems about right for generic Mascara Purpura to have a generic interview, we're interrupted by “Danger! High Voltage”.
Super Nova is in the ring, calling out Sydistiko. He's got ten seconds, or Syditsiko is coming in after him. Uno! Dos! Tres! Cuatro! Cinco! Seis! Siete! Ocho! Nueve! Dies! Crowd does a find job of counting for Super Nova. No Sydistiko, Super Nova goes to the back. That was sure productive.
Match 3: Oriental & Tinieblas Jr. vs Lujo Esquire & Marco Corleone (w/Solid) in a first round Lucha Libre USA Tag Team tournament match
Hippodrome, Springfield, MA, 06/19/2010
Winner: Oriental & Tinieblas Jr.
Match Time: 3:52
Rating: a lot of runs in and distractions
Notes: 50/50 bet if we see Super Nova again tonight. Lujo needs to read less obviously. Or maybe his lines needs to sound like something someone would actually say. Solid and Marco are not wearing matching gear this week. Break before this one gets started.
Not much time left to the hour. Four minutes, unless they're running long. Lujo and Oriental start, and Oriental can't trade with Lujo. They have no particular chemistry, but Oriental is able to turn a lift into a DDT. Tinieblas sneaks in to attack Lujo behind the refs back, and they both beat up Marco. Rudo whips Lujo in the corner, trip him up and crotch him on the post. Tinieblas in, rolling and posing. Group pose. Marco in and punching, Left hands for everyone. Tinieblas ducks the word, and pulls Tinieblas down by the head. Chinlock and Oriental bites him on the face. Hey, Super Nova found Sydistiko! And decided to bring him out to the stage to brawl. They brawl around ringside, and threw the crowd. And behind the crowd. Camera loses them, but they’re setting up a ladder next time we see. Sydistiko gets knocked off the ladder behind a wall, and Super Nova goes off the ladder for a tope con giro. We could barely see it because of the wall behind, but Super Nova is up and celebrating after. Meanwhile, the rudos are still in control the ring. That was just a random interlude. Corner whip on Marco, time for Marco to make the leapfrog-riffic comeback. Double clothesline on the rudos. Lujo lifts up Oriental, and Marco dropkicks him down. Lujo standing heel kick takes out Tinieblas. On the outside, Rellik holds on to Solid, and Oriental topes the big man. Hijo de Lizmark is lurking around too, but first Lujo takes out Rellik, Solid and Oriental with a tope of his own. Is Marco going to dive? No, Lizmark pops on the apron to forearm him. Marco punches Lizmark off the apron, but Tinieblas big boots him. Tinieblas can't remember how to do a jacknife cover, now he can, one two three.
Técnicos are laid out everywhere, as the announcers talk about Treachery striking in this match. Tinieblas and Oriental taunt Marco, as Nigel says next week will be in Las Vegas. That's it.