EMLL

(Arena Coliseo) Alan Stone, Chris Stone & Guerrero del Futuro vs. Mano Negra Jr, Volador Jr., Filoso- YES! Novatos on TV! Of course, if Guerrero weren’t this show’s producer they wouldn’t have a prayer of getting on, but hey. Sometimes you have to crack a few eggs to make an egg dish, you know? Futuro works in a long, boring armbar on Filoso until he flips out. People start missing aerial moves, then Filoso ducks down and Futuro and Chris butt heads. Filoso hits a tope followed by a Volador asai moonsault of beauty, taking the two crashing rudos out of the match. Mano Negra then uses an Indian deathlock bridge to pin Chris Stone. Second fall barely even airs, and the rudos win that. The rudos are still in control at the start of the third. Volador Jr. falls victim to Chris Stone giving Alan a boost into a top rope frankensteiner. Sweet. Los tecnicos comeback somewhere in here. Filoso takes a slow but vertical corner post Jerry bump from Alan Stone, then gets nailed with a springboard plancha. Chris and Futuro start arguing over who gets to finish off Volador, and the result is the Stone being taken out with a huge Volador suicide tope, and Guerrero del Futuro being pinned with a rana. This was pretty good. Volador and one of the Stones rock, though I probably had them mixed up ten times during this report. Futuro is horrible and archaic, yet at the price of his presence we get these guys on TV. All is well, yes? 

(Arena Mexico) La Fiera, Felino, Safari vs. Fuerza Guerrera, Poder Boriqua, Zumbido- Poder Boriqua is allegedly a new guy, and it sucks because he has the same name as the stable he is a part of. He is kind of tall, and fat, so he can a bunch be of people I don’t want to see here. Safari and Fuerza start us off with some nice mat work. Then Zumbido and Felino tag in and the speedometer gets cranked up ten-fold. Felino even kind of gives him a German suplex on the floor, so that Safari can dive out with a nice tope con giro. Poder gets his lights knocked out, meanwhile, with a Fiera enzuigiri and then Felino puts him in the amazingly painful reverse figure four. Fiera then continues to make me smile by kicking Fuerza in the back of the head really hard, waiting until he flinches on the floor, and slapping on ‘la de caballo to end the fall. Next fall starts with more Felino and Fuerza goodness, and then it all ends as the rudos decide they’ve had enough of fair play. Zumbido almost screws up a springboard, but redeems himself by pinning Safari with a backflip into a reverse cradle. Then Poder hits a senton off the top on Felino to tie the fall count up. So, we are in the third, and I think it gets edited. Safari and Poder both look kind of winded and after an exchange, Safari hits a plancha to the floor. Then, Fiera gets the better of Zumbido making him take a corner Jerry bump, and hits a big over the top tope. So Felino and Fuerza are left. They trade nearfalls a few times, but Zumbido tries a spinebuster slam and Fuerza counters into a rolling chickenwing facelock to take the match clean as could be! This was really good, at least what aired. The new guy doesn’t suck that bad.

(Arena Mexico) Emilio Charles Jr., El Signo, Negro Navarro vs. Olimpico, Villano III, Hijo de Lizmark- The first fall is all slow rudo stuff that is very fast forward worthy. Then suddenly, Olimpico and Lizmark have a pulse and take Navarro and Charles out with stereo topes. This allows Villano III to hit a huracanrana to pin his rival Signo to end fall one. Second fall starts with more… brawling though Signo grabs a row of chairs so it’s kind of fun. The camera was watching this and while that is going on Navarro and Charles get pinned I think. Weird. Then it turns out the commisioner not only called the DQ, but suspended the Missionarios for eight days. 
Ha-ha-ha-ha!

And now, it is time for EMLL weird-assed theater. Dr Wagner is in the locker room and hallucinates that a (real, live) kitten is actually Black Tiger. So, he freaks out, grabs the kitten, and throws it(legit!) and we hear a window crash. ROTFLMAO. Now that’s a rudo. You can feint low blows, use piledrivers and foreign objects, and brawl all around the building, but NOTHING tops a man who tosses kittens across the room! 

(Arena Mexico) Black Warrior, Shocker, Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Rayo de Jalisco Sr., Black Tiger, Mr. Niebla- From the reports we had thought this to be little Rayo, but the EMLL geniuses decide instead to use his fat daddy… ugh. Well, the other five guys are world class, so I don’t think Rayo can possibly screw this up. The first fall is unfortunately edited to finish, so all we see is Shocker splashing Tiger, and Warrior brutally guillotining Niebla off the ramp. In the second, they decide to have a fair match, so what we get is lots of great, fast work. Even Rayo is moving around quickly. Niebla catches Shocker in the corner and uses the Neblina, while Tiger hits Warrior with a trio of moonsaults. Third fall, Warrior takes two killer bumps in a matter of seconds, first a big Jerry bump and then Niebla nails him with a headscissors from top rope to apron, making Warrior take a killer unprotected bump on the floor. Niebla reenters the ring with a rana on Shocker, but accidentally runs into his Reinera hold and has to submit. Now Wagner and Black Tiger tag in, and have a gorgeous exhibition of wrestling… swinging DDTs, double inverted Gory special reverses, powerbombs… but neither man can put the other away. So Wagner ends up outside and gets nailed with a Tiger planchita. Shocker and Rayo get alone, but Rayo won’t sell nor can he put him away. Wagner and Tiger make it back in and try to have a switch, but Wagner won’t have any of it, and uses a really wicked low blow to end the match. This was great, great stuff while it lasted. Everyone was working top speed and then result was pretty, pure lucha for the most part. 

AAA(From Tijuana)-

King Azteca, Coliman, Enfermo vs. The Barrio Boys- AWESOME. Three new locals and I have no idea who any of them are. Azteca is chubby and has the Aztecan skirt armor, Enfermo looks like Terry Gordy, and the other guy has Halcon Negro tights. The local rudos take forever to end the first fall. Barrios come back in the next fall… yawn we’ve seen this before. Then the Barrios decide to invent a triple team reverse powerbomb off the top rope… wow! Awesome move. Crowd popped big for it. Now they start trading holds… Terry Gordy does an abdominal stretch and adds a noogie to the ribs for effect, then a dive sequence starts. Coliman wins the contest with a pretty good tope. And then, just to add to my anger, they do a low blow/retaliatory low blow finish, as if AAA’s regulars need such things to defeat a bunch of locals. The reverse powerbomb was cool, the rest of this was ok. Though I expect ugly outfits and badly blown spots in my AAA matches with locals, not average humdrum work.

Hector Garza vs. Electro Shock for the National Welterweight Title- We start out with some matwork, which is pretty nice. Then Garza starts getting the upperhand, even hitting his superkick, but his attempt at a dive is thwarted when Psicosis tosses water in his face. Electro Shock then capitalizes with a cristo hold to take the first fall. Electro continues to hold control in the second, thanks to random interference from his horned-cornerman. However, Garza fights back, and gets his chance to dive, then Hijo de Perro stops Psicosis from interfering again (and uses la lanza to knock him out), so Garza can hit a gorgeous second rope moonsault. Garza then rolls Electro back in and uses a standing moonsault pin. In the third fall, they go back and forth a bit, with Garza taking a big spill over the corner. Then Shock Shocks us all by doing a highspot… a tope! As I type this the ref went down, Perrito got water in his eyes and was blinded, and then he fouled Garza allowed Shock to score the pinfall. That was an incredibly crummy ending to an otherwise decent match. I’m beginning to think that Hector Garza is really awesome and/or Electro Shock no longer deserves to have his name typo’d as Electro Suck. I mean this is two matches in a row he managed to look ok-to-good in. 

Alebrije, Sangre Chicana & Parka Jr. vs. The Monster, Mascara Maligna, & Pentagon- NOOOOOOOOO! Not the monster, not the monster agh! Luckily, he retains his midget sidekick Chucky, so the torture is twice as great. This match doesn’t have a chance in hell at being good, so I shall fast forward through it and tell you what happened. The rudos punched a lot and won the first fall, then in the second Kuije and Alebrije did some funny comedy and then so did Parka. Eventually Parka has all the rudos and refs brawling with each other… oh damn. I said this match had no chance in hell… how ironic that we have an evil commisioner come down and put in new referees. Third fall has more funny comedy, mostly with Alebrije and Parka picking on people. Eventually Texano enters the ring to attack Chicana and that’s that. So, if you like funny lucha comedy this was cool, because Parka and Alebrije had me in stitches. Still, I can’t comprehend a wrestler agreeing to do the Monster gimmick. There is no monster that looks like that, he gets slapped around and likely cries himself to sleep at night. I don’t really understand this Chicana and Texano feud but chances are it will end in hair vs. hair match that we’ll never see.

And now… *drumroll*… the half year awards:

MVP: Satanico- Has been in two straight hot feuds, headlining many shows. He has also been providing great work in all his matches despite being elderly(which is usually a good enough excuse for most luchadores to mail it in). The inevitable mask vs. hair match with Ultimo Guerrero will likely accomplish two things- create another star in Guerrero who can headline shows and it will also give Satanico another classic match under his belt.

Best Worker: Blue Panther- Gave a good to great performance in every match I’ve seen of his this year. He is the master of the pure lucha libre style I am a fond of, and has been carrying entire matches whenever he is in them.

Best Rudo: Dr Wagner Jr: Tons of personality. Can be extremely funny in his taunting of the crowd and other wrestlers. Plus, he is the master of the viscous “kick your ass and laugh with a hoarse throated voice” style and is always pissing the crowd off. 

Best Tecnico: Hector Garza- Well he is loved by the crowd and any time he gets hit in the face you can hear a crescendo of shrieks, so I would say he is doing something right. 

Best Match: Blue Panther/Fuerza Guerrera/El Signo vs. Mr. Niebla/Olimpico/Safari (National Trios Titles) 3/3/01- This was on the PPV “Jucio Final” and was almost entirely excellent. Everything was done crisply, and the match was an excellent exhibition of the fast-paced lucha style mixed in with some gorgeous mat wrestling and flying. 

Diamond in the Rough: Mascara Segrada- He seems to be the only regular AAA worker that has a clue about how to work a normal match. Has lots of talent, can brawl, fly, and mat wrestle. Plus, the crowd loves him. If AAA crumbles like rumors persist I hope that EMLL picks him up instead of the old, portly original Segrada.

Rookies of the Year: Los Caifanes Rockeros I and II- These guys are AWESOME. They are regulars of the MTY scene and have already established themselves as an elite tag team that can wrestle a great match with anyone. II is slightly better than I, and is a great flyer and completely willing to sacrifice his body to make a good match. Look out for any MTY matches with these guys in it. 

Best Feud: Los Infernales vs. Los Infernales- This has been the thing to watch on TV. It not only brought back rudo vs. rudo matches to EMLL, but made them so popular that now every show seems to have one or two of them. The matches have all been at least good, and some have been great. This feud is helping solidify the legend of Satanico, and in addition, has elevated Ultimo Guerrero from upper midcarder to main event and Rencor Latino from highly underpushed midcarder to somewhere in the mid-upper card. 

“Welcome Back” Award of Resurgence: Silver King- A tour of Japan can make any luchador happy and in the mood to wrestle again. Visiting Japan made Wagner into one of the best five rudos in the world, and now it seems to have brought back the effort of Silver King, who is looking top-notch on EMLL TV and even in MTY and IWRG. 

Most Underpushed Wrestler: Sangre Azteca- He really should be working the terceras like Marvin now. Azteca is quite better than just about any rudo that works the first two matches, and is in league with guys like Violencia and Halcon Negro. Plus his gimmick and attire just rule.

Biggest Surprise: Rayo de Jalisco Jr.- I thought this guy would be kind of overpushed since the recent trend seems to be for big names to rush their sons into the ring and in the middle of a big push, but “Rayitito” has shown he can work quite a bit. Also, the crowd really warmed up to him and is always hot for his matches.

Most Crappiest Wrestler: “Hijo” del Pierroth- Friends don’t let friends give green workers who look like they haven’t been in the ring five minutes the gimmick of the son of the most hated rudo in Mexico. The crowd has turned on him, as have all the lucha fans who have seen him on TV. He blew a body slam once for chrissakes. THIS GUY SUCKS.

Worst Feud- Hijo del Santo vs. Dr. Cerebro- This technically started last year but it ended this year in Cerebro’s mask falling. The entire idea was stupid, stupid, stupid. If you want to book Santo and Cerebro for an awesome, heated title match or two- great. But a mask vs. mask match in Naulcupan? That’s a waste of time and of Cerebro’s gimmick. In addition, none of their matches were that great IMO(except for the Super Libre), so Cerebro basically lost his mask for nothing. 

… and finally, the top five things I would like to see by the end of the year:

1: Shocker taking Emilio Charles hair.
2: A torneo cibernetico with the Novatos, completely unedited.
3: A 45-minute Monterrey 4 on 4 tag match without ref interference.
4: Another really awesome AAA minis match.
5: Ultimo Guerrero and Satanico going all-out for a ***** classic.

Ok that was fun, now bye bye.